The Perfect Pilot?

H

HarleyRider12

Guest
I have my Commercial certificate. I’m a 300 hour pilot SEL, MEL with instrument. My past instructors call me a good stick, but sometimes I wonder. I may fly well but I am so hard on myself when I make errors. As I reflect on the day I get so angry knowing that I can do better! I’m not making mistakes that would hurt myself, passengers, my club airplane and thankfully I’ve never been issued a number to call.

Some examples are asking for IFR clearance on the wrong frequency, getting young twisted on the air sounding like a buffoon, failure to put gear up wondering why I’m not climbing, failure to query ATC sooner, ETC. Many just might shrug their shoulders or laugh but it really bothers me and I have the most difficult time shaking it off. We typically have great flights but there is that dark cloud over my head and it really dampens my mood.

I know this sounds like a troll post but I don’t know how to overcome being so hard on myself.
 
It's good that you're so fiercely self critical. That will both make you a better pilot and keep you safe.

However, there's a balance with also accepting that you're not perfect and will make mistakes. When the mistake happens, you have to accept that you made it, fix it on the spot, and not think about it again until you land. The continuing to dwell on it is a distraction that can lead to more mistakes. It doesn't matter how the mistake affects your mood for the flight, but you absolutely cannot allow it to distract you and compound into more mistakes.

I think if you can compartmentalize you'll enjoy the flight more. The time to beat yourself up over minor mistakes is after you've landed and the flight is over. So you're not wrong to not "just laugh it off". But you are wrong in your timing of self analysis.
 
300 hours is still pretty early in a flying "career" (whether professional or recreational). None of those mistakes should be blown off as unimportant, but none should probably indicate you're not capable of being a good pilot, either.

How do you deal with mistakes in the rest of your life? To be human is to be imperfect. Somehow, we all have to live with our mistakes (except for the fatal ones!). Healthy people learn from them and don't make them again (or at least far less frequently).
 
HarleyRider12 said:
I have my Commercial certificate. I’m a 300 hour pilot SEL, MEL with instrument. My past instructors call me a good stick, but sometimes I wonder. I may fly well but I am so hard on myself when I make errors. As I reflect on the day I get so angry knowing that I can do better! I’m not making mistakes that would hurt myself, passengers, my club airplane and thankfully I’ve never been issued a number to call.

Some examples are asking for IFR clearance on the wrong frequency, getting young twisted on the air sounding like a buffoon, failure to put gear up wondering why I’m not climbing, failure to query ATC sooner, ETC. Many just might shrug their shoulders or laugh but it really bothers me and I have the most difficult time shaking it off. We typically have great flights but there is that dark cloud over my head and it really dampens my mood.

I know this sounds like a troll post but I don’t know how to overcome being so hard on myself.
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I’m commercial SEL, MEL, IFR, a bunch of other stuff with about triple your flight time. This morning I submitted my IFR flight plan for 8:00pm instead of 8:00am and had to spend a few extra minutes on the RCO trying to sort out my clearance. I’m yet to have a perfect flight, but still trying. Striving for perfection and being critical of your mistakes contributes to safety. Dwelling on it or being overly self critical does not.
 
That’s a good attitude to have. You should hold yourself to high standard and take mistakes seriously. Believe me, I’ve seen a lot of pilots professionally that have no attention to detail and just dismiss mistakes as human nature. In my job I strive for perfection and when I don’t get it, it ticks me off. I’m a harsh critique during debrief and I always find something to improve upon.

Keep up that attitude. It’s refreshing to hear and won’t go unnoticed in future employment.
 
It sounds to me like you may be a little too critical on your performance. I don't know any pilot that has had the "perfect flight". There is always room for improvement. Keep using checklists, that will keep you out of trouble and catch things like the landing gear. And if you miss an item, so what? The checklist caught it and that's what it's for. As far as sounding like a buffoon, don't sweat it, even seasoned airline pilots can do that at times. Usually it's the result of hearing something unexpected and trying to process it while responding. Just take a moment to process before responding. Experience, there is no substitute. You will get there.

Blue Skies!
 
More than 10x x 300 and guess what. I still sometimes push the button too early (it's UNcommon), but most of the other items have been extirpated by the use of LISTS.

Yup I can still s_rew the pooch. :(. We're all only as good as our last flight.
 
This am I read back what I wanted to hear vice what tower really read me. We got it straight but I felt badly that I had fallen into that trap. I have almost 3K hours mil/civ and I can count on 1 hand the flights I have walked away from thinking "yea, that was pretty damn good".

Ever learning is my motto.
 
I’m closer to 20,000, and still eff up every day.
It all depends on what you eff up on. In the airlines, SOP’s along with a second pilot generally catch the big stuff.

Trust me, you will be fine.
 
HarleyRider12 said:
...Many just might shrug their shoulders or laugh but it really bothers me and I have the most difficult time shaking it off. We typically have great flights but there is that dark cloud over my head and it really dampens my mood.

I know this sounds like a troll post but I don’t know how to overcome being so hard on myself.
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Schokie said:
It's good that you're so fiercely self critical. That will both make you a better pilot and keep you safe...
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^^^ This is good advice, but only to a point.

As with most things human it's best to apply in moderation. Taken to an extreme something beneficial can become extraordinarily harmful.

To the OP I would ask, are you an obsessive-compulsive in other aspects of your life, or just the flying?

As others have posted, recognizing and understanding your errors when flying and working diligently to correct them is very constructive. It's one of the markers of a good pilot. Undermining your own self confidence and assuming you are a poor pilot because you are not "perfect" on every flight is not. Recognize the difference and you'll be fine. You should derive some enjoyment from each flight...even the ones in tough conditions which you have overcome to make a safe and successful transit should give you a sense of accomplishment.

If you aren't experiencing any enjoyment or feeling of accomplishment then something needs to change. And soon.
 
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OP, I struggle with this as well, though maybe it makes more sense since I have nowhere near your level of experience. I knew, from previous experience, I would be extremely self-critical of myself as a pilot before I even started lessons, and I was right. What I had to do is apply a trick I learned as a musician - file away that mistake so you can take it out later, after you're done performing/when debriefing, and then forget it for the rest of the performance/flight. If you focus on that silly mistake, you just might get distracted enough thinking about it to actually make a bad mistake. There's nothing wrong with being a little upset about even minor mistakes, as long as you can move past them, and not let them steal the joy from flying. Nobody is perfect! Maybe you could even use the mistakes as ways to hone your flying - forgot the gear? Focus on checklist use for the next couple of flights. Jumbled up the radio calls? Practice those every time you're in the car or doing the dishes. That way, you can channel that anger productively AND end up closer to that perfect pilot we all would like to be. :D
 
HarleyRider12 said:
...Some examples are asking for IFR clearance on the wrong frequency, getting young twisted on the air sounding like a buffoon, failure to put gear up wondering why I’m not climbing, failure to query ATC sooner, ETC...
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Making a mistake and learning from it is ok. Some of these things can be alleviated through the use of flows and checklists, but I’m curious if you generally fly the same airframe or are jumping between several wildly different airframes. There may he a root cause that you’re not really finding to implement a ‘Next time I will...’ change to your flow/checklist.
 
I will tell you this - there is not a single pilot out there that hits the nail on the head perfectly every time. Despite some having thousands of hours and others having just a few, we’re all susceptible to the same mistakes. Holding yourself to a high standard is excellent, but just make sure that it’s realistic.

The perfect pilot? Nope, doesn’t exist.
 
Easier said than done, but like Ted Lasso says, "Be a goldfish!"

To those not familiar to the show, it's a saying that comes from the idea that a goldfish has essentially no memory at all. It's admirable to recognize your failings as a pilot (we *all* have them!) and work to fix them, but at the same time when you're up there flying an airplane it's important to not let your prior mistakes step all over what you're attempting to do in that moment.

From your post I don't necessarily know that's happening in your case, but the idea has always been something that's helped me in my career, whether in the airplane or the simulator. Be a goldfish!
 
The best mistakes are the ones you tell all your pilot friends while drinking beer and hangar flying when the weather is crud. Early on I did a "first notch of flaps" take off in my Cherokee 160. Forgot to retract them and didn't recognize it until a couple of hours later when I went to extend the flaps in preparation to land. Well, let me tell ya, the "forgot to retract the f***'n flaps" stories were going fast and furious after that start. One friend told me he forgot to do that years before on the initial climb out for his PPL test in a Piper T-hawk. The examiner dropped a subtle and helpful hint when he noted out loud the airplane seemed to be climbing rather slowly. He passed.
 
This has been very helpful, I appreciate all the excellent comments. I’m relieved that slips and mistakes are common. We all strive to be the perfect pilot, I try to let it roll but sometimes it’s difficult.
 
When I see someone start to obsess over a mistake, I let’em run with it. Doesn’t take long to figure out that ain’t a great way to improve!

Observe, learn, adjust personal criteria... press on. In other words, engage ego as necessary.

Beat yourself up with buds as mentioned. Exaggerate if necessary...

As for me, I’m the PERFECT student. Want to see an instructor get a workout? Assign them to me. I make ALL the classic mistakes and throw in a few original ones for flavor! It’s just how I roll.

Tools
 
To the OP, there’s a difference between obsessing over a mistake and taking a mistake seriously and wanting to correct it in the future. You shouldn’t obsess unless you honestly believe you have some sort of ADD / dementia problem. Doesn’t sound like you do.

Ever seen the Blue Angels debrief? They bring up the slightest error during the flight. They call it a “safety” and finish with “I’ll correct that in the future.” That’s not obsessing, that’s simply addressing an error and not just overlooking it as no big deal. Personally, I think every pilot should approach flying that way.

Once you start flying professionally (for hire), you’ll get indoctrinated into safety culture. Safety culture is about acceptance of a mistake but also take ownership of that mistake. That’s what “just culture” is all about. But, what it isn’t, is freely make mistakes and that’s alright because I’m human and humans make mistakes. It’s also not, I’m going to deviate from policy (checklist) and if I make a mistake, oh well. That’s goes into the hazardous behavior and I can’t tell you the number of safety reports that I get that fit into that category.

My personal view is, errors are about 1) the gravity of the error and 2) is the same type of error being made over and over. If you’re making errors that could result in an accident and you’re frequently making them, then that’s a problem. If you’re making minor errors and they’re not related, note it, say you’ll work on that in the future and move on.

Here’s another thing when it comes to errors. Right now you’re not dealing with 3rd party errors too much because you’re not flying for hire. I can’t tell you the number of times, those working around me have made mistakes that affect my safety. I’ve always said, whether it be flying military or my current job (EMS), everyone supporting me is a threat to my safety. At the very least, a threat to the efficiency of that flight. That’s not paranoid, that’s reality. So your approach to holding yourself accountable is good. Because in the future, you’ll not only have to have attention to detail in what you do, you’ll have to make up for the support people around who may lack attention to detail. Believe me, they’re out there.
 
HarleyRider12 said:
I have my Commercial certificate. I’m a 300 hour pilot SEL, MEL with instrument. My past instructors call me a good stick, but sometimes I wonder. I may fly well but I am so hard on myself when I make errors. As I reflect on the day I get so angry knowing that I can do better! I’m not making mistakes that would hurt myself, passengers, my club airplane and thankfully I’ve never been issued a number to call.

Some examples are asking for IFR clearance on the wrong frequency, getting young twisted on the air sounding like a buffoon, failure to put gear up wondering why I’m not climbing, failure to query ATC sooner, ETC. Many just might shrug their shoulders or laugh but it really bothers me and I have the most difficult time shaking it off. We typically have great flights but there is that dark cloud over my head and it really dampens my mood.

I know this sounds like a troll post but I don’t know how to overcome being so hard on myself.
Click to expand...

I'm very similar - I hold my flying to a very high standard and then am extremely critical when I don't meet it. Are there negatives to that? Sure, sometimes I feel bad about a flight that probably wasn't that bad and I tend to hold back until I really know something. For example, I don't want to take the IFR written just because I met the minimum threshold the instructor wants to see, I want to be much better.

Are there positives - sure, I get similar compliments about how well I fly. I try to be smooth and stay on the ball, stay on airspeed...of course some days that's easier than other just because of conditions. I'm not especially thrilled that I have problems hand flying a straight course/on altitude right now, but I also know it's because of lack of practice and lack of consistently flying the same airplane...and reliance on the GPS.

I will get better again...not right now, but when I get back to flying.
 
Wanting to improve is a good thing. Whether it be flying, golf, or whatever - I think we learn quicker and better if we enjoy the experience more vs beating ourselves up. Sometimes a Marine drill sergeant approach is warranted - but probably not in this case.
 
Somewhere I heard of a retired airline pilot with 30,000 hours. In his logbook, he kept a record of the mistakes he made on each flight.

He NEVER had a perfect flight!!
 
Perfect pilots are the ones that scare me. They never do anything wrong. For example which student would I rather the solo...
A. Don’t think I have ever seen him do a really good landing, but can recover from the bad ones better than I can (Actual quote from an instructor that just soloed a student)
B. Every landing he does is near perfect, I don’t know what he will do if he balloons one. (Had an IFR student fail a check ride over this, shot the NDB approach perfect every time I flew with him and then on the check ride did the procedure turn on the non-protected side)

At nearly 8000 hours I still make mistakes and am still learning.
The real perfect pilot is the one that is getting better every flight. So you left the gear down on the climb out wondering why it isn’t climbing right. Next time you forget, or for some other reason the gear doesn’t retract you will recognize the issue a lot sooner. This is experience and why experienced pilots are in such high demand. It is also why any employer requires a pilot to have a certain amount of experience, so that you have experienced enough mistakes to recognize them when they are happening and fix them.


Brian
CFIIG/ASEL
 
Isn't there a sort-of trick question out there like "When was the last time you violated an FAR?" (the answer: "the last time you flew" !)
 
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