What'd I miss? I was in the bathroom. I taxied into a traffic cone today. I am not robert lomax.

SixPapaCharlie

SixPapaCharlie

May the force be with you
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Sorry, I had tummy issues. What did I miss?

So today was a crap day. I planned to go to the airport and knock out this genius instructional video but I was sort of tired from the audits at work and I forgot to eat dinner.

Maybe flying will make me feel better.

I thought I will fly to this little uncontrolled field so people aren't looking at me like I am a dumbs**t while I film myself.

Get out there start it up (for the first time in a hundred hours I didn't do a big walk around after my preflight)

Start to taxi and FOOOMP! this traffic cone goes flying down the ramp.
There goes the whole "so people aren't looking at me like I am a dumbs**t" thing

It goes maybe 30 yards right through into window of a 182. And I mean it shatters it.

I kept thinking this day can't get any worse. That is when I realize that there is someone in the 182. A man and a little Labrador puppy either just landed or were about to go for a flight. Either way I'm like in a panic.

I shut everything down and walk over to the guy and he is bleeding from his temple.
He is screaming and yelling about lawyers and crap. I tell him I have a first aid deal in my plane and I am going to get it.

I don't know what I was thinking. I just fired it up and taxied. I guess nobody really realized what had happened because I made my call to the tower and they were all "36 Via Bravo and Alpha"

I took off and flew for awhile feeling terrible and light headed. Then it started to set in what I had done. I couldn't believe I would even have made the decision to fly on an empty stomach. Bypassed the IM SAFE thing completely.

I had the auto pilot on because I was flustered and tried to collect myself. I really wanted to film my video on being your own safety pilot. I put on the foggles and went through the whole thing and it was really good stuff. I never felt unsafe because the auto pilot was on and I could see traffic on the avedyne. Then it dawned on me how stupid I was. Instead of hitting record, I hit the power button and didn't film any of it. UGH!!!! Whatever just go somewhere I said.

This is when I looked down and noticed that the auto pilot wasn't engaged. I NEVER TURNED IT ON!!!

I had probably drifted easily 2 to 3 miles off course by now and really had no way of determining where I was. I had a flight bag with sectionals, E6bs, protractors but nobody knows how to use that crap.

I grabbed the FAR AIM to see if it had any location references in it. Let's be honest, I maybe read half a page before I just decided it wasn't worth it.

Now I am hungry, I am lost, Probably a murderer. I am sure there is a little dog licking the cold dead face of his pilot on the ramp.

I decide the journey has to stop.

I decide to head to an airport where I used to go for BBQ and call the authorities and let them know what happened.

I manage to get there and land. The BBQ lady is picking up a couple that flew in and she looks at me and says "I got room for one more"

Well... It is good BBQ. I go. The brisket was awesome. Funny how a little food in your belly changes everything.

I decided since I am going to lose my license, I better go home and deal with everything there since I am now a 4 hour drive from home.

I fly back to Denton and I can still see the 182 with the cone still in the windshield.
The man is there and he is talking to 3 people. One has a badge. He starts pointing at me.

I know I am screwed so I taxi over. I am taxiing and all of the sudden FOOMP!! A little Labrador puppy goes flying like 30 yards down the ramp and right into the windshield of a King Air.

There were pieces of that little puppy everywhere.

Sure enough, a guy comes climbing out of the king air with a rare, albino, Jamaican seeing-eye deer.
His forehead is bleeding. He starts screaming. I said "Hold on, I have a deal in my plane with bandages."


So here I am... Circling over north Dallas. I have a few hours of fuel remaining and nowhere to go.
It is starting to get dark though and I am once again getting hungry. Not in a Robert Lomax kind of way either.

This really sucks. And I know when I land, that deer is going flying into the windshield of a 737.

What a really bad day this has been.

And I still have a huge mess to deal with once I land. I can't even imagine how you clean puppy guts off a propeller.




Anywho....
My video turned out sh**ty because some of that^ is true.
And I really want to play the 2 lies and a truth game so I just whipped this up in hopes of satisfying something more substantial for 10k then just working the word dildo into a post. ;)
 
Last edited:
AdamZ said:
Have you been into Happy Butt?
Click to expand...

So folks know what that's about...

2582284f28df79cd64c55d81d925f530.jpg


I bought a giant E6B for your return party, @SixPapeCharlie ...

621c2c54f043b3829363afb61d391ebb.jpg


It even says its an "Air Classic". Vintage! Bonus!
 
Oh and yes, that's my OSH band still on. I said I'd leave it on until the checkride... Little did I know it would become a permanent fixture.
 
You should change your name so you won't be recognized. Maybe "Ted".
 
denverpilot said:
It doesn't.

https://skyvector.com/airport/6CO7/Happy-Butt-Airport

I am really tempted to contact the owner for condition info and land there, just to say I have a Happy Butt in my logbook.

Jokes from elsewhere include references to straight-ins, and whether or not hot temperatures with only 2000' of runway will allow you to get into Happy Butt and not get back out. ;)

Any traffic in Happy Butt, please advise!
Click to expand...

You can say you greased one into happy butt.
 
Dude, thank the good Lord you are back. Now maybe we won't have 7 threads going about what happened to you, in what manner you will return, whether or not your absence was the cause of Cajun's 30 minute break from posting stuff, and I think there was talk of mrs6pc having left you, preceded by and followed by what I would consider to be inappropriate comments about what resides in her sweater???? In short, it got wicked silly in here, and not good silly, it was weird silly. Seems like some poor fella got pegged as being your alter ego too. I bet that guy is feeling pretty small right now knowing that our community just turned him into someone else. It was strange. Welcome back.
 
New phone system about to be ordered for the yard... Maybe I need to get Bryan to record the auto attendant prompts.
 
AggieMike88 said:
New phone system about to be ordered for the yard... Maybe I need to get Bryan to record the auto attendant prompts.
Click to expand...

I can see where that's going to end up...

"Thank you for calling the Yard. For Sales, press 1. For Billing, press 2. For a company directory by last name, press 3. For our operator, pull the red handle, and press Zero.

We are dedicated to you and customer service. If at any time you wish to speak to Happy Butt, our boss, Mike, who bought this nifty new phone system and let us play with it and program it.. Dial 666. If he's not available we've wired up a radio connected to the local Heavy Metal station for your listening enjoyment while you wait. Heavy Metal is what we DO here at the Yard, after all! Rock on!

Thank you again for calling The Yard, and we hope to remain your choice in almost but not quite broken stuff that isn't ready to go on the dead cart, at reasonable prices!

To repeat these options, remain on the line.

(Muffled noises... Bryan asking someone in the background, "What button do I hit to stop this, again? Ok... I missed it the first time you told me, it's the tinnitus from being in that metal band...")"

:)
 
Happy 10k! Hope the "true part" wasn't that you hit the cone, I mean, puppy. :)
 
Yep, that was a historic post...remind me of y2k and my wedding night, a bit of a let down.
 
Take the puppy off the propeller and sell it as healing puppy cream. It's magical stuff.
 
denverpilot said:
It doesn't.

https://skyvector.com/airport/6CO7/Happy-Butt-Airport

I am really tempted to contact the owner for condition info and land there, just to say I have a Happy Butt in my logbook.

Jokes from elsewhere include references to straight-ins, and whether or not hot temperatures with only 2000' of runway will allow you to get into Happy Butt and not get back out. ;)

Any traffic in Happy Butt, please advise!
Click to expand...

Ask if they have a Back Course instrument approach.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Jeez, I get like two days of limelight, maybe three, and now he's back.
Click to expand...
It's cool. I am still being audited for a couple more weeks.
I needed to get this 10k thing out of the way.

Back to getting grilled over every freaking login, software install, network cable change, coffee break, and pizz taken over the last 13 months.
 
Sorry, Sac (I still can't refrain from thinking about a scrotum when I see your name). You're Uncle Rico in this episode of Napoleon Dynamite.
 
JCranford said:
I oughta know better than to read ANYTHING you post and try to drink coffee. I gotta go get some napkins.
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If you happen to see a cone on the ramp that is split vertically, that's my handy work.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
It's cool. I am still being audited for a couple more weeks.
I needed to get this 10k thing out of the way.

Back to getting grilled over every freaking login, software install, network cable change, coffee break, and pizz taken over the last 13 months.
Click to expand...
Throw a good ol' temper tantrum. See how that goes. :)
 
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