The Guy Code

kimberlyanne546 said:
OMG you are the reason I haven't been to the gym in months. Even late at night guys would take the god damned treadmill next to me when all the machines were empty. Gross. I don't go there to have guys choose machines behind / in front of / next to me and then spin around pretending to have reasons to look BEHIND THEM EVERY THIRTY SECONDS while running.
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I think gyms are an overrated waste of money anyway. Everything you can do there you can do better outside. I wouldn't want to be on a treadmill when theres San Fran as a backdrop, not to mention, those hills can be much more challenging. I've taken a strong liking to running on the beach and when I have an overnight somewhere and time only permits a jaunt in the hotel gym, I get bored on the treadmill in about five minutes. And Bodyweight exercises beat the hell out of weights and machines. Just my preference and opinion.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Lady, you have no idea.
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:yikes:

Sac, you are hilarious. I love reading your posts.

And the puppy idea-- to get hot chicks? (Cracks me up that I just wrote hot chicks). It'll works every time. Bring it to the gym and say, "I couldn't leave him at home.. he gets lonely...." You'll have a line of "hot chicks" waiting to go to your house to puppysit. :yesnod:
 
Danos said:
I think gyms are an overrated waste of money anyway. Everything you can do there you can do better outside. I wouldn't want to be on a treadmill when theres San Fran as a backdrop, not to mention, those hills can be much more challenging. I've taken a strong liking to running on the beach and when I have an overnight somewhere and time only permits a jaunt in the hotel gym, I get bored on the treadmill in about five minutes. And Bodyweight exercises beat the hell out of weights and machines. Just my preference and opinion.
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:yeahthat::yesnod:
 
Tracey said:
:yikes:

Sac, you are hilarious. I love reading your posts.

And the puppy idea-- to get hot chicks? (Cracks me up that I just wrote hot chicks). It'll works every time. Bring it to the gym and say, "I couldn't leave him at home.. he gets lonely...." You'll have a line of "hot chicks" waiting to go to your house to puppysit. :yesnod:
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Ahem. And WHO had the puppy idea?
 
Get a real job. Then you won't need to go to the gym. You'll be healthy, and fit.
 
Anthony said:
I think the OP posts "tongue in cheek". I think the OP is funny as heck.

Maybe some self examination is in order for you? :)
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Read post #3 and tell me with a straight face this guy is kidding. :nono:

Sac Arrow said:
Okay look, here's the thing:

1. I don't actually go to the gym to pick up chicks. I go to the gym to maintain weight and physical shape, and I have more ulterior motives to do so than the one I already stated. I do this two hours a day, seven days a week. If I skip one day, I feel really irritatable and restless, and people don't want to be around me. Or maybe I should phrase it they want even less to be around me. I go in the morning because that is when it is uncrowded and I can get a good workout. The actual pickup time is in the evenings. That's when the gym becomes a meat market. I don't need that.

2. If I'm THERE and there happen to be HOT WOMEN there, why wouldn't I want to look at them and perhaps engage them in conversation? I hate wasting good resources. If they aren't then NBFD. If they are there, then high testosterone levels and an overdeveloped sense of primal instinct takes over. Your poor OP lives in pain. Please understand and have compassion for your poor OP.

3. Men are always on point, to varying degrees. In any given social and/or professional situation, we will always, at least subconsciously, assess how best to get with the attractive females that we may encounter, and then intensely visualize what might occur after we got with them. "Oh my god, I feel violated just standing next to him!" Lady, you have no idea.
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Does the term sexual preditor mean anything to you?
 
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Geico266 said:
Does the term sexual preditor mean anything to you?
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Good grief! :rolleyes:

I'm gonna take Sac's word that most guys are thinking such thoughts ... at least it backs up my experiences and what I've heard from many of the guys I know. But NEVER have I considered that this (seemingly omnipresent) male trait was akin to sexual predatoriness (yeah, I made that up cuz I'm too lazy to find a better word). It's just guys being guys. Sexual predators are a whole 'nuther story.

(That said, like Kimberly, I don't go to the gym or anywhere else to be ogled; it's just something that happens. Sometimes even to me.)
 
Tracey said:
:yikes:

Sac, you are hilarious. I love reading your posts.

And the puppy idea-- to get hot chicks? (Cracks me up that I just wrote hot chicks). It'll works every time. Bring it to the gym and say, "I couldn't leave him at home.. he gets lonely...." You'll have a line of "hot chicks" waiting to go to your house to puppysit. :yesnod:
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I tried the puppy thing. Mine were defective. They only attracted married women and jailbait.

Grew up to be a damn good dog though.
 
Geico266 said:
Don't encourage him Tracey, most of the women he dated were dogs anyway. :eek: Ba da dunk. Goodnight every body! ;)


Sorry Anthony, too much coffee this am. :D
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First of all NO women are dogs, and second beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And third, the cost savings in just having to provide kibble, a walk, and a pat on the head is huge! :D
 
Anthony said:
First of all NO women are dogs, and second beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And third, the cost savings in just having to provide kibble, a walk, and a pat on the head is huge! :D
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You took your dates out for a walk and a bowl of kibbles, and then patted tthem on the head? Man, are you a cheap date! :rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
JoeSelch said:
(That said, like Kimberly, I don't go to the gym or anywhere else to be ogled; it's just something that happens. Sometimes even to me.)
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I suspect more often than sometimes. Far more often.

Those who notice who is nearby when working out aren't working out.
 
Geico266 said:
Read post #3 and tell me with a straight face this guy is kidding. :nono:



Does the term sexual preditor mean anything to you?
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Damn dude! That's a tad harsh! I can't honestly say anyone has ever classified me as such.

steingar said:
Those who notice who is nearby when working out aren't working out.
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I would have to differ on that. I'm always aware of my surroundings, regardless of the occasion or setting. If I sit down at a restaurant table and you put a blindfold over my eyes, I could normally tell you with a fair degree of accuracy what is the makeup of the people in the room. Call it paranoia if you want, but it's a skill set I developed in the military.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I would have to differ on that. I'm always aware of my surroundings, regardless of the occasion or setting. If I sit down at a restaurant table and you put a blindfold over my eyes, I could normally tell you with a fair degree of accuracy what is the makeup of the people in the room. Call it paranoia if you want, but it's a skill set I developed in the military.
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I repeat, if you are aware to that degree of who is around, you are not focused on the task at hand, which is working out. Don't feel bad, very few gym attendees know even the first thing about physical fitness in my experience. I myself miss lifting quite a bit. Pity it doesn't fit my situation, wish it did.
 
Anthony said:
I think the OP posts "tongue in cheek". I think the OP is funny as heck.

Maybe some self examination is in order for you? :)
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Agreed, the old wine thread (was it drinking with cheez its?) comes to mind.

Oh and of course the gross shower guy thread.
 
steingar said:
I repeat, if you are aware to that degree of who is around, you are not focused on the task at hand, which is working out. Don't feel bad, very few gym attendees know even the first thing about physical fitness in my experience. I myself miss lifting quite a bit. Pity it doesn't fit my situation, wish it did.
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I'm with Sac Arrow on this one. I always thought I was pretty keen, but by the time I left the army, I could multi-task very easily without losing focus.
 
Tracey said:
:yikes:

Sac, you are hilarious. I love reading your posts.

And the puppy idea-- to get hot chicks? (Cracks me up that I just wrote hot chicks). It'll works every time. Bring it to the gym and say, "I couldn't leave him at home.. he gets lonely...." You'll have a line of "hot chicks" waiting to go to your house to puppysit. :yesnod:
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Want to come over and watch my puppy?
silence_lambs_06.jpg

I keep it in the well under my house.
 
Now I understand what the business model of womens only gyms is based on.
 
While skimming through some of these replies, Payboy magazine comes to mind. "I only read it for the articles" was at one time a popular defense when being caught with one.

Gyms are not necessary for exercise. They harbor germs, you have to wait in lines at the popular ones. There is a second floor gym near my neighborhood that has an escalator leading up one flight to its front door, to give you an idea about how getting fit ranks in importance.

They have gained popularity primarily because they are a great place to meet others and to show off your bod. They take the place of the beach in winter.

I can not understand why anyone who frequents such places would be offended at others checking them out, or even making their timid overtures about hooking up.
That is really what these new public gyms are all about.

Don't get caught reading playboy, you'll have to lie about that too.

-John
 
weilke said:
Now I understand what the business model of womens only gyms is based on.
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I think it would be more for women that don't want men to see them in their workout clothes in their present physical condition.
 
So Mr. Guy on the right is on strike number two. I enter the gym, and place my towel on an exercise machine to reserve it while I throw my gym bag in the locker. It wasn't the last one left, four out of six were occupied. I just wanted to make sure there was at least one left. It's common practice and I think it's reasonable as long as you're only gone no more than five minutes.

I wasn't gone more than maybe two or three minutes, and MF had the gall to remove my towel from the machine, and take it!! I was staring at the machine trying to locate my towel, and he says "oh, I put it on the the stairclimber over there."

"Thanks" (in the you're a total ******** tone of voice) I reply.

"No problem."

What the hell. An "I didn't realize this machine was occupied" even without the sorry would have gone a long way. But it wasn't actually the machine I wanted anyway - the chick occupying my preferred machine was off it anyway (there were now three open machines at this point) so I retrieved my towel and took the machine.

I mean I wasn't put out by the whole thing (and by the way neither was he by my towel being on the machine) but the lack even the smallest amount of courtesy was disturbing.

This man would probably try to SHARE a urinal in a crowded restroom!
 
Sac Arrow said:
So Mr. Guy on the right is on strike number two. I enter the gym, and place my towel on an exercise machine to reserve it while I throw my gym bag in the locker. It wasn't the last one left, four out of six were occupied. I just wanted to make sure there was at least one left. It's common practice and I think it's reasonable as long as you're only gone no more than five minutes.

I wasn't gone more than maybe two or three minutes, and MF had the gall to remove my towel from the machine, and take it!! I was staring at the machine trying to locate my towel, and he says "oh, I put it on the the stairclimber over there."

"Thanks" (in the you're a total ******** tone of voice) I reply.

"No problem."

What the hell. An "I didn't realize this machine was occupied" even without the sorry would have gone a long way. But it wasn't actually the machine I wanted anyway - the chick occupying my preferred machine was off it anyway (there were now three open machines at this point) so I retrieved my towel and took the machine.

I mean I wasn't put out by the whole thing (and by the way neither was he by my towel being on the machine) but the lack even the smallest amount of courtesy was disturbing.

This man would probably try to SHARE a urinal in a crowded restroom!
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Wow, I just learned something. If I saw a towel, honest, I would probably turn it in to the front desk thinking someone forgot it. I didn't know that is how you "claim" a machine. Then again, perhaps I'd just pick another machine unless the one with the towel was the last one standing.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Wow, I just learned something. If I saw a towel, honest, I would probably turn it in to the front desk thinking someone forgot it. I didn't know that is how you "claim" a machine. Then again, perhaps I'd just pick another machine unless the one with the towel was the last one standing.
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For some reason, those towels wind up on the floor just before I get there :D
 
FlySince9 said:
For some reason, those towels wind up on the floor just before I get there :D
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Honest to god, I haven't the slightest idea who might have peed in your water bottle! (grin smiley)
 
But dude, you gotta understand, just because you don't like it doesn't mean they don't want you for their manwich. It's that animal magnetism, you gotta have some gaydar reflection value.
 
Sac Arrow said:
//begin rant


I don't want to talk to guys on the cardio machine. I'm not in to guys. I torture myself mercilessly two hours a day at the gym so I can talk to GIRLS, not to GUYS. And by the way, both of you can stand to put a little more effort into your respective workouts as well.
//end rant
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If you're on a cardio machine and you still have enough breath left over to carry on a conversation, you not working hard enough. :rofl:
 
weilke said:
Now I understand what the business model of womens only gyms is based on.
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BrianNC said:
I think it would be more for women that don't want men to see them in their workout clothes in their present physical condition.
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From what I've observed, there are two classes of women that attend Curves (women that attend Curves that may be reading this, please feel free to correct or clarify me if I'm wrong) but there are the overweight ladies that are indeed self conscious, and find the seclusion of a small, time reservation based gym to be attractive. Then the other class is attractive women that for whatever reason, are put off by guys checking them out. They are the ones that, whether it's 80 degrees and a sauna inside or 50 and freezing, will wear a zipper top aerobic jacket and then tie it around their waist once they jump on a machine (GOD does that annoy me.) Kimberly, you probably do that. I know you do.

DeeG said:
If you're on a cardio machine and you still have enough breath left over to carry on a conversation, you not working hard enough. :rofl:
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Point well taken! I'm partially in agreement with this. I use "talk" somewhat in the figurative sense. I actually rarely talk, as in verbal communication when I'm on a cardio machine. If I am talking, it's because I'm exercising with someone I know. Bear in mind I do cardio for an hour straight - I can't maintain a pace that precludes intermittant conversation for a whole hour. Some people can. Kudos to them.
 
Sac Arrow said:
From what I've observed, there are two classes of women that attend Curves (women that attend Curves that may be reading this, please feel free to correct or clarify me if I'm wrong) but there are the overweight ladies that are indeed self conscious, and find the seclusion of a small, time reservation based gym to be attractive. Then the other class is attractive women that for whatever reason, are put off by guys checking them out.
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To your two classes at Curves ( overweight/self-concious, and attractive who don't want to be checked out ), I would add another: women like my mom (70+ yo) who simply want to get some exercise in an environment that is geared towards their physical ability.


Carry on...
 
Sac Arrow said:
From what I've observed, there are two classes of women that attend Curves (women that attend Curves that may be reading this, please feel free to correct or clarify me if I'm wrong) but there are the overweight ladies that are indeed self conscious, and find the seclusion of a small, time reservation based gym to be attractive. Then the other class is attractive women that for whatever reason, are put off by guys checking them out. They are the ones that, whether it's 80 degrees and a sauna inside or 50 and freezing, will wear a zipper top aerobic jacket and then tie it around their waist once they jump on a machine (GOD does that annoy me.) Kimberly, you probably do that. I know you do.
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I just tied a jacket around my waist last weekend, but no - I don't do that at the gym (it just unties itself and falls off when I'm running on the treadmill). What I do is wear ugly baggy clothes. Especially pants. No tight pants.
 
SkyHog said:
Seems the easy answer is to fart.
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As a general rule of thumb, an initial fart offsets approximately two weeks of effort. Subsequent farts increase the social recovery period exponentially.

"Dude, like, she was so totally hot, and so in to you, what happened?"

"I farted a third time."

"Dude I'm sorry."
 
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