Solution (at least seemingly so):
The other day the home warranty company sent out a tech after the air conditioner quit working again. This tech determined conclusively that the evaporator coil (inside) and the expansion valve (or whatever you call it on these setups - the part that regulates the difference between the high side and the low side) are both bad. He then said those are "expensive parts" and when that happens, they just offer a "significant discount" on a new unit. Fine, I'll listen to your dog and pony show, but they need to send a guy out to talk about this to me. Why can't I talk about it the phone? No idea.
I had an appointment at 9 AM this morning with the home warranty guy who was supposed to price me a new system. At 9:40, he hadn't shown up yet, so I call up and ask where he is. "Oh, he can still come to see you sometime today." "No, I had an appointment for 9 AM. Sometime today isn't good enough, where is he? I need to get to work." "I'll have him call you immediately." So 5 minutes later he calls, and says he can be here in 40 minutes. He realizes I'm agitated (mostly because I explain that I'm extremely agitated), and we start talking pricing over the phone (which is what I wanted to do in the first place earlier this week).
The home warranty caps out at $2k worth of repairs, which this issue easily falls into. So I'm figuring they'll offer at least $2k off a new system, and should offer a bit more (the technician wasn't aware of the specific numbers, hence why I had to talk to a service adviser). Nope. $1,000 if you just replace the outdoor condenser, and $1,500 if you replace the condenser and air handler. So basically, they offer THEMSELVES a great discount on not having to fulfill the warranty that they've been paid for if I go with a new system. I didn't bother pointing out the faulty math involved here, but did point out my own knowledge of air conditioning from the automotive world, and that having looked at the system, this looks like a painfully easy process compared to the crap I had to do on Jaguars back around the turn of the century.
Me: "So the home warranty will cover fixing the two items that are actually broken?"
SA: "That's right. But your system is 8 years old, and typically these only last 15 years so you're really at the point where fixing it doesn't make sense."
Me: "Just fix what's broken. I'm not buying a new system."
At least he didn't argue with me. But, I am not impressed with their tactics, nor with the fact that I had to stay home for 2.5 hours this morning to ultimately have a 10 minute phone call, which I could (and should have) had days ago with the same end result.
Regardless, parts are supposed to be ordered today, fixed in 1-2 weeks. Sigh.