pilots not playing on a full deck

JHW

JHW

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Location
Peoria, IL
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Display name:
Jeff Wright
We aren't the only ones who mooch off this local farmer's farm strip, there are some other people who keep planes there. One of them is this kindly old man Byron, he looks like he's about 110 years old and he's just as friendly and affable as anyone you might imagine. He flies this little clown plane, it's no brand name I recognize but it looks sort of like a highlander, but a little smaller and with a VW direct drive engine.

This guy does a great job of flying the airplane, I've been amazed at some of the places I've seen him get in and out of with so little power.

But I often wonder what's going on upstairs.


Some nuggets of wisdom he's shared, in a dead serious I'm-gonna-help-you-learn-from-my-mistakes-kid sort of way, quote:
  • Don't ever turn the prop backwards by hand, 'cause the piston rings have right hand threads and they might come loose. Unless it's a VW engine like mine where the rings have left hand threads. If you ever see a new engine burning oil it's cause someone loosened the rings. After awhile the rings get carboned up and then they can't turn in the threads, that's called "breaking in" the engine.
  • Don't ever make a turn to the upwind when flying over a river running the other way, the turbulence from the air going over the water can break your wings.
  • Mice hate yellow, If you're going to let the kids eat M&M's in the plane then only let them have the other colors, that way if they drop one it won't attract vermin. Oh and that's why my plane is white but it has yellow gear legs. I've got a can of yellow paint if you want to do yours.
  • Commented when he saw me doing a freshwater wash on the king air engines: Good move, most blokes don't know that the government smuggles dope dissolved in jet fuel and they never quite get it all out, what's left winds up caked in those turbine motors. Since you're a yank I see you know what to do cause all yanks are potheads.
So Byron is always entertaining, and his heart's always in the right place. He knows my youngest daughter loves geology so he's always telling us interesting rock formations to fly over or 4X4 to. And he recently heard one of the girls talking about how much she likes birds.

With all that, I wasn't surprised at all when I stopped by the farm this evening and found a note taped to the nose of the airplane, with something else he thought my kids would like to see. As soon as I wiped the tears away from laughing so hard, I had to drop it on the scanner and share:
 

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You just follow the river for a mile, make a right at the tree, a left at the rock, and he's right there circling over the snake ;)
 
He is right, that bird is as big as an airport:D
 
I hope I live long enough to say any crazy old thing and have people think I'm cute.

Going non-PC commando is one of the only consolations of growing old to look forward to....
 
txflyer said:
I hope I live long enough to say any crazy old thing and have people think I'm cute.

Going non-PC commando is one of the only consolations of growing old to look forward to....
Click to expand...

There's a gent here at work, late 60's, could easily retire, but has a unique skill set, is very talented, and likes the job. He now pretty much says anything he wants, even in front of HR types. He never totally crosses the border but gets 9 toes across regularly. He cracks us up. :lol:

"What are they going to do, fire me? Bring it on" he says.:rofl:
 
Sounds like my grandmother who would do things about extolling upon the importance of eating sufficient hydrocarbons. She also swore up and down about mystery oil for any sort of engine (car, lawnmower, whatever). As a teen, I inherited her car, a 1968 Ford LTD. Trying to get the thing running right I went to the auto parts store and found out there really was such a thing as Mystery Oil (this was way before I started flying). I bought a can and put it both in the gas and the crankcase. Figured it couldn't hurt and it belonged in this car.
 
txflyer said:
I hope I live long enough to say any crazy old thing and have people think I'm cute.



Going non-PC commando is one of the only consolations of growing old to look forward to....
Click to expand...


Why wait? You only live once.
 
I'd like to fly in and meet him. Is he the guy who taught you to say "playing on a full deck" ? Cute. I'd never heard that before. I suppose it means like on a fully planked porch or something. I'd always heard "playing with a full deck" as in having all 52 cards. Well, I'm an old farmer, too, and don't get around so this is a new saying to me. :)
 
Bill Jennings said:
There's a gent here at work, late 60's, could easily retire, but has a unique skill set, is very talented, and likes the job. He now pretty much says anything he wants, even in front of HR types. He never totally crosses the border but gets 9 toes across regularly. He cracks us up. :lol:

"What are they going to do, fire me? Bring it on" he says.:rofl:
Click to expand...

Non-aviation story of a similar guy, a childhood friend. Those of you in snow country have likely been familiar with the FISHER SNOW PLOW products. It's a fabulously successful company started in a little machine shop in Rockland, Maine, product marketed throughout the U.S.

A friend of mine was a lathe operator for Mr. Fisher. David was a cracker-jack machinist, having been home taught by his father, a former Pratt-Whitney machinist. When we were in grade school Dave had designed, machined, and built a handgun; and with it picked up spending money from the bounties on porcupines he killed with it.

So one day Mr. Fisher was walking through his factory. Dave said to him, "When are you going to buy me a decent lathe?"

"What's the matter, boy? Can't you handle it?"

"Oh, I can handle IT; IT just can't handle what I can put through it."
Mr. Fisher harrumphed and walked on. An adjacent technician commented, "Are you crazy, man? He owns this place!"

"He can't no more than fire me, can he?" Well, a couple weeks passed. One day a very large shipping crate arrived. The content was wheeled into the shop on a fork lift truck. New lathe - large; guess who was assigned to it.

HR
 
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Bill Jennings said:
There's a gent here at work, late 60's, could easily retire, but has a unique skill set, is very talented, and likes the job. He now pretty much says anything he wants, even in front of HR types. He never totally crosses the border but gets 9 toes across regularly. He cracks us up. :lol:

"What are they going to do, fire me? Bring it on" he says.:rofl:
Click to expand...

As one who is going to retire soon I find myself worrying less and less about the office politics or what my boss's boss's boss thinks. Very liberating. :D
 
Well you have to admit that if you NEVER make a turn to the upwind when flying over a river running the other way, your wings will never break off on account of doing it.
 
Sounds like a cool dude.

It's the uptight trying to be "normal" types that freak me out.
 
Ghery said:
As one who is going to retire soon I find myself worrying less and less about the office politics or what my boss's boss's boss thinks. Very liberating. :D
Click to expand...
Same here, Except I am the boss!

But I find myself a little bit like Tom-D. I can't find it in myself to meekly put up with demanding or idiot customers any more. I finally said something to a customer the other day that I have wanted to say for years.

A new client came in with an emaciated flea-anemic cat. It needed a whole lot of work, but the guy had very little money. We agreed to do over $900 worth of work for the $250 that he had, but we wanted the money in advance. he got on his high horse and started loudly complaining in front of all the other clients that "We don't care about animals, we only care about MONEY". (I hear this all the time from people that expect free service). I finally told him:

"You sir are wrong, and to prove it, I will refuse to take any of your money, or your business. Good Bye! You can go find another veterinarian that doesn't care about money. But here's a hint: There aren't many because they go out of business soon".

My only regret was for the cat so we applied a free dose of flea product and gave the guy a couple of cans of good quality cat food.
 
JOhnH said:
Same here, Except I am the boss!

But I find myself a little bit like Tom-D. I can't find it in myself to meekly put up with demanding or idiot customers any more. I finally said something to a customer the other day that I have wanted to say for years.

A new client came in with an emaciated flea-anemic cat. It needed a whole lot of work, but the guy had very little money. We agreed to do over $900 worth of work for the $250 that he had, but we wanted the money in advance. he got on his high horse and started loudly complaining in front of all the other clients that "We don't care about animals, we only care about MONEY". (I hear this all the time from people that expect free service). I finally told him:

"You sir are wrong, and to prove it, I will refuse to take any of your money, or your business. Good Bye! You can go find another veterinarian that doesn't care about money. But here's a hint: There aren't many because they go out of business soon".

My only regret was for the cat so we applied a free dose of flea product and gave the guy a couple of cans of good quality cat food.
Click to expand...


I guess this thread is officially hijacked. Nice job. I couldn't have replied better.

I too am beginning to see retirement over the horizon. I keep telling my staff that on my last day, I'm going to schedule only patients that habitually no-show for appointments and then *I* won't show up. Of course it will only have the desired effect if *they* show up.

The other thing I am still able to catch myself from saying is a reply to patients saying things like "no offense, but I really hate dentists". Some day....SOMEDAY I'm going to say,"Well, no offense, but I really hate people who say that"
 
JHW said:
  • Mice hate yellow, If you're going to let the kids eat M&M's in the plane then only let them have the other colors, that way if they drop one it won't attract vermin.
Click to expand...

I like this a lot. His thinking has a lot of depth. He's considered not just the threat of mice, but how a mouse thinks and what it hates. Beyond that, what pilots do (bring kids as passengers), and what kids do (eat candy), and then the unintended consequences of all this behavior, and how it brings you back to the original thought.

One thing leads to another so beautifully here. It reminds me of this booK:

If_you_Give_a_Mouse_a_Cookie.jpg
 
JHW said:
  • Mice hate yellow, If you're going to let the kids eat M&M's in the plane then only let them have the other colors, that way if they drop one it won't attract vermin. Oh and that's why my plane is white but it has yellow gear legs. I've got a can of yellow paint if you want to do yours.
Click to expand...
If mice hate yellow M&Ms, shouldn't you let the kids eat only the yellow ones?
 
I was wondering that too.
 
Say, I thought you were in Australia and not Arkansas.. I'll look for you and the king air next time I'm out with our local "old kooke"
 
Bill Jennings said:
There's a gent here at work, late 60's, could easily retire, but has a unique skill set, is very talented, and likes the job. He now pretty much says anything he wants, even in front of HR types. He never totally crosses the border but gets 9 toes across regularly. He cracks us up. :lol:

"What are they going to do, fire me? Bring it on" he says.:rofl:
Click to expand...

Same situation here and to ad on... some of his stuff would bring HR in for sexual harassment coming from anyone else.. Sometimes I just turn around and walk away pretending I didn't here what he just said...

But here is the odd part, the women love him, they usually bring him coffee and stuff, and take notice when he is not there... Where is Tim today... is Tim sick, anyone heard from Tim.... Hope he is OK...

He must have been hell on wheels back in the day
 
NoHeat said:
I like this a lot. His thinking has a lot of depth. He's considered not just the threat of mice, but how a mouse thinks and what it hates. Beyond that, what pilots do (bring kids as passengers), and what kids do (eat candy), and then the unintended consequences of all this behavior, and how it brings you back to the original thought.

One thing leads to another so beautifully here. It reminds me of this booK:

If_you_Give_a_Mouse_a_Cookie.jpg
Click to expand...

My kids loved all the "If You Give a ..." books. I realized early on that these are nothing more than software development cycles disguised as children's books. I emailed the author exactly that. She replied with a strong chuckle.
 
Lawreston said:
Non-aviation story of a similar guy, a childhood friend. Those of you in snow country have likely been familiar with the FISHER SNOW PLOW products. It's a fabulously successful company started in a little machine shop in Rockland, Maine, product marketed throughout the U.S.

A friend of mine was a lathe operator for Mr. Fisher. David was a cracker-jack machinist, having been home taught by his father, a former Pratt-Whitney machinist. When we were in grade school Dave had designed, machined, and built a handgun; and with it picked up spending money from the bounties on porcupines he killed with it.

So one day Mr. Fisher was walking through his factory. Dave said to him, "When are you going to buy me a decent lathe?"

"What's the matter, boy? Can't you handle it?"

"Oh, I can handle IT; IT just can't handle what I can put through it."
Mr. Fisher harrumphed and walked on. An adjacent technician commented, "Are you crazy, man? He owns this place!"

"He can't no more than fire me, can he?" Well, a couple weeks passed. One day a very large shipping crate arrived. The content was wheeled into the shop on a fork lift truck. New lathe - large; guess who was assigned to it.

HR
Click to expand...

Holy crap, another person from Maine on PoA. It's a miracle.

</off-topic>
 
You are supposed to retire from teaching at 65. I'm 71 and I have a deal with my department chair. When the first student walks into his office WITH REASON to say, "that old fart doesn't know what he is talking about" I will retire. Until then the little b@$+@rds are going to have to put up with me.

Jim
 
NoHeat said:
I like this a lot. His thinking has a lot of depth. He's considered not just the threat of mice, but how a mouse thinks and what it hates. Beyond that, what pilots do (bring kids as passengers), and what kids do (eat candy), and then the unintended consequences of all this behavior, and how it brings you back to the original thought.

One thing leads to another so beautifully here. It reminds me of this booK:
Click to expand...
Mice here in tasmania aren't so cute and cuddly. Here's a picture of one found dead in our garden, with a soda can for size reference. I don't know what kind of M&M's he likes, and I don't want to know.

attachment.php
 

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Dang, that's one ugly mouse.

You don't want that nesting in your plane, that's for sure!
 
why old men don't get hired ...

Old-man-photo-by-Ahmet-Demirel.jpg


Job Interview:

Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

Old Man : "Honesty."

Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."

Old Man : "I don't really give a **** what you think." :happydance:
 
Re: why old men don't get hired ...

txflyer said:
Job Interview:

Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

Old Man : "Honesty."

Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."

Old Man : "I don't really give a **** what you think." :happydance:
Click to expand...

Must have been listening to my last conversation with HR...
 
Ask him if you need to add airspeed when landing with a tailwind.

Is OK to run the engine oversquare?
 
We have an older guy, probably about 80, that does and says what he wants.

Everyone at the field knows when ever he is out/inbound to just get out of his way. Nothing dangerous, it just makes thing go easier.

He always asks for help fueling his aircraft after every flight. The locals know that he doesn't much care for African Americans. Last time a guy tried to help he got ran off with the old man yelling the N word.

He is a hoot to talk with, but you also have to give him a grain of salt with everything he says.
 
I hope I live long enough to be old and crazy, for now I am just crazy
 
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