(NA) STOP DOING THIS

Turn your phone on max volume and every time you hear the clipping noise, use the Fart App.
 
EdFred said:
Turn your phone on max volume and every time you hear the clipping noise, use the Fart App.
Click to expand...

Ahhhh... Life in a cube farm.

Ya know what I miss?

Answering machines.

The ones that certain people put inside a locked cabinet with the volume cranked WAY up so everyone in the office got to hear all of the messages as they were left (and again when they got played back).

One guy had a string of ex-wives. And, at least one of them would call to ream his bee-hind every once and a while. She would yell at his answering machine (which was locked in a cabinet with the volume at max) for half an hour - at least - saying many less than complementary things about him...

Good times. (or not.)
 
455 Bravo Uniform said:
When you clip your nails at home, save em, then just bring them to work as ammo for your rubber-band sling shot. Next time you hear "clip, clip, clip", launch a mortar into the offending cube. If you hear no further clipping sounds, hide the slingshot and ammo, they may be doing reconn. They'll eventually get the message?
Click to expand...

Or save their clippings, invite them to lunch, and when they're not looking, sprinkle them on their salad. Mmm, crunchy croutons and a little sumthin' else!
 
rolivi said:
And I do have a nephew who asked me to explain how those pager things WORKED. :)
Click to expand...

My girlfriend has a pager for work, which is kind of funny since she was a pre-teen back when they were in regular use. I still do a double-take when I see that thing laying around.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Ugh.... Step into my office Eman.
Have a seat in one of these chairs..
Choose wisely though. One is my fire'n chair and the other is my promotion chair.

HAHAH Just kidding. They are both my Fire'n chairs. GTFO!!

View attachment 47853



Edit: And yes, I do believe those chairs were likely stolen from a Holiday Inn
Click to expand...
If I lay on your desk will you draw me like one of your french girls?
 
I can hear @SixPapaCharlie now:

"Okay, look, you need to learn how to toe the MAGENTA line, or I'm going to pull the red handle on your arse. Got it?"
 
I cut my nails today at work with some 170 cutters.
 
We fired a guy that smelled bad. If he wasn't upright and breathing, you'd have assumed he was dead. For several days, in a hot and humid climate. Lot of drama, threats of lawyers, etc., but away he went. Nothing came of it, since he was also barking mad. . .
 
I shower a lot. I floss. I brush my teeth, and try to always wear fresh clean clothes.
I groom where appropriate (My wife's pillow) and eat non offensive foods unless at restaurants.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
I shower a lot. I floss. I brush my teeth, and try to always wear fresh clean clothes.
I groom where appropriate (My wife's pillow) and eat non offensive foods unless at restaurants.
Click to expand...

Whoa. No wonder you're management material! ;)
 
Well then I guess cleaning my ears with a qtip in my cubicle is out of the question ?
What about the ole polish hankercheif ?
 
At MY office everyone is working so hard they don't have time to notice minor annoyances.

I know that because I've had a terrible cough for years and no one has mentioned it.
 
I work in a cube farm and I will admit that I just started clipping my nails at work, but I have a good reason. You see there is this guy at work that really bothers me and everyone else. He drones on and on about being a pilot. He's all, "blah blah blah pilot blah blah airplane blah blah flew somewhere blah blah plastic monkey blah blah". Yesterday he is sitting in his cube and just yells out, "clear prop!" and proceeds to scoot his office chair to the copier while making airplane noises. Then he announces, "office traffic, experimental Echo Mike Alpha November is 3 cubicles to the North inbound for landing, office traffic". Seriously, what is that all about? So this morning I finally see a picture of his so called airplane and it is nothing but a clothes hamper with cardboard wings! Something is just not right with this dude!

So that's why I started clipping my nails at work. It really annoys him and helps keep him away from my cube. He won't come near me when he hears clip clip clip! However, he is still in the area and I need him gone. Anybody have any other ideas on how I can rid our office of this menace?
 
Sundancer said:
We fired a guy that smelled bad. If he wasn't upright and breathing, you'd have assumed he was dead. For several days, in a hot and humid climate. Lot of drama, threats of lawyers, etc., but away he went. Nothing came of it, since he was also barking mad. . .
Click to expand...
Until you get hit with a discrimination complaint.

I knew someone in college that had a medical condition that caused the same thing. He could shower twice a day and it wouldn't make a difference. Eventually the medical professionals found a cause.... it took a fair amount of time and money to get there.

Not pleasant, but it can easily become a discrimination complaint based on medical cause....
 
Yesterday he is sitting in his cube and just yells out, "clear prop!" and proceeds to scoot his office chair to the copier while making airplane noises. Then he announces, "office traffic, experimental Echo Mike Alpha November is 3 cubicles to the North inbound for landing, office traffic".

You work with Eman? ;)
 
Stingray Don said:
He got the position correct. He has a panel out of a 150 duck taped to his office chair. Not sure how he spins up the gyros though.
Click to expand...
At least he didn't ask for other traffic to advise. My guess is there are a lot of people buzzing that copier and not using radios.

Did he "take the active" copier?
 
i was referencing this "grievance" to a friend and the response was this:

"First World Problem"
 
What drives me nuts in a cube farm is guys that type at what must be 100 WPM. Tappa ta tappa ta tappa ta. I think to myself, man is that guy copying War and Peace? Can't complain though because it's like their job. So I just put on my headphones. I'm glad I never had to sit in a steno pool.
 
wsuffa said:
Until you get hit with a discrimination complaint.

I knew someone in college that had a medical condition that caused the same thing. He could shower twice a day and it wouldn't make a difference. Eventually the medical professionals found a cause.... it took a fair amount of time and money to get there.

Not pleasant, but it can easily become a discrimination complaint based on medical cause....
Click to expand...
We didn't worry too much - EEO actually entertains a very small percentage of complaints, and of those, they look for a pattern of discrimination, which we didn't have. His best option was a hungry lawyer taking it on contingency. And he was eccentric to the point of crazy, so may have discouraged representation.
 
Stingray Don said:
So that's why I started clipping my nails at work. It really annoys him and helps keep him away from my cube. He won't come near me when he hears clip clip clip! However, he is still in the area and I need him gone. Anybody have any other ideas on how I can rid our office of this menace?
Click to expand...

Send him to NYC. Maybe he can get arrested. Make sure to advise him to never ride on a subway car that doesn't have a MTA Police Officer in it...
-e90c611522a2197e.jpg
 
One more reason to fly yourself.

Several times I've seen folks clipping nails on commercial flights (a couple of those in the F cabin), and I recall one person picking the lint out between their toes (and then doing same with naval). EWE.

I still think the person eating really smelly kimchee as their take-on meal was worse.
 
eman1200 said:
mother flippin people at work who thinks it's acceptable to CLIP their F***ING nails CLIP CLIP CLIP CLIP CLIP CLIP CLIP
It's freakin disgusting and mother freakin ANNOYING so flippin STOP IT MO FO's!!!!!!!!!

Of course in today's world you can't say anything because it'll be 'discrimination'. I have to figure out a way to get these people to stop. I'm thinking of walking over to the persons desk the next time they start clipping their nails and start trimming my nose hair in their cube.
Click to expand...
Personal grooming should be kept personal and not done in public space. Another thing that drives me bat sit are the people with long hair that are forever fluffing it in a restaurant. I feel like dumping my meal and the bill on their lap.
 
silver-eagle said:
that drives me bat sit are the people with long hair that are forever fluffing it in a restaurant. I feel like dumping my meal and the bill on their lap.
Click to expand...

And dudes who won't remove their friggin' ball cap. Mc Dees ok, but c'mon, it's a sit down restaurant. Real prevalent here in the South.
 
silver-eagle said:
Personal grooming should be kept personal and not done in public space. Another thing that drives me bat sit are the people with long hair that are forever fluffing it in a restaurant. I feel like dumping my meal and the bill on their lap.
Click to expand...
How about gals that repeatedly straighten thei bras in restaurants?
 
mscard88 said:
And dudes who won't remove their friggin' ball cap. Mc Dees ok, but c'mon, it's a sit down restaurant. Real prevalent here in the South.
Click to expand...

In my case, wearing the cap is the lesser of two evils. If I've been wearing a cap, my hair will be a freakin' train wreck. I'm not sure which would be more offensive.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top