...I'm not sure what toxic masculinity is,
..
It's a phrase used to demean and indict an entire gender when someone acts more aggressively, boisterously, confidently, or otherwise differently than the person using the phrase would like. Nothing more, nothing less. There is nothing toxic about masculinity... nor femininity... nor anything in between. There is simply inconsiderate, rude, abusive behavior, and no specific gender, ethnicity, or demographic is free from it, nor particularly prone to it. It just takes different forms. As the father of three boys and a retired public school teacher, I have seen enough male-shaming, mistreatment of our boys and young men in school, and favoritism for females in academia that remaining silent about the issue becomes increasingly difficult for me. We are all created equal... but we are not all identical. There are plenty of women who could easily kick my butt, outfight me, out-run me, out-lift me... and I can probably crochet better than most women. However, that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean that the men who enjoy beer, tackle football in muddy fields, and pickup trucks (as do I, all three, and lots of other "toxic" aggressive stuff) should be shamed for being "masculine," nor does it mean that women who enjoy primping, shopping, and quilting should be shamed or made to feel like they are somehow less for not being interested in mechanical engineering. WHO CARES what any indidual of either gender likes to do, whether it's "traditional" or not.
but as a group I think we could probably come up with some wittier and more original than suggesting that a girl must have a lot of testosterone (the presumption that we're supposed to make when someone says that someone has large testicles) when she does something cool and nontraditionally feminine like flying an airplane. I'm sure there are ladies who joke with each other about having big balls for doing daring stuff, but as a group of (mostly) dudes we could probably skip the lame big ball jokes.
It wasn't a joke, it was a sincere compliment. There is simply NO way to take the OP in any way other than that. To think that the OP was asserting that there is no possible way she could have handled the glider incident that well unless she truly did physically posess a pair of unusally large testicles and a higher than normal level of testosterone is just about as warped an interpretation as one could imagine. It's a phrase.. it means calm and fearless in circumstances that would cause panic and fear in most people. We ALL know that. To pretend otherwise is simply fallacious.
AND... what exactly is "nontraditionally feminine?" If that covers everything that ISN'T traditionally feminine (... and... what is that? I mean.. it seems OK to ascribe any manner of negative traits to masculinity... let's see the list for femininity...or is femininity always non-toxic.. sort of like the perfect antidote to the world's ills... maybe that's it.. ), it's a pretty meaningless phrase. Even more meaningless than toxic masculinity.
Suppose the pilot in the video had been equal calm, competent, and of similar attractiveness but male, and a female member of this board had posted "Is he single?" Would anyone even have given that a second thought?.... No?... but... but... I thought we were supposed to be equal... ?
Live well. Be nice. Take no offense to words, because most of the time offense is not intended where you see it. Where it is, the intended offense is only effective if you decide TO take offense. Be kind. Care not what others do or how they choose to live, unless it causes you harm or those whom you are charged to love and care for. The majority of males are genetically disposed to find females attractive, and the majority of females are genetically disposed to find males attractive... is how our species survives, and it's a beautiful thing. Complimenting each other should NOT be so dang difficult.
AND.... this wasn't a "****atorm"... or even a ****storm. More like a slightly smelly belch...
This is the internet, these are written words, and as usual all of this (refering to my writing, not yours) reads much more intense that I mean it to. Let's grab a beer, watch the game, and do some traditionally non-feminine stuff together sometime. We'd probably have a blast.
Cheers!