Holy smokes!

[Bill]

My wife went flying with me!

I've had my ticket since November, and Saturday evening my wife finally went for a flight. The plan was to fly from CHA down to Rome (RMG), grab a bite at the Prop Stop, then fly home. 44mn each way, had the club Skyhawk for the evening.

Weather looked great, winds aloft <5kts, calm surface winds each location. Ground vis at CHA was reported 7, and conditions were to improve thru the evening. Typical summertime pattern in the southeast, nice flying but for the haze.

We depart, and she is very quiet, but says she is hanging in there (meaning scared silly). My 2.5 year old daughter is chatting away on the intercom and seems to me enjoying the flight.

About half way, dep calls out traffic 12 o'clock, 5 miles, 3500, headed westbound, type unknown. I'd put flight vis at about 4.5, and we're at 3500 headed 175. Then my wife sorta freaks, "My first flight, and there is another airplane that can hit us? I can't even see it, what are you going to do." "I'll fly along for another 30sec, and if we don't have him, we'll call dep and see if he's still a factor." "I really don't like this." So, I punch the button and call dep, and he reports traffic now 2 o'clock 3.5 miles, same altitude and heading. "See, the traffic has already passed our course, but we'll still try to get an eyeball on him." "He could still turn back and hit us, I want to go home."

Ah, the magic words. At the beginning of the flight, I told her she was the boss, and I was merely the driver, and if she wanted to turn back, land, whatever, it was her call. So, "You're the boss, we'll turn back." "Thank you!".

So I call dep and tell him we want to return, and we get vectored back to CHA where I plant an extremely smooth landing on runway 20, thus ending our first flight, 44mn, 26 minutes.

Her first opinion was that she was glad she did it, but doubted she wanted to fly again. But, as the weekend progressed, she said that she thinks she might want to try some short flights on nice smooth evenings.

Yes, there is possibility! I'm very happy. At church Sunday morning, the little one told her friends she "went flying with Daddy."

So, how is the best way to educate her about traffic, traffic avoidance, etc., without scaring her?

 

[gismo]

So, how is the best way to educate her about traffic, traffic avoidance, etc., without scaring her?

First, I'd try for more vis next flight with her. It's possible that she was more apprehensive since the haze was noticeable. If it were clear and a million (or even under a 5000 ft ceiling with horizon to horizon visibility like you get after cold front passage) she might be more comfortable and you'd be able to spot most traffic called.

Second, you can always ask for a vector around the traffic. Chances are she would (undeservedly) give ATC more credit than you for traffic avoidance. I'd bet that she would assume that as long as you complied with the vector, no harm would come from the threat. You could also climb (high wing) or descend (low wing) a couple hundred feet when you receive a traffic call and tell her that this eliminates (most of) the threat (leave out the "most of" part when you explain). BTW I generally turn on my landing lights whenever I am given traffic between 10 and 2 o'clock to make it easier for the other traffic to see me, but I doubt that would make your wife feel safer.

I'm sure you know the midair risk is extremely low especially outside the traffic pattern, but I suspect that such statistical information won't do much for your wife. It's always amazing to me that so many people never give a second thought to cars coming at them on an undivided highway with closing speeds of 100-150 mph but the thought of another airplane within 10 miles gives them the chills. I think that just goes to show that most any experience becomes routine if repeated enough times. The upside of this is that it's likely that she will lose the midair paranoia after a few more flights. You could probably accelerate that process by giving her something to concentrate on during the flight such as following along on a chart etc.

 

[Bill]

First, I'd try for more vis next flight with her.

Well, in the southeast, from mid-June to mid-September, 4-5 flight vis is pretty much par for the course. Once in a while we will get a strong cold front that may clear out the haze for a day or so after passage, but along with the clear skies comes wind and turb. Given the choice between smooth/haze or clear/turb, I'd think she'd take the haze.

It's always amazing to me that so many people never give a second thought to cars coming at them on an undivided highway with closing speeds of 100-150 mph but the thought of another airplane within 10 miles gives them the chills.

Never thought of it like that, but quite true.

I think that just goes to show that most any experience becomes routine if repeated enough times.

True, she rides on the back of the motorcycle without a second thought.

You could probably accelerate that process by giving her something to concentrate on during the flight such as following along on a chart etc.

I tried, but she wasn't interested in "helping" yet.

 

[inav8r]

Baby steps!

I took my wife up with my instructor, and she says she'll fly with me again, but the first time we fly w/ out the instructor she just wants something short and sweet and local. Maybe you can ease her into an XC after a couple of shorter flights.

 

[Ken Ibold]

You might also think of a night flight. Make it a date, especially if there is a NICE airport restaurant somewhere nearby. Point out that there aren't many lights in the sky, so airplanes are very noticeable. It may also solve the sweat/haze problem.

Oops. Women don't sweat. I meant the GLOW/haze problem.

 

[Len Lanetti]

Well, in the southeast, from mid-June to mid-September, 4-5 flight vis is pretty much par for the course. Once in a while we will get a strong cold front that may clear out the haze for a day or so after passage, but along with the clear skies comes wind and turb.

Bill,

I know from my own life it is hard to organize last minute stuff like a ride in the plane but typically the second day after a strong cold front the visibility will still be good but the wind and turbulence will have died down.

As I'm sure you know:

• Early morning before the ground and air heats up is a good time for a flight. We went to breakfast at nearby airports after early Sunday Mass a few times. First two or three times the other airports were only 15-20 minutes flight time away. On the way home I took short detours to sight see and get everyone used to flying around. Those trips went well.
• As someone else mentioned, possibly an early evening flight when the sun has started down, possibly with a return to your home base after sunset.
• Altitude is your friend. It is cooler, visibility is better, fewer bumps from uneven heating of the earth's surface and less traffic. I try to use a nice shallow 250-500 FPM climb. The passengers will hardly notice the pitch attitude and in a few minutes the cockpit will have cooled. On a recent trip the kids were wearing shorts in the back seat and they had to put a blanket over their legs at 8,500.
• I try to drive to the airport ahead of the family. I preflight, load up the plane and try to be ready to go as soon as the family pulls up. This way they aren't getting board or thinking about "what ifs" while I'm busy doing plane stuff.

Good luck.

Len

P.S. Thanks for the reputation point on the boiling water post. :<)

LL

 

[Bill]

Make it a date, especially if there is a NICE airport restaurant somewhere nearby.

She does think that she will only want to fly if there is a good destination in mind, but does not just want to fly around sightseeing.

 

[Bill]

Altitude is your friend. It is cooler, visibility is better, fewer bumps from uneven heating of the earth's surface and less traffic. I try to use a nice shallow 250-500 FPM climb. The passengers will hardly notice the pitch attitude and in a few minutes the cockpit will have cooled. On a recent trip the kids were wearing shorts in the back seat and they had to put a blanket over their legs at 8,500.

I like altitude too, but for a short 44nm hop, I didn't want to spend the entire flight climbing/decending. Although it was warm on the ground, OAT was a nice comfortable 72F at 3500.

 

[Ken Ibold]

She does think that she will only want to fly if there is a good destination in mind, but does not just want to fly around sightseeing.

My wife is the same way, and has been the same way for 15 years. She has never even gotten in our Citabria, which we've owned more than 4 years. Traveling airplanes are just fine with her, because they are means to an end.

 

[Bill]

My wife is the same way, and has been the same way for 15 years. She has never even gotten in our Citabria, which we've owned more than 4 years. Traveling airplanes are just fine with her, because they are means to an end.

Yup, and that is why I think I'll end up with the Citabria. Besides, just the stack in our club Archer would cost more than a good Citabria, and I've gotten used to using those goodies on longer trips.

 

[Dave Krall CFII]

Does she ignore, or not know, about the airliners she flys in routinely being 1 or 2000 feet separation or less ?

 

[Kyle Thornley]

I would tell her that that is exactly what ATC is doing for you, letting you know there is another vehicle in your vacinity, and if the space gets too close you would be instructed to vector out of the way. My wife was not a good flyer in the early days either, although her problem was motion sickness. As a result, there had to be a destination. Flying circles was never going to happen. Before too long boredom over took her and she picked up the 'map', found that "hey that lake down there looks just like the picture." To which I said "that's because it IS that lake. Her reply was that I "just didn't understand it was EXACTLY like that lake." She has now become the official Navigator and Frequency Tuner (although she still calls it a map), which makes her so comfortable that she is now talking about at least learning how to land the thing "just in case". Just let out some line before you try to set the hook.

 

[Anthony]

My wife SLEEPS on ALL flights with me from the moment we establish cruise until we enter the pattern.

 

[ejensen]

Mine sleeps a lot too, especially above 10,000. She's pretty good passenger now, no more white knuckles, as long as we are going somewhere. But given a choice car or plane Saturday morning (rain, imc) she didn't go with me.

Eric

 

[Ghery]

I would tell her that that is exactly what ATC is doing for you, letting you know there is another vehicle in your vacinity, and if the space gets too close you would be instructed to vector out of the way. My wife was not a good flyer in the early days either, although her problem was motion sickness. As a result, there had to be a destination. Flying circles was never going to happen. Before too long boredom over took her and she picked up the 'map', found that "hey that lake down there looks just like the picture." To which I said "that's because it IS that lake. Her reply was that I "just didn't understand it was EXACTLY like that lake." She has now become the official Navigator and Frequency Tuner (although she still calls it a map), which makes her so comfortable that she is now talking about at least learning how to land the thing "just in case". Just let out some line before you try to set the hook.

When we're making one of our cross state (Washington) flights my wife has the sectional in her lap with her finger where she thinks we are. GPS couldn't do better. I use the low altitude enroute chart (even though I'm flying VFR) as I'm following the victor airways and it takes less paper to cross the state. Between the two of us we have an excellent idea where we are at all times. Last year she even got the point of dozing off during the flight. Progress!

 

[ErikU]

Talk to your doctor and get some Xanex,. it works wonders,.. really. The more often she goes, the less she will need.