When to know when to quit...or at least take a long hiatus

labbadabba

labbadabba

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labbadabba
I feel like this is somewhat redundant since if I'm writing a post on knowing when to quit, I've probably answered my own question... Yes, and... I don't want to!

I worked so hard on my ratings and have always dreamed of being a pilot. I'd love a pilot career but with special needs kiddos in the picture, it ain't happening... Other commitments demand my time and I don't fly enough to really feel proficient and I could take that monthly flying club membership and do something else, like use it for a payment on a sweet camper or something.

But I don't want to quit! I take a lot of pride in calling myself a pilot. I feel like walking away takes away my ability to call myself a pilot. Like, "really, you're a pilot? We should go flying" - "well, yeah, except I don't fly anymore..."

Anyway, I have every reason in life right now that says walk away, but I don't want to...
 
Nothing wrong with stepping back when life overtakes you. I’ve done it several times and in fact on a hiatus right now. Work has me in France a week or two every month, so there isn’t much time to fly.
 
I agree…nothing wrong with taking a break, and it sounds to me like your family needs the time and attention.

personally, I’m two airplanes down from what I was before I got married.
 
Been there, done (doing) that..

I went two years without even having a valid medical just because I wasn't flying at all. Eventually had a trip come up that got me pulled back in to being more active for a year or so, but now I'm back in the 'haven't flown in nearly a year' boat. It's frustrating - I would definitely like to be flying more - but life happens.
 
It's been essentially 3 years since I stopped flying entirely. I've been in a GA plane a few times since then. I've never regretted it, rarely missed it.

I've basically replaced flying with increased motorcycling and the RV. The motorcycling is my "me" thing that helps keep my sanity, and compared to flying is cheap.

RVing and the RV trips we've done are, hands down, the best thing we've done with our kids. We just spent 4 weeks and nearly 5k miles on the road in our 40' bus. Our kids didn't want the trip to end, even though things got derailed slightly when I broke my wrist. We spent the drive home thinking about our next trips.
 
I basically quit flying for several years during law school. "Life got in the way" so to speak. I still considered myself a pilot, just an inactive one. But once those aspects of life eased up, I found my way back to flying. So, just to pile on, in other words, when life gets in the way, something has to give. And sometimes that's flying.
 
Once a pilot, always a pilot; the only question is if your current or not. I took a decade-plus break with only one flight in between courtesy of GWOT and kids.

Came back to it when I had the time, money, and desire. Flying is back to being a relaxing endeavor with most of our flights being to places instead of for currency/proficiency.
 
I quit flying because quite honestly... I lost the mission. I flew the living s***t out of my plane when I was actively going to project sites, or personal places. Then I started flying just to be flying. Flying is super fun, don't get me wrong, but flying just to be flying isn't super fun. At least not rewarding.

I wouldn't mind picking it up again. Maybe with a light sport. I still have it in me, I just haven't gone back yet.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Flying is super fun, don't get me wrong, but flying just to be flying isn't super fun.
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I'm in the same boat, I love flying... to places. Just going up and landing at the departure airport is boring. Even during training, I always tried to convince my CFI to go places with me, check out different airports, make up some sort of mission like "let's see what the water level is like in lake XYZ this spring", because I hated the thought of going up just to go up. So, if I lost my mission (flying me and my family to vacation and weekend trips + flying myself to my consulting clients), I wouldn't know if I even wanted to keep flying.
 
Sac Arrow said:
but flying just to be flying isn't super fun. At least not rewarding.
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For the spam can crowd, yes that's very much a theme. It's a horses for courses type of thing. I've lost interest in the Arrow recently because I too lost the traveling mission, with my wife re-entering the workforce last year and the kid's ever increasing travel-restricting schedules. But I'd still be flying the snot out of it if I could loop it (legally... not today FAA :fingerwag: ).

The main draw for me about flying was being able to go upside down, formation, and high-maneuverable flight. Always was. Traveling was never a draw for me, but it is a benefit to society at large, so I'm grateful I can derive a living (when I become .civ only) as a result of that demand.

I did want to share the views and passion with the fam while they were young, but couldn't really justify the underutilization and cost of two airplanes at the time, so I prioritized a spam can. No ragrets, got awesome memories and trips with them. But things change, which is to say they all come to an end.

There are other sectors of the hobby (like the STOL people), who are drawn to certain niches that don't necessarily make traveling the primary draw, recreationally. This forum just leans majority traveling spam can.
 
labbadabba said:
I feel like this is somewhat redundant since if I'm writing a post on knowing when to quit, I've probably answered my own question... Yes, and... I don't want to!

I worked so hard on my ratings and have always dreamed of being a pilot. I'd love a pilot career but with special needs kiddos in the picture, it ain't happening... Other commitments demand my time and I don't fly enough to really feel proficient and I could take that monthly flying club membership and do something else, like use it for a payment on a sweet camper or something.

But I don't want to quit! I take a lot of pride in calling myself a pilot. I feel like walking away takes away my ability to call myself a pilot. Like, "really, you're a pilot? We should go flying" - "well, yeah, except I don't fly anymore..."

Anyway, I have every reason in life right now that says walk away, but I don't want to...
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I would recommend against it. After earning many rating and becoming an active CFII, I took a 'short' break due to the same reasons as you - family, work, special needs child etc.. Before I knew it, tens years had gone by. I can't remember what inspired me to get back in, but I am glad I did, and I regretted having taken that 'short' break.
 
Many pilots drift out of flying when they have young kids or other priorities or tight finances, and return later. I didn't fly for about 15 years... flew a bunch of R/C in the interim, then drifted back into real flying via paramotors and ultralights. Going places, or not going places, in a spam can never appealed to me, but biplanes, aerobatics, and fun airplanes are still keeping my interest.
 
Half Fast said:
So why not get an aerobatic plane instead? Rent as necessary for those infrequent family missions.
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Oh I am/will. Was bidding for RV-6a in late 20/early 21, then inflation hit like a mother and everything went cray cray. Waiting on a buyer's market to re-emerge. Not in a hurry, thankfully still have the work airplane lets me go upside down. To clarify, I am now in a position to afford two airplanes, the purchase of the acro bird is not contingent on selling the arrow.
 
Never hurts to take some time off to attend to other matters .give yourself time to think things over. Good luck.
 
I previously took a 13 year break. It happens. Family comes first (even your mother-in-law.....sigh).
 
I sometimes feel the same way. The weekly beach home mission is gone since we retired at the beach. For me just boring holes in the sky is a PITA. I’m just not motivated to do pattern work or breakfast runs.

My bride and I had visited 34 states by GA and now in retirement should be adding to that count. We do a few good trips a year, Florida and family friend visits up north. Planning Charleston and Grand Strand in September and a possible Texas get-away in October. I’m trying to keep myself in the game beyond current wanting to keep proficient.
 
labbadabba said:
I take a lot of pride in calling myself a pilot. I feel like walking away takes away my ability to call myself a pilot.
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You'll ALWAYS be a pilot. And you can/should take pride in that. I got my Private in 1989, moved to California, started my career, started a family, etc., and ended up not flying for 20+ years, getting back into it in 2011. I still was a pilot during that time.

My sister hasn't flown since 1991. She's still a pilot. My almost 90 year old father, who taught both my sister and me to fly, hasn't flown in 20 years. He's still a pilot. Just because you are maybe going to take a break from flying for other things doesn't invalidate all the hard work you did to become a pilot. You'll always be a medical and a flight review away from slipping the surly bonds again. Don't think of this as quitting, just think of it as having other things to do right now. But, you'll always be a pilot.


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I took a break for about 6 years after getting married and getting my career started. Went back via an aero club for 12 years before purchasing my own plane. Have been an owner since 1999. Did some family flying for about 8 years, but not much since 2008. Own my plane outright, so no need to see. Still enjoy the weekend flying. Hoped to do more XC in retirement, then Covid hit. Youngest daughter lives about 300 nm away, so hope to do more flying with the wife back and forth to visit. We shall see.
 
Absolutely take a break ... i took a 8 year break in my student pilot training. The wife fell really ill and I dropped everything. Then there were kids to put through college. A business venture and a career. But eventually I went back and finished and now the important stuff is taken care of there is less reason to not fly now so I do :D It also helps greatly when the important stuff is solved there is less guilt/pressure because were spending money on a hobby (my wife's words lol) so that a plus as well.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I quit flying because quite honestly... I lost the mission. I flew the living s***t out of my plane when I was actively going to project sites, or personal places. Then I started flying just to be flying. Flying is super fun, don't get me wrong, but flying just to be flying isn't super fun. At least not rewarding.

I wouldn't mind picking it up again. Maybe with a light sport. I still have it in me, I just haven't gone back yet.
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You just need a more funner plane to fly. :D

My friend, who did a career in airial mapping was in a similar situation. He got a J-3 and loves flying it to be flying it.

I love my Mooney, but it is not a plane I will take out to fly for an hour to just fly. It is more of a go someplace airplane. So I am looking at adding a nice 2 place aerobatic plane. :D

I have taken two breaks from flying. The first was for about 6 years. We were starting a business, started racing sailboats, and I had a medical issue that caused me to stop my military flying. I got back into flying for about 10 years, they took a 20 year break. This time is was mainly cars that took up my time, energy, and money.
 
Ted said:
I've basically replaced flying with increased motorcycling and the RV. The motorcycling is my "me" thing that helps keep my sanity, and compared to flying is cheap.
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Maybe you should try automobile racing....
;)
 
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Reactions: Ted
Started flying in 1989 we bought a house in March of 1993, my son was born in June and I stopped flying that August. Daughter born in 1996. Life happens. Fast forward 20+ years kids were grown and decided I needed to fly so I started again in 2014 and have loved every minute of it.

I have never had a mission to go places. I would like to but it has just never worked out, maybe some day, but unlike some folks here flying just to fly makes me very happy. I volunteer at a warplane museum and fly some of the simple single engine stuff. I love taking people up. I never need an excuse to fly.

Take time if you need it you can always come back.
 
I'll add that I rarely enjoyed flying the family anywhere when I did. One on one times with the kids was good, and the dog flights we did together were also good (although those did reduce carrying capacity, so we didn't do those much). But a lot of screaming, boredom, and fighting, always felt like I was spending an awful lot of money to not enjoy myself.

The bus is not only much cheaper, but has more room for the kids to move around and more opportunities for the kids to do things. It took us 3 days to drive home from San Francisco for a trip that would've been an afternoon non-stop in the MU-2, but somehow none of us really minded. That's me, though, most of my friends seem to really enjoy flying their families places.
 
Ted said:
I'll add that I rarely enjoyed flying the family anywhere when I did. One on one times with the kids was good, and the dog flights we did together were also good (although those did reduce carrying capacity, so we didn't do those much). But a lot of screaming, boredom, and fighting, always felt like I was spending an awful lot of money to not enjoy myself.

The bus is not only much cheaper, but has more room for the kids to move around and more opportunities for the kids to do things. It took us 3 days to drive home from San Francisco for a trip that would've been an afternoon non-stop in the MU-2, but somehow none of us really minded. That's me, though, most of my friends seem to really enjoy flying their families places.
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Yeah, I keep having dreams of taking trips in the club plane but I just have so few missions where it's even practical or enjoyable (I have similar experiences flying with kiddos). It sucks that my airport is a 50 minute drive from my house so that adds even more time to a trip overall. Lawrence has a nice airport but no access to overnight rentals or clubs. I have access to a Champ and that is a hoot and a half to fly so maybe that's where I need to devote some time.

I have a new sim with full G1000 panels so I'm staying IFR proficient (but not legally current) and that usually scratches the itch.
 
I have had some medical issues which have kept me off the controls for 6 years (which is shocking, it feels like 2). Forced hiatus I suppose, but also I have not had the funds to be flying enough over the past few years to be comfortable. I am a big flight sim nerd, and I work in aviation... so still connected that way, but I am itching to get back in a small airplane. I don't know if I can get my medical, but I am at least going to go for a dual flight or two every once in awhile to keep my head in the game somewhat.
 
bflynn said:
Nothing wrong with stepping back when life overtakes you. I’ve done it several times and in fact on a hiatus right now. Work has me in France a week or two every month, so there isn’t much time to fly.
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But I'll bet you get a boatload of frequent flyer miles!
 
Yes, but I’ve been doing this long enough that I prefer the infrequent flyer miles instead. Seeing new places is fun, but so is staying home and having a life.
 
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