OP checking back in, now home after a long drive. Thanks for the thoughts and comments.
So... with a bunch of time to think about it, my thoughts are as follows:
1) If I were coming out of a backcountry strip or if I had been by myself, I think in retrospect the thing to do was to cut the alternator belt off to eliminate further damage, smoke, or fire, and limp home without radios. I say that because this is pretty rural country and it was a perfect VFR day. But with the whole family on board, this wasn’t really that realistic and, frankly, I didn’t think about it until we were already halfway home.
2) I honestly think the hardware store is a perfectly reasonable solution in a pinch, but it’s probably not legal. I said the FBO wouldn’t go for it because I wasn’t going to be able to do that myself. Yes, I could have gone to the hardware store and figured out a workable bolt, but there’s no way to get the bolt in without loosening the tensioning bolt on the other side of the alternator, and that would mean loosening that bolt, inserting the new one, and re-tensioning the alternator. Having never tensioned an alternator belt, I would have been purely guessing, and today was not the day for that.
3) With the above in mind, the only way the hardware store solution would work would be for me to find the bolt and ask the local A&P to install it, and without the correct hardware and after talking to them about possible solutions it was clear there was no way they were going to do that for me. And, again, it’s probably not legal, so I’m not surprised they wouldn’t do it for a stranger, especially on a Saturday the weekend after Thanksgiving.
Anyway, I asked the local FBO to figure out the part and get it back together and I’ll figure out a way to return the car and pick up the plane. Pain in the ass, but so it goes.
You know what was the worst part? The worst part is that this actually happened on what was supposed to be a quick sight-seeing flight with my 70 year old mom, who is terrified of and convinced our plane is a death trap. The plan was to take her on a beautiful sightseeing flight around the mountains for an hour or so and then the family would come meet us at the airport and we’d load up the kids and fly home. We’ve flown that plane 400+ hours without hardly a fart and certainly never been stranded, and on the day I go to take up my nervous nelly mom we end up with an “emergency” landing. Sheesh. Life.