By not calling me she’s not only panicked me
It's good she hangs on to her iPhone... add her to your "track my friends" and you'll know where she is. (If you don't have an iPhone, get a cheap used one, maybe $50; I don't think it even needs service for track my friends to work...) If it's time, consider the "help I've fallen and I can't get up" fob on her wrist or around her neck... that's saved the life of our uncle several times (rolled off the bed, got his head stuck between the bed and the wall, almost suffocated while pressing the button... paramedics got there just in time).
My Mom and Dad made it to 94 and 91, I was the designated hitter... Dad had CHF, Mom Alzheimer's. My uncle made it to 95 before his heart gave out. I got them trained to accept a one to two minute call every morning, "How'd you sleep? Need anything?" as I'm 120 miles away. When we traveled overseas, we got a service to make the calls. The better services try to have the same person call each day, so they can recognize if something is slightly off... at that age, dehydration, missing a pill, or accidentally taking pills twice, or a UTI can really knock them for a loop, and it's evident in a phone conversation. Then you can call in more help.
Anyway, that worked for me... and I often discovered things in those short calls they'd never have called to tell me, but that I needed to know.
A friend's great uncle had memory issues, but he'd been driving himself to the Y downtown every morning for decades. Then one morning, there was a detour. He was lost for 8 hours. He'd call to ask for help, but then forget, and keep driving... not sit still. Finally, he ran out of gas, and the cops found him. His wife didn't want to "compromise" him by using track my friends... instead, he stopped going to the Y. They easily could have afforded Uber, or even the children's version of Uber that provides supervision, or the paratransit bus. But wife felt that her husband's infirmity was embarrassing, and chose to hide it rather than help him. Ah well.
So... best wishes Ted. Don't know if my experiences will help, but they are my experiences. Keeping folks in their home as long as possible is very important. Memory care didn't bother my Mom much... My Dad just threw in the towel and gave up; I'd do that part differently, even though he made at home care very difficult. Long story.
Paul
