Can I light a fart if I stick a Roman Candle in my butt?

Ted DuPuis said:
Has your account been hacked, Bill? You ain't acting right lately. ;)
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No hack. Nate's post in the other thread struck me as funny this morning.

Farts strike me as funny (as do Shreddies, which are intended to counteract them). Pastafarians strike me as funny (I have a photo of a friend wearing a colander). Etc.
 
Wouldn't he have to pull the stick out first? :D
 
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Bonus points if you ignite the fart, get a blue flame, and it ignites the Roman candle. But no payout unless there's proof. :p
 
A Fartlighter is required according to The Royal Order Of The Blue Flame.

If you want to ignite your farts, as some
of us desire to become YouTube stars,
one needs to be aware of certain important
factors. A match does not burn long enough
to ignite a fart; one must purchase a Fartlighter--

The question is, does a Roman Candle qualify as an official fartlighter

http://bibliosity.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-royal-order-of-blue-flame.html
 
Of course, with as much butthurt that goes around these days, a roman candle might hurt less....

# triggered
 
wsuffa said:
Of course, with as much butthurt that goes around these days, a roman candle might hurt less....

# triggered
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There’s only one way to find out!
 
Memories of college. A good friend was famous for shouting "Gimme a match, gimme a match!" and then flopping with his ankles towards his ears, igniting his fart. Got the photo to prove it, somewhere (analog social media, for all you youngsters). A stone-cold warrior, he retired from the Air Force as a Lieutenant Colonel. Hummer, if you're out there, I am raising a glass after I finish typing, that memory pleases me still!
 
Three person tent in boy scouts, Camp Harvey West, fifty something years ago. Guy on the far side of the tent tried this with a match. Wear underpants to stop the flame spread! Fair warning!!! ;-)
 
Back in the 80s I used to manage a restaurant.

Let me start with alcohol was involved.

I was in the office, a small 8X10 size, closing out the register. One of the cooks cam running in, turned off the lights, plopped his feet on the desk, took out his lighter and squealed one out. Blue flames, I swear there was diamond shapes.....

I laughed so hard I knocked the cash drawer off the desk, coins everywhere.....
 
Zeldman said:
Back in the 80s I used to manage a restaurant.

Let me start with alcohol was involved.

I was in the office, a small 8X10 size, closing out the register. One of the cooks cam running in, turned off the lights, plopped his feet on the desk, took out his lighter and squealed one out. Blue flames, I swear there was diamond shapes.....

I laughed so hard I knocked the cash drawer off the desk, coins everywhere.....
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What do you think they teach at Boy Scout camp....
 
Zeldman said:
Back in the 80s I used to manage a restaurant.

Let me start with alcohol was involved.

I was in the office, a small 8X10 size, closing out the register. One of the cooks cam running in, turned off the lights, plopped his feet on the desk, took out his lighter and squealed one out. Blue flames, I swear there was diamond shapes.....

I laughed so hard I knocked the cash drawer off the desk, coins everywhere.....
Click to expand...
As an employee, that is certainly quite an interesting thing to do in front of your manager.

‘Hey boss, watch this!’
 
Ryanb said:
As an employee, that is certainly quite an interesting thing to do in front of your manager.

‘Hey boss, watch this!’
Click to expand...

Bunch of college kids, what can you expect..partying for dollars. Sometimes we even got some work done. :lol::lol:
 
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