Stinging Insect Rant (N/A... well sort of... they do fly)

Deelee

Deelee

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Deelee
I was going to write the title as "Bee Rant", but that would probably make the honeybee lovers mad.

To set the stage - my aero-plane is broken. She sits with her alternator ripped from deep within her most scared of cavities - the engine bay. She sits, unable to produce the life-blood of her electrical system..... electricity... Her donor alternator will not arrive until Monday. So I also sit... unable to take flight.

As I have nothing to do today except brood and fret over gravity's tether on my being, I decide to perform some hatred landscaping. Specifically, the shaping of several large hedges and shrubbery that surround my abode.

While delicately carving away at an overgrown boxwood, I feel the angry jab of a stinger piercing the armor of my Miller Lite t-shirt and continuing it's journey into my flesh.

Curse! Curse you vile insect! Why? Oh, why. I am not your enemy! I only wish to increase the property value of my home and un-**** off my spouse who, if this chore left unperformed, would inflict more stinging pain than thy barb. Why!! Oh, stinging, fiery pain! Venom searing and inflicting more agony than the very torment I feel looking at the azure sky knowing I will not take flight. But death be to thee! For with your angry prick, you have dis-emboweled yourself. So perish! Burn in whatever hell exists for your winged kind.

I haterd bees.
 
Deelee said:
I was going to write the title as "Bee Rant", but that would probably make the honeybee lovers mad.

To set the stage - my aero-plane is broken. She sits with her alternator ripped from deep within her most scared of cavities - the engine bay. She sits, unable to produce the life-blood of her electrical system..... electricity... Her donor alternator will not arrive until Monday. So I also sit... unable to take flight.

As I have nothing to do today except brood and fret over gravity's tether on my being, I decide to perform some hatred landscaping. Specifically, the shaping of several large hedges and shrubbery that surround my abode.

While delicately carving away at an overgrown boxwood, I feel the angry jab of a stinger piercing the armor of my Miller Lite t-shirt and continuing it's journey into my flesh.

Curse! Curse you vile insect! Why? Oh, why. I am not your enemy! I only wish to increase the property value of my home and un-**** off my spouse who, if this chore left unperformed, would inflict more stinging pain than thy barb. Why!! Oh, stinging, fiery pain! Venom searing and inflicting more agony than the very torment I feel looking at the azure sky knowing I will not take flight. But death be to thee! For with your angry prick, you have dis-emboweled yourself. So perish! Burn in whatever hell exists for your winged kind.

I haterd bees.
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I forwarded this to BOA, Beekeepers Of America. You can expect a retaliatory swarm of bees to be dispatched to your house any day now
 
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9/10. Great passion. Liked the Shakespear-style language. Subtle cross-references to other posts/topics. Not a tome; short and to the point.
 
Seriously, flying AND stinging is just too much power for one creature.
 
luvflyin said:
BOA, Beekeepers Of America
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At BoA, I wonder if they go back-and-forth over there about which type of bee is better - high winged, or low? Stinger-up or north-up? How to enter the pattern to the hive - cross mid-hive then teardrop to the 45 downwind or just buzz it straight in? Do they debate if it is ok to clog up hive CTAF with calls for ABITAPA???
 
Deelee said:
At BoA, I wonder if they go back-and-forth over there about which type of bee is better - high winged, or low? Stinger-up or north-up? How to enter the pattern to the hive - cross mid-hive then teardrop to the 45 downwind or just buzz it straight in? Do they debate if it is ok to clog up hive CTAF with calls for ABITAPA???
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Overhead break. Anything else would be unacceptable for an insect with armaments.
 
Deelee said:
For with your angry prick, you have dis-emboweled yourself.
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Sure it was a honeybee? If not, unfortunately, you don't even get the satisfaction of this. Yellowjackets, wasps, bumblebees, hornets, etc. don't have barbs on their stingers, so they can sting multiple times.

Honeybees? In high school I worked outside multiple times and had them crawling on me. No big deal. Yellow jackets, on the other hand, are Satan's spawn. I was stung 40+ times by these fiends from hell one time when I pushed a mower over their below-ground nest.
 
Probably not a (honey) bee, but some wasp (***hole with wings). I've been working with honeybees for years and probably only been stung four times. Most of the time it was my fault doing things like grasping my hand around a tool that had a bee sitting on it and trapping the poor girl.
 
I made the mistake of disturbing not just one, but two, hornets last year while installing some wiring outside the house. "Mad as hornets" doesn't even describe it - I was pulling something and they took aim for my hand.

I found some cortisone, then the welding gloves and wasp spray. Ended up being Bill-5, Hornets/Wasps-2.

I've already had to dispatch a couple of borer bees this year that were chowing-down on the pressure-treated lumber on my deck. "No, I'm not replacing those boards at the current prices! Are you crazy? So take that!"
 
In retrospect, it was probably not a honeybee. So that means the stinging son-of-a-bee is still out there.

Waiting. Biding its time. Plotting...
 
Deelee said:
In retrospect, it was probably not a honeybee. So that means the stinging son-of-a-bee is still out there.

Waiting. Biding its time. Plotting...
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Its waiting for you to fly again. Who knows what revenge it will take.
 
flhrci said:
Its waiting for you to fly again
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Given the way things have gone recently, it may be long expired before I take meaningful flight that takes me out of the traffic pattern and doesn't result in a failure somewhere in my electrical system.

Wasps fly longer XCs than I have recently.
 
My airplane went in for a squawk weeks ago, it wouldn't start. A new starter later, it still doesn't start. Another visit to the shop and it still won't start, Mrs. Steingar was a witness to that one. The damn airplane is from 1962 and these professional mechanics can't fix it. Color me unimpressed.
 
steingar said:
My airplane went in for a squawk weeks ago, it wouldn't start. A new starter later, it still doesn't start
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Sorry. I feel your pain. Not the pain of the angry jab from a winged, stinging insect. No, the pain of having a seemingly simple issue drag on and remain unresolved.

Starter won't start? Replace starter. Aeroplane still won't start.
Alternator won't alternate? Replace alternator. Aeroplane still won't alternate.

Not sure how these things end up dragging on. But it is no fun.
 
steingar said:
My airplane went in for a squawk weeks ago, it wouldn't start. A new starter later, it still doesn't start. Another visit to the shop and it still won't start, Mrs. Steingar was a witness to that one. The damn airplane is from 1962 and these professional mechanics can't fix it. Color me unimpressed.
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Why don't you fix it? I mean, you are an expert at everything.
 
EdFred said:
Why don't you fix it? I mean, you are an expert at everything.
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Because last I checked it is illegal for me to "fix" anything on my airplane that isn't on a fairly short list from the FAA that doesn't include the electrical system. Since you're the expert on ALL things aviation perhaps you know better. Perhaps you don't.
 
steingar said:
Because last I checked it is illegal for me to "fix" anything on my airplane that isn't on a fairly short list from the FAA that doesn't include the electrical system. Since you're the expert on ALL things aviation perhaps you know better. Perhaps you don't.
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Wrong answer! It is NOT illegal.

You *can* fix it, you just have the AP/IA sign off on it to return it to service. Someone as smart as you claim you are should have known that.

I've done a number of fixes on my plane, and then just had the IA sign off on it. Off the top of my head, I've replaced an alternator, pistons, done rewiring, installed a few other things. When I'm done, have the IA give it a once over, sign the paperwork and it's all good.
 
steingar said:
Because last I checked it is illegal for me to "fix" anything on my airplane that isn't on a fairly short list from the FAA that doesn't include the electrical system. Since you're the expert on ALL things aviation perhaps you know better. Perhaps you don't.
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That short list does include diagnosing and fixing faults in the landing light circuit. If I follow the wire long enough, just about any wire in my plane gets connected to the landing light.
\
 
Don't you guys go getting my bee thread locked up....
 
Hey, getting back to bees. I do have this in my back hallway:

41237431434_097f56e903_c.jpg


It's mesmerizing watching the bees do their thing there.
 
@flyingron that is a really interesting thing to have in the home. Like a fish tank, but with bees. I guess I don't have an issue with the bees. I like honey. A lot. I just have a beef with the other rat-bastards of the flying/stinging insect community. Wasps. Hornets. Yellow-Jackets. They don't even make honey, right? They just fly around all ****ed off and sting people for no reason.
 
Deelee said:
@flyingron that is a really interesting thing to have in the home. Like a fish tank, but with bees. I guess I don't have an issue with the bees. I like honey. A lot. I just have a beef with the other rat-bastards of the flying/stinging insect community. Wasps. Hornets. Yellow-Jackets. They don't even make honey, right? They just fly around all ****ed off and sting people for no reason.
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Yellow jackets do feed on pest species of other insects though. So they help out agriculturally as well.
 
EdFred said:
Yellow jackets do feed on pest species of other insects though. So they help out agriculturally as well.
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I still no like. Let them sting the pests all they want. Leave me alone. All I wanted to do was make my hedge look purdy. And they stung me.
 
I sort of collect tshirts. Anytime I order anything online, I put in the comments block - "Shameless plug for a free tshirt. I am a men's M. Thanks!"

About 3/4 time, I get a free tshirt. Only aviation related company that hasn't sent me one is Sporty's.
 
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