Hi Darron,
Have you thought about OCS? Go get a degree (if you don't already have one) and apply for a Pilot Slot. They will pay for your training or at least may be able to help out with it.
As a 25 yr old rated pilot.... I am still and will still be paying off my student loans for many years. Of which many went towards my flight training at both Western Michigan University: College of Aviation and Embry Riddle Aeronautical University. It is very possible for $20k to be the cost of PPL... that is if you are training at a University. Look at other, local and small flight schools. It can be much less expensive, most likely averaging around $9k - $10k depending on how quickly you learn and are able to complete the program.
Instead of asking for hand-outs, donations, etc. or via crowd-funding... your best best for achieving this dream and goal is to put-in work hard and live frugally, like all other pilots. I would suggest looking at part-time or work-from-home opportunities. Things you can do outside of your normal work hours and are able to fit into your family schedule. If you are handy/crafty, artistic, know how to fix computers, etc. These are all things that can be used to make the money you need. A few hours per week with these sort of things can help net you a couple hundred bucks. This would surely help to pay for flight costs, equipment costs, ground-school, Medical, FAA Exams, books, etc.
I'm sure you have the determination and drive to make your dream a reality. Hell, start selling the materialistic non-necessities that you may have gathered over the years from living, spouse, children, etc. Have a project muscle car or other hobby? Get rid of it, because as you know already -- once you have the thrill of flight in your blood....it will never leave.
I'll leave off my rant with a personal story of how I was able to afford flight training and college tuition, without any scholarships, etc.
Anecdote: I used to build adirondack chairs (outdoor wooden chairs) and paint them with custom or cool designs for people. Cost to build and paint: $75.00. Sold for: $300.00 each or $500 for a pair. I built and sold around 40 chairs before I became too busy to continue with my full-time class schedule, 6 flights/week and working part-time at random small jobs. Also, during my 2nd year of college I started a small exterior residential painting business. Walked around neighborhoods knocking on doors asking if they wanted a free quote for painting their house, deck or just power-washing it. I'd measure square footage, estimate costs of primer/paint, materials and labor. I would net around $2500-$5500 after material expenses and paying my small team of 3 painters. Other overheads were very small as I borrowed an uncle's truck, had extension ladders, drop cloths, paint brushes, etc. Hell, I'd charge ~$1,500 to power-wash the house and/or deck and do light cleaning around their properties. As my family had a power-washer, the only overhead was transportation costs to the property. It would take me about 8-12 hours to do, but was a quick $1500 for little work effort. During my 3rd year in college, still with full time schedule, part-time job and flying 6 days a week -- I also repaired computers for people and even a few smalll businesses, installed TV and Audio entertainment systems that I consulted them on purchasing. Using deals I found online, etc. I was able to even have a small 5%-10% margin on reselling new stuff to customers. This would allow me to make between $50-$500+ for just a few hours of work with little to no overhead requirements.
Relying on the generosity of strangers is something that will surely put you back from developing a solution to meet your needs and may only keep you from getting closer to your goals and dreams.
Best of Luck and Happy Landings.
