Opinions & A-Holes; Everybody's got one

BarryCooper said:
All I'm saying is this jerk has now inserted into her mind that she may end up a widow some day. Why would anyone do that?
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Sounds like he is jealous.

When you get your license you and your wife fly up to GTR and we can go get some Little Dooey BBQ and then Ill take you over to the simulators for some flying. Seriously.
 
everyone knows that 83.4 percent of statistics are made up on the spot
 
Are you training in a 4 place aircraft? Take her along on a lesson. Don't do steeps and stalls, or unusual recoveries, do turns around point, S turns, landings.

Being in the backseat with you flying and a CFI there for legality and comfort will go a long way to relieving her apprehensions.
 
German guy said:
I really wonder why women tend to be so concerned about flying and usually show so little interest in it!?
Most girlfriends / wifes are not even willing to tag along with their partners...
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On the other hand, the guy I was dating when I started to take flying lessons didn't approve so that was the end of that. Looking him up on the internet after many years, he's become pretty successful...
 
Before I met my husband, I was dating a private pilot. On one of our dates, he took me for a ride in his plane, and it was absolutely wonderful. I trusted his ability completely, even though by some people's standards, he wasn't experienced enough. Two weeks after our flight, JFK, Jr. died. He was more experienced than my guy, and that scared me off general aviation for 16 years.

So when my husband expressed interest last year in obtaining his PPL, I was a little nervous. Accidents happen, even to the most conscientious pilots. Every reported accident gets filed into the fear corner of my mind. Unlike car travel, I couldn't use the sheer number of people I knew who survived a plane crash to allay my fears. I refused to go with him for any of his lessons, because it was scary.

It's not that I didn't trust him or his ability, or that I believed some random stranger over him. My fear did not mean that I was unsupportive, either. All the statistics backing the relative safety of GA won't change anyone's mind, just as they didn't change mine. There is a reason that they are called accidents, and while training minimizes the risk, it doesn't eliminate it.

Oddly enough, it took my husband's accident (non-fatal) in January for me to get over my fear. I started lessons in April, and I finally understand how one can reconcile the risk with the sheer thrill.

Hopefully, your wife will come around without you crashing, but understand that fears are not always rational and don't imply a lack of confidence in you. As a formerly fearful wife, I'd just say she loves you and doesn't want to lose you.
 
Kathafire said:
Before I met my husband, I was dating a private pilot. On one of our dates, he took me for a ride in his plane, and it was absolutely wonderful. I trusted his ability completely, even though by some people's standards, he wasn't experienced enough. Two weeks after our flight, JFK, Jr. died. He was more experienced than my guy, and that scared me off general aviation for 16 years.

So when my husband expressed interest last year in obtaining his PPL, I was a little nervous. Accidents happen, even to the most conscientious pilots. Every reported accident gets filed into the fear corner of my mind. Unlike car travel, I couldn't use the sheer number of people I knew who survived a plane crash to allay my fears. I refused to go with him for any of his lessons, because it was scary.

It's not that I didn't trust him or his ability, or that I believed some random stranger over him. My fear did not mean that I was unsupportive, either. All the statistics backing the relative safety of GA won't change anyone's mind, just as they didn't change mine. There is a reason that they are called accidents, and while training minimizes the risk, it doesn't eliminate it.

Oddly enough, it took my husband's accident (non-fatal) in January for me to get over my fear. I started lessons in April, and I finally understand how one can reconcile the risk with the sheer thrill.

Hopefully, your wife will come around without you crashing, but understand that fears are not always rational and don't imply a lack of confidence in you. As a formerly fearful wife, I'd just say she loves you and doesn't want to lose you.
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Thank you for sharing your story. You go girl.... I can't wait to hear how you are doing after you get started.
 
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So... What are the correct stats? I heard the motorcycle thing, but can we put some sort of numbers to it?
 
Kathafire said:
Two weeks after our flight, JFK, Jr. died. He was more experienced than my guy, and that scared me off general aviation for 16 years.
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JFK only had about 310 hours at the time of the accident. Not a whole lot of experience. Also his estimated flight time in the accident airplane was about 36 hours and only three hours of that flight time was without a certified flight instructor on board. Strange that he flew with a CFI so much in that airplane, 33 out of 36 hours. Lack of comfort or confidence?
 
Kathafire said:
Oddly enough, it took my husband's accident (non-fatal) in January for me to get over my fear. I started lessons in April, and I finally understand how one can reconcile the risk with the sheer thrill.
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I hope your husband has or is quickly recovering.

Vehicle aviation or other type of accident?


To the OP:
I am married to a woman who flies...gets right in...knows where all of the "passenger switches" are...carries something to read..

However...

She is irrationally scared of driving on the interstate...if there is a brake light 2000 yards or further ahead of us...her feet slam into the floorboard like a crash is imminent...

I have explained to her for five years that these fears have never manifested themselves into a rear end collision...

Fly. Come home. Go places. Get your instrument rating. Fly. Learn. Make it known when you scrub a flight due to weather or a safety issue.
 
Jay Honeck said:
Statistically, most pilots are afraid of heights.

I'm not too bad (I'm good to about 3 stories on a ladder, 10 stories in a building) but I am terrified in 100+ story buildings, or hiking in the Grand Canyon. I made it about a mile before turning back.

I then went and flew over the canyon for 2 solid hours, no problemo. And I've flown past Chicago buildings many times, without a thought. Go figure.
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I have a buddy who has had a window office up in the Sears Tower (renamed now?:dunno:) for a long time. I visited him there once and he had his BASE jumping rig on a butler rack in the corner. Made me laugh. He said "Laugh all you want, this building burns, I'm out the window." After 9/11 his position seemed much more sensible.
 
I am also quite uneasy with heights. And I can't stand it when the step kids run up to a high ledge. But I get no sense of heights in an airplane.

My mom, on the other hand, is deathly terrified of heights. She nearly didn't make it through a single lap in the pattern.
 
BarryCooper said:
My first lesson was March 16. I now have 44 hrs, all requirements are met, I'm just practicing for the check ride July 1st. I have worked hard for the last 3 months putting my wife at ease. She has finally warmed to idea over the last few weeks.

Today some a-hole in her office told her "statistics are that your husband will have a catastrophic accident before he gets to 1000 hrs."

WTH? Now I'm back at square one!
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It might seem to you like a setback since you had been trying to put your wife at ease - but this might actually condition her to understand that no matter what someone regurgitates, the sky won't be falling. Be patient and give your wife time to realize you will be fine.

I could write a novel about this but no one would read it so suffice it to say in the 3 years since I started flying my wife has gone from "what will happen if you die in a crash" to "when will you take the kids flying?".( Yeah, i can hear the jokes already ha ha).

Now i probably need another decade before she finds a way to get over the phobia and come fly with me "in a small plane" - but her "no way" is less paranoid than it used to be.

So give it time, show her it will be all right
 
asechrest said:
I am also quite uneasy with heights. And I can't stand it when the step kids run up to a high ledge. But I get no sense of heights in an airplane.

My mom, on the other hand, is deathly terrified of heights. She nearly didn't make it through a single lap in the pattern.
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Yea I'm afraid of heights as well. In the airplane it's fine butI won't climb up a ladder, go bungie jumping, or anything that involves climbing something high.
 
Ditto. In the airplane no issue whatsoever. Climb up a ladder or get near the edge of a ledge... Whoa!!
 
jordane93 said:
Yea I'm afraid of heights as well. In the airplane it's fine butI won't climb up a ladder, go bungie jumping, or anything that involves climbing something high.
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I feel the same way. Get me next to a window in a sky scraper and I feel as if I am going to fall.

I had a shrink for a student years ago. I asked him why heights bother me but not in an airplane. He asked me if I feel as if unseen force is trying to will me over the edge when I am in a tall building.

Yes I do.

He then explained that I do not have a fear of heights but instead I have a fear of falling.
 
Kathafire said:
Before I met my husband, I was dating a private pilot. On one of our dates, he took me for a ride in his plane, and it was absolutely wonderful. I trusted his ability completely, even though by some people's standards, he wasn't experienced enough. Two weeks after our flight, JFK, Jr. died. He was more experienced than my guy, and that scared me off general aviation for 16 years.

So when my husband expressed interest last year in obtaining his PPL, I was a little nervous. Accidents happen, even to the most conscientious pilots. Every reported accident gets filed into the fear corner of my mind. Unlike car travel, I couldn't use the sheer number of people I knew who survived a plane crash to allay my fears. I refused to go with him for any of his lessons, because it was scary.

It's not that I didn't trust him or his ability, or that I believed some random stranger over him. My fear did not mean that I was unsupportive, either. All the statistics backing the relative safety of GA won't change anyone's mind, just as they didn't change mine. There is a reason that they are called accidents, and while training minimizes the risk, it doesn't eliminate it.

Oddly enough, it took my husband's accident (non-fatal) in January for me to get over my fear. I started lessons in April, and I finally understand how one can reconcile the risk with the sheer thrill.

Hopefully, your wife will come around without you crashing, but understand that fears are not always rational and don't imply a lack of confidence in you. As a formerly fearful wife, I'd just say she loves you and doesn't want to lose you.
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I started flying right after JFK jr. spiraled in. Everyone in my family was convinced that was the only outcome in small airplane flying. That is all they hear about. I started taking my wife and daughter to get ice cream and we would stop and eat it a the picnic tables at the local GA airport nearby. It changed the way she looked at GA. Lots of activity - people coming back from flights happy. All most people see and hear about are the accidents on the news. Through good decision making, we need to show family and friends the risks can be significantly reduced.
Good luck with your flying lessons Kathleen!
 
The thing about the JFK Jr. accident is that, aside from the massive search later, how unremarkable it was. It could have happened to any non-instrument rated pilot. It didn't happen because he was rich and famous (the airplane was appropriate for his hours) or because he was a risk-taker. He did what many before and after him have done, fly on into lowering visibility without a visible horizon then lose control.
 
Everskyward said:
The thing about the JFK Jr. accident is that, aside from the massive search later, how unremarkable it was. It could have happened to any non-instrument rated pilot. It didn't happen because he was rich and famous (the airplane was appropriate for his hours) or because he was a risk-taker. He did what many before and after him have done, fly on into lowering visibility without a visible horizon then lose control.
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What made JFK different was that he had a $20K autopilot that would have saved his bacon, had he only pushed the button.
:(
 
Jay Honeck said:
What made JFK different was that he had a $20K autopilot that would have saved his bacon, had he only pushed the button.
:(
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That didn't make him different. I would guess that many airplanes of that type had autopilots.
 
Zeldman said:
Or if his instructor had only taught him how and when to use the A/P.
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True. But maybe he was lurking on POA and saw all the posts about how using the autopilot is "cheating". If someone isn't confident in autopilot use, their instinct would not be to engage it in an emergency.
 
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