Flying issues with the other half..

ScottinIowa

ScottinIowa

Pre-takeoff checklist
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ScottinIowa
We're trying, but she's been up with me three times. Twice we got a couple miles from the field and she immediately said "take me back." The other time she gutted it out, but it was tough for her. Any advice? Anybody else have this problem? Obviously if we can't share this passion, it's going to be rough on me trying to enjoy it alone. Just keep trying?
 
My wife does not like to fly. She'll put up with it but does not enjoy it. And that means I don't enjoy it either. So we have a deal. She's welcome to come flying with me whenever she wants, but I don't ask her any more.
 
GRG55 said:
My wife does not like to fly. She'll put up with it but does not enjoy it. And that means I don't enjoy it either. So we have a deal. She's welcome to come flying with me whenever she wants, but I don't ask her any more.
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Man, I hope we don't end up like that. I envision taking many weekend trips here and there together, and doing them alone wouldn't be the same at all.
 
maybe it's not her, it's you? I KID, I KID. no idea what to recommend. is it too hot in the plane? what doesn't she like? maybe she would feel more comfortable going up with an instructor a couple of times? I dunno…….
 
Truthfully, you probably won’t solve this issue. Some folks just don’t like flying/small planes. My mom absolutely hates them (although commercial flying doesn’t bother her to the slightest degree).
 
Get her behind the wheel...er....yoke.

Learning what it takes to keep the plane in the air may take some of her trepidations away. See if she will go up with an instructor for a couple short flights.
 
What bothered her? Is she fine or commercial flights?

Unless you are planning on traveling this way it's not a big deal. You do your hobby and she does hers.

My wife flies with me, but only when we're going somewhere. If I'm going up for fun or practice approaches she doesn't go. At first she was leary as she has some motion sensitivity, but now thinks nothing of us breaking out low on an approach.



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CC268 said:
Truthfully, you probably won’t solve this issue. Some folks just don’t like flying/small planes. My mom absolutely hates them (although commercial flying doesn’t bother her to the slightest degree).
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Funny, my mom is the exact same way.

To the OP, I say keep trying and find out what she isn’t liking. The grim reality is that flying may not be for her, but I’d try to take baby steps and see what, if anything would make her feel more comfortable.
 
My wife doesn’t like to fly, but will tolerate commercial flights. She has absolutely no desire to go with me on a flight. I too have stopped asking and now treat my flights as “guy time” or “alone time” as needed.
 
Groundpounder said:
My wife loves flying, in fact she sometimes badgers me to take her flying. She is also all for buying an airplane. I am pretty lucky.
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Lucky here, too. She enjoys flying, and we’re actively looking for a pinch hitter course. We had to leave Oshkosh on Thursday morning, but she’s been on the webcams and watching the airshows on Livestream ever since we got home. One might not be surprised if it was her first trip to KOSH, but it was her 6th...
 
My wife just started taking lessons toward her private license. She has been bit by the aviation bug. Somehow that new kitchen we were thinking of getting might be an airplane instead. This after 34 years together. It's pretty cool.


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I got my ticket in April. My wife hated all forms of flying, including commercial. I chose to show her the utility value and she “likes” it. We have travelled to Disney, the beach twice and a couple of dinners and such.

A solid glass of wine beforehand helps too according to her.
 
eman1200 said:
maybe it's not her, it's you? I KID, I KID. no idea what to recommend. is it too hot in the plane? what doesn't she like? maybe she would feel more comfortable going up with an instructor a couple of times? I dunno…….
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This is what she's suggested too. I think it's probably a good idea.
 
CC268 said:
Truthfully, you probably won’t solve this issue. Some folks just don’t like flying/small planes. My mom absolutely hates them (although commercial flying doesn’t bother her to the slightest degree).
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She loves flying commercial as well..
 
wayne said:
What bothered her? Is she fine or commercial flights?

Unless you are planning on traveling this way it's not a big deal. You do your hobby and she does hers.

My wife flies with me, but only when we're going somewhere. If I'm going up for fun or practice approaches she doesn't go. At first she was leary as she has some motion sensitivity, but now thinks nothing of us breaking out low on an approach.



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She's loves commercial flights.. We plan on taking a lot of weekend trips here and there to discover new places. It would be very unfortunate if I can't break her of this. I think she has a little motion sensitivity as well. I told her she'll get used to it, but she's all freaked out about it now.
 
Groundpounder said:
My wife loves flying, in fact she sometimes badgers me to take her flying. She is also all for buying an airplane. I am pretty lucky.
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Count your lucky stars, you’ve got a good woman.
 
Tommar98 said:
My wife just started taking lessons toward her private license. She has been bit by the aviation bug. Somehow that new kitchen we were thinking of getting might be an airplane instead. This after 34 years together. It's pretty cool.


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That's pretty awesome..
 
Kelvin said:
Take her somewhere...not just "up" .

Once she see's that the plane has real utility value, she may find it more palatable.
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Had a small trip (100 miles) planned a couple weeks ago, but wx caused us to cancel..
 
My wife isn’t a fan either. She tolerates it because we can get there quicker, but she prefers to ride in the back when we go. Interestingly, she gets serious vertigo just touching the yoke, lol. However, she also relented and let me purchase a plane, as long as she got to dictate what it was (Twin).

My mother was scared to death the first time I took her flying. She was so excited up until the wheels left the ground. Until I could get the plane back on the runway, I seriously thought she was going to jump out. She felt she was better off plummeting to her death vs flying in the -172 we were in, lol. Something about hanging off the bottom of the wing didn’t sit well with her. She pesters me frequently about taking her for a ride in our new plane. I continue to stiff arm her as I don’t want to have to deal with a panic attack in a plane I’m trying to fly.
 
My avionics instructor encourages all his students to at least take a Discovery Flight, and explains the benefits of being able to fly, and not just pull wire.
For those who have anxiety issues, he tells about HIS wife . . . it took THREE trips to the airport to get her to close and latch the door! There's hope. :)

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I forgot to mention: when my wife gets nervous (usually on approach to landing), she takes her phone out and films the landing. I guess that lets her mentally detach herself from the activity. On the plus side, I have a few landing videos of myself, lol.
 
Some people don’t like the feeling of being stuck in a small plane, and there’s probably not much way around that unless it’s an air sickness kind of feeling which does have potential remedies.

But you really don’t want to pressure her into it either. You might have to come up with some compromises for your weekend getaways regarding travel plans, if possible.

Is she an animal lover? Maybe you can fly some PnP missions with her.

I didn’t think my wife would be into it but she was completely fine. She just sleeps the entire time, even in turbulence that makes it feel like the wings will soon depart. Of course her main beef is that it’s just cheaper to fly commercial.
 
A couple of the guys in my former (yippee!) club are with ladies who will fly if they're going somewhere they want to go. No Osh, or BBQ runs for them, but if they pick the destination and the flight is incidental they'll jump in, and usually ride in the back seat and sleep the whole way. (C177RG and PA32-300 are comfy in the back)
 
Same exact boat!! In fact a trip today got scrubbed much to my pushing. Her words, “terrified” in a small plane.
So here is what I did.
1. She got some meds from her doc..that only gets you part way.
2. Pick a very short trip that would be a horrible drive. We went to a place that was a 30 min flight in the 182 that would have been a two hour drive.
3. Good ANC headset with Bluetooth. Don’t want to let the noise get to her.
4. Persistence. Not a weekend goes by that I don’t mention it would be a great day to go here for bfast or lunch.
5. Pick good time of day or weather.
Smooth weather makes a huge difference compared to getting your head kicked in on the summer east coast turb.
6. Distraction. Just because you think it’s cool to fly doesn’t mean she will. Don’t push the look at what we’re doing. My wife lost reip never looked outside. Head down doing crosswords the entire time. In fact next flight she said she’s wearing my hood.

Now today I proposed a trip and lost. She was close to agreeing and to her credit some of the timing wouldn’t have worked out. The flight would have been an hour today vs 4 hour car ride with two screaming kids. Almost had it it a go. Next week will be a another try I’d weather works out. I’m doinf my IR training ans I think two things will definitely help my cause by getting the IR. One is that we will be able to leave crappy weather and two is the IR flying is generally a lot smoother then the VFR summer flights!
 
Banjo33 said:
I forgot to mention: when my wife gets nervous (usually on approach to landing), she takes her phone out and films the landing. I guess that lets her mentally detach herself from the activity. On the plus side, I have a few landing videos of myself, lol.
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Mine gets to the point she can't even look forward. She just looks down. I think a lot of it might be motion sensitivity.
 
benyflyguy said:
Same exact boat!! In fact a trip today got scrubbed much to my pushing. Her words, “terrified” in a small plane.
So here is what I did.
1. She got some meds from her doc..that only gets you part way.
2. Pick a very short trip that would be a horrible drive. We went to a place that was a 30 min flight in the 182 that would have been a two hour drive.
3. Good ANC headset with Bluetooth. Don’t want to let the noise get to her.
4. Persistence. Not a weekend goes by that I don’t mention it would be a great day to go here for bfast or lunch.
5. Pick good time of day or weather.
Smooth weather makes a huge difference compared to getting your head kicked in on the summer east coast turb.
6. Distraction. Just because you think it’s cool to fly doesn’t mean she will. Don’t push the look at what we’re doing. My wife lost reip never looked outside. Head down doing crosswords the entire time. In fact next flight she said she’s wearing my hood.

Now today I proposed a trip and lost. She was close to agreeing and to her credit some of the timing wouldn’t have worked out. The flight would have been an hour today vs 4 hour car ride with two screaming kids. Almost had it it a go. Next week will be a another try I’d weather works out. I’m doinf my IR training ans I think two things will definitely help my cause by getting the IR. One is that we will be able to leave crappy weather and two is the IR flying is generally a lot smoother then the VFR summer flights!
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Today was frustrating because the winds were calm to less than 5 knots. We only get a handful of these days a year and it still didn't work so I don't know.. She's open to keep trying so there's that..
 
ScottinIowa said:
Mine gets to the point she can't even look forward. She just looks down. I think a lot of it might be motion sensitivity.
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Didn't I read somewhere that the cure for motion sensitivity is to focus on a point OUTSIDE the cockpit? Yah, I really did. And I think it was on a test somewhere. But as a reminder:

How to Alleviate Airsickness
  • Get fresh air. Open the air vents and windows if possible. Try to cool off.
  • Look outside at the fixed point on the horizon and make all turns, climbs, and descents very shallow. Keep your head as still as possible
  • Use supplemental oxygen, if available.
  • If you're the pilot not flying and you're skill level allows it, ask to take the controls. Focusing your attention on one thing can keep your mind off of feeling sick.

What Not to Do
  • If you're a passenger, don't read while flying.
  • Don't put your head down.
 
ScottinIowa said:
Today was frustrating because the winds were calm to less than 5 knots. We only get a handful of these days a year and it still didn't work so I don't know.. She's open to keep trying so there's that..
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What is hilarious is that she will fly in my buddy’s MU-2 when we go somewhere with them, still requires meds and distraction. I did tell her in order to fly bigger planes I need to fly smaller planes. (And make a crap-ton more money.). The 182 suits us nice for now with size of kids. Long term plan in 5 years is a piston twin.
 
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