Marriage Checklist for Pilots

Oops I forgot to mention in my previous post.

Circumstances in life has a way of changing people as well for better or worse so just because you get the questions out of the way, it doesn't mean that they won't change. That also affects marriages as well.
 
EdFred said:
Would you liquidate 50% of your assets go to Vegas and bet it on red or black?
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Lachlan said:
No. I've never been to Las Vegas and have zero interest in ever going. That said, if you actually like the person you marry, and get to know them BEFORE you decide they're the one for you, it's not a gamble at all. It's a sure thing, as sure as the sun coming up, water being wet, and paying taxes. Rush into marriage "just because" and you'll get a surprise. Think that the other person is almost perfect, but once they change a little bit you'll have the perfect partner, well, there's another surprise. My parents will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary on June 22nd, and they are as happy now as they've ever been. They may have wanted to run away from the 5 of us kids at times, but they would have surely done that together, too. Marriage is for adults, not juveniles that don't know what they're doing. My two best buddies growing up have both been married and divorced, (one of them divorced twice!) and they always ask me how I do it. I just refer to my wife and ask them how hard they think it is for us, and they always tell me I've got it soooooooo easy, I don't know what it's like, etc, and I just laugh. I told them both, long before they proposed, that their mates weren't the right ones for them. Funny, the two divorced buddies told each other that about their exes, too. Don't act like a jack knife and you'll have a happy marriage. It's bigger than both of you; it's something that you're a part of, a deal that you made. Why make a deal you don't intend to keep? Why make a deal with someone you don't trust? Be smart, be honest, and be committed. It's that easy. My wife is my absolute, number one, second to none, best friend. Why in God's name would I EVER want to hurt her for any reason? Sadly, that's NOT as common a situation as it should be. It's only about half.
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Seen waaaay too many people change VASTLY (both sexes) to say its not a gamble. And these are people Ive known a long time and some of them dated for a decade before getting married. After the vows things changed. No one stays the same forever and if they change enough its not going to last.
 
EdFred said:
Seen waaaay too many people change VASTLY (both sexes) to say its not a gamble. And these are people Ive known a long time and some of them dated for a decade before getting married. After the vows things changed. No one stays the same forever and if they change enough its not going to last.
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If you don’t grow as a person then you’re destined for an unsatisfying life. Successful marriages include people who choose to grow the marriage, and each other. If you want to be self-centered then don’t get married. I’ve noticed that most people who get divorced do it more than once. That speaks volumes.
 
Lachlan said:
If you don’t grow as a person then you’re destined for an unsatisfying life. Successful marriages include people who choose to grow the marriage, and each other. If you want to be self-centered then don’t get married. I’ve noticed that most people who get divorced do it more than once. That speaks volumes.
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I’ve got a brother who is a three time loser. Of course, it was always HER fault.
 
Lachlan said:
If you don’t grow as a person then you’re destined for an unsatisfying life. Successful marriages include people who choose to grow the marriage, and each other. If you want to be self-centered then don’t get married. I’ve noticed that most people who get divorced do it more than once. That speaks volumes.
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Yep could not agree more!! I starting dating my wife when I was 17 and we married when I was 20. We have been married 19 years now and have both changed dramatically in that time. As long as both parties in the relationship are willing to put forth the effort it will work. The moment one decides it isn’t worth the effort everything is over.
 
Lachlan said:
This is why 50% of all marriages end in engine failure. If you don’t know a lot more than 13 things about the person you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with then you won’t make it past “Line up and wait.”
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For first marriages, that number is actually a bit lower, more in the 40% range. The 10% difference is made up by the serial offenders who make it to 3 and 5 spouses without much effort. Once you drill down further in the numbers, a high percentage of marriages entered below the age of 20 end in divorce and there is a fair number of marriages of convenience for a variety of reasons. So if you are in the broad 'sweet spot' between 25 and 35 for a first marriage and some other conditions are met (similar educational attainment, economic stability), your risk of a marriage ending in divorce is lower than the often quoted 50 percent.
 
If someone is thinking about getting married without knowing everything on that idiotic list then someone is operating with less than a full deck. Then again that must include a lot of someones, giving the high divorce rate. I still think that some sort of commonality outside of child rearing is essential for a successful marriage. Too many couples just don't have that.
 
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