Scared of my instructor

einepilotin

einepilotin

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Dec 10, 2016
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einepilotin
My instructor yells at me the 80 percent of the time we fly. I was fine with it at first since i knew i am still bad at controlling the plane so I kinda thought I deserve. Well i am not still good but .. maybe i am slow learner!! I was being told I am a good pilot from examiner and my former instructors when I was doing PPL.

But now I am feeling like I am really losing the confidence. I am getting really nervous before i go fly with him. My knees are shaking. I am crying almost everytime on the way back home. Lol
I am just worried, my performance is influenced from this nervousness. I make a lot of mistakes with ATC. (Never had problem with this before).. fixated, my feet on the rudder peddal starts shaking lol oh my gosh....

But my shool doesn't offer other options. I have visa expiring soon and got time plans to keep up with for the job. So the best is finishing with him and go home. Any tips please? Honestly this guy is good with teaching.. just the way carrying is it a bit mean.... I know he is trying to help me but i am getting weak :/ How should I survive and stay strong here? :(
 
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I will admit that I really liked my instructor that yelled at me. Why? Because he enforced in me concepts and skills that will keep me alive. I will always remember the lessons because I had to win his confidence. We are friends today and I really enjoy talking and flying with him.

Now, given the challenge of the visa and I'm guessing time constraint, and not having any other CFI, it seems you'll have to learn to communicate and get along with your CFI. Things to consider:

1. Talk to your CFI and try to debrief after the flight and understand what you did wrong that he wants you to correct. Go over it in your head time and time again so that the next time, you try to do it correctly. Don't be afraid to tell the CFI that you want to practice a maneuver over and over again "until you get it right."

2. If you're not confident in a maneuver, tell the CFI that and ask that he demonstrate the maneuver.

3. If you know that a maneuver isn't going well, tell the CFI. Don't wait for him to yell at you. Talk first and advise that you're not sure of what to do next (but at all times, keep a safe flight altitude and attitude.) Don't be shy to ask your CFI to walk you through each step of the maneuver, especially if you are performing the maneuver. He will yell at you if something is dangerous (too low airspeed, for example), and you should make it a point to tell him you understand the mistake, and try to perform the maneuver again and correct that error.

4. Chat with your CFI and see if you can get to know him as a person. See if you common interests to talk about. You will be spending hours with this guy in a fairly small cockpit. You should get to know him. Better if you can get him to laugh.

5. Don't be afraid. It serves no purpose and only hurts you in your performance and ability to learn. Take command of your education by practicing in your mind the maneuvers until you're confident, then going up with your CFI and practicing until he's satisfied. Your CFI will be evaluating your ability to absorb the lesson. If you're nervous or afraid, he will sense that you're not able to absorb any more instruction and have you return to the airport to land.

6. Have FUN! Remember that flying is a fun experience. Go and perform the maneuvers, take pride in doing those things you do well. If you're already taking off and flying to the practice area without issue, enjoy that time in flight and tell yourself it's a reward for the lessons and progress thus far.

Good luck.
 
Thank you so much- your words help me to stop taking it personally and emotionally right away. I have been already frustrated myself with my poor skill and his yelling on top of that.. just felt so stressed...
 
Also, don't forget that your CFI works for you.

It is OK to lay out the ground rules with him, explain to him the issues you have with his teaching style, and help him adjust. He may not realize his instruction is being interpreted as yelling.
 
Find a new CFI.

Remind the school where the money comes from and that if you're getting crap instruction the flow of your cash can quickly stop.
 
James331 said:
Find a new CFI.

Remind the school where the money comes from and that if you're getting crap instruction the flow of your cash can quickly stop.
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Go back and read the OP - there may not be another CFI and the OP is on a short schedule before leaving the country.
 
James331 said:
From the sounds of it, doesn't seem like Mr. Angry is going to get the OP done ether.
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That's not evident. Too much extrapolation, and your advice is to trade a potential failure for a certain one.

I'm also seeing a glaring communication problem. English is obviously not the first language, and while it's pretty good, demeanor and tone are much easier to misunderstand than words.

I think it's time for a heart to heart.

The time constraint is not helping. It may be unavoidable in this case.

Though I can't say I'm surprised POA advises dumping the instructor. Certain people do that if he sneezes in flight. I've seen it happen with posters who have already gone through several. I guess it's easier than actually analyzing the problem.
 
MAKG1 said:
That's not evident. Too much extrapolation, and your advice is to trade a potential failure for a certain one.

I'm also seeing a glaring communication problem. English is obviously not the first language, and while it's pretty good, demeanor and tone are much easier to misunderstand than words.

I think it's time for a heart to heart.
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Sorry, but if the CFI is yelling and the student is actually shacking because of him, that's where this story (and the CFIs services) end, this is a non recoverable fault on the part of the CFI.
 
James331 said:
Sorry, but if the CFI is yelling and the student is actually shacking because of him, that's where this story (and the CFIs services) end, this is a non recoverable fault on the part of the CFI.
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No, it isn't.

And your advice is basically to pack it up and go home now. I would think an attempt to solve the problem first would be in order.

And perhaps a bit of analysis. Do you not see the passivity in this post? A student can set bounds short of just giving up.
 
murphey said:
Go back and read the OP - there may not be another CFI and the OP is on a short schedule before leaving the country.
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It is difficult to believe that there is not another CFI available if the OP is here on a student visa. From my experience schools who take on foreign students are typically not small operations with limited personnel. OP probably has options.
 
James331 said:
Sorry, but if the CFI is yelling and the student is actually shacking because of him, that's where this story (and the CFIs services) end, this is a non recoverable fault on the part of the CFI.
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"Yelling" can sometimes be perceived on a gray scale, particularly with different cultures involved.

I can have a rather direct and serious voice, and have been accused of "yelling" at someone in an open office environment when others verified I was speaking directly but never raised my voice above a soft conversation level.
 
If you are truly frightened and hate going flying and dread dealing with your instructor, and this has been going on for some time, start looking for a different instructor. If its not working for you, it's probably not working for him either. How many students has this guy gotten through their PPL? Ask him. Get help. Talk to the owner of the flight school or other instructors. Try a different airport if you have to.

An occasional raising voice (yelling) is an error but might be tolerated. CFI are human, not GODS (in spite of what they may think :)). But if it happens a LOT, its unacceptable. He works for you. Take charge of your training. Its YOUR money, safety and career on the line. Time to get to work on it.
 
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James331 said:
Find a new CFI.

Remind the school where the money comes from and that if you're getting crap instruction the flow of your cash can quickly stop.
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Is yelling automatically "crap instruction?"
 
MAKG1 said:
No, it isn't.

And your advice is basically to pack it up and go home now. I would think an attempt to solve the problem first would be in order.

And perhaps a bit of analysis. Do you not see the passivity in this post? A student can set bounds short of just giving up.
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agree.
 
James331 said:
Yes.
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I agree. But people also have different definitions of what "yelling" is, and may react differently to tone, especially if there are cultural differences or english is not the primary language

But overall I agree. A student should not be shaking and crying from their instruction, that sounds terrible and makes learning very hard if you are terrified the whole time. It's time to find a different instructor, and if one is not available then school, to be frank. Getting your PPL in that environment will be a very long, and likely traumatic road
 
spiderweb said:
Is yelling automatically "crap instruction?"
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It means the CFI can't convey the point in a professional manner. I tend to think of 'yelling' or any frantic type communication as a last ditch effort. Unless it's an emergency yelling should be reserved for taking control of the aircraft and resolving said situation. Then have a discussion about it on the ground. I can't think of any environment where 'yelling' is conducive to learning. Get a new CFI
 
James331 said:
Yes.
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Disagree. There is a time and a place for a very vigorous and vocal chewing out. I've had my share of that throughout my life, and I didn't quit.

Now, -excessive- yelling, or yelling as a baseline is unacceptable, in my view.
 
OkieAviator said:
It means the CFI can't convey the point in a professional manner. I tend to think of 'yelling' or any frantic type communication as a last ditch effort. Unless it's an emergency yelling should be reserved for taking control of the aircraft and resolving said situation. Then have a discussion about it on the ground. I can't think of any environment where 'yelling' is conducive to learning. Get a new CFI
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Why is yelling automatically frantic?

And I agree with your two situations in which yelling is appropriate.
 
James331 said:
Sorry, but if the CFI is yelling and the student is actually shacking because of him, that's where this story (and the CFIs services) end, this is a non recoverable fault on the part of the CFI.
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I will have to agree with James on this. When a student is afraid of an instructor for any reason, effective transfer of knowledge is not taking place so there is no reason to continue on with that instructor. A good instructor will pay attention to the student and determine what instructing style would be beneficial to the student.

I understand if there are time restraints, but it really does not sound as if angry instructor will finish her up on time.

spiderweb said:
Disagree. There is a time and a place for a very vigorous and vocal chewing out. I've had my share of that throughout my life, and I didn't quit.

Now, -excessive- yelling, or yelling as a baseline is unacceptable, in my view.
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Some instructors use yelling as a teaching style. Not acceptable at any time. And yes, there is a time and place for a stern voice.

Now as I say that, I used to yell at my students at the end of their training, in jest that is. At the end of training, after the flight, I would tell my student in a loud complaining type voice... I am tired of riding with you, it is a waste of my time and there is nothing more I can do for you, I have students that need my time with them. I want you to study this and that and the next time we get together we will do a mock oral, with one more flight to go over everything, then I will schedule you with the examiner.... Usually the response would be nervous laughter as they realize I just told them they are ready for the checkride.
 
I think a few people have missed that this is not primary training. It's INSTRUMENT training. The OP knows how to fly a plane.

And just about every one of us has lost confidence late in the game, due to mind-games. Heck, flying by reference to instruments is FULL of mind-games, and much of the learning is figuring out how to manage those.

Getting behind a hold entry is a classic example, especially if there is a descent at the same time. Who didn't screw that one up during instrument training?

And I think the first experience of getting really behind an airplane can put the fear of God in anyone. The antidote is to plan ahead. It's not natural for a sequential thinker. I think the first time I flew the VOR 19L at KCCR partial panel, I shook the whole time. Not my instructor's fault. I blew it HARD 'cause that approach is complex and unforgiving.

I doubt the "yelling" is helping anything, but I also doubt it's the only variable. Instrument training, done correctly, is stressful at times.
 
OkieAviator said:
Because unless it's a sporting event or you're speaking to a crowd without a microphone it signifies a breakdown in communication.
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Disagree. Yelling is still a form of communicating. It is just louder and more emphatic--and sometimes that's needed.

Should we all petition the military for soft-spoken Drill Sgts? One of my students (for three years) was a former drill sgt. He was the most soft spoken person you could meet, so I was shocked when he told me of his former life. As I remember, and I quote, "sometimes, you just have to yell."
 
I know its not easy...but set some boundaries if he is your only option.

My CFII and I didn't really click and I was getting frustrated but knew I just needed to play his game and stick it out. He had a demeaning way of just asking the same question over and over again trying to get me to figure things out and one day I finally snapped and yelled at him "Look, asking the same f#@king question over and over again is not helping me learn what is in your head!...now try again a different way!"...and from that point on we were perfectly good.

A simple stern but non confrontational "Look, you yelling at me is NOT helping me and is making me more nervous"...is all you need in the moment. He may not have any idea how his tactics...right or wrong...are affecting you.

Now, there SHOULD be certain amount of pressure and stress put on pilots to build confidence so you don't crack under real pressure...but there is a difference between that and just being an asshat in the cockpit. Don't assume that he knows.
 
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Again, if the ONLY approach is yelling, then get a new CFI-I.
 
Since when is yelling an acceptable contribution to CRM? Unless the CFI's life is in danger, there is simply no excuse for yelling in the cockpit environment.

If you have the option, I would recommend finding a different CFI. If you don't have the option, then the heart-to-heart is a good plan, because that CFI needs to understand that yelling at students is not acceptable.

If I had a CFI yell at me, I would fire him/her instantly. Beyond unprofessional.
 
carry a .45 next time and tell him your small firearms instructor told you to use it when you are scared, you practiced it enough times that now its a involuntary muscle reflex
 
Steve Costello said:
If I had a CFI yell at me, I would fire him/her instantly. Beyond unprofessional.
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Meh, I have ben yelled at (and probably warranted)...but I yell back!

As with anything, it is not the method but the intent that is the problem.
 
spiderweb said:
Should we all petition the military for soft-spoken Drill Sgts? One of my students (for three years) was a former drill sgt. He was the most soft spoken person you could meet, so I was shocked when he told me of his former life. As I remember, and I quote, "sometimes, you just have to yell."
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You could probably find several other unique circumstances in which yelling is the norm. Private Pilot training isn't one of them... Unless of course you feel the CFI should break their trainee down in order to rebuild them or wash them out...
 
einepilotin said:
My instructor yells at me the 80 percent of the time we fly. I was fine with it at first since i knew i am still bad at controlling the plane so I kinda thought I deserve. Well i am not still good but .. maybe i am slow learner!! I was being told I am a good pilot from examiner and my former instructors when I was doing PPL.

But now I am feeling like I am really losing the confidence. I am getting really nervous before i go fly with him. My knees are shaking. I am crying almost everytime on the way back home. Lol
I am just worried, my performance is influenced from this nervousness. I make a lot of mistakes with ATC. (Never had problem with this before).. fixated, my feet on the rudder peddal starts shaking lol oh my gosh....

But my shool doesn't offer other options. I have visa expiring soon and got time plans to keep up with for the job. So the best is finishing with him and go home. Any tips please? Honestly this guy is good with teaching.. just the way carrying is it a bit mean.... I know he is trying to help me but i am getting weak :/ How should I survive and stay strong here? :(
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This is not acceptable. Your instructor is probably overworked. You're probably not getting the attention you need to understand fundamental concepts before you get into the airplane. You're probably not getting precise explanations as to what you can do to improve. The end result is a bad training experience.

You either need to find a new instructor or find a new school. If your school is tied to your visa, find another school that can sponsor your visa and go there. There's a saying "Speak with your feet." In other words, tell your flight school that you're dissatisfied by leaving and learning to fly somewhere else.
 
The cockpit is no place for temper tantrums.

Yelling is NOT acceptable. Acceptable behavior in the cockpit should be judged by what is acceptable on the frequency. It is an error for a pilot or ATC personel to "yell", lose temper or otherwise over-emot on the frequency. It is a violation to swear. Ditto instructor. Ditto student. That is the baseline of acceptability. Crossing it is an error. Identify and correct the error. If you can't correct it, well, you can't do the job then can you?

A football coach or a Marine drill sergeant have different standards. In those situations, yelling might be acceptable.

We all have to learn to hold our temper. And the more professional, public and responsible the job, the higher the standard is for staying calm.
 
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MAKG1 said:
No, it isn't.

And your advice is basically to pack it up and go home now. I would think an attempt to solve the problem first would be in order.

And perhaps a bit of analysis. Do you not see the passivity in this post? A student can set bounds short of just giving up.
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If the student wants tell yell back at the cfi then sure I guess but other than a life threatening event there is nothing a student can do to warrant an instructor yelling.
 
My instructors in the military yelled at me and I turned out fine.
:D

The instructor's handbook states that a calm demeanor is one of the positive traits of a good instructor. While "yellling" can be somewhat subjective, it doesn't sound like the OP's instructor is the poster child of CFIs. The CFI is being paid to give you meaningful, constructive critique on your performance. If you're not getting that, ask for another instructor.
 
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I went to a private military school for high school. Nothing worse that putting a 14 year old in charge of a bunch of 12 year olds.

Boot camp was a breeze.
 
Velocity173 said:
My instructors in the military yelled at me and I turned out fine.
:D

The instructor's handbook states that a calm demeanor is one of the positive traits of a good instructor. While "yellling" can be somewhat subjective, it doesn't sound like the OP's instructor is the poster child of CFIs. The CFI is being paid to give you meaningful, constructive critique on your performance. If you're not getting that, ask for another instructor.
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This.
 
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