Corny but effective sayings

Richard

Richard

Final Approach
Joined
Feb 27, 2005
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West Coast Resistance
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Ack...city life
Too poor to pay attention

I'll slap you so hard when you wake up your clothes will be out of style (back in style)

It's been so dry the trees are bribing the dogs

A few others I cannot remember just now. Perhaps my most favorite single word is, y'all. A homegrown, distinctly American word, it connotes familiarity with a touch of hillbillyism. It rolls off the tongue beautifully.
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=701409
 
Richard said:
Too poor to pay attention

I'll slap you so hard when you wake up your clothes will be out of style (back in style)

It's been so dry the trees are bribing the dogs

A few others I cannot remember just now. Perhaps my most favorite single word is, y'all. A homegrown, distinctly American word, it connotes familiarity with a touch of hillbillyism. It rolls off the tongue beautifully.
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=701409
Click to expand...


Those were purty funny!
I likes...

He's about half a bubble off plumb.

Thanks for the link.:D
 
Speaking of levels, I actually had a guy up on a 20' ladder with a 8 foot spirit level checking for plumb on a 8 x 12" post before the guy above him tightened it up. "Better than plumb!" was his response when asked how it looked. We all laughed but he didn't get it. Then we all shook our heads when we realized he was serious.
 
Frank Browne said:
Those were purty funny!
I likes...

He's about half a bubble off plumb.

Thanks for the link.:D
Click to expand...

The one I like is... "He's not exactly operating on full thrusters"

Jeannie
 
Frank Browne said:
He's about half a bubble off plumb.
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Then there's the aviation version, "Half a ball off center." I've been accused of this. :rolleyes:
 
I'm as nervous as a long-tailed bobcat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Texas: He's all hat, no land.
 
mikea said:
I'm as nervous as a long-tailed bobcat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Texas: He's all hat, no land.
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My Uncle, who was quite displaced up in New Hampshire, was from Kentucky. Would commonly say "Its gonna snow ***hole deep to a 6 foot mule."

While he didn't say it - I always found "couple-a-few" to be my favoirte southism.
 
My father used to say ....it's colder than a well digger's brass balls....as useless as teats on a boar hog....more confused than a new born baby in a topless bar....dumber than a box of rocks...
 
Around here it's "One Taco short of a combination plate"
or "He ain't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree"
Don
 
Richard said:
Too poor to pay attention

I'll slap you so hard when you wake up your clothes will be out of style (back in style)

It's been so dry the trees are bribing the dogs

A few others I cannot remember just now. Perhaps my most favorite single word is, y'all. A homegrown, distinctly American word, it connotes familiarity with a touch of hillbillyism. It rolls off the tongue beautifully.
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=701409
Click to expand...

grew up in north texas; came to california 30 years ago. accent's long gone, but i still say "ya'll".

somehow, "you guys" just doesn't ring true in a room full of ladies. "ya'll" is all inclusive.

just my 2% worth.
 
trombair said:
grew up in north texas; came to california 30 years ago. accent's long gone, but i still say "ya'll".

somehow, "you guys" just doesn't ring true in a room full of ladies. "ya'll" is all inclusive.

just my 2% worth.
Click to expand...
My mother is from south side Chicago, my father is from Gary, IN. Youse guys is perfectly acceptable up there. Spent time in NC, FLA, GA, and LA. Y'all is a much better word. It's so downright homey. All y'all is even better.
 
Richard said:
Speaking of levels, I actually had a guy up on a 20' ladder with a 8 foot spirit level checking for plumb on a 8 x 12" post before the guy above him tightened it up. "Better than plumb!" was his response when asked how it looked. We all laughed but he didn't get it. Then we all shook our heads when we realized he was serious.
Click to expand...

Good lead in to my favorite:

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate.
 
Richard said:
My father used to say ....it's colder than a well digger's brass balls....as useless as teats on a boar hog....more confused than a new born baby in a topless bar....dumber than a box of rocks...
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Coldern' a witch's t** in a brass brassiere in Alaska in the middle of January.

Cussing in the South is generally quite colorful and, if done right, without vulgarity. You can quite adequately insult someone using simply a string of hyphenated adjectives without any objectionable language at all. :yes:

I love the adjective "knuckle-dragging." "Cousin-marrying" is another good one.
 
Carol said:
I love the adjective "knuckle-dragging." "Cousin-marrying" is another good one.
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"You mother-scratchin' son of a pup" :D
 
If brains was dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.



True story: Sitting around, tugging at my collar, sweating through my tux, minutes before my wedding, Grandpa says, "Cheer up boy, there's worse days coming!"
 
Carol said:
Coldern' a witch's t** in a brass brassiere in Alaska in the middle of January.



Colder than a witch's t-- on Christmas Morning, is an old Vermonter response. And on some of those hill farms, that is pretty cold, let me tell you.

One of our more complex phrases from up there, where most of us found that "yup" and "nope" pretty much did it all.

Now I'm in Pennsylvania, and still haven't gotten used to "need's oiled" or "need's fixed" and things of that ilk.

I still think "dumber than a box of rocks" is not as colorful as "dumber than a bucket of hair", which we seem to use locally, particularly when talking about clients.

Jim G
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Frank Browne said:
Or, put another way..."he's two fries short of a Happy Meal"
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She's a nice girl, but her elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
 
grattonjaI still think "dumber than a box of rocks" is not as colorful as "dumber than a bucket of hair" said:
"Dumb as a stump" is my favorite of that ilk.
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"Couldn't hit his a$$ with both hands"
"Couldn't pour pi$$ out of his boot if the instructions were printed on the sole"
"Strong like an ox and half as smart"
 
Favorite construction job site quote from my days working for dad (that is not R rated or worse)

"brute strength and blind ignorance". That was how we got most ugly jobs done, including most lifting work.

Jim G
 
What you're doing is very interesting. It's completely wrong and won't work, but it's still very interesting.

Plan. Need one. Quick.
 
There's nothing like a good plan ... and this is nothing like a good plan.


The one we use a lot here at work is "Know your role and shut your hole"
 
Useless as a one legged man in a kickin contest!

Busy as a one armed paper hanger with crabs!

The foresight of Nastrodufus!

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer!

If he/she had another brain cell there could be a collision.

So slow you can see the neurons and synapses connect and the thought slowly move down to the mouth.

Just a few.

Dave
 
"Wish I had your airplane and you had a feather up yer nose - then we would both be tickled..."
 
One of my "new" favorites was uttered by Dave Siciliano right here on this board:

"It's been so hot in Texas even the mosquitos are wearing flip-flops."
 
My Favorite one is " Older then Dirt and Dumber Than a Rock Dave G.
 
I thought everyone had these sayings. How do y'all talk without 'em?

Grinnin like 'possum in a persimmon tree.
Pick the low fruit first.
Hotter than the hinges of hell.
He couldn't find his as* with both hands and a mirror.
I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth.
Hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit.
Not the sharpest hoe in the shed.
Slicker'n snot on a doorknob.
He jumps around like a fly on a cow turd.


There are a lot of others. I'll listen for them.

That reminds me; He's so deaf he coundn't hear himself fart.
 
Favorites from my Dad:

Of the dishonest..."That guy's so crooked he has to screw his socks on!"
Not a fan of rare steak he'd say..."I've seen cows hurt worse than that get well!"
 
I heard a new one just today. Had all of us within earshot laughing.


"The last fight I was in I kicked some ass. He got his fingers caught in my beltloops as I was running away."
 
gkainz said:
"Couldn't hit his a$$ with both hands"
"Couldn't pour pi$$ out of his boot if the instructions were printed on the sole"
"Strong like an ox and half as smart"
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"couldn't hit the floor with his hat". :no:

"has the potential of a full six-pak, but lacks the little plastic thingy to hold it all together".

"if his brains were gasoline, there wouldn't be enough to power a p*ss ant's honda half way 'round a B-B".

cheers!
 
Couldn't hit a mule in the as* with a bass fiddle.

If they told me I could have a bag of money I'd have to get a loan to buy the bag.
 
"Old enough to know better - young enough to still give it a try."

or, as the new song says

"I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was."
 
a few from an old movie (Atomic Cafe I think. The mother was the one coming out with them.):

every path has its puddle

nothing dries faster than a tear

a girl who gets wrapped up in herself makes a mighty small package.
 
He/she is about as useless as...
- screen doors on a submarine
- pay toilets in a diarrhea ward
- tits on a boar hog
 
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