Longest thread attempt

Clark1961 said:
Now that looks good!

I went back to the BBQ place, Piggin Out, for lunch today - turkey sandwhich platter. Postprandial somnolence followed...
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Huh? Not sure I am smart enough to decode those words. lol

David
 
flhrci said:
Thanks for dumbing it down for us. :D

David
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When I went for the sampler platter I caught hell for "meat coma" so I tried to placate the critics this time...

That turkey sandwich sure was good...moist with a little smoke...maybe next time I'll add some cheese, maybe Swiss or gouda...
 
Italian sausage ,meet balls no pasta. Go figure.
 
The thing this thread has on the "next word" thread is diversity...

Most embarrassing moment Go!
 
ok sure
so well my God, I have so many

There is a club in downtown Dallas called Lizard Lounge
When I was young I had a dot matrix printer. It was a POS and the ink smeared easily

While learning to use MS Paint, I had this Genius idea
I called my friend and said lets go to lizard lounge I have an idea.

Under 18 so cover was like 25 bucks and big X on the back of our hands.

I said lets look at all the 21 year olds and see what stamp they have on their hands (guess where this is going)

we did this 4-5 times until we recognized the stamps on their hands were rotating. They had about 5 different stamps they used for the 21 and up crowd

I still recall
"PUMP"
"PHAT"
"ERECT"

and a couple others in big bold letters.

I grab my printer and go to my friends apartment (I lived w/ mom and dad still)
We pull up MS Paint and find the closest font, Edit -> image -> reverse

Ctrl-P

print it out

Lick my hand, place the printed word on the back of my hand, wait a few seconds, remove

HOLY LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It worked!

We didn't know what stamp would be used on a given night so we printed out copies of each one we had seen for each of us and shoved them in our pockets

Now I have a friend ballzier than me.
I paid cover and got my X and went to the restroom to wash it off.

He waited outside to see people leaving to see what stamp they had
He saw someone and saw the stamp and put on and walked right in (no cover for him)

I wash my X off he shows me it worked, me and my buds duck into a corner and "stamp ourselves"

Here is where the problem starts

We can now drink in this club. And drink we do.
We are young sucky aholes that smell like Joop and Drakkar and whatever the 90s version of a hipster is

fortunately I am freaking cute (this is a fact that cannot be disputed) and this comes into play later

I see a girl upstairs and decide imma go get that

I am trashed

I dance my way up the stairs, and you know how when it is dark and you walk upstairs and you think their might be one more step so that last one is awkward because there is no step there????

That is when I began to fall

Down a 180 curving staircase that leads from the dance floor to another dance floor on the balcony. tumble tumble tumble *CRACK*

I am drunk, on the middle of the dance floor at a packed club having just fallen down a staircase and broke my foot.

I am in extreme pain but also hammered.

I drag myself like a freaking seal to a bench in the corner and sit for a minute regaining my composure

I wave my friends over and say "I'm hurt we have to leave"

"No man, we are 21 tonight we are closing this place down"

crap they disappear and I am stuck alone on this bench drunk with a broken foot alone.

remember I am super cute

Here comes this girl (not my type at all but equipped with breasts so...)
She sits next to me.

"want to dance?"

Now I got game

"naw, let's just chill here. I been dancin all night long"

within like 20 seconds we are making out and the whole time I am trying to figure out how I am going to hook up with this person when I cannot walk, I came in my friends car and I have no control over my future.

I start to hatch a genius plan when my friends come back going "They must be lesbians. Let's ditch this place, grab some Taco Cabana, and head home"

Now I am the one trying to hook up and they are being lame.

So I tell the girl
1. I gotta go
2. I cannot walk

I explain to my buddies and arms around their shoulders they carry me out.
Now I look like a drunk idiot being carried out of the club

I said let's just go back to your apartment and crash

Friend 1 says "No man you aren't crashing at our place we are taking you home"

A-holes drive me back to my parents house and dump me at the curb by my mailbox.

I cant walk so I again like a seal carry myself up to my (parents) front door and essentially sneak in. I manage to get upstairs and get in bed.

The next day I wake up and cant walk so I stay in bed. After awhile mom comes up and says get up.

I explain that I slept on my foot funny and it hurts

It is blue and looks funky so she takes me to the dr.
foot is broken and nobody quite understands how it happened and why I waited so long because if injured it enough for it to be this black and blue the injury had to have happened many hours before.

I played dumb and nobod ever dug deeper but after this was over I felt like a total siht bag for scheaming to get us drunk, falling down the stairs at a club in front of everyone, ignoring that to try and hook up with a girl, getting dumped in my front yard by my "friends" and pretending none of it happened to my mom and a dr. that clearly knew I was hiding some B.S

At any rate, this is what I have always thought of as the most embarrassing situation in my life. Mostly laying on that dance floor with everyone dancing around me. That was awkward.

But at least I got to make out with a chick and my buddies didn't
 
After all that your most embarrassing moment is a broken foot? Lame dude.

Okay, I was at a show in Vegas and got pulled up on stage. My girl proceeded to get drunk...eventually we made it back to the suite. Somehow in the middle of the night my girl decides to take out her contacts in my bathroom (huge suite - it had 4 bathrooms) and later I decide I'm dehydrated....well, I drank her contacts...and bumped my head getting back in bed and bled all over.

Okay, drinking my girl's contacts isn't more embarrassing than a kid breaking his foot...but it was weird.
 
Clark1961 said:
After all that your most embarrassing moment is a broken foot? Lame dude.

Okay, I was at a show in Vegas and got pulled up on stage. My girl proceeded to get drunk...eventually we made it back to the suite. Somehow in the middle of the night my girl decides to take out her contacts in my bathroom (huge suite - it had 4 bathrooms) and later I decide I'm dehydrated....well, I drank her contacts...and bumped my head getting back in bed and bled all over.

Okay, drinking my girl's contacts isn't more embarrassing than a kid breaking his foot...but it was weird.
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I am sad I typed so much
you drank her contacts!!!!!!!!!!

Effing hysterical!
 
Falling in my folk's swimming pool on Christmas morning with full clothes and winter coat. Sisters haven't stopped laughing yet, and the folks haven't had the house with the pool for at least ten years now.
 
denverpilot said:
Falling in my folk's swimming pool on Christmas morning with full clothes and winter coat. Sisters haven't stopped laughing yet, and the folks haven't had the house with the pool for at least ten years now.
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I hope there is a photo of this
 
If you could only have one Alcoholic Beverage for the rest of your life what would it be?

Sam Adams
 
See now there's no stopping this thread.
Everyone out of the way!!!
 
Anyone make a killing in the stocks market this week?
 
I've been getting killed every day for the past nine months on restricted stock...
 
One day I'd like to get into stocks...under the right mentorship. It seems like a lot to learn to do it right.
 
Rather have a couple of bourbons on the rocks.
 
the longest thread will either be about low wing vs. high wing or global warming.
 
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