What builds character?

Diana

Diana

Final Approach
Joined
Feb 21, 2005
Messages
6,163
Location
Southwest MO
Display Name
Display name:
Diana
I've been pondering this lately and wondered what your thoughts are? What does the expression even mean..."building character"? How do you "build character" anyway? :dunno:
 
Diana, I do not think you "build" it as much as teach it, but the teaching comes in many forms, including (for example) exhibiting character for the "student" to emulate, and enforcing strong moral and ethical standards.

Offer proof, in words and deeds, that doing the right thing (in whatever pursuit) must inevitably lead to greater rewards, and hope like heck that the subject is watching, listening, caring.

$0.02.
 
spikes idea sounds about right to me. "building character" seems to me to be a great way to get your kids to do the stuff you dont want to do though :)
 
Character = Doing the right thing when nobody but you will ever know.

It's generally built by being in situations where attention to detail matters, and nobody's looking over your shoulder. It gets reinforced when you hurt yourself by doing the "easy" thing, and learn the lesson. If you're lucky, nobody else has to suffer while you learn the lesson.

At summer camp, we would take the older kids on a "supervised solo" trip, where they would go camping out for a couple of nights, with a counselor nearby but not participating. They could call for help (and thus end the exercise) if needed, and the counselor would be sneaky so that a proud kid wouldn't freeze or get really hurt. The lessons in self-reliance "build character".

Command in any military sense of the word builds character. Assuming the responsibility of PIC also builds character.
 
Diana said:
I've been pondering this lately and wondered what your thoughts are? What does the expression even mean..."building character"? How do you "build character" anyway? :dunno:
Click to expand...
I, too, don't think you "build" it as in a "construction", but I do think it builds up, as in an accretion, layer by layer.

How does that happen? By paying attention to the situation, focusing on what is mine and what is not mine in that situation, embracing responsibility for what I've done and my actions' impact on the outcome, looking for where I was right and where I was wrong in my estimations and assumptions, keeping the blame where it is due and spreading the credit around freely, and staying open for learning during the NEXT situation. More or less. :)
 
etsisk said:
Diana - this "building character" thread isn't related in any way to that "exercise music" thread, is it? :D :D :D
Click to expand...
How funny! :D Yes it kinda is. :yes:

I just got through riding my bike and I was thinking about this while riding along in my bedroom. I'm working on my book about the trip and usually do some thinking and writing while riding, and this morning was reading through some of the notes I made to myself in my journal while flying along last May. I thought about the concept of what builds character quite a bit on my trip.
 
There's good character and bad character.

Each often misidentified.

I prefer the word "integrity" over "character", you either have it or you don't. Much easier for my small mind to comprehend.
 
Diana said:
I thought about the concept of what builds character quite a bit on my trip.
Click to expand...
I think the word you may be looking for is "self-confidence" rather than "character". You already have plenty of character, Diana. :yes:
 
Hardship is an opportunity to build character. It doesn't build character, though. That's where the accretion of character mentioned above can go to work. If we're spoiled all our lives and never have any hardships, our opportunities for character building are extremely limited.

Basically, it's making lemonade out of lemons. If life hands you lemons and you whine that they're sour, you squandered your opportunity for character building.
 
Last edited:
Everskyward said:
I think the word you may be looking for is "self-confidence" rather than "character". You already have plenty of character, Diana. :yes:
Click to expand...
Thank you Mari. :)

Actually, I suffer from a chronic lack of self-confidence, but surround myself with people who tell me "You can do it!" and then I take them along with me. :D Like when you all went with me on my trip, and to the contest. :)

Funny thing...I dug out the old journal that Tom and I kept during our flight to northern Canada (attempt to get to Alaska) and I asked myself the same question back then.

It's interesting reading the responses from you all (especially Ken's :D ). Thanks for the discussion. :)
 
JohnR said:
Hardship is an opportunity to build character. It doesn't build character, though. That's where the accretion of character mentioned above can go to work. If we're spoiled all our lives and never have any hardships, our opportunities for character building are extremely limited.

Basically, it's making lemonade out of lemons. If life hands you lemons and you whine that they're sour, you squandered your opportunity for character building.
Click to expand...
This is similar to what I was thinking, but I wasn't able to put it into words as well as you did.
 
Diana said:
Actually, I suffer from a chronic lack of self-confidence, but surround myself with people who tell me "You can do it!" and then I take them along with me. :D Like when you all went with me on my trip, and to the contest. :)
Click to expand...
It's fun and interesting going along with you, Diana. :yes:

I think most people are somewhat apprehensive when trying something new. Some are able to cover it better than others with black humor, bravado and whisting in the dark. I think the way to develop self confidence is to go out and do the thing that scares you, within limits, anyway. :dunno:
 
building character - I think Tim said it best "Character = Doing the right thing when nobody but you will ever know."

Doing the right thing, taking the long road because it's morally and ethically the right road. Think of how many times we all could have taken the easy way out of completing a task and then looking back we remember the gratification of doing it right the first time.

My Father always had these off the wall sayings that I now find myself repeating. When I started out running multi-million dollar projects his first bit of advice was to "never be ashamed to sign your name for all to see on the final product" and one of the funnier ones don't let your motto be "We do it nice cause we do it twice". I still can hear his voice and see his face when he said that in my office....I still have to laugh.

He had many spins for his favorite sport, baseball. One that my brother and I ALWAYS instill in the 9-12 year olds is to play with class. It has a lot to do with building character and presenting yourself in a positive way.
Nice topic Diana, thanks for posting.
 
I think it has to do with hardships and enduring things that you never thought you could endure, especially over time. Proving that you can be completely self-sufficient without others definitely helps as well. Things that I look back upon that did it for me:

- My entrepreneurial summer doing auto transport, during which I started and ran the business completely myself, and needed no help from anyone else. I made enough money to buy myself a motorcycle by the end of the summer
- Working non-stop on weekends to earn money (or else traveling 750 miles each way to see my girlfriend) while doing all my school work during the week in college
- Driving 3500 miles over the course of 3 days, with a total of 6 hours sleep during that time period (and down on sleep before hand), including one truck catching on fire, and 2500 miles of towing a 28' enclosed trailer, packing the trailer full, unloading it, and then returning it, which included driving through tornados. When I got on the plane to fly home I was passed out within 30 seconds, and it took me about 5 minutes after waking up (the first leg was an hour on a Dash 8) to be able to move again.

Summarized I think it's doing things that prove to yourself just how much you are capable of, and also things that would generally be considered "unusual" or "different". As humans, we're capable of some pretty amazing things, but many of us don't exercise that ability. Of course, I personally have no desire to do any drives like that anymore - proving that I could was enough for me. :)
 
If you get knocked down, get up.
If you see someone get knocked down, help them up.
Shake hands after a disagreement.
Say something nice to someone who can use it.
Give up your seat on a crowded bus to someone who needs it more.
Help someone with their luggage, or hold the door for them without them having to ask.
Be happy and proud of yourself because you are who you are, not because you think you are better than someone else.
Pay a complete stranger's toll on the highway.
If someone's hungry, buy them a sandwich. Remember that there but for the grace...
Speak your mind, and encourage others to do the same, and don't get upset when they do.
If you start it, finish it.
Do what you say you'll do.
Say please and thank you, even if you don't have to.
Tip generously when it's deserved.
Tell the truth.
 
Chip Sylverne said:
If you get knocked down, get up.
If you see someone get knocked down, help them up.
Shake hands after a disagreement.
Say something nice to someone who can use it.
Give up your seat on a crowded bus to someone who needs it more.
Help someone with their luggage, or hold the door for them without them having to ask.
Be happy and proud of yourself because you are who you are, not because you think you are better than someone else.
Pay a complete stranger's toll on the highway.
If someone's hungry, buy them a sandwich. Remember that there but for the grace...
Speak your mind, and encourage others to do the same, and don't get upset when they do.
If you start it, finish it.
Do what you say you'll do.
Say please and thank you, even if you don't have to.
Tip generously when it's deserved.
Tell the truth.
Click to expand...

:yes:

All the experiences that built "character" in my life center around 4 themes:

+ Doing something that forced me to face a fear
+ Doing something that required me to be completely selfless
+ Doing something that forced me to leave my home and seek out a completely different place
+ Doing something that required all my determination to finish over some obstacle

If it fits in those four categories... it probably builds character.

Cheers,

-Andrew
 
JohnR said:
Hardship is an opportunity to build character. It doesn't build character, though. That's where the accretion of character mentioned above can go to work. If we're spoiled all our lives and never have any hardships, our opportunities for character building are extremely limited.

Basically, it's making lemonade out of lemons. If life hands you lemons and you whine that they're sour, you squandered your opportunity for character building.
Click to expand...


True, very true. I think your character is a combination of a lot of things. Your childhood, Your role models, your hardships, your training and teaching, both school and religion. Maybe boy or girl scouts. Friends, and non friends. I think the life that you have had to live, has made you the character you are and gives you character. A person tends to imitate those whom they admire. If you imitate someone with real good character traits, it will probably make you have some of those same traits. Just my $.02. I think it must be good, because people tell me all the time that I am some character. :yes: Bob
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top