A heads up for newbies at Valentine time.

Bob Bement

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Bob Bement
I don't have all the answers as I have only been married since 1952, that is going on 57 years. But, I would like to share this little tidbit I came across recently:

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome", that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Study these and you will be FINE.
 

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those are great, Bob! :)

My wife and I have an agreement that we don't do flowers on Valentine's Day, since they're so very overpriced that week. (We don't do chocolates either since starting Weight Watchers) ... but I broke my promise and ordered her some flowers - found a "good deal" on line ... we'll see what kind of "good deal" I got on Saturday when they deliver. Hopefully, they're not greeted with a long sigh and a "they're fine" :)
 
By my count that's 19 words not 9.

If that's any sample, it sounds like they need a dictionary more than flowers.


Sorry dear, you keep using that word - I do not think that word means what you think it means.
 
If you have a good florist in your area, you can get an arrangement the week before and they'll still be nice. Online, I have had good luck with proflowers.
The best deal I ever got was a Victoria's Secret special which included a dozen roses (delivered by another vendor). The order got bollixed up and my SO got a dozen romantically signed by Mike and HIS SO got mine. Both my SO and me called feigning outrage, that by the time VS was done, we'd had 2 more dozen plus a $100 gift certificate.
I wonder how Mike fared through this. I often wonder if he was angered because she got a dozen signed "A Secret Admirer".
Congrats Bob on your 57 years. You must have been married at birth!
 
If you have a good florist in your area, you can get an arrangement the week before and they'll still be nice. Online, I have had good luck with proflowers.
The best deal I ever got was a Victoria's Secret special which included a dozen roses (delivered by another vendor). The order got bollixed up and my SO got a dozen romantically signed by Mike and HIS SO got mine. Both my SO and me called feigning outrage, that by the time VS was done, we'd had 2 more dozen plus a $100 gift certificate.
I wonder how Mike fared through this. I often wonder if he was angered because she got a dozen signed "A Secret Admirer".
Congrats Bob on your 57 years. You must have been married at birth!

No. I am older than rock. That is what makes dirt isn't it? Almost we went together in H.S. and got married in July after we both graduated in May. We were both 17. They said it wouldn't last and hell maybe it won't. But, 56 years is a while. You just have to know how to say "Yes Dear". The biggest argument we had was when I bought an airplane.
 
Scary - that list goes for my missus too!

The really ice cold word is "Fine." It never means what you think it means. Quite the opposite, really. I think in Latin it means "You are in the frickin' doghouse now buddy and you might as well take a blanket and rations 'cause you're not getting out of it any time in this decade!"

Together 24yrs, married 17.
 
Scary - that list goes for my missus too!

The really ice cold word is "Fine." It never means what you think it means. Quite the opposite, really. I think in Latin it means "You are in the frickin' doghouse now buddy and you might as well take a blanket and rations 'cause you're not getting out of it any time in this decade!"

Together 24yrs, married 17.

"Fine" is one of those words that makes me want to become and stay a bachelor for all eternity.

Loud sighs are the specialty of my SO... Evokes an almost immediate "What'd I do now?" response.
 
Bob, you may not have a future with her, but you're having fun for now...

...which, I think, is the secret to having a future with her!
 
Scary -
The really ice cold word is "Fine." It never means what you think it means. Quite the opposite, really. I think in Latin it means "You are in the frickin' doghouse now buddy and you might as well take a blanket and rations 'cause you're not getting out of it any time in this decade!"

Together 24yrs, married 17.

Excellent point Andrew and you should know that it cuts both ways ...well what I mean is if she says it your in for it. And if you say it the results can be just as tragic. My advice is never respond to your wife or girlfriend with the word "Fine" as it Honey how do I look in this blouse? Fine is not an acceptable answer because "Fine" is not good enough.
 
Trick is know who you're with or who you're interested in, and what they expect out of you. It's best if you can find one of the rare ones who will actually help you out in understanding what's expected of you.

When I was engaged, she loved surprises. I think it was the first year we were dating I left from Indiana on Friday late morning, and showed up at her door (750 miles away) right at the time when we normally talked on the phone with a dozen roses. Important not to be late, as I was always punctual about when I called. That seemed to go over well.

Alternately, another girl I was interested in hated surprises. She about strangled me the one time I surprised her, even though she loved what I brought her. Learned my lesson - the gift got to stay, I had to leave. ;)

Bob, thanks for the laugh, and congrats on 57 years of marriage!
 
That dictionary is about right on. I haven't been married quite as long (35 years last summer), but I'm slowly catching on. :D
 
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for expressing these truths. I have a coworker who consistently shoots down whatever I suggest. Today, when she did in an email, I responded with "Fine, what's your suggestion."

:rofl:
 
Peggy, After you tell her "FINE" then make a copy of the nine words and accidentally drop it on he desk when she is away from it, eating he dog food.:smile:
 
Excellent point Andrew and you should know that it cuts both ways ...well what I mean is if she says it your in for it. And if you say it the results can be just as tragic. My advice is never respond to your wife or girlfriend with the word "Fine" as it Honey how do I look in this blouse? Fine is not an acceptable answer because "Fine" is not good enough.


Hehe, I pretty much nipped that in the bud once I realized that there was NO correct answer to that question.

I now respond, "What would you like the answer to be? 'Cause if I say you look fine, you'll claim I'm lying, and if I say you look fat, you'll freak out. So, what do you want me to say, and i'll say it" She doesn't bother any more.:D
 
Alternately, another girl I was interested in hated surprises. She about strangled me the one time I surprised her, even though she loved what I brought her. Learned my lesson - the gift got to stay, I had to leave. ;)

Boy, I hope you didn't have to drive 750 miles for THAT one! :rofl:

I like girls who like surprises, 'cuz I like giving surprises. :yes:
 
Boy, I hope you didn't have to drive 750 miles for THAT one! :rofl:

Actually, that one was just down the street from where I was anyway, which worked out well. :)

And I was exaggerating. After she looked at me and said "I'm going to kill you" I said "Do you want help with your physics homework?" and she said "Since you're here, might as well."

So maybe it didn't work out so badly after all. ;)

I like girls who like surprises, 'cuz I like giving surprises. :yes:

I like girls who I like. I haven't found a lot of common traits otherwise. :smilewinkgrin:
 
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