My father-in-law flipped out at me for taking my wife up during an Airmet Tango

Norman said:
I would opine that it's his mind set based on his time in heavy aircraft and no recent experience in small ones. You are not likely to change his mind so the course of action I would take is to not discuss flights with him other than telling him where the two of you went. His mind appears to be closed to opinions he differs with. If your wife feels safe flying with you your FIL's input is of no significance. She needs to stop asking for his advice. Kids need advice, but once they are grown up they should be left to make decisions, right or wrong, on their own. Daddy needs to zip his lip.

My FIL was the controlling sort. His daughter eventually told him to F.O.
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Very well said and I think you're spot on. Thank you.
 
My check ride had a different but kinda similar story. The DPE flew for delta and was also one of their instructors. The day of my check ride it was windy, rain and over cast. The airport I had to fly to was in the mountains. That morning I check all the weather I could find and got a briefing, I had it down. The ceiling was plenty high and I knew if I couldn't make it I would have no problem returning.
I'm flying to the airport and he calls me on the phone (blue toothed to my head set) and says we should probably cancel. I reply I'm on the way and will be there in 5 minutes. He hadn't check the weather just look out his door. There was a long pause then he said, call me when you get here.
After all the paper work and checks he immediately goes to weather and grills me pretty good. I thought to myself, damn why is he going so deep into that subject. I knew weather pretty well because it always was interesting to me.
When all was done and I had passed, the first thing he said was that he had planned to fail me within the first 15 minutes because "at the time" he thought I was irresponsible and using poor judgment to be flying in that weather, but after seeing my due diligence with weather and making a good call on it he knew the rest of the check ride was going to be good.
I left at 8:30 in the am got back at 4:30 (20 min flight each way) didn't take any breaks, only had a candy bar and soda. Long day to say the least, but it was actually pretty fun.
 
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About your fil, I agree with norm and a few others. Don't discuss future flights unless you really are unsure and need advise, keep communications open and friendly and enjoy flying with the family.
 
I don't believe the father-in-law's concerns have much to do with airplanes, single engine or other, private pilots or turbulence. I believe he is simply being a dad with a daughter. We parents would like to think that once we launch them in to adulthood we would be relieved of that fear first noticed late on her first night home when we went into her room to make sure she was still breathing. Doesn't seem to work out that way.

I am not Ann Landers and I never played her on television, but as a father of both an adult son and daughter, I would recommend that the OP simply remind FIL that he loves his daughter as much as FIL does and that he will protect her with his life and beyond. And remind him often. Then continue to make flying and all decisions in line with that commitment. And maybe cut the old man some slack for being a dad; treat him as an equal in loving his daughter rather than seeking to be treated as an equal as a pilot.
 
nauga said:
Single engine, MOVLAS recovery, and the autodog is TU again.

Nauga,
on a dark and stormy night
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Trade single engine for no 4- wire, add a thunderstorm, and that sounds like my first Comptuex.
 
Your wife didn't like your answer and called her father for a second opinion? Then he felt the need to text you his thoughts on it?

Kick the wife out and she can go back and live with her dad. Call her dad up and tell him the good news and tell him next time call you like an adult and not be such a ninny. Then go fly in some Tango, Sierra and Zulu...
 
This has nothing to do with aviation...its about being the ALPHA!

Your wife grew up with a dad around (thankfully). He was the Alpha. He was confident, made decisions, held her accountable, didn't hurt her, actions over words, etc. Now you are in her life. She wants and needs you to be the ALPHA now. When women sense you're not Alpha they will test you (they don't even realize it) to see if it's in you. They are hardwired to do this and damn are they good at it.

Alphas don't seek approval. They are confident and lead. They don't "talk" their way there, they just do it.

If I told my 9yo daughter there will be turbulence she will now feel insecure, become increasingly anxious and beg to not go. However, if i did as much research as you did and then said lets go flying she will be gung ho to hop in the plane with us. If we then hit some turbulence and make a decision to abort she have witnessed confidence and leadership and decision making. Why would it be any different for your wife...unless she's a pilot and understands the AIRMET?

Kid with your wife. Lets say she's planning a important event for her family or friend. Then ask her what she'd think if you asked your mom to just jump in and help plan it. Most women don't want your mom in their space. Don't let her answer, just walk away and let her think about.

He'll, I'm not even a pilot yet and it's so damn cool! Sucks that her dad with all that aviation time just isn't into it anymore and can't be more supportive of someone starting out, teach you all kinds of awesome stuff and maybe see his grandkid fly one day. Hopefully being USAF isn't the issue. But then again I'm Navy so I have no clue what these AF people are doing :)
 
Sinistar said:
This has nothing to do with aviation...its about being the ALPHA!

Your wife grew up with a dad around (thankfully). He was the Alpha. He was confident, made decisions, held her accountable, didn't hurt her, actions over words, etc. Now you are in her life. She wants and needs you to be the ALPHA now. When women sense you're not Alpha they will test you (they don't even realize it) to see if it's in you. They are hardwired to do this and damn are they good at it.

Alphas don't seek approval. They are confident and lead. They don't "talk" their way there, they just do it.

If I told my 9yo daughter there will be turbulence she will now feel insecure, become increasingly anxious and beg to not go. However, if i did as much research as you did and then said lets go flying she will be gung ho to hop in the plane with us. If we then hit some turbulence and make a decision to abort she have witnessed confidence and leadership and decision making. Why would it be any different for your wife...unless she's a pilot and understands the AIRMET?

Kid with your wife. Lets say she's planning a important event for her family or friend. Then ask her what she'd think if you asked your mom to just jump in and help plan it. Most women don't want your mom in their space. Don't let her answer, just walk away and let her think about.

He'll, I'm not even a pilot yet and it's so damn cool! Sucks that her dad with all that aviation time just isn't into it anymore and can't be more supportive of someone starting out, teach you all kinds of awesome stuff and maybe see his grandkid fly one day. Hopefully being USAF isn't the issue. But then again I'm Navy so I have no clue what these AF people are doing :)
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One detail I forgot about until now is that my wife was actually the first one to mention turbulence. She has a spent a ton of time flying commercial since she grew up being able to non-rev and she's picked up on the fact that when it's windy out that it often means turbulence. She check the weather that morning on her Weather Channel app and saw that it was suppose to be a windy day. She asked me if there would be turbulence and it went from there.
 
MassPilot said:
One detail I forgot about until now is that my wife was actually the first one to mention turbulence. She has a spent a ton of time flying commercial since she grew up being able to non-rev and she's picked up on the fact that when it's windy out that it often means turbulence. She check the weather that morning on her Weather Channel app and saw that it was suppose to be a windy day. She asked me if there would be turbulence and it went from there.
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So, next time pull out the cable on flight day? "Sorry honey, I'll have to call the cable company...it was okay yesterday..hmm."
 
An honest question - is there clear guidance out there for how an airmet Tango should factor into your decision-making?

For light turb, I just go. For moderate, depends on mission and passengers (and whether I'm VFR).
 
I think I'm going to print this thread out and sell it on Amazon.com as a Marriage Counseling text. One problem is listing all the contributors as authors:D OTOH, since nobody use their real names, I probably could skip that.

Cheers
 
Just tell the FIL that you are going to buy a plane and start aerobatics......with your wife in the back seat....
 
Good thread but I'm amazed how much ass.u.ming is going on here....Op is heading for Divorce? geez. I say do the best you can to patch up the relationship with your FIL if you can't
then at least you tried. Life is too short to hold grudges. Hopefully things will go back to normal with you and your FIL.
 
MassPilot said:
Yea he's never seemed too think much of GA and private pilots.
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I'm a little concerned about those types when ATC gets taken over by the airlines and how it will affect GA

MassPilot said:
I actually found those comments funny (I have a dirty sense of humor). I just don't see how you anything I've said can be interpreted as my marriage running into trouble.
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Sundancer said:
Then he isn't qualified to have an opinion. You might retort to that effect, and tell him about your serious concerns about his judgment, considering he can draw broad conclusions about your decision making, based on a topic he has only shallow knowledge of.
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We do the same thing here at POA....Especially when an initial report of an Airplane accident happens.

Fearless Tower said:
Maybe if something posts his name and contact info, he'll join POA and post to the thread to present his side of the story?
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I would love to hear his side of the story as well, like my mother use to always say: "There is his/her side...then the other side...and then there is the truth!

danhagan said:
Remember, for most of us here, this is our HOBBY. If you're a dive master or golf pro, you probably won't spend your off time diving or golfing ... hell, even if you were a porno star, you probably aren't going to ... oh never mind ....:confused::confused:
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Ahhhh....man there goes that fantasy..."Poof" j/k
 
MassPilot said:
...she asked me if there would be turbulence and it went from there.
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You: "I'm ten steps ahead of ya babe, already checked all the weather, we'll be fine. Did you make the sandwiches?"

That should quickly reassure her and immediately switch the topic back to social, fun and not serious.

Mass Pilot is just fine, no marriage doom or gloom here. Just learning another step along the way of understanding women.
 
Sinistar said:
Just learning another step along the way of understanding women.
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If you can explain women, you can mint your own money. No one else has ever been able to do such a feat. Including women....

Tim
 
jordane93 said:
That's sad. At my regional there are quite a few captains and FOs that still fly GA. Some are still active instructors and own their own aircraft. They all have a civilian background FWIW. Even some of the pilots I've met when I jumpseat on legacies fly a little bit of GA.
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That probably has something to do with it. They likely have at least several hundred hours in light singles and twins working towards an airline job. The military guys (from what I know) spend a bare minimum amount of time in a 172 before moving up.
 
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