"Smart People Jokes"

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.
 
There are two hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

There are two hard problems in distributed systems: 2. Exactly-once delivery 1. Guaranteed order of messages 2. Exactly-once delivery

I'll tell you a UDP joke, but I'm not sure you'd get it.
 
A TCP packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”,

barman says “you want a beer?”

and TCP packet says “yes, a beer”
 
and the bartender does a packet inspection and says "NAK! No beer for you!" .... ok, more coffee required.
 
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