Crippling training anxiety

[SkyCat]

Hi all,

I have a weird one. Has anyone else suffered terrible nerves and anxiety leading-up to your training flights? I feel like every lesson is it’s own checkride for how anxious I get! I’m working on my Commercial Single after many stops and starts over the past decade, and don’t EVER remember actually HOPING for bad weather or the airplane being down so the lesson would have to be postponed. I LOVE flying, but lately I just can’t shake the crippling jitters I get before each lesson! My CFI is great, the airplane is well-maintained, I charged through my PPL and IR, got a 95 on my Comm knowledge test, am current and proficient after dealing with some rust, and have all the funds needed to accomplish the certificate. I also have the support of a terrific mentor. I can’t for the life of me figure out what shifted in my training confidence!

Anyone else dealt with this before? If so, how did you move past it??

 

[CT583]

I had a similar fear of flying after passing my instrument. Very random and not like me.
Basically, my wife was doing our taxes and saw the amount I spent on flying and training. So we went over and got in the plane to have a joy flight. Something with no plan, just get to the airport, pick a direction out over the country and fly for a bit and not focus on a lesson or test. Only flying for the fun of it.

Oh, and I am terrified of my wife. I didn’t even realize how much I spent.

 

[Dana]

I knew a guy who was an experienced pilot, he went through it twice... scared to the point of quitting flying, selling his plane, stay away from the airport. A few years later he'd get back into it, buy another plane, pick up where he left off... until it happened again.

 

[455 Bravo Uniform]

Make sure you’re eating well, sleeping enough, and getting a decent amount of exercise. If you have time to take care of all that, then other stressors (work, fam) are probably in-check enough.

If all that is already good, then I have nothing else to add.

Sounds a bit crazy, I know, but as I get older I’m figuring out a little on how some of this crap is all interconnected.

 

[PaulS]

Postpone your training, get out and fly. Do a bunch of 1 or 2 hour cross countries, with FF. Go to fun places. I'd do this for a few weeks, about 5 or 6 flight minimum. Have some fun where all you are concerned about is finding an airport 100 miles away. I think you may be proficient, but your confidence is still rusty, only one way to knock off that rust.

 

[RyanB]

I don’t disagree with the suggestions to get out and just go fly, but it is quite a bit different to receive dual instruction and be put under the gun, than it is to just go out and fly by yourself.

My guess is, you just don’t enjoy the training, I get it. I thought the Private was fun, but the instrument just sucks honestly and I don’t exactly look forward to each lesson either.

 

[SkyCat]

It’s so crazy. I love learning, I’m an okay pilot (I think), I’ve had really good CFIs throughout my different certificates so far, but darn if training doesn’t stress me out now. Maybe it’s that I’m older and I fear not learning as quickly from my Millennial CFI, or that she’ll get frustrated or discouraged instructing me because I “should know (insert basic PPL procedure here) by now”. I just never had consistent enough bouts of training thus far to keep the rust at bay, while still growing as a pilot — only enough to get comfortable before the money/time/whatever ran out and another period of flying dormancy happened. My theory is that I’m stressed and anxious because I fear my previous skills have decayed and left me Ill-equipped to handle learning new ones (and to tighter standards) at an older age. Meanwhile, the credit card is beginning to melt..

Make sure you’re eating well, sleeping enough, and getting a decent amount of exercise. If you have time to take care of all that, then other stressors (work, fam) are probably in-check enough.

If all that is already good, then I have nothing else to add.

Sounds a bit crazy, I know, but as I get older I’m figuring out a little on how some of this crap is all interconnected.

 

[SkyCat]

Postpone your training, get out and fly. Do a bunch of 1 or 2 hour cross countries, with FF. Go to fun places. I'd do this for a few weeks, about 5 or 6 flight minimum. Have some fun where all you are concerned about is finding an airport 100 miles away. I think you may be proficient, but your confidence is still rusty, only one way to knock off that rust.

This idea really hit the mark as I read it. I DO remember a time when saddling-up in my trusty rental Skyhawk and feeling the satisfaction of a well-planned and executed xc to see the girlfriend, or introduce a friend to GA over a burger was when I felt like I had “it”. Might just have to take that advice..

 

[RyanB]

she’ll get frustrated or discouraged instructing me because I “should know (insert basic PPL procedure here) by now”.

I doubt it. Teaching a slow learner is job security for an instructor. It’ll be fine!

 

[PaulS]

I don’t disagree with the suggestions to get out and just go fly, but it is quite a bit different to receive dual instruction and be put under the gun, than it is to just go out and fly by yourself.

My guess is, you just don’t enjoy the training, I get it. I thought the Private was fun, but the instrument just sucks honestly and I don’t exactly look forward to each lesson either.

It seems that way, but he got to the point of commercial, he doesn't give details, but I suspect he has his instrument too. Instrument was a rough run until I figured out that while striving for perfection is fine, achieving it is very difficult and the standard is proficient and safe, not perfect. When I realized this, everything clicked within one or two lessons and a did well on my check ride.

 

[RyanB]

It seems that way, but he got to the point of commercial, he doesn't give details, but I suspect he has his instrument too. Instrument was a rough run until I figured out that while striving for perfection is fine, achieving it is very difficult and the standard is proficient and safe, not perfect. When I realized this, everything clicked within one or two lessons and a did well on my check ride.

Would be nice if my instructor felt the same. Seems to be perfection or bust!

 

[SkyCat]

It’s so crazy. I love learning, I’m an okay pilot (I think), I’ve had really good CFIs throughout my different certificates so far, but darn if training doesn’t stress me out now. Maybe it’s that I’m older and I fear not learning as quickly from my Millennial CFI, or that she’ll get frustrated or discouraged instructing me because I “should know (insert basic PPL procedure here) by now”. I just never had consistent enough bouts of training thus far to keep the rust at bay, while still growing as a pilot — only enough to get comfortable before the money/time/whatever ran out and another period of flying dormancy happened. My theory is that I’m stressed and anxious because I fear my previous skills have decayed and left me Ill-equipped to handle learning new ones (and to tighter standards) at an older age. Meanwhile, the credit card is beginning to melt..

Guilty of not taking care of myself better, for sure! And I agree on the point you make about the interconnectedness of health and stress management, especially when it comes to endeavors like this one! Thank you for your feedback.

I don’t disagree with the suggestions to get out and just go fly, but it is quite a bit different to receive dual instruction and be put under the gun, than it is to just go out and fly by yourself.

My guess is, you just don’t enjoy the training, I get it. I thought the Private was fun, but the instrument just sucks honestly and I don’t exactly look forward to each lesson either.

Glad I’m not alone in the not enjoying the training section. Man, I did my IR in 12 days, in TUCSON, in JULY! Talk about not enjoying the training, lol! Up at 0500 to launch by 6 before the surrounding desert heated up and started making precision flying interesting. Then hydrate and hit the books until the evening for another round of mental gymnastics in the sky. Some days I just went to the hotel pool and would let myself sink to the bottom for a few precious seconds of cool silence before begrudgingly coming up for air. The only enjoyment I felt was passing that ckride and beating feet outa that town!

Make sure you’re eating well, sleeping enough, and getting a decent amount of exercise. If you have time to take care of all that, then other stressors (work, fam) are probably in-check enough.

If all that is already good, then I have nothing else to add.

Sounds a bit crazy, I know, but as I get older I’m figuring out a little on how some of this crap is all interconnected.

 

[PaulS]

It’s so crazy. I love learning, I’m an okay pilot (I think), I’ve had really good CFIs throughout my different certificates so far, but darn if training doesn’t stress me out now. Maybe it’s that I’m older and I fear not learning as quickly from my Millennial CFI, or that she’ll get frustrated or discouraged instructing me because I “should know (insert basic PPL procedure here) by now”. I just never had consistent enough bouts of training thus far to keep the rust at bay, while still growing as a pilot — only enough to get comfortable before the money/time/whatever ran out and another period of flying dormancy happened. My theory is that I’m stressed and anxious because I fear my previous skills have decayed and left me Ill-equipped to handle learning new ones (and to tighter standards) at an older age. Meanwhile, the credit card is beginning to melt..

The highlighted is your problem. Again the perfection thing. Finding out your deficiencies and fixing them is a good thing. I had the exact same issues as you with confidence and worry. They are unfounded. Look at it this way, if your skills have decayed, you want to know and fix it. Getting quizzed on stuff you forgot is a good thing, easy to fix. Be honest with your instructor about your anxiety and move on. I fly with an instructor now at least every six months for a flight review one time, then an IPC the next. It's part of renting the with the place I'm with. I had anxiety about it the first couple times, but now look forward to finding where rust has settled in and fixing it. It's an attitude thing, stop beating yourself up, I've been through it, it just slows you down. The instructor is there to help and wants you to succeed.

This idea really hit the mark as I read it. I DO remember a time when saddling-up in my trusty rental Skyhawk and feeling the satisfaction of a well-planned and executed xc to see the girlfriend, or introduce a friend to GA over a burger was when I felt like I had “it”. Might just have to take that advice..

After reading these posts, I really think 1 or 2 cross countries will do it.

 

[PaulS]

Would be nice if my instructor felt the same. Seems to be perfection or bust!

You are probably an ace and he wants ace performance at all times, but maybe not. Need more details if you want an unprofessional opinion.

I saw perfection as nailing altitudes and headings spot on, no hesitation on any procedure, perfect radio calls, etc. I realized that ACS standards is the key, a little hiccup here or there is fine, as long is it is self corrected and not unsafe. For instrument the instructor needs to know you won't f up or freeze up when alone.

 

[murphey]

The phrase is “ good enough for government work “.

You are probably an ace and he wants ace performance at all times, but maybe not. Need more details if you want an unprofessional opinion.

I saw perfection as nailing altitudes and headings spot on, no hesitation on any procedure, perfect radio calls, etc. I realized that ACS standards is the key, a little hiccup here or there is fine, as long is it is self corrected and not unsafe. For instrument the instructor needs to know you won't f up or freeze up when alone.

 

[SkyCat]

It seems that way, but he got to the point of commercial, he doesn't give details, but I suspect he has his instrument too. Instrument was a rough run until I figured out that while striving for perfection is fine, achieving it is very difficult and the standard is proficient and safe, not perfect. When I realized this, everything clicked within one or two lessons and a did well on my check ride.

Great reminder! I do indeed have my Instrument and remember how I felt then, too, but for different reasons. Then, it was mainly the intensity of the training in a brutal desert heat while gnashing my teeth at the #%^*! PCATD between lessons.

I doubt it. Teaching a slow learner is job security for an instructor. It’ll be fine!

That’s one way to look at it..

 

[texasclouds]

I also had some anxiety before flight lessons. I guess I was worried about pleasing the instructor, even though my instructor was super calm. With experience, I think that will go away. Focus on each task and just get it done. If you are found deficient, well we will just keep practicing that some more. In the end I think you will have a sense of accomplishment and be proud of yourself.

 

[Clip4]

Hi all,

I have a weird one. Has anyone else suffered terrible nerves and anxiety leading-up to your training flights? I feel like every lesson is it’s own checkride for how anxious I get! I’m working on my Commercial Single after many stops and starts over the past decade, and don’t EVER remember actually HOPING for bad weather or the airplane being down so the lesson would have to be postponed. I LOVE flying, but lately I just can’t shake the crippling jitters I get before each lesson! My CFI is great, the airplane is well-maintained, I charged through my PPL and IR, got a 95 on my Comm knowledge test, am current and proficient after dealing with some rust, and have all the funds needed to accomplish the certificate. I also have the support of a terrific mentor. I can’t for the life of me figure out what shifted in my training confidence!

Anyone else dealt with this before? If so, how did you move past it??

I find engineer and physics minded students do fairly well with the private and the instrument because it suits their mathematical nature. When they progress to the commercial it becomes much more about visual references, aerodynamics, and understanding changes in control surface effectiveness that seems foreign.

 

[SkyCat]

Thank you for the encouragement! I think the “pleasing” part does play into it as I’ve seen this in myself in other settings.

I find engineer and physics minded students do fairly well with the private and the instrument because it suits their mathematical nature. When they progress to the commercial it becomes much more about visual references, aerodynamics, and understanding changes in control surface effectiveness that seems foreign.

Interesting observation. That’s one thing I love about aviation: it plays to almost everyone’s “superpower” in one way or another. I’m finding the trick is to set aside what I might be good at or comfortable with in favor of improving my weak area(s) — maybe hence, the heightened anxiety? I have to keep reminding myself that learning to fly (or progressing in it) is a hard-fought challenge worth meeting.

 

[jeffwh1]

I went through something similar doing my IFR, as the training wore on I started to dread the lessons beforehand. By the time the instructor and I were in the air, I was fine and enjoying myself. Not sure why that was, I would guess just fatigue with being instructed and wanting to do my own thing. I would take the advice above and go do some flying for fun.

 

[SkyCat]

You describe it PERFECTLY! It’s like getting to the airport and launched is the real stress zone for me. So much preflight and checklist tedium, and then we line up, the throttle goes in, and *poof!* the focus and fun (a modicum of it anyway..) commences!

I think I just really needed to reach out to fellow pilots instead of my non-flying friends/family and hear at least one person say, “Oh yeah, I know THAT feeling!” to make sure I wasn’t the anomaly in the group. I mean, who doesn’t live to fly if they’re on this forum?!

 

[Rgbeard]

H

You describe it PERFECTLY! It’s like getting to the airport and launched is the real stress zone for me. So much preflight and checklist tedium, and then we line up, the throttle goes in, and *poof!* the focus and fun (a modicum of it anyway..) commences!

I think I just really needed to reach out to fellow pilots instead of my non-flying friends/family and hear at least one person say, “Oh yeah, I know THAT feeling!” to make sure I wasn’t the anomaly in the group. I mean, who doesn’t live to fly if they’re on this forum?!

Having good flying friends changes EVERYTHING.

I am posting this response from a Holland America cruise ship, arriving at Mazatlan, enjoying the trip with a flying couple we met on POA.

When not enjoying the ship, we talk about life, airplanes and more.

Doing this same trip with non-flying friends would have me omitting an entire portion of my persona from discussion.

 

[SkyCat]

EXACTLY!!

 

[CT583]

What RG said about flying friends is really true. I’ve been lucky enough to have a group of people who do a regular lunch run on saturdays.
Invite a pilot to go with you somewhere that’s a simple destination. Food is always good. look around, I’ll bet there’s an airport cafe within a 30 min flight. Thats a great way to keep current and enjoy flying for yourself, not to pass the next check mark.

 

[Rgbeard]

Literally, ten minutes after I posted the above response my wife and I met a Bonanza pilot/couple from the East Valley of Phoenix. They also flew their plane to San Diego/Brown.

We talked for probably a half-hour. Probably part was the pilot-equivalent of dogs sniffing butts, haha.

I guess we’re flypaper for fliers.

In the 2000s we were really deep in the sport-touring motorcycle groups and I will tell you, it’s nowhere near as much fun and as great a camaraderie.

Maybe @Pilot Mann will figure this out. Or he can let peer pressure and god-awful rock bands define his presence.

 

[chemgeek]

This relates to sports psychology and performance optimization. A small amount of "butterflies" is beneficial to high performance, but too much anxiety is crippling. The "cure" in sports is desensitization, a.k.a. experience, plus developing a trust in your skill set, while realizing you can't completely control the outcome of a game, only your personal performance.

Even after 35+ years of flying, I am in a heightened state of awareness before every flight, and during critical junctures of a flight, such as (but not limited to) getting set up for an instrument approach. I think this is is healthy and maybe beneficial, as long as it does not cross over into anxiety levels that impede performance. Complacency is probably as detrimental as excessive anxiety.

 

[Sport Pilot]

My contribution to this thread is:

During my training, I informed my instructor that I was overwhelmed with the book work, the flights, the training, the turbulence, everything. He suggested that him and I just go fly together; no training, no stress, just fly around.

When we landed, he asked me how I felt after the flight. I told him that it was great I appreciated the suggestion.

He then told me that he never once touched the stick during the entire flight. He told me he never once instructed me to do something or when to do it.

It was the same plane, the same turbulence, the same scenario. The only difference was the mindset.

 

[Brad Z]

My advice is to talk to your instructor. Flight training is one-on-one instruction and should be adapted to support you and your learning style. If the instructor's teaching methodology is causing you undue anxiety, no matter how well intentioned, she needs to be aware of it so that she can try something different. I agree the a change of pace might be in order. A lot of pilots love the commercial maneuvers. Personally, I didn't care for them, and not everyone does. Understand the purpose and intent of the maneuvers and practice on your own between lessons. It will all come together eventually. But mix in some fun flying too...after all this is all supposed to be fun!