Homecoming "Party Limo" driver turns in drinking teens, parents upset AT HIM

mikea

mikea

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I once represented a young guy who was charged with Drug Offenses having possesed a good amount of Cocaine. Serious Felony charge. The young man's mother was at the preliminary hearing and all she did was rant and complain how the cops illegally searched her son and it was wrong.

IMHO the cops did preform and illegal search and I fought that but I was just stunned at the mother that fact that her son had a large amount of cocaine on him did not once enter into the conversation. She was upset about the search not her sons possession of cocaine.
 
There has been a disturbing trend, largely among baby boomer parents to become friends with their kids instead of parents. They are enablers of bad behavior because they want their kids to "like" them. They are deathly afraid of their kids not liking them for some reason. My parents didn't care if I liked them. If I got in trouble at school, I'd get punished twice. Once by the school and then I'd get it when I got home.

Parents need to be parents not litter mates.
 
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Anthony said:
There has been a disturbing trend, largely among baby boomer parents to beocme friends with their kids instead of parents. They are enablers of bad behavior because they want their kids to "like" them. They are deathly afraid of their kids not liking them for some reason. My parents didn't care if I liked them. If I got in trouble at school, I'd get punished twice. Once by the school and then I'd get it when I got home.

Parents need to be parents not litter mates.
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It's not baby boomer parents, because I'm one on the tail end. It's Gen X or whatever came right behind.

We didn't have booze at teen parties, real fireworks, or bloody/gory Halloweens.

Too these parents all of that is S.O.P. because they had them. :dunno:

They actually say, "The kids gonna drink anyway, (we did!) so we might as well keep them safe at home (or in the limo.)

And then when the little snowflake gets in trouble, blame others.
 
Not all the parents were irresponsible aholes...

"Some of the parents said to me, 'Thank you very much,' " Cesar said. "Others said: 'This is stupid. It's homecoming.' "

That guy should be congratulated. I particularly liked the bit where the kid comes back to the bus with the package, and tells the driver "It's none of your business. Don't worry, you'll be tipped."

Obnoxious, cocky and uppity. Something tells me his parents were probably the ones complaining.
 
flyersfan31 said:
...[/I]That guy should be congratulated. I particularly liked the bit where the kid comes back to the bus with the package, and tells the driver "It's none of your business. Don't worry, you'll be tipped."

Obnoxious, cocky and uppity. Something tells me his parents were probably the ones complaining.
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Something tells me the kid is destined to be a successful investment bank CEO. ;)
 
Wait, wait, wait, no one's grasping the important point here:

The kids were responsible enough to not drive around getting hammered on Homecoming night, and instead, actually tried to respectfully hide the fact that they were drinking in the limo.

I don't believe anyone here is naieve enough to not know that kids drink on Homecoming night, and nothing anyone does is going to stop that, short of locking the kids inside, alone. The limo driver's a waste, he took a service that the kids were responsibly using, and turned it into a feared commodity for teens.

I know of a group of kids with a DWI in their future. Great job, Party Limo! What's next? Are Saferide or taxi drivers next?

edit: also - the parents, if they're decent parents, will punish the hell outta those kids for drinking....its the responsible thing to do. But you gotta ensure their safety at the same time you punish them for making dumb mistakes.

I'm sure the parents never drank as teenagers though. That's a new phenomenon.
 
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SkyHog said:
Wait, wait, wait, no one's grasping the important point here:

The kids were responsible enough to not drive around getting hammered on Homecoming night, and instead, actually tried to respectfully hide the fact that they were drinking in the limo.

I don't believe anyone here is naieve enough to not know that kids drink on Homecoming night, and nothing anyone does is going to stop that, short of locking the kids inside, alone. The limo driver's a waste, he took a service that the kids were responsibly using, and turned it into a feared commodity for teens.

I know of a group of kids with a DWI in their future. Great job, Party Limo! What's next? Are Saferide or taxi drivers next?
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The kids and parents were stupid enoughj to think the written no booze policy the limo company had was "Pshaw. Not for my snowflakes?"

The way TEENAGE kids avoid drunk driving deaths is NOT DRINKING.
 
mikea said:
The kids and parents were stupid enoughj to think the written no booze policy the limo company had was "Pshaw. Not for my snowflakes?"

The way TEENAGE kids avoid drunk driving deaths is NOT DRINKING.
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And abstinence only education is the best way to teach sex ed, right?

You get my point?
 
SkyHog said:
And abstinence only education is the best way to teach sex ed, right?

You get my point?
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I suppose. Again not in my day.

We were OK with soft drinks....and nobody AFAIK, was getting any of the other either.
 
mikea said:
I suppose. Again not in my day.

We were OK with soft drinks....and nobody AFAIK, was getting any of the other either.
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Well, here's what I can say. I was a gigantic drinker in high school (started as a jock, moved into playing in rock bands, kind of came with the territory). Our form of staying safe was house parties. No one drove after drinking (or, very few did), because we usually just passed out at the house we partied at.

Then the police cracked down on house parties. Guess what, kids started getting busted left and right for DWI after that, and no one could figure out what caused the increase.

Its because adults refuse to understand that kids of each generation are essentially the same as the kids previously, with a slightly different attitude and a slightly different set of clothing. But they still drink, they are probably going to smoke pot from time to time, and the best bet, as a parent, is to punish when caught, but ensure they are safe when they do it anyways.

Note: That doesn't mean to be the "cool" parent and host the house party.
 
Perhaps you need to read the article again. They did not try to respectfully hide the fact they were breaking the contract they had signed for the limo , instead they were rude to the driver when asked about what they were bringing on to the bus and in addition, some of the parents were threatining to sue the driver because he had the nerve to follow the law and his company policies.
 
The driver most likely reported them more for the fact that the kids were rude to him than the fact that they had alcohol and had been drinking. The most shocking part is that the parents are actually trying to sue the driver!

With that said, I fully agree with everything Figs Cry said. It's a ridiculous thought to think that kids wont drink at parties. Welcome to the life of 99% of underage college/high school students in this country.
 
SkyHog said:
...Then the police cracked down on house parties. Guess what, kids started getting busted left and right for DWI after that, and no one could figure out what caused the increase.

Its because adults refuse to understand that kids of each generation are essentially the same as the kids previously, with a slightly different attitude and a slightly different set of clothing. But they still drink, they are probably going to smoke pot from time to time, and the best bet, as a parent, is to punish when caught, but ensure they are safe when they do it anyways.

Note: That doesn't mean to be the "cool" parent and host the house party.
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So the lesson here is that smart parents better sponsor the "Party Limo" that serves alcohol to teens or possibly get be liable for teenage drunk driving deaths?

Don't think so.

If the kids on the safe-they're-not-driving "Party Limo" got so sloshed that they fell into a river and drowned, do you think the parents would have said "Owell. Kids will be kids."
 
mikea said:
So the lesson here is that smart parents better sponsor the "Party Limo" that serves alcohol to teens or possibly get be liable for teenage drunk driving deaths?

Don't think so.

If the kids on the safe-they're-not-driving "Party Limo" got so sloshed that they fell into a river and drowned, do you think the parents would have said "Owell. Kids will be kids."
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That would in line with my last statement about not hosting the parties for kids. The idea of "They're going to drink, I'd rather they drink at home" is dumb, and very "hippyish." They're going to drink, as a parent, you should discourage it, but understand its going to happen.

House parties happen when the parents are out of town. The way it should be.
 
Nick, my young friend I gotta disagree with about everything you've written in the thread. I'm a parent, I have two teens. Both are going to homecoming, neither will be drinking alcohol or smoking anything. I gar-on-tee it.

Parents are parents, kids are kids. You think you're going to get away with drinking? You're not. I'm going to go with you - all night if needed, to see that this doesn't happen.

Now, as for the comparison to teen sex, again you're way off base. First, from the age of 16 in most states you're over the age of consent, so there's no law being broken as long as there is consent(unlike teen drinking). Next, unless you're doing it wrong, sex doesn't impair someone. Finally, it's hard to explain this but teen sex is about the most natural thing in their hormone-raging world.

I applaud the driver for being a parent/guardian. He tried first to contact a parent, who were probably too busy with their own self-absorbed lives to answer the phone. Next, he told the kids no, and without any recourse finally called the cops. For socialism sake, this is about the only kind of interference I not only tolerate, but admire. If you think kids drinking at homecoming is a foregone conclusion, you've already lost. My kids have been brought up right, and will make decisions that they can live with and still retain their friendship with people that they respect and respect them.

/rant
 
docmirror said:
Nick, my young friend I gotta disagree with about everything you've written in the thread. I'm a parent, I have two teens. Both are going to homecoming, neither will be drinking alcohol or smoking anything. I gar-on-tee it.
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I don't know your kids, and it would very presumptuous for me to say you're wrong. There are some kids that don't drink/do drugs, obviously....but they're a lot more rare than most parents would recognize. I hope you're right, as a sober Homecoming will probably be a lot more fun than a hazed over memory......as most adults would tell kids.

Parents are parents, kids are kids. You think you're going to get away with drinking? You're not. I'm going to go with you - all night if needed, to see that this doesn't happen.
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I did a lot of things my parents did not, and still do not know about. Really, the best a parent can do is educate and inform about as much stuff as possible and hope that the kid makes the right choice....and when you CATCH them making the wrong choice, taking corrective action to make sure they do not continue to do so.

Now, as for the comparison to teen sex, again you're way off base. First, from the age of 16 in most states you're over the age of consent, so there's no law being broken as long as there is consent(unlike teen drinking). Next, unless you're doing it wrong, sex doesn't impair someone. Finally, it's hard to explain this but teen sex is about the most natural thing in their hormone-raging world.
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I agree....without going too deep into spin zone territory, I am against all forms of sex ed because it is the parents' job to do so, however they feel is effective.

I applaud the driver for being a parent/guardian. He tried first to contact a parent, who were probably too busy with their own self-absorbed lives to answer the phone. Next, he told the kids no, and without any recourse finally called the cops. For socialism sake, this is about the only kind of interference I not only tolerate, but admire. If you think kids drinking at homecoming is a foregone conclusion, you've already lost. My kids have been brought up right, and will make decisions that they can live with and still retain their friendship with people that they respect and respect them.

/rant
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Contacting parents....right choice.
Telling the kids no.....right choice.
Calling the police......wrong choice.

The driver should have simply dropped the kids off and ended the contract, since they were in violation of the terms.
 
SkyHog said:
Contacting parents....right choice.
Telling the kids no.....right choice.
Calling the police......wrong choice.

The driver should have simply dropped the kids off and ended the contract, since they were in violation of the terms.
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Your opinion will change when you have a teen. Well, maybe. It sounds like you might be in the 'enabler' group.
 
SkyHog said:
Calling the police......wrong choice.

The driver should have simply dropped the kids off and ended the contract, since they were in violation of the terms.
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Dropped the kids off where? If it's not at the places he agreed to drop them off at, he'd get hammered for abandonment - and justifiably so.

Calling the police was about the only legal and responsible choice he had left. No, it's not a good one, unless you compare it to the others available.
 
docmirror said:
Your opinion will change when you have a teen. Well, maybe. It sounds like you might be in the 'enabler' group.
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How am I an enabler? I have said, time and again (not just in this thread), that all kids, including teens, are to be controlled heavily. But there are certain things you cannot control. Peer pressure is one of those things.

Lets put it this way, Doc, lets say (and I REALLY am being hypothetical, not talking about your kids in any negative way) your kids were going to drink during Homecoming.

#1, how would you know?
#2, how would you respond?

The only way you'd know in #1 would be to follow or escort them everywhere they go, which is depraving them of the necessary growth a normal teenager needs to meld with society properly. Or I suppose they could tell you or you accidentally stumbled upon them while out.

The only proper answer to #2 would be to punish the hell out of them to make them more reluctant to do it again. Or make them hide it better. Its their choice, unless you are willing to break bones or sew their mouth shut.

Remember, teens know teens. Adults are removed from teens by a few generations usually. I think rather than dismissing me as an enabler, it might be better to grasp the recently unteened and use that to your advantage instead.

But what do I know...I'm just a young whippersnapper.
 
I don't necessarily applaud the driver, but understand the reasons the driver would need to call the police. I'm sure it all deals with liability and preventing a lawsuit or even criminal charges if the teenagers happened to say something along the lines of "Oh, the booze is the driver's".

If I were in the driver's place, I'd do the same thing, for that exact reason.
 
Since I'm a product the '70's. And more importantly a product of Ste. Genevieve, MO, a German catholic town of about 5,000, where high school kids had keg parties in the city park every nice weekend. The city cops cruised through the park and wrote "park permits" to the various classes having parties and then patrolled every 30 minutes or so all night.

There were a few hundred kids in the park every Friday and Saturday night and no one was injured or died as a result of our overt delinquency. We actually paid for our senior trip and we paid for our first 4 class reunions from the proceeds.

Since I'm a product of that environment...It would probably be best that I keep my mouth shut on this topic.

It was a whole different (and far less litigious) world 30 years ago.
 
> Contacting parents....right choice.
> Telling the kids no.....right choice.
> Calling the police......wrong choice.
>
> The driver should have simply dropped the kids off and ended the contract,
> since they were in violation of the terms.

If the kids weren't breaking any laws, then, sure, calling the police would
be wrong. But if the kids WERE breaking the law, then calling the police
would in fact be absolutely correct.
 
wbarnhill said:
I'm sure it all deals with liability and preventing a lawsuit or even criminal charges if the teenagers happened to say something along the lines of "Oh, the booze is the driver's".

If I were in the driver's place, I'd do the same thing, for that exact reason.
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They wouldn't even have to claim the booze was his to get him in to trouble. In most states he'd be held accountable for making available to a minor since he's the only one of age in the car with it. And that's regardless of what role he had in actually providing it to them. He had no choice but to call the cops. I'd have done the same thing in his place too.
 
SkyHog said:
How am I an enabler? I have said, time and again (not just in this thread), that all kids, including teens, are to be controlled heavily. But there are certain things you cannot control. Peer pressure is one of those things.

Lets put it this way, Doc, lets say (and I REALLY am being hypothetical, not talking about your kids in any negative way) your kids were going to drink during Homecoming.

#1, how would you know?
#2, how would you respond?

The only way you'd know in #1 would be to follow or escort them everywhere they go, which is depraving them of the necessary growth a normal teenager needs to meld with society properly. Or I suppose they could tell you or you accidentally stumbled upon them while out.

The only proper answer to #2 would be to punish the hell out of them to make them more reluctant to do it again. Or make them hide it better. Its their choice, unless you are willing to break bones or sew their mouth shut.

Remember, teens know teens. Adults are removed from teens by a few generations usually. I think rather than dismissing me as an enabler, it might be better to grasp the recently unteened and use that to your advantage instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wait, wait, wait, no one's grasping the important point here:

The kids were responsible enough to not drive around getting hammered on Homecoming night, and instead, actually tried to respectfully hide the fact that they were drinking in the limo.
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Nick, everytime you post, we see that you still don't understand parenting. I guess you're not an enabler, but your attitude toward teens doesn't jibe with being a responsible parent. Words like 'respectfully hide' don't belong in teen vocabulary.

If you wanna know about my kids, either of them would come to me and tell me straight up. In fact, if they didn't tell me at the time, one of their honors society friends or band members, or bus drivers, coaches, or chaperons would call me - and here's a key point I would answer the phone, 7/24/365. As for what I would do, believe it or not, I've never hit my kids, much less break anything, or sew anything. I'd tell them not to do that anymore, and they would say 'okay' which would be the end of it.

And I think you meant 'depriving' not 'depraving', but I got the idea.
 
Bob Noel said:
If the kids weren't breaking any laws, then, sure, calling the police would be wrong. But if the kids WERE breaking the law, then calling the police would in fact be absolutely correct.
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Right, because the driver never had a drink before he was 21?


Doc, I understand that nobody here knows your children. With that said, I have friends in college and had friends in high school who drink/drank and their parents don't suspect/would have *never* suspected a thing. All really, really good kids - involved in a lot of activities.

I understand your children are 16, and that's still young, but at least be open to the fact that within the next 4 years, it's possible (even likely) that they will have a drink or two at a party.
 
>Right, because the driver never had a drink before he was 21?

so what?
 
Would you guys be interested in the perspective of a current high school senior?
 
corny357 said:
Right, because the driver never had a drink before he was 21?


Doc, I understand that nobody here knows your children. With that said, I have friends in college and had friends in high school who drink/drank and their parents don't suspect/would have *never* suspected a thing. All really, really good kids - involved in a lot of activities.

I understand your children are 16, and that's still young, but at least be open to the fact that within the next 4 years, it's possible (even likely) that they will have a drink or two at a party.
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We're not talking about the driver, we're talking about the teens. does no one understand the difference?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you're interested in a little wager on my kids drinking, I'm game. I have a 15YO and a 17YO. Both are headed to pre-med programs next year. Both are Honors grads. Both are way smarter than me(I'm only moderately smart). Both have seen me swill beer for years.

What'ya say, couple $$$$$? :cheerswine:
 
docmirror said:
If you're interested in a little wager on my kids drinking, I'm game. I have a 15YO and a 17YO. Both are headed to pre-med programs next year. Both are Honors grads. Both are way smarter than me(I'm only moderately smart). Both have seen me swill beer for years.

What'ya say, couple $$$$$? :cheerswine:
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Hmmm, I guess I could take a trip and put a touch of vodka into their sprite or something. Does that count? :D
 
docmirror said:
Nick, everytime you post, we see that you still don't understand parenting. I guess you're not an enabler, but your attitude toward teens doesn't jibe with being a responsible parent. Words like 'respectfully hide' don't belong in teen vocabulary.

If you wanna know about my kids, either of them would come to me and tell me straight up. In fact, if they didn't tell me at the time, one of their honors society friends or band members, or bus drivers, coaches, or chaperons would call me - and here's a key point I would answer the phone, 7/24/365. As for what I would do, believe it or not, I've never hit my kids, much less break anything, or sew anything. I'd tell them not to do that anymore, and they would say 'okay' which would be the end of it.

And I think you meant 'depriving' not 'depraving', but I got the idea.
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Doc I think something is getting all discombobulated here. You are respondeing to Andrew's threads as if they are Nicks something is messed up with the qoute system
 
AdamZ said:
Doc I think something is getting all discombobulated here. You are respondeing to Andrew's threads as if they are Nicks something is messed up with the qoute system
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It looks OK to me.

I think you're pushing the wrong button. :D:D

I'M the one who had the bourbon, too.
 
purdue1014 said:
Would you guys be interested in the perspective of a current high school senior?
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Honestly, I think you are probably the best one to say what kids are doing nowadays, I am almost 10 years removed from high school, and most of the parents are at least 2 decades out. But a lot of parents do not want to listen to the ones that would know, because they feel the youngsters have not earned the right to tell them what they have wrong.

docmirror said:
We're not talking about the driver, we're talking about the teens. does no one understand the difference?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you're interested in a little wager on my kids drinking, I'm game. I have a 15YO and a 17YO. Both are headed to pre-med programs next year. Both are Honors grads. Both are way smarter than me(I'm only moderately smart). Both have seen me swill beer for years.

What'ya say, couple $$$$$? :cheerswine:
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I wouldn't put money on it, but Doc, I was not a dumb kid, nor were most of the kids I partied with. In fact, most of the honor roll kids in my school were the ones that were doing the harder drugs, because they knew they could get away with it.

Again, I don't know your kids, so its possible that your kids do not do any of that....but to honestly think that your kids tell you everything that's going on? I think you'd be surprised what you are not told.
 
SkyHog said:
Again, I don't know your kids, so its possible that your kids do not do any of that....but to honestly think that your kids tell you everything that's going on? I think you'd be surprised what you are not told.
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Yes, I'm quite sure of it. Well, maybe a bit of hanky-panky by the 17YO with the ladies, but that falls under 'I don't wanna know, don't get anyone pregnant' segment of privacy. If I ask him he would tell me everything. It's all in knowing what to ask, and what not to ask. I realize this is a novel concept, but it works.
 
To my knowledge, neither of my kids partied like that when they were teeagers. But if they did, they were really discrete about it, cause I never smelled alcohol on them. And our daughter's friends thought we were liberal because of the privileges she had. Only time anyone has ever applied the term "liberal" to me. But she knew there was a line that she'd better not cross, or all those privileges would vanish in an instant. We were happy to have her parties at our place. We knew where she was and who she was with. Sophomore year in high school we even allowed an over night coed party. Of course, my wife and I got minimal sleep that night chaperoning the whole thing. Trust, but verify. And the standing offer was that if they were out at a party and either had something to drink or with riding with someone who drank, call and we'd pick them up. No questions, no fight. We wanted them home safe. Never had to go get them. Now, I know they drank in college. No doubt in my mind. But the bars were within walking distance of their houses.

That limo driving was right. He really didn't have a choice.
 
Nick is a little bit naive about parenting, but I'll go out on a limb here and state that, when he is a parent, he will use his extensive knowledge of the "hows and whys" of teen-aged parent deception to make damned sure his kids don't do that stuff.

I think that they will not get away with squat.

Irony abounds, don't it?
 
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