New Family - Keep Flying?

steamee

steamee

Pre-takeoff checklist
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Steamee
Did you keep flying after having kids?

In about 8 weeks the wife and I will be having our first (and only) child.

At my current rate of flying I'll be averaging somewhere around 30 hours per year come my biennial next year. I've been trying to fly about every other week. More during the summer, less during the winter.

I'm a renter. There are a few more cross-countries that I'd like to do within the range and limits of my rental situation, but I'm starting to run out of real destinations. I got checked out on the G1000 C172s and maybe I'd try for some spin training or complex, but I don't have any plans for doing IFR.

So long short I'm running out of places to go, am making less money then when I started, and will have more expenses. I'm not sure how else to push the flying and the thing I fear the most is not be flying frequently enough to be safe. I already feel I'm doing the bare minimum in terms of hours. Which brings me to a nagging guilt of whether I shouldn't be lowering my risk overall by keeping myself grounded until my son is at least old enough to walk and talk.

I love flying. I feel safe and confident right now. Getting and exercising the PPL the last few years has really been an awesome experience. It's one of the things I'm most proudest of having accomplished in my life. I have an image in my head of taking my son up in an airplane someday and maybe even being a father/son flight team (if he wants). Yet I wonder whether I'm being selfish.

Do I hang up the wings for 5-10 years? Just keep doing as much as I can as long as I can pass medicals and reviews? Is there a minimum amount of hours per year at which it really isn't a good idea to fly until I can devote more time and energy to it?
 
I started flying after the kids (twins) were born, but they were only 4 at the time. Things were going well, earned my PP, took trips with the wife and the kids for lunch or to St. Michaels with some other POA'rs. 1 1/2 years ago, SURPRISE! Along came Madison,... and it's put that additional burden on our finances and also more importantly, my time.

I was a 50+ hr / year pilot for 3 years running, now this year I have less than 5 (all with CFI). Each time I go, I take a CFI. Sometimes in the Citabria to keep the feet working and sometimes in the Cessna 172SP, Both are rentals. I hope to get thru this slump slowly, but by flying occasionally and stopping by the airport when I can. Hang it up,..No,... I"m fighting not to...
 
That sounds like it's more a decision between you and your wife than anything else as a matter of budgeting. But with a baby on the way, my inclination would be to suggest that you put it off for a bit. When your child is old enough that it's an activity you two can enjoy together, maybe then would be the time to get your medical current, get a flight review, and go do some hundred dollar hamburgers together.

How much you need to fly a year is going to vary heavily depending on you, and a comparison to others is probably not going to be very useful. I know people who fly under 10 hours a year and I think are just fine with it. I also see people who fly 100 hours a year and are still marginal. So that's something you'll need to determine for yourself.
 
It's not the amount of hours you fly per year, it's the quality of those hours that matters. Just because you aren't "as active" doesn't mean you have to hang it up. It just means that when you do get those chances to go, you make the most of them and learn something everytime.
 
best of luck. i have met a lot of people who learned to fly young and many of them have these interesting 20 year breaks. kids cost a lot of money and take a lot of time. when it boils down to it flying is recreation and especially if you're wife doesn't find any utility in it its going to be one of the first things to go.
 
The best use I have gotten out of my certificate, has been the trips we have taken as a family. The ability to go to neat places, places which are not readily accessible by Aluminum Tube of Death, and are too far to comfortably drive, are perfect destinations for a holder of a private pilot certificate.

Think of it in this way, and you may have a whole new attitude.
 
I took a 25+ year break.To be safe you have to fly often. I couldn't justify the funds to fly often, and my wife deserves more from me than flying unsafe.
 
My wife has always supported my flying and flight training. More so than my own immediate family. I don't think she'd ever tell me to stop if I asked her straight up, but I'll probably bring it up again with her.

My intention here is just to hear what others have done in this situation and maybe come up with some alternatives. For example, flying with a CFI more often. I suspect the sheer time commitment to a newborn in the short term will take me out of the active flying whether I want to or not. I guess the real question will be whether I re-up during the Feb biennial or pack it in for a while.
 
It's all about priorities. Ankle-biter trumps airplanes unless the airplanes are going to pay to send the kid through college.

I took 8 years off, straightened out a hell of a personal finance mess, and ended up with habits and new behaviors that eventually allowed me to say "yes" when an opportunity arose to join an LLC co-ownership. It still terrified me (re: those new habits and behaviors like never buying something you can't afford to pay cash for) but my wife pushed me over the cliff.

Airplanes are only second only to helicopters and burning piles of cash on the front lawn as a way to destroy personal financial assets. ;)

If we chose to raise kids (adopt, that is... we're unable to have kids the usual way for various reasons), the flying would stop until I could afford both. That's my take on it.

The budget numbers will make the decision for you. Co-ownership or a well-run club may be the best options in the future.

Raise 'em up right and you'll know you did the right thing forever. If flying will detract from their lives, you must quit.

That's the tough love speech for the day.

Posted homestly even though it pains me to see another aviator have to set aside the passion. The siren call won't go away but it can be managed for a while and it becomes a serious motivator to up one's personal income. Just don't start a Ponzi scheme, ok? ;)
 
I knew one guy who stopped flying his helicopter and 206 after having his first kid. He said he didn't want to leave them as orphans. Another friend told him there was an easy solution - when he and his wife went flying, take the kid with them.
 
I didn't start flying until the kids were in college. Up until that time I either had the time or the money, but not both. I know, you took up flying while they were in college? Nice thing about a wife who works and kids going to a public university. And joining a flying club that kept the cost "reasonable".

Priorities. You must set priorities. And when the kids were growing up, they were the priority. You have them, you raise them. And I wouldn't trade a minute of it, either.
 
I find flying to be a great break from the daily grind. Sometimes when I am getting over-stressed with things at work or at home, it is nice to clear my mind from these things and concentrate on flying for an hour. You may need a break every now and then when your new bundle of joy has an ear ache or wants to write on the walls with crayons.

Even if you don't plan on flying a whole lot, it may be a good idea to fly with a CFI for an hour every so often. At least this way you won't stop flying completely. The cost will still be relatively low if you only fly an hour or two a month and it's something nice to do for yourself. I would suggest you let your wife go shopping for a couple hours when you get home from the airport, though, just to keep the peace.
 
I got my CFI about the same time my son was born, which meant flying actually started supplementing the budget and supporting my habit of flying.

Only during short periods of unemployment have I instructed full time.


Brian
 
I have a lot less money now with a daughter, but I keep flying. She took her first airplane ride before she could crawl.
 
tonycondon said:
best of luck. i have met a lot of people who learned to fly young and many of them have these interesting 20 year breaks. kids cost a lot of money and take a lot of time. when it boils down to it flying is recreation and especially if you're wife doesn't find any utility in it its going to be one of the first things to go.
Click to expand...

I once told a girlfriend that if nothing serious came up (like a serious medical bill, or something) and had no kids; if i was given a choice of flying or her, flying would win.

Obviously life happens, and sometimes you literally don't have time or money, but if she had a dumb reason like she was afraid I would crash or something, I basically said get over it....

Guess how well that went over :rofl:
 
There's no reason to give it up if your finances allow you a little extra. A buddy of mine has a daughter now 2 and another on the way. He tries to fly a couple of times a month and begs, borrows, or steals time from friends as often as time permits.
 
Obviously, if you have to choose between new child and aviating, the child will come first, but there are some significant ways to reduce the cost of flying for you to the point that you may continue to be able to fly (and to share aviation with you new family member):

1. Find a club. There are a lot of airplane clubs out there, and most of them are not advertised anywhere, so you have to ask around. In most cases, you can find a club for very little buy in, with huge discounts on rate. Many times these planes are dry, so you can search for cheaper fuel elsewhere and save even more money.

2. Maybe a partnership, depending on how much you can drop at once. This will allow you to continue to fly for a LOT less money, and you only get gigged for maintenance at your even share of the total cost. Warning - engines are still expensive, even when there are 4 partners.

3. Get your CFI. Then, you can fly for free, or make a little money. Did you know, as a private pilot, you can get your Sport Pilot CFI without a commercial or instrument rating? You may already be close to fulfilling the flight requirements to do so.

4. Get a job, even part time, at the local FBO. Often, fueling planes nets you an hourly discount off the rental of their planes.
 
Don't deny your children the amazing things that flying your own plane can offer. My wife and I are both pilots, and we have flown our kids from sea to shining sea, showing them amazing vistas and visiting places that would have been inaccessible to the airlines.

Is there risk? Yup. In our situation, we decided the rewards outweighed the risks. (We did make some minor concessions. We never fly at night, for example, just because the reward did not seem to counter-balance the added risk.)

Whatever decision you make, make it as a team with your wife.
 
steamee said:
Did you keep flying after having kids?

In about 8 weeks the wife and I will be having our first (and only) child.

At my current rate of flying I'll be averaging somewhere around 30 hours per year come my biennial next year. I've been trying to fly about every other week. More during the summer, less during the winter.

I'm a renter. There are a few more cross-countries that I'd like to do within the range and limits of my rental situation, but I'm starting to run out of real destinations. I got checked out on the G1000 C172s and maybe I'd try for some spin training or complex, but I don't have any plans for doing IFR.

So long short I'm running out of places to go, am making less money then when I started, and will have more expenses. I'm not sure how else to push the flying and the thing I fear the most is not be flying frequently enough to be safe. I already feel I'm doing the bare minimum in terms of hours. Which brings me to a nagging guilt of whether I shouldn't be lowering my risk overall by keeping myself grounded until my son is at least old enough to walk and talk.

I love flying. I feel safe and confident right now. Getting and exercising the PPL the last few years has really been an awesome experience. It's one of the things I'm most proudest of having accomplished in my life. I have an image in my head of taking my son up in an airplane someday and maybe even being a father/son flight team (if he wants). Yet I wonder whether I'm being selfish.

Do I hang up the wings for 5-10 years? Just keep doing as much as I can as long as I can pass medicals and reviews? Is there a minimum amount of hours per year at which it really isn't a good idea to fly until I can devote more time and energy to it?
Click to expand...


Well, I have a question for you, "Why do you fly?" Do you just love to go fly? Does your family have to go with you? There are some very low cost single seat solutions to flying, especially under Pt 103. These are raw flying fun. I had a weight shift but it had an augmenting rudder and spoilerons. Dirt cheap to fly. Just keep a landing spot made. You don't carry much energy into a landing. Gyrocopters are interesting as well. I've gotten 2 runs at a gyro and enjoyed them both. They are simple and safe when operated within their limitations. "If you feel light, you're doing something wrong" is one of the operating tips I was given lol... There are also a bit larger single seaters like the Midget Mustang and S-1 series Pitts... Lot's of really fun and capable small single seaters that operate very economically and allow you to fly a lot more frequently. Most of these planes are aerobatic and do not require a destination for a purpose.

If that doesn't float your boat, then yeah, hang it up for a few years until you have a purpose and a destination to fly. Heck, I didn't fly except about 5 hrs across almost 7 years once.
 
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Keep flying, there were a few years that I may only get an hour a month or less on average while the daughter was growing up and I was pulling 60+hr work weeks.

I'd grab a C150 or C172 and go beat up the pattern for an hour on a Sunday afternoon.
We called it Daddy's Stress Reliever.
 
Henning said:
Well, I have a question for you, "Why do you fly?" Do you just love to go fly? Does your family have to go with you? There are some very low cost single seat solutions to flying, especially under Pt 103. These are raw flying fun. I had a weight shift but it had an augmenting rudder and spoilerons. Dirt cheap to fly. Just keep a landing spot made. You don't carry much energy into a landing. Gyrocopters are interesting as well. I've gotten 2 runs at a gyro and enjoyed them both. They are simple and safe when operated within their limitations. "If you feel light, you're doing something wrong" is one of the operating tips I was given lol... There are also a bit larger single seaters like the Midget Mustang and S-1 series Pitts... Lot's of really fun and capable small single seaters that operate very economically and allow you to fly a lot more frequently. Most of these planes are aerobatic and do not require a destination for a purpose.

If that doesn't float your boat, then yeah, hang it up for a few years until you have a purpose and a destination to fly. Heck, I didn't fly except about 5 hrs across almost 7 years once.
Click to expand...

Henning has a good point, lots of decent homebuilts out there for less money than the price of the engine and instruments on them.
 
Lots of widely varying viewpoints here and some good questions for me to tackle. So the other day I had this conversation:

Me: "So how long do you think I should keep flying?"
Wife: "What do you mean? Fly as long as you want."
Me: "You know there is risk. What if I crash?"
Wife: "Then don't crash."
Me: "!"
:rolleyes:

It's enough to make me wonder if it's not me whose "holdinging on too tight." (Yes I went there on an aviation board). :lol: It's not like I'm going to go on a mission to instill fear, but sometimes I wonder if she's not taking it seriously enough.

Any who...

So based on input here and some thinking I'm going to go with this and see how far I can get before the wheels come off:
  • Do an unusual attitude/spin training course. To do something different and get some additional safety training.
  • Work out a budgeted pot of money for flying. Maybe fly concentrated during the good times of the year and lay up during the winter even though it means getting rustier to start every year. Since the rental agreement will require me to get a CFI to re-checkout after a seasonal lay off it'll force my hand to get re-evaluated.
  • Try for the biennial since my medical is still good for a couple years. Worse case I don't fly anymore but at least I get it out of the way.
I'm sure once the boy arrives it'll all go to heck, but it's what I have for now.
 
steamee said:
Lots of widely varying viewpoints here and some good questions for me to tackle. So the other day I had this conversation:

Me: "So how long do you think I should keep flying?"
Wife: "What do you mean? Fly as long as you want."
Me: "You know there is risk. What if I crash?"
Wife: "Then don't crash."
Me: "!"
:rolleyes:

It's enough to make me wonder if it's not me whose "holdinging on too tight." (Yes I went there on an aviation board). :lol: It's not like I'm going to go on a mission to instill fear, but sometimes I wonder if she's not taking it seriously enough.

Any who...

So based on input here and some thinking I'm going to go with this and see how far I can get before the wheels come off:
  • Do an unusual attitude/spin training course. To do something different and get some additional safety training.
  • Work out a budgeted pot of money for flying. Maybe fly concentrated during the good times of the year and lay up during the winter even though it means getting rustier to start every year. Since the rental agreement will require me to get a CFI to re-checkout after a seasonal lay off it'll force my hand to get re-evaluated.
  • Try for the biennial since my medical is still good for a couple years. Worse case I don't fly anymore but at least I get it out of the way.
I'm sure once the boy arrives it'll all go to heck, but it's what I have for now.
Click to expand...


She'll have her child, as long as you have sufficient life insurance, whatever you do is fine, you've served your purpose...:D
 
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