Shepherd
Final Approach
I've mentioned before. I fly a lot of sketchy airplanes.
Guys will be rebuilding something and they need a test flight, or they are putting a rent-a-wreck back in service and they need a test flight, so they will look at each other and say: "Call Shep. He'll fly anything."
And it's true. I'm not that bright. I'll fly anything. If the engine turns and the wings stay on while taxiing, I'll fly it.
Mostly it's great fun. Sometimes it gets exciting,
Then there was yesterday.
It's 11 degrees F. They left it out and it's covered with frost. Unplug the block heater, drag it in the hanger clean it off. Thirty minutes later, drag it out. Finish my pre-flight, climb in, the battery is nearly dead. Unstrap, climb out walk back to the hanger. Wait for the mechanic to drive to another hanger and bring back a new battery, pull the cowling, install battery. Climb in, buckle up, start the engine. The oil is very cold so I pull the knob for the oil temperature flap. Temp starts coming up. Taxi out, do my run up, mags, check. Odd, the transponder has cycled down. Restart transponder. Call the tower. I'm good to go. Into the air, junior birdman.
I'm climbing out and the engine hiccups once then smooths out. Odd. And the transponder is off again. Restart transponder. OH. and the plane smells funny. like hot electrical. No smoke, everything is in the green. Eh. No problem. I'm heading off to a non-towered airport 12 minutes away, and about halfway there I notice the oil temp is climbing faster than I am. It never goes out of the green, but it's at the top of the green arc.
I pull the knob and nothing happens. It's jammed. I'm pulling hard enough to flex the entire panel.
I level off and throttle back and the oil temp drops back to the center of the range. I'm closer to my destination. Press on.
But I can't get the plane trimmed for straight and level flight. The nose is hunting up and down continually, so I center the trim and fly the (expletive deleted) airplane. I hate electric trim. It's never worked properly in this plane.
And the plane still smells funny.
I end up making a couple of approaches to figure out what the plane is doing. After I land, I get out and look everything over. I can't see anything unusual. I push the oil temp flap up out of the way by hand, climb in and head back home.
As soon as I get off the ground I see the oil temp is climbing again. And the trim doesn't work. And the transponder is off. And the plane smells. I pull the breaker for the transponder. the plane still smells funny. I throttle back and the engine shudders, and keeps shuddering, I can only make 45% power. I'm not going to make it back over the hill to the airport I just left, so press on. Thank God for the tailwind.
I get back home and of course, for the first time in over a year they ask for an ident. Push the breaker, turn on the transponder, push ident. No joy. OK. I suspected it wouldn't work. Pull the breaker. The plane still smells funny.
I'm #1 in the pattern. #2 is a Warrior. I'm going too slow for him. The tower tells him to 360 in place and give me space. He responds "I can't hear you. I can't hear you" and flies UNDER me to beat me to the runway. (He was invited to appear in person at the tower. Sucks to be him.)
I land and as I'm turning onto the taxi "A", a maintenance vehicle, towing a Cirrus pull right into my path. I lock the brakes. After some shuffling of aircraft I have to back track, cross a couple of runways, and finally get back where I belong.
The plane still smells funny. No it wasn't me or untoward bodily excretions.
The mechanic comes out. I'm yelling at him, he's yelling at me. Another mechanic comes over. looks in the plane, walks away and comes back with a fire extinguisher and starts spaying everything aft of the pilots seat.
It seems something (the trim motor?) was burning, and at least one other thing (waiting to hear the details).
All of it a melted mess.
Right next to the fuel tank.
The plastic fuel tank that sits right behind my head.
The smoke was being sucked out the back of the plane, so I never saw any smoke.
So, the tally for the day, broken oil temp control, broken trim, broken transponder, broken carb heat cable (that's what was wrong with the engine. One carb was icing up), broken ELT (the other molten mess in the back), damage to the bulkheads behind me, a melted spot on the fuel tank. We think that everything was triggered when something shorted while the battery was changed.
Not the best day I have ever had in an airplane.
My wife says enough test flying airplanes. But I think there is some wiggle room in the way she said it.
Guys will be rebuilding something and they need a test flight, or they are putting a rent-a-wreck back in service and they need a test flight, so they will look at each other and say: "Call Shep. He'll fly anything."
And it's true. I'm not that bright. I'll fly anything. If the engine turns and the wings stay on while taxiing, I'll fly it.
Mostly it's great fun. Sometimes it gets exciting,
Then there was yesterday.
It's 11 degrees F. They left it out and it's covered with frost. Unplug the block heater, drag it in the hanger clean it off. Thirty minutes later, drag it out. Finish my pre-flight, climb in, the battery is nearly dead. Unstrap, climb out walk back to the hanger. Wait for the mechanic to drive to another hanger and bring back a new battery, pull the cowling, install battery. Climb in, buckle up, start the engine. The oil is very cold so I pull the knob for the oil temperature flap. Temp starts coming up. Taxi out, do my run up, mags, check. Odd, the transponder has cycled down. Restart transponder. Call the tower. I'm good to go. Into the air, junior birdman.
I'm climbing out and the engine hiccups once then smooths out. Odd. And the transponder is off again. Restart transponder. OH. and the plane smells funny. like hot electrical. No smoke, everything is in the green. Eh. No problem. I'm heading off to a non-towered airport 12 minutes away, and about halfway there I notice the oil temp is climbing faster than I am. It never goes out of the green, but it's at the top of the green arc.
I pull the knob and nothing happens. It's jammed. I'm pulling hard enough to flex the entire panel.
I level off and throttle back and the oil temp drops back to the center of the range. I'm closer to my destination. Press on.
But I can't get the plane trimmed for straight and level flight. The nose is hunting up and down continually, so I center the trim and fly the (expletive deleted) airplane. I hate electric trim. It's never worked properly in this plane.
And the plane still smells funny.
I end up making a couple of approaches to figure out what the plane is doing. After I land, I get out and look everything over. I can't see anything unusual. I push the oil temp flap up out of the way by hand, climb in and head back home.
As soon as I get off the ground I see the oil temp is climbing again. And the trim doesn't work. And the transponder is off. And the plane smells. I pull the breaker for the transponder. the plane still smells funny. I throttle back and the engine shudders, and keeps shuddering, I can only make 45% power. I'm not going to make it back over the hill to the airport I just left, so press on. Thank God for the tailwind.
I get back home and of course, for the first time in over a year they ask for an ident. Push the breaker, turn on the transponder, push ident. No joy. OK. I suspected it wouldn't work. Pull the breaker. The plane still smells funny.
I'm #1 in the pattern. #2 is a Warrior. I'm going too slow for him. The tower tells him to 360 in place and give me space. He responds "I can't hear you. I can't hear you" and flies UNDER me to beat me to the runway. (He was invited to appear in person at the tower. Sucks to be him.)
I land and as I'm turning onto the taxi "A", a maintenance vehicle, towing a Cirrus pull right into my path. I lock the brakes. After some shuffling of aircraft I have to back track, cross a couple of runways, and finally get back where I belong.
The plane still smells funny. No it wasn't me or untoward bodily excretions.
The mechanic comes out. I'm yelling at him, he's yelling at me. Another mechanic comes over. looks in the plane, walks away and comes back with a fire extinguisher and starts spaying everything aft of the pilots seat.
It seems something (the trim motor?) was burning, and at least one other thing (waiting to hear the details).
All of it a melted mess.
Right next to the fuel tank.
The plastic fuel tank that sits right behind my head.
The smoke was being sucked out the back of the plane, so I never saw any smoke.
So, the tally for the day, broken oil temp control, broken trim, broken transponder, broken carb heat cable (that's what was wrong with the engine. One carb was icing up), broken ELT (the other molten mess in the back), damage to the bulkheads behind me, a melted spot on the fuel tank. We think that everything was triggered when something shorted while the battery was changed.
Not the best day I have ever had in an airplane.
My wife says enough test flying airplanes. But I think there is some wiggle room in the way she said it.
