steingar
Taxi to Parking
He was only 61. Killed himself in a Paris Hotel. His show was a favorite of Mrs. Steingar's, and I even watched it when I had time. Dude had my dream life.
Anthony Bourdain dead
- Thread starter steingar
- Start date
Saw the news this morning. Very sad! 
- Joined
- May 29, 2014
- Messages
- 4,381
- Display Name
Display name:
Kayoh@190
It kind of goes to show that in an age of television, social media, and so on - it's easy to forget that lots of people out there are fighting demons that we know nothing about. It's definitely a bummer.
steingar
Taxi to Parking
Absolutely, and he had been a complete drug fiend in his youth. Robin Williams killed himself because he was developing a form a dementia and didn't want to take that ride. Can't blame him one iota. I'm just hoping its something similar with Bourdain. He had really come into his own, becoming a fixture on CNN. Had a hot girlfriend, probably rich as all get out. And like I said, he had my dream life. If I could travel like that, boy would I.It kind of goes to show that in an age of television, social media, and so on - it's easy to forget that lots of people out there are fighting demons that we know nothing about. It's definitely a bummer.
- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 20,703
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Display Name
Display name:
Snorting his way across the USA
Pretty much that. Of note, I have eaten at the same restaurants that he did in his segments on both Vietnam and Myanmar.
wsuffa
Touchdown! Greaser!
Very sad to see. Two this week.
Bourdain was an icon - my favorite show of his was the Beirut show. But all were good. Sarcastic, snarky, but absolutely on point.
Bourdain was an icon - my favorite show of his was the Beirut show. But all were good. Sarcastic, snarky, but absolutely on point.
Shawn
En-Route
...rather dude projected your dream life through film making and story telling. If you know anything about him his life even just prior to the show was far from a dream and he openly talked about that.
Do not mean that in a negative or judgmental way of you or him, but in our society of of media consumption in both social and traditional forums can easily feed the demons that lead to a life ending decision like his.
The grass is not aways greener on the other side...it is just nice looking grass...that may have had to take a LOT of gardening to get there and is only one sprinkler pipe burst from dying.
tinerj
Cleared for Takeoff
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2012
- Messages
- 1,350
- Display Name
Display name:
tinerj
it's easy to forget that lots of people out there are fighting demons that we know nothing about. It's definitely a bummer.
I don't want to be pedantic, but I think about this a lot at work and online. You never know what's going on in someone's head, their life, what they've been through and how they're dealing with it. I wish we could all think about this before we post that harsh reply, skewer that colleague, give that performance feedback.
IMO it seems candor has improved on PoA as of late and it's good.
If you know someone who's struggling with troubles, or might have a lot going on, at least in the memory of Bourdain, maybe reach out to them and ... just listen.
SkyDog58
Ejection Handle Pulled
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2015
- Messages
- 14,600
- Location
- My own special place.
- Display Name
Display name:
Canis Non Grata
My wife turned me on to the show several years ago. Could definitely be interesting at times.
Two?
I would imagine there have been a lot more than two people commit suicide this week.
James331
Ejection Handle Pulled
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
- Messages
- 20,309
- Display Name
Display name:
James331
That.
That was one of the few celebrity types I'd actually liked to have had dinner and a drink with, very cool dude, especially the show he did in Isreal and Palestine, the Syria one and some in Indo, he seemed pretty zen and down to earth to off himself.
FlySince9
En-Route
who?
G-Man
Cleared for Takeoff
Right on, PaulMKE. Thank you.
I was out running last night on the local open space trails, about a half-mile from a trailhead and near a sort-of cliff. Fairly secluded.
There was a 60-ish guy there, nice clothes, not dressed for hiking. Hmmm, I thought.
So, I stopped running and just chatted with him for a few minutes about the nice sky and sunset. Didn't cost me anything. 99.999% chance he was just fine and I interrupted his reverie. But, who knows? Maybe he needed some human interaction and I made a positive difference.
Ted
The pilot formerly known as Twin Engine Ted
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2007
- Messages
- 30,006
- Display Name
Display name:
iFlyNothing
Michael, this shows a pretty narrow field of view. Money can't buy happiness. It can't even rent it. Try it, you will fail.
You don't know the demons or the background. He may have had some dream aspects to his life, but that doesn't mean he had a dream life and as @kayoh190 said, you have no idea what demons he may have been fighting or struggles in his life.
Summarizing Robin Williams' suicide as simply not wanting to deal with his dementia is also very narrow-minded and ignores the demons that he fought himself. He suffered from depression during his life. I don't want to deal with dementia, either, but I couldn't see offing myself for it. My guess (and I'm not the only one) is that provided the excuse that he needed to do something he'd probably been thinking about for a long time.
Van Johnston
Pattern Altitude
Kate Spade, a famous fashion designer, 55 y.o. I asked my wife if it was OK if I had never heard of her and didn't know what she was famous for. My wife said that was ok. Even so, it's another family in grief.
denverpilot
Tied Down
As dad would have said, “At least he made a decision.”
Rest In Peace, Mr. Bourdain.
Rest In Peace, Mr. Bourdain.
steingar
Taxi to Parking
Not at all. Demons are demons, I'm just hoping there's something more organic behind it. Sometimes when we see something tragic we want it to make sense in some sort of overall narrative, like he killed himself because he had a painful incurable terminal disease or realized he was slowly going nuts. May not be the case, but its how the human mind works. Well, most humans anyway.
I said he had my dream life, bukko. Might not have been his dream life, but I suspect it was. He was sufficiently rich and famous that I have no doubt he could have done something else had he wanted.
Yeah, Robin Williams had demons, most incredibly talented people do, and I'm certain Bourdain had his. And perhaps Williams oncoming dementia pushed him into doing something he'd already been thinking about. I dunno, he might also have been thinking about what his oncoming dementia would have done to his loved ones, especially because his involves the onset of violent behavior.
And I watched both my parents die as vegetables, so I have pretty strong views on what one should do if one knows they're going batty. I actually had these discussions with Mrs. Steingar when we first met, since I and all my siblings had our little plans. She couldn't believe it. Then she met what was left of Papa Steingar. After that she said she'd kiss me goodbye.
No way in Odin's nine realms would I have anyone go though that.
35 AoA
Pattern Altitude
Sorry to hear, he was one of my favorites of the travel/food genre....have enjoyed his writing too. Didn't necessarily always agree with his viewpoints, but he did at least seem to care about the world, which is more than I can say about 99% of people on TV. Feel terrible for his young daughter, whom he talked about a decent amount in the last few years, and who was a partially censored presence in his last cookbook. I don't know what is so bad in life that it would convince you to leave a child alone/without you in the world, but obviously people have their reasons. That's the saddest thing in my mind, in this sort of scenario.
Gerhardt
En-Route
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2006
- Messages
- 4,534
- Display Name
Display name:
Gerhardt
Like Kate Spade, I didn't know who this guy was until I read about the death in the headlines. I read a short article a while ago that was pretty cool. Didn't catch a break until his 40s. Didn't hit his real stride until his 50s, and even in his 60s said he felt like he'd stolen a cool car and was still looking in the rear view mirror for flashing lights.
At least he appreciated what he had.
At least he appreciated what he had.
James331
Ejection Handle Pulled
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
- Messages
- 20,309
- Display Name
Display name:
James331
Amen
There is such a thing as a good death and a bad death, and there is something to be said for making that decision yourself if god forbid you find yourself there.
Cruzinchris
Pre-takeoff checklist
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2017
- Messages
- 143
- Display Name
Display name:
Cruzinchris
I really liked him. R.I.P. Anthony
That's the part I have the hardest time understanding with both him and Kate Spade. Both had young kids relatively late in life, both were (at least from the outside) described as excited about it. Spade had sold her company and was able to concentrate on her family while Bourdain had a highly successful show that came with lots of travel. Just goes to show how little all of that matters if the wiring in your head is crossed and something tells you that putting and end to it all is the right course of action.
wsuffa
Touchdown! Greaser!
Twp high-profile celebrities. Folks that people pay attention to. Most suicide victims cause a lot of pain to people that know them or are close to them. A very few reach the global consciousness. Those very few create power to start to be a force for change. Robin Williams, RIP, was another.
No, we don't know what demons Tony faced. We are starting to learn about Kate Spade. Until people - both in the US and abroad - recognize mental illness for what it is, bad things will keep happening. We can recognize cancer, heart disease, and dementia as being illnesses.... but at the same time we shame and hide from depression and mental illness. Unless it's high profile, it gets little attention.
wsuffa
Touchdown! Greaser!
It is a disease. It consumes people. It may be hard to understand, but people with depression lose the ability to care about others. A friend of mine who's ex- recently killed herself relayed a post about depression... comparing it to a snow storm. The gist was that most days it's clear or just a few flakes that can be ignored, other times it becomes like being snowed in until that builds a snowbank so high that there is no way out.
Addiction is much the same way.
denverpilot
Tied Down
You probably don’t want the actual answer to that question. More and more we find those other diseases are genetics and broken DNA, and we also know we’re only treating symptoms on all of them.
We aren’t actually fixing the problem.
In other words, scientifically, If your brain is broken, it’s broken. You can change diet, cram your face full of SSRIs with their truly scary and largely hidden side-effects for SOME patients (making them worse or even dangerous to others), exercise, whatever... you’ll still be broken.
The few folks we know personally with clinical depression say they know this intrinsically and cope with it as best they can. In some the drugs help. Others not.
But the real weirdness comes in how society handles it. If we learn enough to find out through simple tests that someone has a much higher chance of suicide than average, do we ban them from certain activities preemptively? I say no. Life has problems and chances. But I doubt the rules enthusiasts among us will like that answer too much.
Careful what you wish for.
Fearless Tower
Touchdown! Greaser!
I don’t know what was plaguing Bourdain, but it sounds like Kate Spade was fighting bipolar depression for a while. Depression is evil. Bipolar takes it to a whole ‘nother dimension.
BrianNC
En-Route
I saw where her husband was also divorcing her and in her suicide note which she apparently addressed to her daughter she said, "This has nothing to do with you. ... Don't feel guilty. Ask your dad." So she was laying it at his feet.
wsuffa
Touchdown! Greaser!
Just to be clear, I was not advocating for anything other than having society recognize it as an illness. Until we do that, the resources will not be made available to research it, and the person who has it will be shamed into silence. I say that makes society worse off. You may have a different view. When it's hidden or shamed, it cannot be addressed - much as the depths of racism and hatred in this country were not known until the most recent presidential election.... It got hidden and shamed but was still widespread. Again, YMMV.
I do not support pre-emptive banning of people for mental health reasons. That will cause shame and silence. If it become possible to identify times of greatest risk for people, we can get them help or limit the harm to others. As you note, life has risks, but having the ability to identify and address the times of greatest risk can mitigate same.
Yes, I am being idealistic. We both know that in the world of "government must protect is from everything" and people who want to abdicate responsibility to the law will make it nearly impossible to get the kind of limited intervention I envision. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't discuss it.
And seriously, I know that opinions are like ^$$holes: everyone has one.
iflyvfr
Pattern Altitude
That's not the way I read it Brian. I interpret her message as affirming her love for her daughter and urged her to confirm this fact with her father: "Bea — I have always loved you. This is not your fault. Ask Daddy!" Sad for all involved regardless of fame and wealth.
denverpilot
Tied Down
SSRI sales is a $10 BILLION dollar a year industry. I’d say society thinks it’s like any other illness that we treat only symptoms with pills. Were you expecting something else of our medical industry?
Isn’t the second most common question in the medical area here after “How do I pretend I’m not addicted to alcohol?” (The other way people treat mental illness... BTW...), “How do I prove to FAA this idiot doctor who prescribed me a pile of SSRIs when I was young was just making money and didn’t GAF about a proper diagnosis?”
wsuffa
Touchdown! Greaser!
Oh, yeah, I got it. We turn docs into Pez dispensers to "save money" on care. Bull$#|t.
denverpilot
Tied Down
It’s what we do. Can’t tell people they’re broken. Not PC enough.
The memes and jokes have already started though, for those of us still here to enjoy...
Or for those who like a kinder gentler afterlife...
BrianNC
En-Route
Well many didn't interpret like you said because he had left her and it was known she was very distressed by the whole situation. Most I've read interpreted it the way I did. But you never know. I hadn't looked at it like you said.
denverpilot
Tied Down
I’m a sick bastard. I’ll admit it. LOL.
BrianNC
En-Route
It’s what we do. Can’t tell people they’re broken. Not PC enough.
The memes and jokes have already started though, for those of us still here to enjoy...
Or for those who like a kinder gentler afterlife...
Well, it's always tragic when someone commits suicide. But your memes bring up one reason I didn't like him. He was a real snob about food and would criticize those like Guy Fieri and Rachel Ray and other Food Network chefs and others like them. Basically he became famous for writing a 'tell all' book about being a chef and never really was that well known although he was an executive chef at a known restaurant. He just became known for the books and other things. He and Fieri had an ongoing feud because he criticized Fieri all the time. Just that kind of guy because he had to berate other chefs to lift himself up. That's why I didn't like him.
Fearless Tower
Touchdown! Greaser!
Some of that may be tabloid stuff.
I have no doubt that the separation they were going through was directly related to the bipolar issue. Bipolar depression is a *****. I have a friend who’s wife is bipolar. I don’t know how he does it.
That said, I get the sense Andy was legitimately trying to make it work.
denverpilot
Tied Down
Yeah they did. Not sure either one was all that and a bag of chips, but whatever. I’m usually more interested in what Alton Brown has to say about cooking’s finer points.
As it stands, Brown said he liked “Tony” as he called him, and said he was an “interesting guy”. Being that Alton is a careful man in his words, it’s notable he said nothing about Anthony’s cooking skill.
One of the most interesting Brown interviews is a session he did at Google HQ a number of years ago where that quote comes from and also a fairly long description of the difference between early Food Network and modern Food Network and how it has changed from cooking enthusiasts to a generalized audience that mostly doesn’t cook but wants to be entertained by cooking.
Plus Alton’s a pilot. So there’s that. He owned a 206 for a while.
In that interview at Google he lamented that he can’t get any TV execs interested in an airport restaurant (or nearby) travel / food show, even with the demographic changes in food TV over to an entertainment bent.
And of course, Alton is restarting Good Eats this year too. Yay!
BrianNC
En-Route
He actually had his 206 in at least one episode where I think he was flying some seafood from maybe New Orleans. He lives here in Atlanta. I Googled to see if he still had the plane and the only thing I could come up with was, "he has owned two planes: a Cessna 206 and a Cessna 414." Maybe he upgraded to the 414. That was from an article in June of last year.