So ... How Do You Go?

Daleandee

Daleandee

Final Approach
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Mar 4, 2020
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Dale Andee
You have been level at 8500' for over and hour and have about that long to go before landing but the morning coffee is demanding to be let out.

There's no way you want to have to make an unscheduled stop by coming down from 8500' (with a nice tail wind) to relieve yourself so you execute plan "B". My question is ... what is your plan B?

An online search for ideas brings up some very interesting ideas ...
 
+1 Gatorade bottle. Not the small one. The 32oz'er. The green one.... or the clear frost depending on your hydration level.
 
I've dealt with that issue once. The problem is that the stick in the RV-6 is darned near right up against your crotch in the first place. So the first step is to lift your left leg over the stick, and now you're sitting almost sidesaddle and sort of on top of the fuel valve. It gets easier from there, but the geometry still isn't good with the shallow footwell and the fairly steep recline of the seats. I didn't spill anything, but it would have been impossible with a passenger in the airplane and I'd just as soon land as do *that* again.
 
RyanB said:
Gatorade bottle?
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Yes. With my regular 5+ hour legs in planes with no relief tube, I refilled many of these over the years.

The reality is you can make any bottle work, but obviously the ones with larger openings are easier.
 
whatever choice you go with, give it a test run both at home as well as in the plane. I had a bottle I thought would work but on my test run at home my winky wouldn't fit. it was a proud moment for me but also a good learning experience before I found out the hard way. um, no pun intended, u sick b@stards!
 
Zip lock bag with a dry sponge in it. Standard equipment around the boat. Trick was sneaking it your COTAC’s flight bag when he wasn’t looking....
 
lol I'm sorry but a ziplock bag sounds like the worst idea evarrr
 
eman1200 said:
lol I'm sorry but a ziplock bag sounds like the worst idea evarrr
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That was what i used the one time i went #1 in the airplane. It worked, but I had plenty of concerns.
 
Ok... the REST of the story. “Official” navy, probably just military, piddle packs were a weird shaped ziplock of sorts with a dyhydrated sponge. Sort of had a “neck, hence the odd shape. Clearly for a guy... then come the wimmen, naturally complaining, which is justified. So they start offering “depends”. Cool. THEN they discontinue the piddle packs due to discrimination concerns... NOT COOL.

No problem, maintenance yielded us mil spec zip locks they used to hold small parts, usually screws, while repairing what ever. 1st Lt division yielded us the sponges. Powers that be eventually conceded and started supplying real piddle packs again.

Piddle packs apparently DO have a shelf life. I carried one for YEARS until I eventually needed it... After (mostly, another story) filling, I noticed it was more like a plant waterer than a container... uh, hmmm... quick thinking I whipped out the matching years old barf bag and double wrapped. Success!

I was guest flying a Pax River bird. I apologized profusely about peeing all over their jet. “No worries! We have civilian maintenance!” was the reply. About peed myself a second time!!
 
Tantalum said:
#2
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This was never part of the conversation. I am pretty sure there is language in the AIM about declaring an emergency in the event of.... #2.

Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
A generic water bottle will work
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I guess. In a pinch. But my aim isn't good to begin with. And even light to moderate turbulence introduces variables I would not want to deal with.
 
Autopilot, tell ATC I have to go off freq for a bit to use the sat phone and then head back to the potty...

Just kidding, I have a bladder like a camel - I've never needed to go in flight in over 2500+ hours of flying.
 
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Number two in a parachute harness in an ejection suit... No personal (really, I’d fess up) experience, but boy do I have a good story about that one!

Snapple fact 1,089... an emergency pull forward (carrier speak for making an immediate ready deck for an emergency recovery between landing cycles when respotting is going on) for “pilot discomfort” is really the best way to deal with that and carries no judgement!
 
I had to use the bottle once, in Alaska, in winter while flying a 207.

It takes skill to work through a layer of polypros, Carhardt insulated britches and Carhardt insulated overalls while holding heading and altitude under a 1000 ft ceiling plus dealing with cold shrinkage....
 
Plastic lidded coffee can with vermiculite, sawdust, or kitty litter inside it.
 
Other than Gatorade bottles, I carry a peanut jar, the plastic one with the clear lid. In addition to having a wider mouth, I am unlikely to mistake it for a beverage.
 
Years ago we were flying over the Australian outback on a long leg. She asked me to dig out a ziploc bag from our snacks and says I'm going to laugh at her. I told her I wasn't going to laugh because when she is through she's going to empty the remains of the water bottle out the window so I can use it.
 
I kept several empty Gatorade bottles in my plane. I used them frequently (BPH).
 
Never had to - I have a fairly large bladder, although as I get older I realize that never having to pee is more a function of not hydrating properly. Fortunately once I started flying airplanes with the kind of range to outlast my bladder, there was a second pilot and a forward (don't want to make the walk of shame!) lav.
 
kayoh190 said:
Never had to - I have a fairly large bladder, although as I get older I realize that never having to pee is more a function of not hydrating properly. Fortunately once I started flying airplanes with the kind of range to outlast my bladder, there was a second pilot and a forward (don't want to make the walk of shame!) lav.
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It's only a walk of shame if you leave the lav wearing different pants than what you entered with.
 
I can tell you from experience that using the little vent window on a Cherokee is pretty impossible. I carry piddle packs I get from the A-10 pilots at work and one of those red porta john bottles. Since my first incident in which I needed something and didn't have it, I haven't had to use one since. If I'm planning a longer flight, I don't drink much beforehand but carry water/coffee to drink within an hour of landing.
 
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Some great and quite humorous responses so far! My craft doesn't have a great deal of room and I don't find it easy to relive myself in a sitting position especially if it's bumpy. For the most part I try to limit my intake before a flight and keep the flight legs fairly short.

I did read of a particular instance where the pilot had nothing to use so he found a plastic baggie and stuffed it with paper towels ... :D
 
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