The mutha of all burgers

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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So I had this inspiration right. I wanted a burger for dinner. But I didn't want to drive all the way to Carl's or Habit to get some burgers and bring them back. So why not make one right. So I went to the store to get a burger. Or makings thereof.

I stared at this package of burger. 1.13 lbs. I could make two half pounders, or a full-on one pounder. Logistically, I'd need a head of lettuce if I chose to do a lettuce wrap, but then, I'd be stuck with the rest of the head of lettuce unless it got used for something else later. So why not just eat it with cole slaw?

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Mustard cole slaw. Like that cole slaw I got at the BBQ place in San Francisco that one time when I BBQ'd with @Everskyward. Yes, mustard cole slaw.

On to the burger.

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Here's the thing. I realized that I screwed up at the store. I thought I had an onion, but I didn't. I didn't want to go back to the store and get an onion. But, there was some dried onion flakes available. And some 'Montreal Steak' seasoning. Sounds good. Really, the burger changed form very little from how it sat in the package. Funny thing is, the 10% lean stuff was a full dollar per pound less expensive than the 20% stuff. Bizarre.

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The thing about 10% lean is that it has very little fat in it, so it doesn't BBQ well, plus I'm not firing up the BBQ for just one burger. That is a waste of charcoal. So it's back to pan frying. With olive oil.

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Oh yeah, it needs to be a cheeseburger. Monterey, Jack. The burger was so thick I couldn't put all of it on the top and still replace the cover to melt it.

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Here we go. And even some caramelized onions on top to boot. What a nice touch.

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And the finished product, with cole slaw. It was pretty good.

But, the cost comparison. Admittedly, the ground beef wasn't exactly a smoking deal at $4.99 a pound, but the total package, with the $1.99 cole slaw mix plus an estimated $1 worth of cheese, was eight bucks and some change. Challenge? Would two half-pound 'Thickburgers' at Carl's come in at that price? No. They would come in more like fourteen bucks. There is a reason Carl's doesn't call it the 'Six Dollar Burger" anymore. They used to call it a 'Six Dollar Burger' when it cost $3.99 and competed with a $6 restaurant burger. Now it is even more expensive than $6.
 
I rape it an 8.5. Lack of bacon and incorporation of cole slaw is all I can see holding it back from a 10. That looks amazing. Nice presentation as well.
 
I rape it an 8.5. Lack of bacon and incorporation of cole slaw is all I can see holding it back from a 10. That looks amazing. Nice presentation as well.

Okay, get the lack of bacon. I just didn't happen to have any bacon handy, plus cooking it makes a terrible mess so I don't cook it often even when it is on hand. Now, the whole cole slaw thing, it -is- my trademark, you know. But I'll take an 8.5.
 
Now, the whole cole slaw thing, it -is- my trademark, you know.

I know, I just can't get into the stuff. Maybe I've just never had "good" cole slaw. I've never tried it with mustard... that looked interesting.
 
Okay, get the lack of bacon. I just didn't happen to have any bacon handy, plus cooking it makes a terrible mess so I don't cook it often even when it is on hand. Now, the whole cole slaw thing, it -is- my trademark, you know. But I'll take an 8.5.

We started cooking bacon in the oven. If you line a cookie sheet with foil, then bake at 375 or so (turning once) it will crisp up nicely without burning or mess. When you're done, pour off the rendered bacon dripping and discard (or use for something else like a dressing) and toss the foil.
 
Pretty sure they didn't use French's yellow mustard at that BBQ place...
 
We started cooking bacon in the oven. If you line a cookie sheet with foil, then bake at 375 or so (turning once) it will crisp up nicely without burning or mess. When you're done, pour off the rendered bacon dripping and discard (or use for something else like a dressing) and toss the foil.

That's a good idea. I might just try that the next time.

Once in a while I'll mix some Worcestershire sauce into the meat. Or blue cheese.

I thought about that, but, alas, no Worcestershire sauce. I had soy sauce, but that doesn't quite get it.

Pretty sure they didn't use French's yellow mustard at that BBQ place...

It came out surprisingly well. It's not the first time I've done it.
 
@Sac Arrow = Chuck Norris needs no hamburger:

Along with the patty melt, the BLT has become one of the most popular things on the menu, thanks to the half-pound of Boar’s Head bacon that has earned the sandwich its nickname, “The Chuck Norris B.L.T” ($8.99). The bacon was crisp and smoky, the toasted wheat bread was nicely crunchy, and if the meat overpowered the lettuce, tomato and mayo a little bit, it was hard to complain.

This is at the Beacon Cafe at Hicks Airfield (T67) http://www.thebeaconcafe.com/ <- should call it the bacon cafe
 
how are u eating this 'burger'?
 
@Sac Arrow = Chuck Norris needs no hamburger:

Along with the patty melt, the BLT has become one of the most popular things on the menu, thanks to the half-pound of Boar’s Head bacon that has earned the sandwich its nickname, “The Chuck Norris B.L.T” ($8.99). The bacon was crisp and smoky, the toasted wheat bread was nicely crunchy, and if the meat overpowered the lettuce, tomato and mayo a little bit, it was hard to complain.

This is at the Beacon Cafe at Hicks Airfield (T67) http://www.thebeaconcafe.com/ <- should call it the bacon cafe

Plain BLT's don't really work well for me, as in my case the are just bacon and tomato between lettuce.

how are u eating this 'burger'?

Knife and fork. If I had lettuce I would have wrapped it in such. Along with mustard and mayo.

Damn, that's what was missing.
 
burger......with a knife and a fork. just when u thought u knew somebody. I am officially "tapping out" of this thread.
 
burger......with a knife and a fork. just when u thought u knew somebody. I am officially "tapping out" of this thread.

Hey man, I mean Eman, that's normally how I eat a Whopper or a McD's Quarter Pounder, sans buns...
 
I mean I have to pull a fork out anyway for the cole slaw, right?
 
This is exactly the kind of over-analyzing a simple meal I put myself through all the time.

"I thought I had an onion but I don't but I don't want to go back to the store for an onion." I don't know how many times I have lived that exact scene.
 
I had to go to Yelp to find a picture of that thing. Four pounds is over the top, even for me. I probably could finish it, though.

Sac,

You're a better man than I. I would have to quit after the first pound if I even made it that far.

Go for it with gusto Big Guy. ;)
 
Two pounds would not be unreasonable for me. I wouldn't get much beyond that through.

There was a local chain of restaurants called the Peppermill, owned by the Peppermill casino in Reno, that had a one pound bacon cheeseburger they called the "Terminator." If you ate the whole thing, plus the fries, you got a free dessert.

It was pretty much like the above, with bacon on it plus the lettuce and tomato and all. Back when I would still eat buns and fries, and had no problem pounding them down.
 
We started cooking bacon in the oven. If you line a cookie sheet with foil, then bake at 375 or so (turning once) it will crisp up nicely without burning or mess. When you're done, pour off the rendered bacon dripping and discard (or use for something else like a dressing) and toss the foil.

An alternative if you don't have the time to fully bake is to microwave it just enough so most of the fat renders out. Then you can quickly finish in a pan at a lower temp or the oven to get the crisp without the sizzling fat going everywhere or the bacon burning.

I used this method for some bacon last night, but finished it up on a charcoal grill I fired up for a pork tenderloin. Do not try putting fresh bacon on the grill or you will end up the the mother of all grease fires :eek:
 
We started cooking bacon in the oven. If you line a cookie sheet with foil, then bake at 375 or so (turning once) it will crisp up nicely without burning or mess. When you're done, pour off the rendered bacon dripping and discard (or use for something else like a dressing) and toss the foil.

Just don't use your wife's best cookie sheet that she uses to, you know, bake cookies, and get it all caked up with burnt bacon grease.

And yes that stuff seeps through the foil.
 
Sac,

There was a day I could handle almost anything for breakfast. My wife got rattled when I asked for a full plate of spaghetti before going to work. Can't handle that any more. Getting older.
 
It looks good, but man, you gots to be careful to cook hamburg enough, that looks rare. It can be a matter of life or death.
 
It looks good, but man, you gots to be careful to cook hamburg enough, that looks rare. It can be a matter of life or death.

I hear what you're saying, but I'm pretty immune to that stuff. I usually go with medium on less lean ground beef for no other reason than to cook more of the fat out.
 
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