FAA ramp check... anybody ever had one?

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Better stay out of the East, They hit Masons in the head in the East
That is not true :no: we run the world and if they hit any one of us we will buy the bank that owns their mortgage and foreclose on that mutha! :yes:

Think back to your 3rd degree
 
There I was, at the AME, back in '86 or so. Nice leather couch. A light rain was caressing the windows in his dimly lit office while Kenny G poured from the Bose on the mahogany bookcase the way that a genie slowly comes out of his lamp. We talked about my string of recent DUIs and how we could easily get that ADD thing cleared up since I had stopped taking those silly drugs at least two days ago. He asked if I had to pee. Of course, I said, on account of all that whisky we were sharing. No ice. I gave him his urine specimen for the mandatory Third Class drug screen. He looked deep into my eyes for my eye exam, winked, and said, "You pass, sailor, but there's just one more thing..." Thats right, you guessed it: the prostate exam. And then I got rump checked. By the FAA. F****** A-hole AME. It still hurts when I slip to the left on short final.
 
Never in a GA airplane. I've been ramped a few times while flying 135, and as others have said it was mostly a BS session after showing the typical paperwork. I did have one guy tell me he didn't think it was legal to have the airplane's data plate attached to the bottom of the rudder, but I explained that it came from Wichita like that, and he didn't take it any further.
 
Once landed at an airport in the 64 where the FAA was doing ramp checks. He came out to see the helicopter and we talked for a while. I went inside and a young pilot in there asked if we got ramp checked. I guess? Never in my Arrow though.
 
In regards to the masons, I have been asked three times by friends to join. I said nope. Never saw the point in such groups.

In regards to ramp checks, they are a piece of cake if you have your ducks in a row. Nothing to worry about or fret over unless you are the type who likes to just do things his way rather than doing what the regs say. Following the rules is easy. Explaining why you didn't is harder.
 
Once in GA. Young rookie paying his dues on a July 4th around 6:00 pm. Many times in the airline bidness. No problems ever except the one time in Denver when two Feds showed up for a check with no IDs. Promptly told them to go get their IDs and don't come back until they had them. They never came back. I guess that in itself was a ramp check. Did ream an FBI guy a new ******* for not following protocol when he boarded a flight in the middle of boarding. LEO's and armed personnel are supposed to preboard before all pax. Had a FA call him up front up, stepped outside. Read him the riot act about not following protocol. He demanded my name and said I will report it also...what is your name? Never heard a word about it.

Noah W
 
Rampers are no big deal - the paperwork belongs to uncle sam - and if he wants to see it - why not. You need to ALWAYS have the paperwork right - thats all that matters. These days, the paperwork is ALWAYS right.

I have two stories:

Funny story - I had a guy who had a hangar next to me a couple years ago. He used to bring his girl friend into the hangar for nooners. I knew he was married- but what did I care? His place was set up nice - couch, a couple chairs, fridge, TV, desk, lap top, etc. He had a high wing - us low wing guys don't have room for that stuff! Well, I'm changing the oil one gorgeous April day and my hangar is open and his is cracked to let a little light in - I know whats going on when the music starts but his taste is the same as mine - so its cool. FAA guys drive up in a pick up truck - with the FAA FSDO decal on the door. They come in and watch me change the oil shooting the crap and ask to see my paperwork - I'm like - hey - can I finish? Wait until at least I'm stripping my gloves off, ok?

OK - Sir, no problem - is there an airplane in the hangar next door? I said, yeah. You prob don't want to bother him right now. One of the guys goes all Barney Fife, walks over and knocks and slides the door open as he knocks. I hear a female shriek and the guy comes back around the corner quick - and says I was right. Said he'd give them a couple minutes. By then I had the oil filter safety wired and was putting in the oil. I heard them chuckling a little and they walked back to the truck and said 'have a nice day.'

Story #2. Same Hangar. 2011 or so. I'm preflighting. I had one of the first iPad mini's. I had a W&B calculator app on it. Configured for my airplane. They strolled over and asked to see my pilot cert, medical, aircraft reg and AW - and then said 'lets see your W&B for this flight.' I looked at them like they were crazy - single pilot in a Comanche? So I whipped out the ipad - opened the program - put in my weight and fuel on board and they looked at me like I was crazy. Had never seen it before. They asked again - I SAID THATS IT! They would not let me leave until I showed them the W&B weight form in the onboard PoH and they compared placements. It took forever. "You could see the wheels spinning" is not a metaphor. They were looking for ways to violate me - and finally they walked off and asked if they could call me tomorrow. I said sure - use this number.

They never did. But it brought back memories of red tagging the airplane with the Q-tip prop. . . .
 
16 years, no ramp checks. But, there's always the next time I'm at the airport.
 
Well, I was thinking once of flying to Put-in Bay on a busy summer weekend (a holiday weekend I think, but I'm not certain any more). I thought better of it because I wasn't in the mood for drunken crowds. Later I learned that the FAA was out there ramping planes that day. So I narrowly missed getting ramped.

That's the closest I've ever come so far. Some day I'm sure it will happen though.
 
danhagan said:
rQUOTE="JonH, post: 2259186, member: 29897"]I came close, but he passed me up for someone with a GoPro mounted to the fuselage. I never heard how that panned out.
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For FAA, mine was the same. I entered the pattern and the FBO indicated that FAA was there and singled me out for ramp check. In the pattern I got cut off, then entering the FBO the same pilot cuts me off at the door. FAA guy asked if I had my certificate and medical, I indicated yes and he let me go on my way without me even showing them. They saw the "inside" move the other guy did (and my patterns are tight) and had more interest there:eek:

Now here on the border it is common to get sheriff/police/LEO stops as well as Border Patrol. If at night, they wait in the dark until just prior to shutdown then haul rear and block you. It's real aggravating and I've told them because initially it isn't clear who they are with headlights aimed at you.

Worst was Deming NM at night. Barney Fife (sheriff) told me I was flying without a flight plan and landed illegally (there's a Notam for all lights on due to drone activity at night in that area quite often). Stuck a headset on his head and reconnected with ABQ CTR who indicated what FF was and that a flight plan was not necessary. He then tried to tell me my Nav lights were backwards and that the red one is supposed to be on the right:confused:. Had to stay cool, because a pilot that landed in Lordsburg NM just up the road was arrested and held over the weekend without charge a couple of weeks earlier.:mad:

Edit: On the Deming flight, the sheriff wouldn't allow the phone to be used as he thought I was calling a friend and not flight service or ABQ by phone. Insisted on the radio connect ...[/QUOTE]
I would have been arrested..... possibly. That would have really ****ed me off. That's the kind of stupid **** that hurts the relationship between the community and law enforcement. Frankly I would spend every penny I had during the agency responsible for having someone that fundamentally ignorant to the constitution working.
 
azblackbird said:
Just wondering if anybody here has ever had a ramp check, and if so what became of it? I can understand if your clearing customs where that might be a possibility, but if your strictly a domestic flyer have you ever had an FAA contact?
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You have no idea what it's like to be good-looking.
 
I flew for at least twenty years before having my only ramp check so far. It was at the self-service fuel pump at Lancaster, CA (WJF), on a trip from the Phoenix area to my home base in Palo Alto (PAO). The inspector from the LA Basin was very courteous, and the only problem I had was that there was a strong wind (as there has been every time I have landed at that airport), and a piece of (fortunately non-essential) paper from my wallet blew away. I mentioned whom I rented the Cutlass from, and he said it was a good outfit. I was surprised that they had a reputation at a FSDO almost 300 miles from home.
 
those Piper Cherokee pitot tubes stuck into the back of the head are very painfull.........I only know that from maintenance duties, LOL
 
If you are ramp checked, do they expect a W&B calc for your flight? Most of my flights are with the same plane, same fuel, and just me, so I don't do a W&B each time. Somebody once suggested printing a W&B for my normal flight configuration and keeping it in my flight bag just in case, might be a good idea.
 
ColoPilot said:
Most of my flights are with the same plane, same fuel, and just me, so I don't do a W&B each time. Somebody once suggested printing a W&B for my normal flight configuration and keeping it in my flight bag just in case, might be a good idea.
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I've never been ramped, but I printed a W&B with four scenarios, most forward (full fuel, no baggage), most aft (no fuel, max baggage), max weight (full fuel & baggage), and min weight (no fuel, no baggage) and keep that in the plane. All are within limits. Since it's a single seat and I'm the only one who flies it, that doesn't change so I never have to worry about it.
 
I thought the W in "AROW" referred to the weight & balance report that's often part of the POH - the one that indicates the empty weight and location of the empty weight CG, and is occasionally revised to reflect equipment changes (see below).

Are we required to immediately produce a weight & balance calculation for a particular flight?

W_and_B_Reports.jpg


Source: https://goo.gl/oFhDWk
 
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I would think you would need to be able to show you're in W&B


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
register@teamandras.com said:
I thought the W in "AROW" referred to the weight & balance report that's often part of the POH - the one that indicates the empty weight and location of the empty weight CG, and is occasionally revised to reflect equipment changes (see below).

Are we required to immediately produce a weight & balance calculation for a particular flight?

W_and_B_Reports.jpg


Source: https://goo.gl/oFhDWk
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No, just be within the envelope - you don't need to do a calculation if you know that's the case, as in flying alone in a 172, for example.
 
Dana said:
I've never been ramped, but I printed a W&B with four scenarios, most forward (full fuel, no baggage), most aft (no fuel, max baggage), max weight (full fuel & baggage), and min weight (no fuel, no baggage) and keep that in the plane. All are within limits. Since it's a single seat and I'm the only one who flies it, that doesn't change so I never have to worry about it.
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Yes, I do the same. Covers all the extreme scenarios...the cg is too far aft only with me and a 200-lb passenger, less than 5 gal. of fuel and more than 90 lb. in the cargo area, and I've never had more than 20 lb. back there.
 
denverpilot said:
Note to self. Nooners at nice hangar only possible with high wing. In interest of keeping options open that I don't need... never buy low wing. LOL.
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Just get a bigger hangar...my low wing and couch fit in my hangar just fine.
 
denverpilot said:
Note to self. Nooners at nice hangar only possible with high wing. In interest of keeping options open that I don't need... never buy low wing. LOL.
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That's the type of things you need to know as a CFI. What if a student asks you if they should purchase a low wing or high wing? They probably never considered the illicit affair tradeoff.
 
denverpilot said:
Note to self. Nooners at nice hangar only possible with high wing. In interest of keeping options open that I don't need... never buy low wing. LOL.
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Actually, low wings work well, your "nooner" participant can just bend over the wing. Works very well with the "Hershey bar wings" on the old Cherokees
 
I've had one and a near miss! I had been in a bad accident and wasn't a fan of the FAA. I bought my current plane in Wisconsin and was flying it back to Texas. I needed a bathroom break and spotted a nice little grass strip with 3 airplanes tied down and one hangar. I looked it up and it was a county owned airport and the runway was listed in great condition, so I landed. I fully expected to jump out, hit the restroom and get back in. I saw a guy in a white shirt and black tie walking toward me. He said hello, I'm Rick with the FAA. I laughed and said BS. He looked surprised and said, "No, I really am." We went through the paperwork and when he asked for my medical I couldn't find it. It turned out I had left it in my hangar back at home. He told me it was no problem, that he would just check it later. Then he asked if I really had a medical and just didn't have it on me or if I just didn't have one. I told him I had one, but I was traveling and must have left it at home. He said, as long as you have one, you're okay. If you don't have one, I'm going to find out and I'll come after you later. Not sure if it was the stress of just buying a plane and having a long trip ahead of me, or the fact that I despise the FAA, but I snapped. "What did I tell you? I told you I have a medical but I forgot it. Did I tell you I don't have one? Stop threatening me and either ground me or let's wrap this up." The poor guy looked shocked. He said he was sorry. He reminded me he could ground me, but he was working with me and asked why I was so upset with him. We had a nice conversation and it ended up being a good day. Before anyone points it out... yes, I was in the wrong.

The second one was when I flew into a local airport on the day before an airshow. I saw a guy in a neon yellow shirt and hat, carrying a clipboard. He was talking to every plane that looked like an airshow plane when they landed. I finished my water and figured he was just checking in the acts as they arrived. I got in my plane, looked around, yelled 'Clear' out the window, and just as I was about to pull the starter I looked over the guy was in front of my right wing with his hand on my wing. It startled me. I asked him who he was and what he was doing. He said he was with the FAA and needed to see my paperwork. I told him I was pretty sure he wasn't with the FAA, so he showed me his lanyard. I told him I was still pretty sure he wasn't with the FAA since he wanted to see my paperwork... what paperwork? And I told him if he was with the FAA he would know when a pilot yelled 'Clear' the next thing that would happen is the spinny thing would start spinning. I told him to step away from my plane, started the plane and left. Never heard anything else from him. Not sure what the rules are, but once I'm buckled in and starting the plane, I would think they should leave you alone.
 
tawood said:
Just get a bigger hangar...my low wing and couch fit in my hangar just fine.
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I have a couch, a futon, a desk in the back, a tool chest and some storage shevling - I could never set it up like the high wing guys can!
 
gsengle said:
I would think you would need to be able to show you're in W&B
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Doing the math to confirm you're in W&B is important, and I always know I'm in the envelope based on having done it once before for a particular scenario (e.g. me and fuel to the tabs) or because I redo the W&B check for a new scenario (e.g. me, my fat friend, and two cases of craft beer for the cellar).

You may be right, and I'd happily show somebody the W&B Report that must be in the plane, but I'm not aware of any regulation that says I have to snap to it and show I will be or was in W&B. Do you know of one?
 
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Not a ramp check, but Jack's anecdote about an airshow reminded me... Many years ago I flew my T-Craft to an airshow a couple of hours away. Accompanying me in her own T-Craft was a girlfriend, but as she didn't have her certificate yet, her mother (who was a commuter pilot) was PIC. Anyway, we were running late and when we got there, the X's were already on the runways. Nothing was flying but the R/C model demo that opened the show, so we landed on the far end of the cross runway and parked our planes in the grass there. Walking over to the spectator area, we were met by an FAA guy who proceeded to ream us for landing at a closed airport and took our certificates. Uh oh. He said he'd see us later, so we sweated it all through the show... my friend's mother much more than me, of course, since her career was on the line. After the show, we found the FAA guy and after yelling at us some more, he gave us our stuff back and let us go with a warning.
 
Dana said:
Not a ramp check, but Jack's anecdote about an airshow reminded me... Many years ago I flew my T-Craft to an airshow a couple of hours away. Accompanying me in her own T-Craft was a girlfriend, but as she didn't have her certificate yet, her mother (who was a commuter pilot) was PIC. Anyway, we were running late and when we got there, the X's were already on the runways. Nothing was flying but the R/C model demo that opened the show, so we landed on the far end of the cross runway and parked our planes in the grass there. Walking over to the spectator area, we were met by an FAA guy who proceeded to ream us for landing at a closed airport and took our certificates. Uh oh. He said he'd see us later, so we sweated it all through the show... my friend's mother much more than me, of course, since her career was on the line. After the show, we found the FAA guy and after yelling at us some more, he gave us our stuff back and let us go with a warning.
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He was out of line confiscating your paperwork. Then again, maybe he was doing you a favor by keeping you on the ground until the NOTAM lifted.
 
I once tried and failed to get ramp checked just to be able to brag that I'd once been ramp-checked. :p

I was out for a local pleasure flight. Upon landing and taxiing back to my hangar, which faces the gas pumps, I noticed an FAA rep checking planes as they arrived for fuel (it's a popular fuel stop). I left my plane out in front of my hangar and messed around for a while instead of putting it up and leaving, just to give him a target of opportunity (I figured I had everything in order, and the regional FAA guy is known to be a fair feller). However, he never looked my direction, so I finally put'r up and left. Oh, well - maybe next time. :D
 
ETres said:
I once tried and failed to get ramp checked just to be able to brag that I'd once been ramp-checked. :p

I was out for a local pleasure flight. Upon landing and taxiing back to my hangar, which faces the gas pumps, I noticed an FAA rep checking planes as they arrived for fuel (it's a popular fuel stop). I left my plane out in front of my hangar and messed around for a while instead of putting it up and leaving, just to give him a target of opportunity (I figured I had everything in order, and the regional FAA guy is known to be a fair feller). However, he never looked my direction, so I finally put'r up and left. Oh, well - maybe next time. :D
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Sitting at a fuel pump on the ramp getting ready for flight you are fair game. Sitting in front of a hangar door not so much. Just because an airplane sits in front of a hangar door does not mean it is ready for flight or airworthy in anyway. Sitting at the pumps with luggage and passengers aboard. Kinda hard to claim you did not intend to fly.

Tony
 
I got a call on my cell phone about 5 years ago from the local FBO, they had pulled the airplane out and I was just leaving my house and the inspector wanted to talk to me. :eek: He was great and pointed out a loose screw on the tail and a whole in each engine nacelle, very common in 421B's. The holes had been previously patched, but both had developed new holes. I explained and he was fine, 30 minutes later, I pull up to the airplane and he walks out to show me the stripped screw and discuss the cowling issue and shook my hand and left. I don't even think he asked about paperwork. :D That's once so far in 33 years!
 
I have been ramped 4 times, 1 I felt was in bad taste, 1 the inspector had an attitude, and twice with friendly Feds. They all turned out well.

The one that left a bad taste was when we were taking people down to South Texas for the then Senator Lloyd Bentsen's father's funeral in the late 80's. This was back before approach down there had radar and it must have been around 900 overcast. There are several airplanes inbound for the funeral and we are all holding at the OM waiting our turn to shoot the ILS. After all that fun the first people we meet when we open the door was 2 Fed's wanting to do a ramp check. We told them we would be happy to deal with them after we got rid of out passengers. After the ramp check we asked the Fed's if they knew why all the corporate airplanes were coming in and they said yes. We then asked if they did not think that it was in poor taste to be ramping airplanes that were coming in for a funeral and they just walked away.
 
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