Amanda had a really hard day. During dressing change this morning she started bleeding really bad and they had a hard time stoping it. Her body has gotten to the point that if you touch her or even look at her wrong she starts bleeding and her blood is not coagulating. Her wounds today looked more infected then the last three days and the antibiotics don't seem to be doing much. Her kidneys have almost completely shut down, her liver is starting to fail and she looks like she was still in a lot of pain. The doctors believe she wouldn't make it another two weeks in time for the EpiCels much less the procedure and I have to agree after seeing her wounds. So, I made the hardest decision of my life today and put her on Comfort Care. They have taken her off most everything with the exception of the ventilator, sedation meds and pain meds. They placed her in a more comfortable position and are doing everything to make her as comfortable as possible.
I believe at this point this is what she would want me to do. I also believe if she did pull through at this point she would kill me for it, a month ago I would have said otherwise. This is a decision I never in my life would have thought I would have to make nor ever wanted too. But, I don't want her to go through another four weeks of hell when we know it will do no good. We do not have a time table on things, most likely a day or two. I will continue to keep you all updated.
Know that she is not alone her mom, brother and his wife, my mother, myself and all of you in spirit are here with her. I feel Amanda will be very happy to see her dad, my dad and of corse Jackson again. But the hardest thing is she's leaving us all behind, till another day.
Amanda my love, I love you with all my heart, soul and everything I am. Our life together here was supposed to be seventy years not seven, but I look forward to seeing you in my dreams every night my love.
Thank you all for your love, support and help through all this.
Goodnight and God bless,
Kyle