I must comment on the events leading up to yesterday (Wednesday) while they are still fresh in my memory. First let me set the stage:
I am taking radiation five days a week. It is focused on the tumor between the pleura and my left lung and is causing no apparent short term discomfort. But it also is focusesd on the lymph nodes along my bronchial tube and this one due to the tight space they are working with causes a "sunburn" on the bronchial tube and more uncomfortably, the esophagus
I am scheduled for chemo once a week on Thursday. It is primarily to keep the tumor busy so the radiation can sneak up on it. Its primary short term effect is general weakness and overwhelming fatigue.
The effects of these combined are cumulative, each week is worse. Last week, a scheduling problem caused the chemo to move to Friday Which delayed the effect until Sunday/Monday, when the esophageal problem crests. Friday was a good day, but by Saturday I was sinking fast. Sunday I couldn't manage to get anything down my throat without extreme discomfort. By Monday, it was pain heading towards the upper end of the scale.
It is hard to be positive when you hurt, and my reserves of strength and will previously depleted by the pnuemonia are nearly gone. By Tuesday, all reserve is gone and I can't move without crying in frustration and pain.
The oncologist suggests that we postpone the chemo on thursday and give me chance to recover a bit more. We take it under advisement, not wanting to disrupt the plan of treatment just because I am a wimp.
Wednesday morning, I can't swallow at all. Taking the morning's five pills nearly knocked me flat. We went to the last resort, A Maalox/Lidocaine solution just to get the morning glass of milk and pills down. We cancelled Thursday's chemo and got ready for the radiation. This is the lowest I can ever remebmer being. I couldn't look at Sandra without crying over the love and concern in her eyes. And I think I saw some fear there also. I know I was scared.
I drank an Ensure and took my Hydrocodone before attempting a shower. In the shower, I became aware that I was doing better than I expected. Shaving was a ***** as my hands were shaking, but I could laugh at it. By the time we got to the lab, I felt like I could make that long walk from the door. I did, and the walk down the ramp to the machine room. On the table, I was relaxed and the pain was washing away. As we are driving out of the parking lot, I realize that I feel better than I have since Friday and I am actually smiling. We came home and I ate an entire bowl of soup with no discomfort. A small bowl of banana pudding and a short nap during the news a and then chicken alfredo for supper. Oh so good and the pasta being a little al dente didn't stop me from eating the entire serving. By now, my attitude is back where I like it and I am almost having fun again.
If someone was praying for me about 12-1PM on Wednesday, it worked! I could have never imagined such a complete turnaround so fast.
Today, this week's raduation is hitting the sunburn again and I am having some difficulty swallowing, but it ain't that bad.
I just need to relate this eposode so that y'all wouldn't be painting me as some sort of hero. I do get down, but I know that there is a light out there somewhere that I am striving towards.and I will make it.
Again, I thank all of you sincerely for your concern, caring, love and prayers.
I am taking radiation five days a week. It is focused on the tumor between the pleura and my left lung and is causing no apparent short term discomfort. But it also is focusesd on the lymph nodes along my bronchial tube and this one due to the tight space they are working with causes a "sunburn" on the bronchial tube and more uncomfortably, the esophagus
I am scheduled for chemo once a week on Thursday. It is primarily to keep the tumor busy so the radiation can sneak up on it. Its primary short term effect is general weakness and overwhelming fatigue.
The effects of these combined are cumulative, each week is worse. Last week, a scheduling problem caused the chemo to move to Friday Which delayed the effect until Sunday/Monday, when the esophageal problem crests. Friday was a good day, but by Saturday I was sinking fast. Sunday I couldn't manage to get anything down my throat without extreme discomfort. By Monday, it was pain heading towards the upper end of the scale.
It is hard to be positive when you hurt, and my reserves of strength and will previously depleted by the pnuemonia are nearly gone. By Tuesday, all reserve is gone and I can't move without crying in frustration and pain.
The oncologist suggests that we postpone the chemo on thursday and give me chance to recover a bit more. We take it under advisement, not wanting to disrupt the plan of treatment just because I am a wimp.
Wednesday morning, I can't swallow at all. Taking the morning's five pills nearly knocked me flat. We went to the last resort, A Maalox/Lidocaine solution just to get the morning glass of milk and pills down. We cancelled Thursday's chemo and got ready for the radiation. This is the lowest I can ever remebmer being. I couldn't look at Sandra without crying over the love and concern in her eyes. And I think I saw some fear there also. I know I was scared.
I drank an Ensure and took my Hydrocodone before attempting a shower. In the shower, I became aware that I was doing better than I expected. Shaving was a ***** as my hands were shaking, but I could laugh at it. By the time we got to the lab, I felt like I could make that long walk from the door. I did, and the walk down the ramp to the machine room. On the table, I was relaxed and the pain was washing away. As we are driving out of the parking lot, I realize that I feel better than I have since Friday and I am actually smiling. We came home and I ate an entire bowl of soup with no discomfort. A small bowl of banana pudding and a short nap during the news a and then chicken alfredo for supper. Oh so good and the pasta being a little al dente didn't stop me from eating the entire serving. By now, my attitude is back where I like it and I am almost having fun again.
If someone was praying for me about 12-1PM on Wednesday, it worked! I could have never imagined such a complete turnaround so fast.
Today, this week's raduation is hitting the sunburn again and I am having some difficulty swallowing, but it ain't that bad.
I just need to relate this eposode so that y'all wouldn't be painting me as some sort of hero. I do get down, but I know that there is a light out there somewhere that I am striving towards.and I will make it.
Again, I thank all of you sincerely for your concern, caring, love and prayers.
