Just looked at a few flightplans from yesterday that had alternates filed. I am able to look at the exact message sent to the ATC ERAM computer. The NAS flightplan message does not include the alternate airport. The ICAO flightplan does include the alternate information, in fact it provides for up to two alternates, a primary alternate and a secondary alternate. This doesn't change any expectation with respect to the alternate use under the lost com situation nor is there any requirement to stick with the destination or the alternate.
From my discussion with many controllers, what they really want is for the pilot to get safely on the ground as soon as possible. Plans are plans. Based on actual updated conditions or known conditions, any prudent pilot will modify their plan with the new information. There was a fatal accident which involved an aircraft eventually running out of fuel because the weather at both the destination and the alternate deteriorated to below minimums. This was not a lost com situation. The pilot flew on to his destination with widespread IFR below minimums, while he bypassed VFR airports just 50 miles to the north of much of his route.