Single Pilot "Emergencies"

Flight bag thread…

I’ve had a less than perfect landing when I opted for a bathroom at my destination rather than a wide mouth Gatorade bottle. It wasn’t THAT bad 30 minutes earlier. Poor ADM, lol!
 
Years ago we were in a wine shop and they had this decanter. My wife asked me if it reminded me of anything. I said, yeah, it looks like a little john with a lady-j adapter.
 
Years ago we were in a wine shop and they had this decanter. My wife asked me if it reminded me of anything. I said, yeah, it looks like a little john with a lady-j adapter.
Dat’s why dey call it dat…cuz it’s de can ter pee in.
 
On the flight deck of this thing….

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Of course, Delta just had another poop-related diversion.
 
It’s not the manufacturers who necessarily want single-pilot airliners. They just build what the airlines pay them to build. This ad should replace “planemakers” with “airline management” or “uninformed stockholders who can’t see the big picture”.
 
Hehe, so there I was… sitting relief in capt seat about 30 west on the NAT tracks.

And it hit me…. Stopped talking to the c/p mid sentence!

I picked up the handset and dinged the FAs… need to come out NOW!!

Ok, we’ll set up the carts blah blah blah

Me: fine, if you can do that before I can take three steps towards the door (767, pretty big cockpit), great…

SOMEHOW they did!! Was impressive.
 
So… there we were, briefing for some long mission in the old war Hoover.

At the end Tuna says, “remember it’s a long mission, bring your piddle packs.”

Mouth, chick pilot in the squadron pipes up… “I’m wearing mine….”

D’OH!!! TMI. TMI.

As a (catastrophically stupid) show of, well, something… the Navy discontinued supplying piddle packs in favor of Depends for EVERYONE.

Ya. No.

As every maint squadron in the navy ran out of those mechanic zip lock bags, and every 1st Lt division ran out of dehydrated sponges as we made our own… that program was abandoned!
 
...and ATC just asked it to "keep your speed up as long as possible, fast moving traffic behind you".
Nope, they gave me a 2 minute 360.

I was a student pilot on my cross-country. And I had to pee for about an hour and 45 minutes and when I was on final into Grand Rapids I'm really getting the urge to go and tower gives me a 2 minute 360 to let a jet land on the other runway.
 
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