My mood has been all over the place as a person i loved tried to commit suicide and it gave me flashbacks of when i found my former love dead. i recognize my behavior has been erratic. I came here because i want to know if i need to see a HIMS psychiatrist and if this condition is even eligible. I know the meds aren’t but talking with a therapist has helped.
Thank you and i am not feeling great at all therefore i took FMLA
I'm not a doc and not trying to diagnose you, just want to make a suggestion. Get a complete physical exam, ask for hormone panel, thyroid including free T3, sex hormones for whatever gender you are, liver enzymes, inflammation markers, vitamin D, vitamin B12, folate, iron, as a minimum. Correct any deficiencies and get them mid range, not just grazing the lower border.
Next, if the discovery of your former love was recent (within two years) and that was the first beginning of your mood symptoms there is a chance you are suffering a situational trauma. You've had two psychiatrists diagnose you with a non specific mood disorder, this is not good for medical certification and if you don't report this on you next medical you will have lied. Paying cash to avoid having to report MIGHT be okay if you're getting marriage counseling or other life adjustment therapy from a counselor, but not if you have been getting treatment for a mood disorder. Even if you don't have one there is a diagnosis in the record, even if it didn't make it as far as insurance databases.
I'm saying that it would be wise to take Mike's advice and begin considering an alternative career.
Having said all this, I cannot, nor can anyone here except Dr. Lou or Dr. Chien tell you whether this can be dealt with and keep your medical with the FAA. Yes possibly HIMS testing would be required but right now you are in a crisis point. The good news is you recognized it and took leave to deal with it. You also have identified that talk therapy is helpful. But you are still in the crisis and the important thing as the others have said is to get the help you need and take care of yourself first.
You are not wrong to come here to ask SGOTI because this is actually one of the best places to answer the question of the medical certification with the FAA. The answer is that one of the qualified AMEs here would need to look at the entirety of your history. I understand your anxiety about your career is a concern and you are wanting to address it simultaneously with the emotional issues because it all interrelates. Not to mention keeping the money coming to pay for whatever help you get. But in active crisis a person has limited energy and must focus on healing first.
One step at a time. You will get through this.