Thinking about getting my wife a birthday present rant

Deelee

Deelee

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Deelee
Ok, it's not a rant. But it was cool to combine Ted's thinking about... and Sac's rant concept into one post.

I have buyer's block. What, in the name of all that is holy, am I supposed to get my wife for her bday. Besides a Bonanza, of course.

I can't stomach getting her another gift card to massage envy and every piece of jewelry I have every purchased for her (aside from her engagement ring) sits in a drawer and goes un-worn.

I am a terrible gift giver. She is a terrible gift receiver. This is not a good combination. I do have a ten year old I can proxy-gift-give through.

Best answer wins a prize to be given at the next fly-in I will not attend due to mx issues.
 
give her a preemptive apology for being out flying on her birthday instead of celebrating it with her.
 
Have “the talk”: why in the world should two rational adults have to go through the rituals every year on b-days, anniversaries, and holidays to try to assuage the collective societal guilt of gift giving? We both buy what we need or want, when we need or want it - that is good enough, we are lucky in that regard. My love for you should not be gauged by gift giving on these “special occasions”.
Good luck.
 
I'm getting Mrs. Steingar an Amazon Echo so she can listen to her music. She specifically asked for it. My favorite was when we visited a fellow who was selling his collection of African art pieces. Mrs. Steingar is really into that. I made an excuse to get over to his place and bought several pieces. Those made presents for a couple birthdays and were well-received.
 
Expensive sheets are a winner. Boll & Branch is well respected, but be sure you have a thick mattress - they make their sheets to fit 17" mattresses. A mattress thicker than 13" will probably be OK. Price will be around $300.

You can compensate yourself by going flying for a few hours.
 
For my wife, the best gifts are going to do things together. So I'll do my own gift certificate for a day at the nature preserve with picnic lunch, etc. Or a trip for the weekend. Things of that sort, where I take on the organizing a preparation.

It depends on your wife of course.
 
Ask her what she would like.??

Remember I am a rookie in marriage. Only 10 years in....
 
Reported. What's with people stealing my thread titles? :mad: ;)
 
jsstevens said:
You lost the ban hammer.
Click to expand...

I tried banning a mod earlier, someone who I voted to become a mod, and then realized:

1) I can't ban mods
2) I can't ban anyone

#banhammerfail
 
Ted said:
I tried banning a mod earlier, someone who I voted to become a mod, and then realized:

1) I can't ban mods
2) I can't ban anyone

#banhammerfail
Click to expand...

I relinquished my CTO position but not my employment in January. I feel your pain...
 
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@Ted Don't think of it as stealing thread titles... think of it as honoring great thread titles of yore.

No winners yet. @eman1200 may be closest to the pin in terms of predicting what will happen.... @bflynn the sheets idea is a good one. Our sheets are old and terrible. @Arnold bah not clicking on that one, but good call. @jsstevens Organizing a trip is a good one too... I may be doing just that - taking the kid for a few days over spring break next week to NC... leaving my wife home alone. Probably the best present of all for her. @steingar good suggestion, but anything that is part of a collection or comes out of a gallery is out of my league...
 
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Trying to do something to spend time with her is probably the best option, along with asking what she wants.

My wife is an excellent gift giver. She comes up with all sorts of things that are thoughtful, meainingful, and I always appreciate. I mostly just buy her fast cars and motorcycles and heavy equipment.
 
Take her for a flight on her birthday and fake an engine out. Make it convincing. That way she will always remember the day...
 
LIke @Deelee virtually all of the surprise gifts I buy her are fails. She pretends to like it, but I never see it again until we gather things up for a GoodWill donation run.

But, she has a favorite store in St. Petersburg, FL where they have original gifts, artwork and jewelry. I take her there occasionally and buy her (almost) anything she likes.
 
Deelee said:
Ok, it's not a rant. But it was cool to combine Ted's thinking about... and Sac's rant concept into one post.

I have buyer's block. What, in the name of all that is holy, am I supposed to get my wife for her bday. Besides a Bonanza, of course.

I can't stomach getting her another gift card to massage envy and every piece of jewelry I have every purchased for her (aside from her engagement ring) sits in a drawer and goes un-worn.

I am a terrible gift giver. She is a terrible gift receiver. This is not a good combination. I do have a ten year old I can proxy-gift-give through.

Best answer wins a prize to be given at the next fly-in I will not attend due to mx issues.
Click to expand...


Are there chores that she does but doesn't relish doing? do some of them for her (extra points for picking chores that you hate to do)... at least for a while. Of course, that won't work if you won't do them" correctly".

Does she like foot rubs? don't hire someone to do that, you do it. Extra points if you hate giving foot massages...

edit: and good luck
 
wrbix said:
Have “the talk”: why in the world should two rational adults have to go through the rituals every year on b-days, anniversaries, and holidays to try to assuage the collective societal guilt of gift giving? We both buy what we need or want, when we need or want it - that is good enough, we are lucky in that regard. My love for you should not be gauged by gift giving on these “special occasions”.
Good luck.
Click to expand...

This. Married 26+ years
 
+1 on the Boll and Branch

Or if you're feeling a little more ambitious, arrange a formal picture taken of you two at a place with some meaning.
 
I'll second everyone who mentioned an experience rather than a physical item. What is she interested in? I'm not sure where you are, but how about a private guided tour of a winery, national park, museum, or something like that? You could even combine it with flying by picking somewhere you have to fly to. There are sites that have local tour guides you can hire for almost any different activity (toursbylocals.com or others).
 
If you do boll and branch google discount codes. I think rush limbaugh had coupon code prior to his death. Since he did advertising for them
 
Well, I actually learned something from this thread.

Rush Limbaugh died.
 
wrbix said:
Have “the talk”: why in the world should two rational adults have to go through the rituals every year on b-days, anniversaries, and holidays to try to assuage the collective societal guilt of gift giving? We both buy what we need or want, when we need or want it - that is good enough, we are lucky in that regard. My love for you should not be gauged by gift giving on these “special occasions”.
Good luck.
Click to expand...

I also learned something from this thread. ^^^ I didn't realize PoA had members from another planet with different rules.

I tried something like this. My wife always wanted to live with her horses. So years ago I bought her a large, nice piece of property and promised to build her a house on it (which I did). Told her this was going to represent all future birthday, anniversary and Christmas gifts, "forever". Seemed like a fair deal...until the next birthday, which I apparently was guilty of "forgetting".

More seriously, send the children to the grandparents or something, get out the nice china, a tablecloth, candles and a bottle of Piper-Heidsieck. Cook up something nice in the kitchen giving her a day off from making dinner. It'll make up for it after you do what @eman1200 suggested.
 
GRG55 said:
I also learned something from this thread. ^^^ I didn't realize PoA had members from another planet.

I tried something like this. My wife always wanted to live with her horses. So years ago I bought her a large, nice piece of property and promised to build her a house on it (which I did). Told her this was going to represent all future birthday, anniversary and Christmas gifts, "forever". Seemed like a fair deal...until the next birthday, which I apparently was guilty of "forgetting".

More seriously, send the children to the grandparents or something, get out the nice china, a tablecloth, candles and a bottle of Piper-Heidsieck. Cook up something nice in the kitchen giving her a day off from making dinner. It'll make up for it after you do what @eman1200 suggested.
Click to expand...
And clean up the kitchen afterwards!
 
eman1200 said:
did I win?
Click to expand...

Getting closer to winning... your scenario may become a reality...

But, in the spirit of equity and fairness and "everybody gets a trophy"... everyone will be getting a prize. These prizes will be distributed at the next PoA fly-in that I will not attend due to [choose one].... mx issues, kid activities, work, too far away, other stuff going on...

The suggestions regarding experiences rather than gifts and the food-related ones are leading, too. We may be doing a family dinner out and a movie (yes an actual movie in a theater..... ). It has been over a year since we have done that.
 
Deelee said:
...But, in the spirit of equity and fairness and "everybody gets a trophy"... everyone will be getting a prize. These prizes will be distributed at the next PoA fly-in that I will not attend due to [choose one].... mx issues, kid activities, work, too far away, other stuff going on...
Click to expand...

...like my wife's birthday...
 
Deelee said:
...I have buyer's block. What, in the name of all that is holy, am I supposed to get my wife for her bday. Besides a Bonanza, of course...
Click to expand...

btw the His 'n Hers Bonanzas is a great idea. I've always maintained that separate airplanes is the best way to preserve a marriage (although @Mtns2Skies is apparently still unconvinced :D ).

And this variation of a "Twin Bonanza" has the advantage of avoiding family arguments about which is better, high wing or low wing. ;)
 
One Christmas I gave my wife a coloring book that I made specially for her.

It wasn't until the last page that she figured out what the hell was going on... that was the page with the reservation confirmation for the cruise. :) Admittedly, it was just as much a gift for me, but it still worked.
 
Ask her what she'd like. or,
Ask her where she'd like to go to get away for a day or a weekend. or,
Ask her what chores around the house it would make her happy for you to do. or,
Ask her if she'd prefer to be surprised, or to forego the whole gift-giving thing entirely.

(There's a theme here. I'm a fan of open communication between married adults.)
 
kath said:
Ask her what she'd like. or,
Ask her where she'd like to go to get away for a day or a weekend. or,
Ask her what chores around the house it would make her happy for you to do. or,
Ask her if she'd prefer to be surprised, or to forego the whole gift-giving thing entirely.

(There's a theme here. I'm a fan of open communication between married adults.)
Click to expand...
Excellent advice, which took me a long time to realize. I used to think she would like surprises. :rofl::rofl::rofl::ohsnap:
 
Ask her if she would like to go someplace expensive for dinner.

Do not take her to the airport lunch counter.....
 
My wife and I decided years ago not to do big holiday/birthday gifts. Instead we try to plan a fun trip somewhere or a nice dinner out. It beats going out to buy some trinket the other person may not want or need.

I feel like as an adult that's what gifting becomes. Either that or waiting a month or two on some big ticket item you were buying anyway and calling it a birthday/Christmas present. If I see something I think my wife needs or would really like I'm just going to buy and give it to her now rather than wait until a holiday comes around. Works for us anyway.
 
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