**** Cancer

Parents shouldn't have to bury their sons. My heart breaks for you, as a father to a son.

I got nothing more left but to extend you my fellow Human empathy in your time of grief. Our wounds in this life may seal, but the scars remain. It changes us, and we'd lying to each other to pretend we would ever be the same.

In that light, your grief serves me as a reminder to live this life with direction and purpose. In committing to live that way, I like to believe we honor your son, small and insufficient measure as it may be compared to the gravity of your loss.

Again, my heartfelt condolences.
 
I too, have nothing to add, except to repeat: **** cancer!

-Skip Miller
 
Condolences to you Sluggo. Thank you for sharing. Prayers for you and your family.
 
Sluggo, may angels console you and give you peace.
 
**** cancer. **** indeed. Sorry man.
 
Thank you for sharing. As a parent I cannot imagine and have no words, but you and your family will be in my prayers today. I hope you fiend peace. Bens smile tells me all I need to know about what a wonderful person he was.
 
Thank you all... so much.

I count you all as friends, as weird as that is, it makes sense to me in this day and age.

Thank you for the outpouring of support. I made this post and shut the lid on my laptop. When I came back this morning, my eyes filled with tears reading your posts. Thank you.

For those that have lost loved ones, especially their children, thank you for reassuring me that although it will never be "okay," someday it will be easier. I will keep your departed family in my thoughts as well.

Thank you all, my friends. This truly is a good community.

Peace and love.

Sluggo
 
I would like to add something from experience. If you are a friend or relative of someone who has lost a loved one, please reach out near the anniversary or birthdays of those lost. Call the survivor and let them know you were remembering the person who is now gone. I think many avoid this call, thinking it will depress the survivor. In our case, when the phone didn't ring around the birthday or anniversary of our relative's untimely death, it felt like nobody remembered or cared, when I'm sure they were trying to avoid an uncomfortable conversation, and didn't want to hurt our feelings.
 
Sluggo63 said:
For those that have lost loved ones, especially their children, thank you for reassuring me that although it will never be "okay," someday it will be easier. I will keep your departed family in my thoughts as well.
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A couple years ago, my sister sent me this ancient Reddit post that I have found helpful. At the beginning, the feeling of loss is too intense and unrelenting to even begin to wrap your head around, like a blind person being forced at gunpoint to describe a rainbow to himself. This guy's metaphor for the emotional response to loss has helped me ride out the hard days by giving a name to something abstract and intense, which helps me shoehorn it into my conscious mind in a way that I can at least start to make sense out of.

Waves of Grief
 
Well said Clue. I lost my mother to ****ing cancer July 20 2020. It wasn’t quick and it wasn’t easy for her. I thought I was okay a year later when I had lunch with a friend of mine and his mother who reminded me of mine. After lunch, I drove home crying like a baby.

Sluggo my brother, I’m sorry that you lost your son. All you can do is cherish the memories and keep them alive.
 
Very sorry to hear this, my sincerest thoughts and condolences are with you and your family. I’m really at a loss for words and I grieve for y’all. :(
 
i too am so sorry for your loss, the only thing I can say is you were blessed to have such a wonderful son, when you fly he will still be right next you always in your heart and mind, God Bless you and your family in this time.
 
Cluemeister said:
I would like to add something from experience. If you are a friend or relative of someone who has lost a loved one, please reach out near the anniversary or birthdays of those lost. Call the survivor and let them know you were remembering the person who is now gone.
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Good advice. @Sluggo63, condolences and prayers from the heart.

In 2022, I lost my mother in late April and my wife on July 1st. My mother had been sick and we were warned that she was declining rapidly. My wife, on the other hand, woke up about 8AM on 07-01-22, started hollering for help and by the time the paramedics arrived, she was unconscious. When I saw them doing non-stop CPR as they rolled her out to the ambulance I knew then that I'd most likely lost her. It was confirmed about an hour later.

In your case, it appears that you have immediate family around you, which is great. I've basically been alone and it has been really hard at times. You're in my prayers. Seriously.
 
I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. From your post and photos, it appears that you built a special bond together through your love of flying - as did my dad and I.

As a dad myself of two sons both in their 40s, I cannot pretend to wrap my head around the extent of what you have been going through. Over the past three months I've had an unexpected crash course in cancer, its effects and treatment -- but it's not one of my boys, so it's impossible for me to know the depth of the hurt. Several posts above in this thread express it much better than I could.

We offer up our prayers for you and your family, for peace, strength and wisdom as you go forward.
 
**** cancer, indeed. It has its grip on me right now, but I'm 70, have led a pretty wonderful life, and can probably stretch this fight out for a decade or more. No way should it get our kids, who haven't even had time to do all the foolish things I did at that age. Rant on brother, you're in the right place.
 
I am sorry for your loss. I have no words, but I pray for you and your family.
 
Cancer sucks. I lost one of my best friends to it 23 years ago, and others since. The unfairness of it is miserable.

I'm glad that you two had such a solid friendship. He's smiling in every photo, and that's genuine. I'm glad you guys flew together, and you have those memories. Do whatever you have to do to keep on keeping on, because it's pretty clear you're a good influence on people around you, and they need that. Thanks for sharing...it's bringing back my own memories of people I've known, and it's both sad and good, if that makes any sense. Maybe a reminder that as much as a PITA I can be from time to time, yelling at people to get off my lawn or whatever, I've been fortunate to have been around some great people. People better than me. Strongly suspect you're one of those.
 
Deepest sympathies. May your memories bring you comfort.
 
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