I own two airplanes. They are both based at MYF. I absolutely hate having to drive to SEE from Downtown, where I live, and I dislike the awful instrument and visual approaches even more. SEE has terrible approaches, tons of terrain (literally a mountain on the final to 27R) and the flight training gets even more intense there than MYF. The only cool thing are the overpriced hangar houses.
If you are instrument rated, MYF is a no brainer. It has matching ILS and RNAV approaches with 250' DHs and predictable winds. The difference in hangar pricing is MAYBE $100 a month. Far fewer sweltering summer days, and you're nearly never going to miss on the approach there. Hangar availability isn't great at either.
Airspace is not an issue at either airport, as long as you are not a an ATC chicken and get FF, which you get on the ground at both. Flying out of MYF gets you a Class B clearance 99% of the time by the time you get to the shore, and sometimes instantly (usually weekends, holidays, early and late). SEE on a right downwind gets you a Class B clearance 99.5% of the time to steer you towards OCN.
From where you are planning to live, you'd literally drive right past MYF to get to SEE.
SEE is definitely going to be cheaper and better chance of getting a hangar, although the environment at either MYF or SEE is not as harsh as people might think. An airplane can doo ok just fine tied down in San Diego IF you take care of it and fly it regularly.
Outdoor tie downs at MYF are as expensive as hangars are in other parts of the country.
The difference in price between MYF and SEE for a hangar is negligible.
There are quite a bit more options for MX at SEE. MYF has a much smaller footprint. Gibbs might have some GA MX shops over on that end of the field. I fly an experimental and hold the repairman's certificate for it, so I can't comment much beyond that.
MYF has 2-3 full service shops on the field. SEE maybe has the same. MYF doesn't have any serious avionics shops on the field, while SEE does, but most folks prefer going to RNM or elsewhere.
One point not yet made is that MYF is a City run airport (like SDM) and SEE is a County run airport. The City is incompetent at running airports and as a result investments are few and MYF is run down.
As noted by others, SEE is a large and pretty friendly community of airplane people, lots of aircraft resources and even manufacturing on the field. MYF is a place where people who fly airplanes park them. The advantage of MYF is that it’s closer to the city of San Diego but a lot of people who live on the coast drive to their hangars at SEE instead to enjoy the benefits.
The City has been relatively incompetent with certain aspects of running MYF, but the actual people who work for the city there are quality. SEE is far from where the OP is going to be and sucks operationally..