So who is this Bryan Turner, and why does the FAA want to investigate him?

Daniel Millican

Daniel Millican

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Dan Millican
Here's a video that explains a little too much. The irony is that we shot this months ago. Enjoy!

Dan
 
That's a super ironic first couple of questions and answers :D
 
Three hour hold getting into Oshkosh?

I wrote a song about it.


Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale

a tale of a fateful trip,

that started from a Texas port,

aboard this Grumman ship.

The pilot was a mighty fllyin' man,

the camera brave and sure,

no passengers took flight that day,

for a three hour hold,

a three hour hold.

The traffic started getting rough,

the tiny plane was tossed.

If not for the courage of the fearless crew

the Grumman would be lost.

The Grumman would be lost.

The plane’s aground on the edge of this

ginormous campground space,

with Just Plane Silly,

and Bryan too.

The millionaires and their wives,

the movie stars,

and all the rest,

here on Wittman Field.

Here on Wittman Field.
 
That safety pilot rating sounds like it would come in handy for those of us on BasicMed. ;)
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
Three hour hold getting into Oshkosh?

I wrote a song about it.


Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale

a tale of a fateful trip,

that started from a Texas port,

aboard this Grumman ship.

The pilot was a mighty fllyin' man,

the camera brave and sure,

no passengers took flight that day,

for a three hour hold,

a three hour hold.

The traffic started getting rough,

the tiny plane was tossed.

If not for the courage of the fearless crew

the Grumman would be lost.

The Grumman would be lost.

The plane’s aground on the edge of this

ginormous campground space,

with Just Plane Silly,

and Bryan too.

The millionaires and their wives,

the movie stars,

and all the rest,

here on Wittman Field.

Here on Wittman Field.
Click to expand...
Brilliant!
 
Bryan is my Spirit Guide.
 
I think he's an actor....that plays some kind of pilot/flight instructor on a bunch of YouTube videos.....o_O
 
Sitting here making script notes about a Monty Python-esque sketch....

[Setting: News room, with an anchor person sitting at a desk, reading the news]​

Anchorperson: "And now.... A comedy sketch not about the F.A.A."​

[Setting: An official bureaucratic office. A man in a suit/tie is at the desk holding a sign labeled "Definitely not an F.A.A. Inspector"]​

Not an F.A.A. Inspector: "Mr. Turner, we have a complaint registered against you that you are exercising humor and satire without the appropriate certifications. And since we who are not of the F.A.A. do not have a sense of humor that we know of, we are required to investigate."
​
Or

Bryan Turner: Trouble at Facebook North Texas Aviators.

Eren Turner: Oh no - what sort of trouble?

Turner: One on't me funny posts gone owt askew on the CFI thread.

E. Turner: Pardon?

Turner: One on't me funny posts gone owt askew on the CFI thread.

E. Turner: I don't understand what you're saying.

Turner: (slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent) One on't me funny posts gone owt askew on the CFI thread.

E. Turner: Well what on earth does that mean?

Turner: *I* don't know - Mr Blythe just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the Facebook group, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of FSDO Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The door flies open and (Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith (not) of the North Texas FSDO enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Inspector Biggles has goggles pushed over his forehead. Inspector Fang is just Inspector Fang)

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: NOBODY expects the FSDO Inquisition! Our chief weapon is lack of sense of humor... lack of sense of humor and the ability to totally annoy you... ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor.... Our two weapons are the ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor...and ruthless efficiency in quoting the FARs.... Our *three* weapons are the ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor...and ruthless efficiency in quoting the FARs...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Administrator.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as the ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor.... I'll come in again. (Exit and exeunt)

Turner: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The inspectors burst in)​
(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: NOBODY expects the (not the) FSDO Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: the ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor...and ruthless efficiency in quoting the FARs, an almost fanatical devotion to the Administrator, and nice uniforms with white shirts and epaulettes - Oh damn! (To Inspector Biggles) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.

Biggles: What?

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'

Biggles: (rather horrified): I couldn't do that... ((Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith bundles the cardinals outside again)

Turner (deadpan): I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The inspectors enter)​
Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um....

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Expects...

Biggles: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the FSDO...um...

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Inquisition.

Biggles: I know, I know! Nobody expects the FSDO Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Our chief weapons are...

Biggles: Our chief weapons are...um...er...

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Total lack of a sense of humor...

Biggles: Total lack of a sense of humor and --

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ...our chief weapons are a total lack of a sense of humor...blah blah blah. Inspector, read the charges.

Fang: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit humor and satire against the Holy Church, errrr, Aviation Administration.

Biggles: That's enough. (To B. Turner) Now, how do you plead?

B. Turner: We're innocent.

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

(Superimposed caption: 'DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER')​



((( Now watch me get ratted out for FSDO plagerism )))
 
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Brilliant!

.....wonder what those poor souls without Python upbringings will make of it tho.
Their loss
 
AggieMike88 said:
Sitting here making script notes about a Monty Python-esque sketch....

[Setting: News room, with an anchor person sitting at a desk, reading the news]​

Anchorperson: "And now.... A comedy sketch not about the F.A.A."​

[Setting: An official bureaucratic office. A man in a suit/tie is at the desk holding a sign labeled "Definitely not an F.A.A. Inspector"]​

Not an F.A.A. Inspector: "Mr. Turner, we have a complaint registered against you that you are exercising humor and satire without the appropriate certifications. And since we who are not of the F.A.A. do not have a sense of humor that we know of, we are required to investigate."
​
Or

Bryan Turner: Trouble at Facebook North Texas Aviators.

Eren Turner: Oh no - what sort of trouble?

Turner: One on't me funny posts gone owt askew on the CFI thread.

E. Turner: Pardon?

Turner: One on't me funny posts gone owt askew on the CFI thread.

E. Turner: I don't understand what you're saying.

Turner: (slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent) One on't me funny posts gone owt askew on the CFI thread.

E. Turner: Well what on earth does that mean?

Turner: *I* don't know - Mr Blythe just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the Facebook group, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of FSDO Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The door flies open and (Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith (not) of the North Texas FSDO enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Inspector Biggles has goggles pushed over his forehead. Inspector Fang is just Inspector Fang)

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: NOBODY expects the FSDO Inquisition! Our chief weapon is lack of sense of humor... lack of sense of humor and the ability to totally annoy you... ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor.... Our two weapons are the ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor...and ruthless efficiency in quoting the FARs.... Our *three* weapons are the ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor...and ruthless efficiency in quoting the FARs...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Administrator.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as the ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor.... I'll come in again. (Exit and exeunt)

Turner: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The inspectors burst in)​
(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: the ability totally annoy you and lack of sense of humor...and ruthless efficiency in quoting the FARs, an almost fanatical devotion to the Administrator, and nice uniforms with white shirts and epaulettes - Oh damn! (To Inspector Biggles) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.

Biggles: What?

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'

Biggles: (rather horrified): I couldn't do that... ((Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith bundles the cardinals outside again)

Turner (deadpan): I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)

(The inspectors enter)​
Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um....

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Expects...

Biggles: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the FSDO...um...

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Inquisition.

Biggles: I know, I know! Nobody expects the FSDO Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Our chief weapons are...

Biggles: Our chief weapons are...um...er...

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Total lack of a sense of humor...

Biggles: Total lack of a sense of humor and --

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ...our chief weapons are a total lack of a sense of humor...blah blah blah. Inspector, read the charges.

Fang: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit humor and satire against the Holy Church, errrr, Aviation Administration.

Biggles: That's enough. (To B. Turner) Now, how do you plead?

B. Turner: We're innocent.

(Not from the F.A.A.) Inspector Smith: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

(Superimposed caption: 'DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER')​



((( Now watch me get ratted out for FSDO plagerism )))
Click to expand...
Three is the number of weapons to be counted, and the number of weapons to be counted shall be three. Thou shalt not counteth to four, nor shalt thou counteth to two unless then continuing on to three. Five is right out.
 
wrbix said:
Brilliant!

.....wonder what those poor souls without Python upbringings will make of it tho.
Their loss
Click to expand...
There is a show on Netflix about them doing a live show at the O2 arena in London. Many of the comments from the original cast was just how relevant their humor remains after 40 plus years and how surprised they are at the growth of their fan base.
 
Ken Ibold said:
Three is the number of weapons to be counted, and the number of weapons to be counted shall be three. Thou shalt not counteth to four, nor shalt thou counteth to two unless then continuing on to three. Five is right out.
Click to expand...
Good try, but if we're going to ravage the script from the Holy Grail, maybe the scene with Lancelot, Zoot, and spankings would be a tad more appropriate...

Or "Brave Brave Sir Robin"
 
And I so want to do a parody of "Knights of the Round Table" with and end of "... On second thought, let's not go to the FSDO, tis a silly place"

Trying to think of lyrics that won't get them all mad at me.
 
Last edited:
Ken Ibold said:
Three is the number of weapons to be counted, and the number of weapons to be counted shall be three. Thou shalt not counteth to four, nor shalt thou counteth to two unless then continuing on to three. Five is right out.
Click to expand...

With that all done, let's all run away! Run away! And have a beer . . . .
 
AggieMike88 said:
Good try, but if we're going to ravage the script from the Holy Grail, maybe the scene with Lancelot, Zoot, and spankings would be a tad more appropriate...

Or "Brave Brave Sir Bryan"
Click to expand...

FTFY.
 
Still working on the remaining verses.... And with deep apologies to Nancy Sinatra and "These Boots"

You keep saying you got something funny
Something you call satire but confess
You’ve been making videos when you shoulda been a-flying
And now a Facebooker has gotten all sorts of ****ed

Fizzdoh inspectors are now involved
Inspecting is what they do
One of these days this Fizzdoh is gonna walk all over you

You fly a Cirrus but fly a Grumman Slummin
That fifty mile final when you ain’t landed yet.
How can you land when you ain’t pulled that Chute?
Now that’s not serious but you ain’t been Cirrus yet

Fizzdoh inspectors are now involved
Inspecting is what they do
One of these days this Fizzdoh is gonna walk all over you​
 
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-ah.

I soiled my armor I was so scared.
 
The four documents required to be in an airplane are:
spam, eggs, bacon, and spam.

So just show the inspector the logbook page that just says "spam, spam, spam, spam, spam..."
 
". . . cause there's bugger-all down here on the earth. . ."
 
wrbix said:
Brilliant!

.....wonder what those poor souls without Python upbringings will make of it tho.
Their loss
Click to expand...

Ok, I am getting too techie. My first thought on reading this was “well, maybe they can learn Perl if they don’t know Python...”

Yes, I am full aware of the references, just too much tech in my world.
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
Three hour hold getting into Oshkosh?

I wrote a song about it.


Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale

a tale of a fateful trip,

that started from a Texas port,

aboard this Grumman ship.

The pilot was a mighty fllyin' man,

the camera brave and sure,

no passengers took flight that day,

for a three hour hold,

a three hour hold.

The traffic started getting rough,

the tiny plane was tossed.

If not for the courage of the fearless crew

the Grumman would be lost.

The Grumman would be lost.

The plane’s aground on the edge of this

ginormous campground space,

with Just Plane Silly,

and Bryan too.

The millionaires and their wives,

the movie stars,

and all the rest,

here on Wittman Field.

Here on Wittman Field.
Click to expand...

That's some genius right there.
 
Bryan should wave his private parts in their general direction...
 
had a first look at a vid, hilarious !! :rofl: :rockon:
 
Some day, I should do the aviation version of MP's Yorkshireman sketch.

 
I really like watching these. Keep ‘em coming!
 
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