How can I be more confident?

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Hello all,

I'm just over 200 hours, private pilot w/ instrument rating. I got my PPL in May of 2012 and instrument in January 2013. I own my own plane and I have about 130 hours in it. I naturally worry a lot and that has always made me be a fairly timid pilot and extremely cautious which I think is a good thing at this point. When I am flying with a CFI or even with a passenger I am more relaxed and calm, even if the CFI never touches the controls or says anything. A couple weeks ago I was out building time (need to get that CPL done!) and I came back to home base where I totally and completely screwed up my pattern and landing. I haven't flown a traffic pattern in awhile, usually just approaches, so I chalked it up to that. But even on final I couldn't salvage it, and about 5 feet off the runway I went around. I flew a lot in heavy wind conditions right after my PPL (funny how weather works, huh?) and got really good at cross winds. Now I feel like 7 or 8 knots alone is the most difficult task ever. The fact that my landing was going to be so horrible that I went around frightens me quite a bit. I know I can fly, and I know I fly pretty well from what I've been told and from what I've heard around the rumor mill flight school. But I'm not confident like I should be, and I don't know why. What can I do? I love flying, it's so rewarding and that first flight where I filed IFR (even though it was CAVU) was the most rewarding flight I've ever taken. If a CFI is with me I fly so much better (well, in the landing phase) and it's been... shoot I dunno 100 hours since I've had an instructor take the controls, and that was went we were on a short grass runway practicing shorts/softs in a crosswind and he was helping me get the airplane down. I know how to fly. I just don't know how to convince myself when I'm all alone in the airplane that I can fly... if that makes sense.
 
Fly more solo, pick 5 or 6 different airports nearby and practice pattern entries and landings for an hour per week. Landings are my difficult area too. I am just the opposite, I worry more with family or friends on board.
 
You have spent so much time with instructors giving you a pat on the back at every turn you now expect it. Plan a trip to the coast. 3 day minimum. Just go fly and build time by yourself. The cure is solo time flying. Just do it.

I would much rather fly by my self, I find I am pretty good company. :D
 
I am the OP.

I don't think testerone therapy is a good idea, considering I'm a female haha. Though that fact has nothing to do with this conversation.

I just get kind of bored flying solo. When I was building time for the IR I did a lot of it, at least for me and I listened to books a lot in a CD player. I also don't think a trip to the coast would take 3 days... 3 hours maybe if I slowed the plane down! But again, why would I go to the coast by myself? I love sharing my love of aviation and my little airplane with friends & family, and spending 3 days or whatever it is by myself doesn't sound like the best way to do that.
 
Geico266 said:
Just go fly and build time by yourself. The cure is solo time flying. Just do it.
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Agree with this. Once you have the basic technical skills there's really no way to build self-confidence other than doing it yourself.
 
Unregistered said:
I am the OP.

I don't think testerone therapy is a good idea, considering I'm a female haha. Though that fact has nothing to do with this conversation.

I just get kind of bored flying solo. When I was building time for the IR I did a lot of it, at least for me and I listened to books a lot in a CD player. I also don't think a trip to the coast would take 3 days... 3 hours maybe if I slowed the plane down! But again, why would I go to the coast by myself? I love sharing my love of aviation and my little airplane with friends & family, and spending 3 days or whatever it is by myself doesn't sound like the best way to do that.
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You need to fly an RV. PM me and we'll get you up in the air in an RV. I promise you not gonna be bored. :no:
 
One hour with a good CFI just to make sure that you're not doing something sloppily - and off you go..!

You're not going to be a pro with 125 hours. Seriously. Even 250.
 
Everskyward said:
Agree with this. Once you have the basic technical skills there's really no way to build self-confidence other than doing it yourself.
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Yes, building confidence and self-reliance is a one step-at-a-time thing. Going around is not a bad thing at all. You recognized that there might be a problem and took action. That's good. Practice, practice, practice until you're comfortable and then maintain that edge. Any time you lay off it'll take a little bit of work to get back in the groove. As you build time it'll take less practice to stay sharp.
 
Geico266 said:
Nothing better than solo time. I am soooo looking forward to the trip to Alaska. :D
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I think the FAA made a mistake when they reduced the solo time required for private pilots from 20 hours to 10.
 
I can relate to your concerns. After about 180 hours of flying and just after getting my instrument rating, I had a significant engine problem while flying over low IMC conditions. It shook me to the bones and took me about a hundred hours to get back in the saddle comfortably again. Flying is just as much about mental confidence as it is about physical skills.

You need to build up the confidence by flying often and setting goals for yourself to achieve. As was mentioned by others, setup and take some progressive trips to keep you challenged and expand your confidence.

Also keep in mind that lack of confidence in another form is fear. Fear is not a bad thing. It is one of our basic instincts and kept us from being dinosaur dinners. Managing that fear is what you are trying to achieve. I won't fly with pilots who have no fear -- they scare me... :)

PM if you want to discuss in a less than public forum. Hang in there.
 
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bbchien said:
One hour with a good CFI just to make sure that you're not doing something sloppily - and off you go..!

You're not going to be a pro with 125 hours. Seriously. Even 250.
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... That's another problem. My CFI and I had a falling out the day before my IFR ride. When I passed, I never got so much as a "congrats" from him. So now I am waiting to have a chat with his boss about who I am going to do my CPL with, since clearly things aren't working out. I don't want to be a pro at my little 200hrs, but I do want to be safe and proficient.
 
Unregistered said:
... That's another problem. My CFI and I had a falling out the day before my IFR ride. When I passed, I never got so much as a "congrats" from him. So now I am waiting to have a chat with his boss about who I am going to do my CPL with, since clearly things aren't working out. I don't want to be a pro at my little 200hrs, but I do want to be safe and proficient.
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Ok, so you need to find a new instructor.

What are you worried about? Handling crosswinds? Flying in actual IMC? Traveling to other places? Talking on the radio?

Grab an instructor and go off and get good at it. Then fly the solo. Wash, rinse and repeat as needed.
 
I started flying again in 2010 after 34 years away from it (75 hours total) and I knew I was sh&t at it but CFIs kept telling me I was fine. Really. Like at least four of them, more likely six. I was wrapping up my IR dual time and screwed up two 172 landings in a row and decided that was it. I had a line on a taildragger that someone I met had said I might be able to use. Got with him and made the necessary arrangements and never looked back. My tw instructor was fantastic at picking up exactly what I was doing wrong. I was not "fine" and he let me know it. Then proceeded to correct it. My tw endorsement took over 16 hours. Part of that was Luscombe, part crosswinds, part asphalt but a good bit of it was me. Now I know that I am fine. Still need to get that IR, though. :)

Point being, challenge yourself and become proficient at stick and rudder. Tailwheel is good, acro even better.
 
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Seriously, the only way to do it is to do it.
Take a long solo XC to places you haven't been. Into airspace you haven't flown, with procedures you don't use all the time. Do different things, so it's not the same hour repeated 100 times.

Somewhere in there you'll run into a problem you have to deal with, make mistakes you have to recover from, run into weather you have to handle.
After a few of those, you'll feel better.

In police work, the saying was you didn't know what you were made of until your first fight. You can't have confidence until you've had some experiences that create confidence (i.e. confidence comes from knowing you can handle whatever comes up).
 
PilotAlan said:
Seriously, the only way to do it is to do it.
Take a long solo XC to places you haven't been. Into airspace you haven't flown, with procedures you don't use all the time. Do different things, so it's not the same hour repeated 100 times.
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I agree. Also maybe try to switch the aircraft up. I'm not sure if all of your training has been in one type/manufacturer of aircraft, but I make it a point to fly planes I never have before on a regular occasion.
 
If you don't enjoy flying alone then there's no reason you have to do it all the time. But if you're having confidence issues, why not do some maneuvers solo, practice TO & Ls etc. at fields you don't normally visit? Not necessarily on a regular basis, but just until you get your confidence back?

FWIW I have over 950 hours and I still screw up approaches to landing so badly once in a while that I have to go around. Usually it's by coming in so high that there is no way I can land on the available runway, and usually that happens because I've misjudged my downwind leg and/or my descent rate. It sounds as if you went around and fixed whatever you didn't do quite right the first time. There is nothing wrong with that. A landing is only a balked go-around.
 
bflynn said:
Ok, so you need to find a new instructor.

What are you worried about? Handling crosswinds? Flying in actual IMC? Traveling to other places? Talking on the radio?

Grab an instructor and go off and get good at it. Then fly the solo. Wash, rinse and repeat as needed.
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More than anything, landing in general and that includes crosswinds. It didn't used to though which is weird to me. 4 or 5 months ago I was handling cross winds at the demonstrated component of my airplane fine, now anything over about 8kts, maybe 10, freaks me out. No reason either, no close calls.. nothing. I hate doing T&G's, but that came with the retract airplane. I wish it was that easy to "grab" an instructor. It used to be where I lived before, and where I bought the airplane. I had friends who had their CFIIs and we'd always go flying, and when I had a concern I always grabbed them and worked through it. I need to just go up. I know it. But I just don't want to screw anything up.
 
Mtns2Skies said:
I agree. Also maybe try to switch the aircraft up. I'm not sure if all of your training has been in one type/manufacturer of aircraft, but I make it a point to fly planes I never have before on a regular occasion.
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I own my airplane. I have about 130hrs in it of my 200. I have a couple hours in twins too, but just doesn't make sense to spend big $$$ to fly something different. I love my airplane.
 
Unregistered said:
I own my airplane. I have about 130hrs in it of my 200. I have a couple hours in twins too, but just doesn't make sense to spend big $$$ to fly something different. I love my airplane.
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Completely understood. Just out of curiosity may I ask what plane?
 
Someone else said it earlier, I'll echo it - I think Geicos advice about flying to the beach is excellent. Either go solo or take a non pilot passenger. When I was flying with non-pilot passengers in my 172 (mostly trying to impress girls) I'd do my checklists out loud and say things like "Recalibrating Inertial Navigation System" when in reality I was just resetting the DG. That shenanigan was always fun - non flying pax are entertaining.
 
Unregistered said:
I sent you a PM.

It's a high performance & retract aircraft.
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Hmm. 200 hour pilot with a high performance retract that just received an IR - Is it a Cessna retract? Dunno why you posted this here - PoA is like planet fitness. It's a judgement free zone (HAH!)

But really, there's no reason to be nervous. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you are feeling at your stage in the game, and if you are who I think you are you probably didn't get much actual IMC during your training due to your location. Go down to SNA and pick up a CFI and get some approaches in actual, then kick out the CFI and do some on your own. Then celebrate with a margarita on the beach.
 
Unregistered said:
I sent you a PM.

It's a high performance & retract aircraft.
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Once you are in the pattern, gear down cowl flaps open and prop + mixture forward, that does not matter. Its a 172 for all you know.

I really hate to be a tailwheel snob, but if your only obstacle now is crosswind landings find an instructor who teaches in tailwheel aircraft and get your TW endorsement. You will never again fear a crosswind landing in a nosewheel airplane.

Its tough to get tailwheel training and I understand if you don't want to go through with that and the associated expense. What I can also suggest, that will help is you do some SOLO practice flying your airplane on a light wind day at about 1.05 Vso 5ft above the runway. :) Fly w landing flaps, and the stall horn squealing.

Don't get frustrated because you have an instrument rating and have trouble landing in a crosswind. IR teaches you nothing about stick and rudder skills. If it helps, I got my instrument at 160 hours TT and at 350TT now I am just getting to the point that I can land 'no sweat' in a gusty 15-20kt crosswind.
 
I have two comments. I've been flying for +30 years, and I've scared myself a few times. I also own and operate a HP complex SE plane.

First, your concern is because you know what you know, and you also know what you don't know. Judging by your posting style, you're a fairly intelligent, motivated, and goal-oriented person. This defines most pilots, even private pilots who would classify themselves as 'timid'. Remember, a timid private pilot is a hell-raising crazy risk taker to the rest of the world! At 200 hours you understand the risk of the low or moderately low time pilot. At 4 hours you were much more dangerous because you didn't know what you didn't know. Now you do know that risk, and realize there is an increased to the general risk at this point in your flying.

Being able to evaluate that, even if you over-analyze it and over-state it at least you recognize the situation rather than many of us who were clueless about our risk factors from our 50th to our 250th hour of flight. You've taken steps to mitigate that risk by getting advanced instruction, and by maintaining your proficiency(I presume).

So, here's the thing, you're in the top percentile of low time pilots in understanding your own limitations and the risk factors that you present. As long as you don't turn that understanding into a huge ball of anxiety, I think you'll get over this just fine in a few months of solo when you have a destination. Too often, when we are just pleasure flying, or honing our skills repeatedly it's easy to be much too critical. The fact that you went around once recently is a mark of maturity, and respect for your skills. the decision to go around is more important than the fact that you went around and landed again. It's the decisions which are important in aviation, and it sounds like you're making the most conservative decisions you can, because most times you don't have a destination or a mission. Find a mission, or make a destination and put some goals on completion. Of course, never force anything to the point of get-there-itis, but don't let minor lapses sway you from your goal or mission you've set for the flight.

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Next, I've found that concerns with control of an aircraft have a real simple and quite enjoyable solution. Go fly some ACRO! Somewhere near you, there's an FBO that has a Citabria or Decathlon, or other bird that is capable of looping rolling and spinning. Take a short course in ground discussion with an acro CFI and strap on the chute and bore some holes!

You will get an amazing insight into just how maneuverable a plane is. Of course, you don't want to go tossing your own steed around like that, but at least you'll know the limits of an aircraft under your control. You will practice precision maneuvers until you can do a spin, and recover on a defined heading. You'll learn to do a loop that doesn't stall at the top, and a set of rolls that have you enter and exit on the same heading. You'll learn to slip to a landing, closely control your height above the runway, use the rudder correctly in all situations and all in all will make you understand how responsive any GA plane can be if you just use the controls at hand and foot. Again, you're plane will not be as responsive, it won't have the same authority, and it's not made to go upside down, but you will know that no matter the position the plane is in, you will have the skills in your hands to make the plane perform as you intend it to.

You never have to go solo in the acro plane, it can all be dual if you want. Once you get the hang of setting up the plane where you want it, when you want it, and how you want it, the results of your inputs will get drastically better in all aircraft you fly.

Another option is sailplanes, but that's no where near as fun as acro. But, the respect of control authority and energy management in a glider is also a great confidence boost. no going around in a glider!

Good luck, hope this helps.
 
My landings have not improved, and in fact I think they have gotten worse.

I have flown and landed 5 different planes (or more) in the past few months, and I thought I was supposed to be getting better by now.

My confidence has not improved, either.

One reason is that I fly with so many pilots - either as a passenger or with them as my passenger or both - and I'm the type they feel they can be honest with. Sometimes, not always, this results in low time non CFI pilots "rating" my performance.

Other times they say nice things when really they shouldn't because they are sugar coating stuff.

I never fly solo but should. Just the other day I went to the airport, with the intention of flying alone, but a buddy was there and I had a passenger.

How often do you fly alone? Is everything training? If you can afford to fly alone, I'd say do that. If landings are your concern, rather than fly 15 times around your own pattern, are you close enough to other airports that you could hit 3 or maybe 5 of them VFR in less than 2 hours round trip? That would cover traffic patterns and landings both for you.
 
Unregistered said:
But I just don't want to screw anything up.
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Here is the crux of your issue. After you and the CFI parted ways you are having to make decisions on your own. No more affirmation that you did the right thing. Some people are never comfortable with this and lose interest in flying pretty quickly.

Set some aviation goals. Find some fly in breakfasts in your area ( 200 mile range) where you can go and meet other pilots and talk about the flight in, airplanes, hangar talk, ect. Leave at sunup to enjoy the calm air and beauty of the morning. Appreciating the solitude of flight is an acquired taste. ;)

My current aviation goal is to land and take off in all of the 50 states. Alaska is next... solo. :D.
 
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Unregistered said:
I am the OP.

I don't think testerone therapy is a good idea, considering I'm a female haha. Though that fact has nothing to do with this conversation.

I just get kind of bored flying solo. When I was building time for the IR I did a lot of it, at least for me and I listened to books a lot in a CD player. I also don't think a trip to the coast would take 3 days... 3 hours maybe if I slowed the plane down! But again, why would I go to the coast by myself? I love sharing my love of aviation and my little airplane with friends & family, and spending 3 days or whatever it is by myself doesn't sound like the best way to do that.
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It's not about what you want, it's about what you need. You say you are heading for a CPL yet you treat aviation like it's a social event. There is only one important relationship when flying and that is between you and the plane. You shouldn't be listening to books, you should be listening to the plane. Flying is not boring if you are doing it right, there are many things to pay attention to. You better get your head into the game or the game will play you.
 
Geico266 said:
Here is the crux of your issue. After you and the CFI parted ways you are having to make decisions on your own. No more affirmation that you did the right thing. Some people are never comfortable with this and lose interest in flying pretty quickly.

Set some aviation goals. Find some fly in breakfasts in your area ( 200 mile range) where you can go and meet other pilots and talk about the flight in, airplanes, hangar talk, ect. Leave at sunup to enjoy the calm air and beauty of the morning. Appreciating the solitude of flight is an acquired taste. ;)

My current aviation goal is to land and take off in all of the 50 states. Alaska is next... solo. :D.
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I have been trying to do more of the breakfast/lunch fly-ins, unfortunately most of them are on Saturdays and typically I have work commitments in the mornings and no one likes to fly in the afternoon. I have a really good group of pilot friends and I enjoy them very much.. a handful are even female!

I think deep down part of the reason is my CFI. When we parted ways it wasn't pretty, and I lost a lot of the mental prepardness I had going into my IR ride because of how he handled the situation.

I did an acro flight once, just once. I didn't like it at all. It was open cockpit and I constantly felt like I was going to fall out of the airplane. Maybe if I could do it in an Extra 300 or something that wasn't open cockpit I'd feel better, but I didn't like it. I would do tailwheel but my old CFI is the main tailwheel guy... don't wanna do that again.. I have done spin training in a 172, though stupid old CFI won't give me the spin endorsement so I need to do it yet again.

I'd say my aviation goal is to be able to use my airplane for business and pleasure, and eventually upgrade to something bigger/faster (aren't we all like that?) but likely stay in a single. I'd really like to get my CFI, because after this debacle I'd love to teach people what flying is, and not how to pass a check ride.. because in my book if you teach someone to fly, they'll pass the ride. If you teach them to pass the ride, they'll always be limited in their flying.



I really appreciate everyone in here. You guys are the bestest. Now make a fun fly-in that isn't 500 miles away!
 
Unregistered said:
I just don't know how to convince myself when I'm all alone in the airplane that I can fly... if that makes sense.
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Many great suggestions made! I sense that you are a driven person who can achieve what they set out to accomplish. However, you need a pat of confidence or just some else aboard to keep you in check. I don't think your alone and I suspect others have had similar experiences but just have not posted it here. I know a female pilot who is scared to death to fly by herself but will fly w/ a CFI and all is good! Here's that confidence thing again. So how do you fix it?

List the areas of concern on paper and really think about what happens when your flying. Get scared? Forget basics? Hate crosswinds? Write it down! Then take each one of these and create a game plan to fix it. Think about what you can do or do differently to fix the problem? Lots of skilled folks on this forum who can help. Also, this is where a Good pilot friend or trusted CFI can help with guidance and solutions.

I also agree with pushing yourself slightly to do something that is out of your comfort zone. You mentioned having an issue w/ pattern entries. Okay, go take an hour and practice! Do it till your comfortable. Plan out a long XC somewhere on a VFR day. File it and go IFR.

Building on these success will help you with your confidence!
 
Another vote for just go do it,

I'm far from super pilot but spent Monday flying little planes in lots of wind. Sure I could have been scared, but I prefer to enjoy the challenge of a perfect centerline landing in gusty cross winds.

I got sooooooooo close that were I a smoker I'd have needed a cigarette when I landed the arrow Monday, just a little more to the right next time!
 
DavidWhite said:
Hmm. 200 hour pilot with a high performance retract that just received an IR - Is it a Cessna retract? Dunno why you posted this here - PoA is like planet fitness. It's a judgement free zone (HAH!)

But really, there's no reason to be nervous. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you are feeling at your stage in the game, and if you are who I think you are you probably didn't get much actual IMC during your training due to your location. Go down to SNA and pick up a CFI and get some approaches in actual, then kick out the CFI and do some on your own. Then celebrate with a margarita on the beach.
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Whatever you do, don't get to the beach and then tell ATC that your engine is running a teensy, teensy bit rough:lol:
 
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