Problems with Nerviousness

[Sudodo]

Hey everyone! I'm looking for some advice from the more experienced members to give me some perspective on a problem I'm currently facing. I seem to have a bad case of nerves before pretty much every flight. Not to the point where it stops me from flying, but bad enough that it's making me look critically at whether I can continue to pursue my lifelong dream of commercial aviation.

To give context I am in my 4th year of a part 141 aviation-focused college degree. I have my Commercial and Instrument and am just past 200 hours. When I started flight training I was PETRIFIED, super nervous in the plane and before flights. I talked to some people and read some stuff online so I decided to stick with it and I found that the VAST majority of that fear during flights went away around the 50-80 hour mark. I was still, however, left with that anxious feeling before flights and some very manageable but still present nerves during flights. Importantly I found that the more often I flew the less nervous I'd be both before and during flights. So overall I decided to keep going and power through.

Recently I've had a very bad instructor who has truly done a number on my passion for aviation. He is an Airline pilot teaching a simulator class and possibly has the worst combination of attributes I could ever dream up for an instructor to have (His lectures are just sessions where he talks about how hard being a 121 pilot is and how good he is at it and how bad everyone in his class is for not being able to do it). Sorry, rant over and back to the topic at hand! This combined with HORRID flight time (seriously just 3 flights in 3 months) due to plane availability/wx has made life difficult.

I had sorta expected the nerves before flights to go away by now, but they haven't and so I've been left contemplating if I'm just not cut out for this (this has only made that anxious feeling worse). I find that I start to get worried about a day in advance but the nerves only really hit hard about 4 hours beforehand. They seem to greatly recede either right after engine start or at rotation. It's gotten to the point where I really sort of feel dread for flights up until the point that I'm in the air which has taken a lot of the fun out of it. As I near the end of my multi I'm at the point where I have to decide whether or not I get my CFI and I don't want to be in the position of being a CFI who hates showing up to work because I'm nervous.

Are there any CFI's or 121 pilots who were in the same position as me? Have you found that it went away with time, if so at what point did it or what caused the change? If there's a light at the end of the tunnel I'm very much willing to push through and accomplish what I've always wanted to do, but it's been very hard to find motivation to push through as of late.

Thanks for reading and any advice would be appreciated,
Sudo

 

[rhkennerly]

turn anxiety into your superpower. Channel it, don’t fight it. Anxious people are exactly the kind of people we recruited for intelligence work. Careful, checking & double checking every detail, scouring every report or database, coming in early or staying late because they were afraid they’d left some analytical stone unturned. We’d have to pry their report from their hands.

I’d posit that you relax as soon as the engine turns over because you’ve done all you could possibly do. I’d say that makes you a better pilot than the devil may care pilot and the guy I’d want up front of my airline seat. The secret, though, is keeping it under reasonable control. Exercise, in particular, seems to help. There are, of course, activities you might engage in that relieve he anxiety in the short run but are ruinous in the long term. Get a little councilling.

(And get rid of that instructor as soon as you can.)

 

[bonefishpete]

You need to fly more. Rent at another airport if needed. Plan flights and use the system every time, IFR or flight following.

 

[bonefishpete]

turn anxiety into your superpower. Channel it, don’t fight it. Anxious people are exactly the kind of people we recruited for intelligence work. Careful, checking & double checking every detail, scouring every report or database, coming in early or staying late because they were afraid they’d left some analytical stone unturned. We’d have to pry their report from their hands.

I’d posit that you relax as soon as the engine turns over because you’ve done all you could possibly do. I’d say that makes you a better pilot than the devil may care pilot and the guy I’d want up front of my airline seat. The secret, though, is keeping it under reasonable control. Exercise, in particular, seems to help. There are, of course, activities you might engage in that relieve he anxiety in the short run but are ruinous in the long term. Get a little councilling.

(And get rid of that instructor as soon as you can.). No

“Get a little counseling “
I’d caution against that.
Suck it up and get flying by yourself.

 

[Gilbert Buettner]

I remember lots of times when the weather was marginal, and I would have a knot in my stomach on the drive to the airport. But I would tell myself that I have been trained for this, that I know what to do, and that I have done this before. And once I got in the seat in the airplane and fastened the seat belt, I discovered the anxious feeling melted away.

Fly as much as you can, and tell yourself that YOU KNOW what to do.

 

[Rcmutz]

I’ve got 1500 hours over almost 50 years of flying except for a 8 year layoff. To this day, if I am going cross country, I have a bit of anxiousness in the days leading up. Mostly due to weather watching. I don’t think it is unusual to have a bit of anxiety leading up to a day of a flight. As someone said, channel it and use it to help you prepare better for the flight.

 

[Gary Ward]

I think you need to fly more before you can decide if commercial aviation is for you.
200 hours is not much, congratulations on the instrument and commercial ratings.
If you can rent a plane once a week and go fly it by yourself. It might motivate you.

 

[Ed Haywood]

Most of the commercial aviation guys I know LOVE to fly. It is their passion. When they aren't flying heavy metal, they are screwing around in a Pitts or a Cub. Anything to get the dopamine hit. And when they aren't flying, they dream of it.

If you don't really enjoy flying, I think you need to have a hard look at your goals. You have proved you CAN do it. But do you WANT to do it for the rest of your working life? Only you can answer that. Don't let yourself get stuck on a path you don't enjoy just because it has always been your "dream".

As for fear, some of that is not flying frequently enough. In addition, I suggest you go get about 5 hours of aerobatic training. That might build your confidence in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.

 

[AvNavCom]

Okay, so you'll need to start by watching every episode of Star Trek TNG and DS9 that has Klingons in it. Immerse yourself in that mindset. Following your preflights but right before you get into the plane, you need to pound your chest and yell "Today is a good day to die!". Bonus points if you can lock eyes with your instructor when you do this.

If you're not a Trek fan, you can channel Frank Herbert's "Dune" by repeating "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." Most effective if whispered while rocking in the cockpit seat.

Both of these methods are guaranteed to fully focus your CFIs on what they need to do for a safe and effective flight. Subscribe to my newsletter for more training tips.

More seriously, agree with the above posts that some anxiety prior to flight is adaptive and can be channeled to make you detail-oriented and safe. I'd rather fly with the guy who checks twice than doesn't bother to check at all. Just remember that nervousness while flying isn't capital-A "Anxiety", so don't get yourself a diagnosis of that inadvertently. Also second the recommendations for lots more exposure and potentially some aerobatic (or at least spin) training.

Hopefully you decide that flying is for you. If you decide otherwise, that's fine too. Don't put yourself in a situation in which you hate and fear your daily work.