ScottM
Taxi to Parking
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iBazinga!
Yesterday mom could no longer keep the fight going. She passed at 6:45pm EST. I was holding her hand when she went, it was peaceful and easy.
She had been fighting cancer for a little over three years. In September of 2003 she was diagnosed with a lung cancer and in November she had a lobectomy, half of her lung removed. Since her cancer had been a stage 1a tumor she actually had a chance for a cure. But two years later that was not to be the outcome as the cancer had returned in the other lung.
No longer a candidate for surgery she underwent chemo with some radiation to which she responded well. But this last fall the cancer started to grow again. Our first indication was a spinal fracture from cancer getting into the bones. She under went a spinal fusion but was still in a lot of pain as she then started radiation. From that surgery on she never quit recovered her strength and was too weak for the chemo.
In November things really went down hill. She woke up blind in one eye, she had trouble thinking which we thought were from her being over prescribed pain killers. But it turns out she had had a stroke. Later in December things kept getting worse and when we brought her to the hospital it was because she had a minor heart attack.
She was back and forth between the hospital and the nursing home for the next several weeks. But in January a miracle seemed to happen. Her brain snapped back into gear, she could see better and think clearly. She regained strength and against all odds she was released from the nursing home.
But it was not to last. Early last week she again started having trouble. First it was her breathing, then her strength, she stopped talking on the phone. On last Sunday when I spoke to her she could only tell me she was not strong enough to talk and then on Monday the massive heart attack.
I got the call Monday to come down ASAP and I managed to get what I think was the only on-time departure from O'Hare on Monday. I saw her at midnight and she knew who I was. On Tuesday it was obvious that she was not any better. She spoke little due to the meds but she was happy we were there.
She slowing drifted away throughout the day due to heart failure. A life long smoker she was always afraid of cancer and the painful death of suffocation that she was going to face. Paradoxically the anxiety of that death from smoking only made her smoke more. But after the cancer she had finally given up the smoking. For the first time in my life I no longer had to hold my breathe to kiss her, the smell of the smoke being too disgusting to me. But as she died from heart failure it was more peaceful death than what she was facing from the cancer. She had been told on Friday no chemo and the clock was running out. To make matters worse the cancer had spread to more areas.
Now we start the planning the funeral process. Not my first, unfortunately, so I am somewhat familiar with the things to do. I have been finding a couple of notes from my mom to me. I always joked I was going to burying her in a pink tafata dress. Her not being a dress wearer nor a lover of pink, she would protest and we would laugh. Well in her official burial direction, which we looked at last night, she actually wrote "No pink dress" in the clothes section. I got a smile on an otherwise sad day.
Thanks for thinking of her.
Scott
She had been fighting cancer for a little over three years. In September of 2003 she was diagnosed with a lung cancer and in November she had a lobectomy, half of her lung removed. Since her cancer had been a stage 1a tumor she actually had a chance for a cure. But two years later that was not to be the outcome as the cancer had returned in the other lung.
No longer a candidate for surgery she underwent chemo with some radiation to which she responded well. But this last fall the cancer started to grow again. Our first indication was a spinal fracture from cancer getting into the bones. She under went a spinal fusion but was still in a lot of pain as she then started radiation. From that surgery on she never quit recovered her strength and was too weak for the chemo.
In November things really went down hill. She woke up blind in one eye, she had trouble thinking which we thought were from her being over prescribed pain killers. But it turns out she had had a stroke. Later in December things kept getting worse and when we brought her to the hospital it was because she had a minor heart attack.
She was back and forth between the hospital and the nursing home for the next several weeks. But in January a miracle seemed to happen. Her brain snapped back into gear, she could see better and think clearly. She regained strength and against all odds she was released from the nursing home.
But it was not to last. Early last week she again started having trouble. First it was her breathing, then her strength, she stopped talking on the phone. On last Sunday when I spoke to her she could only tell me she was not strong enough to talk and then on Monday the massive heart attack.
I got the call Monday to come down ASAP and I managed to get what I think was the only on-time departure from O'Hare on Monday. I saw her at midnight and she knew who I was. On Tuesday it was obvious that she was not any better. She spoke little due to the meds but she was happy we were there.
She slowing drifted away throughout the day due to heart failure. A life long smoker she was always afraid of cancer and the painful death of suffocation that she was going to face. Paradoxically the anxiety of that death from smoking only made her smoke more. But after the cancer she had finally given up the smoking. For the first time in my life I no longer had to hold my breathe to kiss her, the smell of the smoke being too disgusting to me. But as she died from heart failure it was more peaceful death than what she was facing from the cancer. She had been told on Friday no chemo and the clock was running out. To make matters worse the cancer had spread to more areas.
Now we start the planning the funeral process. Not my first, unfortunately, so I am somewhat familiar with the things to do. I have been finding a couple of notes from my mom to me. I always joked I was going to burying her in a pink tafata dress. Her not being a dress wearer nor a lover of pink, she would protest and we would laugh. Well in her official burial direction, which we looked at last night, she actually wrote "No pink dress" in the clothes section. I got a smile on an otherwise sad day.
Thanks for thinking of her.
Scott
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