New generation Vocabulary additions

gkainz

Final Approach
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Greg Kainz
NEW WORDS FOR 2007 :
Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!

1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard

4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find your self unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Often feel like doing this to my computer--)

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

6. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.
 
In David Letterman fashion, a friend just sent me the 2006 vocab additions... some are in the '07 list above
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10. Ringtone Rage: The violent response felt by cube mates after hearing
that same silly-ass cell phone ringtone for the 15th time.

9. Prairie Dogging: A modern office phenomenon demonstrated by workers simultaneously pop their heads up out of their cubicles to see what's going on.

8. Clockroaches: Employees who spend most of their day watching the clock - instead of doing their jobs

7. Plutoed: To be unceremoniously dumped or relegated to a lower position without an adequate reason or explanation.

6. BMWs: Bitchers, Moaners and Whiners. How many do you work with?

5. Death by Tweakage: When a product or project fails due to unnecessary tinkering, too many last-minute revisions, or too much adminisphere (see #4) involvement.

4. Adminisphere: The upper levels of management where big, impractical, and completely counterproductive decisions are made.

3. Bobbleheading: The mass nod of agreement by participants in a meeting to comments made by the boss even though most have no friggin' idea what he/she is talking about.

2. Blamestorming: A group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves.

And the #1 new corporate word for 2006 -

Deja Poo: The feeling that you've seen, heard, smelled, and maybe even stepped in, this same stupid bull**** before!!!
 
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