Male/Female Word Definitions

[ScottM]

Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.</ FONT>

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female..... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

 

[Ghery]

There's a lot of truth in that list.

 

[Areeda]

More hints for better understanding between the sexes:

The Woman's Guide to What the Man is Really Saying

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"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call you sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then we can get down to business

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
​

(while shopping) "I don't think that blouse goes with those shoes = I'm gay
​

The Men's Guide to what the Woman really mean​

You want = You want

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I'm Embarassed

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I a little fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Yes = No | No = No | Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until
he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that
we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I
need to look at a few new pocket books,and those pink sheets would
look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

​

 

[Ghery]

More hints for better understanding between the sexes:


The Woman's Guide to What the Man is Really Saying

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The Men's Guide to what the Woman really mean​

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Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Written as proof that you are a married man. Oh, that all is so true.

 

[NC Pilot]

Man

I'm ready = Keys in hand walking out the door.

Woman

I'm ready = Of course I'm ready right now! Just as soon as I wash my face, apply make up, pee, dress, find the right shoes, do my hair, pee, change because I can't find both perfect shoes, put on my gun, pee, change the color of my lipstick because it doesn't match my shoes now, find my purse, move all the contents from one purse to another, pee, find coat, wake husband up to leave.

 

[Bill]

I'm ready = Of course I'm ready right now! Just as soon as I wash my face, apply make up, pee, dress, find the right shoes, do my hair, pee, change because I can't find both perfect shoes, put on my gun, pee, change the color of my lipstick because it doesn't match my shoes now, find my purse, move all the contents from one purse to another, pee, find coat, wake husband up to leave.

I'm totally there, except for the gun part.

 

[wsuffa]

Man

I'm ready = Keys in hand walking out the door.

Woman

I'm ready = Of course I'm ready right now! Just as soon as I wash my face, apply make up, pee, dress, find the right shoes, do my hair, pee, change because I can't find both perfect shoes, put on my gun, pee, change the color of my lipstick because it doesn't match my shoes now, find my purse, move all the contents from one purse to another, pee, find coat, wake husband up to leave.

And just when Man sits down at the computer and gets engaged in something, it's "I thought you were ready"....