How To Convince The Parents?

Lindberg said:
Agree with this, but be prepared for the answer to still be no. There are very few pilots I would let take my daughter up without me, and none of them are 17.
Click to expand...
Yea, there definitely has to be some trust built up.
 
Matthew,

I’ve been in your shoes before. After earning my cert. at 17, a lot of friends wanted to go flying with me. Most of which happened to be females. I eagerly took many that were interested and we had a great time. One time I met the mother of a girl that flew with me, in her own home. I rang the doorbell and her mother answered. She asked if I was Ryan and the one who took her daughter and friends flying. I told her I was, and as a normal parent would, she expressed some concern, but was not against the idea at all. I told her I take safety very seriously and would never do anything intentional to endanger anyone’s lives. After a few minutes of discussion, she warmed up to the idea and could tell that I wasn’t a wild child.

Look at it from the parents perspective. If you were the father who had a teenage daughter, would you whole heartedly feel comfortable knowing that they were going to fly with another teen who just received their pilot card? I know I wouldn’t be. Especially without knowing the pilot. I know how most kids are, so quite honestly, I wouldn’t feel too comfortable knowing my daughter was in the passenger seat of a guy who just got his drivers license.

If you’re wanting to make this friend of yours more than a friend, I suggest that you respect the wishes of her parents or else it may be the end of you and her. Best of luck!
 
Ryanb said:
Matthew,

I’ve been in your shoes before. After earning my cert. at 17, a lot of friends wanted to go flying with me. Most of which happened to be females. I eagerly took many that were interested and we had a great time. One time I met the mother of a girl that flew with me, in her own home. I rang the doorbell and her mother answered. She asked if I was Ryan and the one who took her daughter and friends flying. I told her I was, and as a normal parent would, she expressed some concern, but was not against the idea at all. I told her I take safety very seriously and would never do anything intentional to endanger anyone’s lives. After a few minutes of discussion, she warmed up to the idea and could tell that I wasn’t a wild child.
Click to expand...
The problem is that at 17, your brain isn't even fully developed yet. Even if you're a pilot. I was an 18-year-old pilot, and I took friends up. I fully recognize that my judgment at 18 was nothing like my judgment now.
 
Lindberg said:
The problem is that at 17, your brain isn't even fully developed yet. Even if you're a pilot. I was an 18-year-old pilot, and I took friends up. I fully recognize that my judgment at 18 was nothing like my judgment now.
Click to expand...
Well of course. I feel a lot wiser now than I did than, but that’s beyond the point, isn’t it?
 
Matthew K said:
I'll make sure to bring a contract to sign so she can't change her mind once on the ground ;):D
Click to expand...
Depending on the state, a verbal contract may be binding.... look into it

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
 
Matthew K said:
:D I've given some hints. And no plans for politics, there is far to little money in it to pay for flying ;)
Click to expand...
Congress members are exempt from "insider trading" rules. Get yourself elected to one term and you can fly anything you like.
 
WannFly said:
Depending on the state, a verbal contract may be binding.... look into it

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
It appears that in my state as long as their is proof of the oral agreement, it can be binding. So, just record the cockpit audio like normal and I'm set ;)
 
Have you met her parents yet?
 
Ryanb said:
Have you met her parents yet?
Click to expand...
Sorta? I've been to the "friends" house a few times but haven't really spoke to the parents enough for them to really know me or me know them.
 
Matthew K said:
Ok, so as some of you may know, I got my PPL back in September. Now its November and I want to take "a friend" flying with me. This friend is up for it, but the mom doesn't like the idea of small planes(probably doesn't help that I barely know the mom tbh). I remember the convincing I had to go through with my parents to get them to let me do flight training, so I can 100% see where the mom is coming from (Ironically, her husband is a pilot in the reserves, but from my understanding she hasn't been exposed much to his flying :confused:).

I still want to take this person flying obviously, and considering I nor the friend are legally adults, I can't really ignore the parents. The only option I see here is to build trust with the parents and talk to them about it and eventually get them to approve. I was wondering what suggestions you all may have to convince the parents/to help put them at ease that I may not have thought of to hopefully speed up this process.

P.S. This could apply to many situations, but take "a friend" as you wish ;)
Click to expand...
Mathew, are you are you attending college, still in high school, evaluating colleges? If so which colleges?
 
Timbeck2 said:
At 18 you are fearless and bulletproof and don't have people who count on you like you do when you're older.
Click to expand...
You would be counting on me to get your wonderful daughter back home safely and in a timely manner. Can’t disappoint Mr. Timbeck2. My parents count on me and I’m not a total screwup, yet :D
 
Generally there are two possible objections to having someone take my kids flying. Addressing them takes different strategies.
1. Is fear of pilot's judgement. Way to address this is get to know the parents, and if possible build trust via dad or close adult friend. Aince the dad flies, ask him for a CFI he trusts. Tell him you have been told to get more than one instructor to learn multiple approaches and make you a better pilot and more informed.
2. Second is fear of small planes. Rent a Cirrus. Explain the chute. This does more to eliminate small plane fear than anything else. If you take the dad flying, or one of his friends. Make sure you do a proper passenger brief including use if the chute.

Tim

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Tapatalk
 
Take aviation out of the question. Build the relationship with the family. Let aviation be an afterthought. That level of maturity is what builds the trust, whether you have a romantic interest in your friend or not.

For example, when my kids were in high school, I had no problem with them riding around with friends I knew and trusted. We had a rule that before you could ride (or drive) someone else, we had to meet them. Usually, this turned into a Saturday or Sunday barbecue event. The ones that were mature enough to engage with me or Mom in conversations got the green light most of the time. The ones who were not mature enough to be social didn’t.
 
TCABM said:
Take aviation out of the question. Build the relationship with the family. Let aviation be an afterthought. That level of maturity is what builds the trust, whether you have a romantic interest in your friend or not.

For example, when my kids were in high school, I had no problem with them riding around with friends I knew and trusted. We had a rule that before you could ride (or drive) someone else, we had to meet them. Usually, this turned into a Saturday or Sunday barbecue event. The ones that were mature enough to engage with me or Mom in conversations got the green light most of the time. The ones who were not mature enough to be social didn’t.
Click to expand...
If your directing towards my comment about the parents, I agree. I'm usually one to get to know the parents. With this specific person there hasn't been an opportunity to do that, yet.
 
Ryanb said:
Well of course. I feel a lot wiser now than I did than, but that’s beyond the point, isn’t it?
Click to expand...
No, that was precisely my point. I don't know many 17-year-old pilots. I know one who's probably 18 and about to take his checkride. I've known him through his training, know and trust both his instructor and his examiner implicitly. I've seen him demonstrate excellent ADM. He's a smart and respectful young man.

It's still very unlikely I would let my daughter fly with him mere weeks after he gets his certificate. And he has the benefit of having been a rated glider pilot.
 
Ryanb said:
One time I met the mother of a girl that flew with me, in her own home. I rang the doorbell and her mother answered. She asked if I was Ryan and the one who took her daughter and friends flying. I told her I was, and as a normal parent would, she expressed some concern, but was not against the idea at all. I told her I take safety very seriously and would never do anything intentional to endanger anyone’s lives. After a few minutes of discussion, she warmed up to the idea and could tell that I wasn’t a wild child.!
Click to expand...

C'mon Ryanb, what's the real story here? You took mom up didn't you, and then she seduced you huh.

 
I started flying at 19 and used the pilot card on many occasions to gain the interest of the opposite sex. My experience was that girls were more impressed with the concept that you're a pilot, rather than the possibility of being able to go fly. I'm not saying that they'd pass on a chance to go fly, but you earned the cert card and that makes you stand out from the 99% of other dudes out there, so you've already won that battle. Leave a little mystery; make her beg you to take her up flying; the mom issues will go away if she really wants to do it. Just be a decent guy, don't **** off her parents, and what happens will happen.
 
Lindberg said:
No, that was precisely my point. I don't know many 17-year-old pilots. I know one who's probably 18 and about to take his checkride. I've known him through his training, know and trust both his instructor and his examiner implicitly. I've seen him demonstrate excellent ADM. He's a smart and respectful young man.

It's still very unlikely I would let my daughter fly with him mere weeks after he gets his certificate. And he has the benefit of having been a rated glider pilot.
Click to expand...
Yea I can concur. More than one time that I thought, these parents must be out of their minds to let their kids fly with a 17 year old pilot. I knew my own skills and limitations, but these parents did not.

With that being said, I don’t always think you can have selection bias based upon the age of the pilot. It’s natural to think the older the individual is, the higher his or her’s experience or skill set is, but that’s not always true. There’s several older pilots who I wouldn’t want to fly with.
 
mscard88 said:
C'mon Ryanb, what's the real story here? You took mom up didn't you, and then she seduced you huh.
Click to expand...
To be honest, the story ended there. Haven’t seen the mother since. Maybe that says something..? Ha

No, her and I graduated and I haven’t seen the daughter since then either. Her mother wasn’t exactly the cougar type anyway.. I kid, I kid ;)
 
It’s normal for people with a non aviation background to be nervous. I got my license at your age too. I thought I was the coolest person. Whenever I’d fly, I’d get down to work though and get serious. No matter how much you explain the safety and statistics, most people are probably not comfortable letting their child fly in a plane with another child. My parents were really pretty conservative about who I got in the car with. They had the one year rule where the person had to have their license for a year before they’d let me ride with them.
 
Says me if the parents don't want their kid to go the kid don't go and that's the end of it. Airplanes are breathtakingly expensive to own and operate. If parents can't recognize the extent of one's gesture and skills, screw them. Sucks that it hits the kids, but life just ain't fair.
I don't think of the flight, I think about what happens if anything goes wrong. Anyone says they don't want to fly with me, they can stay on the ground. No skin off my nose.
 
I still use the motorcycle question when people ask if I could take them on a plane ride. "Would you ride on the back of my motorcycle going down the interstate at 75mph?" "No?"

Ok, then, you probably shouldn't be going up in small GA aircraft.
 
Some of that concern is statistical in nature, but is fed by a confirmation bias unfortunately. Everyone knows stories of fine young men trying to impress girls and ending in an accelerated stall at low altitude. To be fair, I know of a case when the culprit was a commercial pilot and a CFI. Overbanked just a tad and pulled just a shade too hard. They both died, of course.

P.S. Personally, I don't fly with my daughter onboard. No point in taking the risk. Wife is different though, she knew what she got into.
 
Last edited:
Matthew K said:
Yea I definitely understand their/her concerns, I asked the friend with the full expectation that the parents would be "hesitant" to allow it. Nevertheless, I am still determined to try and convince them.

You "may" have the wrong gender there. ;)
Click to expand...

See, that's a little factoid that may affect the dynamics. My guess is a ride in your van conversion is off the table as well.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top