Overcoming extreme nervous/irrational fears

[CerroTorre]

I figured that's a given. And I guess the question I would then ask, is "how do you KNOW"? Maybe I'm one of those it "isn't for".

But I WANT this. I've wanted it for 30+ years now. Reading most of the posts in this thread has helped a lot. My flight with the other instructor got pushed a week because of storms.

I just need to keep telling myself "I can do it" and rely on the CFI to bail me out if (he thinks it's) needed.

I do thank you all for your responses.

Sam, I think you've gotten a lot of great, practical advice here. And it sounds like you're taking it to heart. That's great.

My take is more out of left field. WAY more out of left field. And I'll probably be accused of some pretty out-there, hooblee-wooblee hippy s**t. But I LOVE this discussion so just bear with me. Maybe something in this will be useful. =) I work in an industry where, on a regular basis, I have to help many of my clients work through some very intense (rational and irrational) fear. So the discussion around the concept of fear and how it enables and limits us is a constant part of the conversation with some folks. The interesting thing is that our ability to "succeed" has more to do with how intensely we judge ourselves for our fear than it has to do with the fear itself. It's a pretty fine distinction but an important one.

Fear is an important emotional response to some kind of stimuli. It's there for a reason. Your fear of flight, specifically landing, is (mostly) an entirely rational thing. We aren't evolved to fly. It's unnatural and kinda freaky. =) And in our culture we are taught that fear is "bad" and we should avoid it. Don't admit to it and don't accept it as valid or worthwhile and even beneficial. I'd challenge you to try something. On your next flight don't "pull back" or tense up physically when you feel fearful. Consciously relax and breathe slowly and (most importantly) be open to the emotional response of fear. Practice being entirely open to the fear. As messed up as it may sound, literally visualize specifically what you are fearful of. Walk through it mentally - step by step. In detail. Entirely non-judgemental of what you are imagining.

An interesting thing happens when you are THAT open and accepting of whatever your fears of telling you. You gain an ability to rationally "see" what is causing your fear response. That's a HUGE deal because it helps you to classify it and "put it" where it belongs - in the rational or irrational category. Not being judgmental of your fear, not avoiding it, and allowing yourself to experience it and make open minded decisions while seeing it as just one more, interesting piece of data - can be incredibly useful.

Good luck! And let yourself just enjoy the process of learning something completely new and wild and way "out there" for you.

 

[Half Fast]

@Sam Gordon , in your original post you wrote:

"Landings are absolutely terrible. Out of my 7-10 attempts, I have put two "on the ground" (calling them 'landings' would be a stretch),...."​

If it helps you to put this into perspective, it took me about ten times that number of landings before mine started getting decent. I finished off a Sport certificate and then later a Private certificate. Cut yourself a little slack. It may take you a while to get this, but that's okay. Be patient with yourself.

And FWIW, landings never "clicked" for me, where all of a sudden I got it. Instead, it was just slow improvement until they became good.

 

[DogoPilot]

I have a little over 250 hours, an instrument rating, and I've flown more in the last 2-3 years than I have in the previous 8 years combined... I'd say 1/3 of my landings are greasers and the rest are fine but not terribly pretty, in my opinion. Moral of the story is, stick with it and realize that it's simply pretty challenging to land an airplane well, especially considering that conditions are always changing and no two landings are ever identical.

As to whether or not somebody is cut out for flying, I'd say it just comes down to how badly you want it. If you have passion and go out of your way to learn as much as possible, then I'd say you're cut out for it. If not, then maybe not. You've got to want it, otherwise you're doing yourself and your future passengers a huge disservice.

Regarding the use of a simulator, I personally think they are very helpful with the caveat that you have the ability to immerse yourself in it to the point where it feels real. This takes a lot of time and for some people it is probably counterproductive so I tend to agree with the many people who say simulators aren't very helpful for student pilots, even though I have a few thousand hours in them and that experience was incredibly helpful for me when learning to fly.

 

[Ed Haywood]

Your anxiety is pushing you too far right on the stress performance curve. You cannot master complex tasks like landing in that condition.

Fortunately the cure is pretty simple: repetition. Your CFI should have you banging out touch-and-goes in the pattern until your nervousness goes away and it becomes routine.

 

[Sam Gordon]

So an update...

At the lesson with the "sub" CFI... we do a briefing, preflight, climb into the plane, start it up, and as it's time to taxi, my nerves kick in. He has me take off, and I realize it was WAY too smooth. "Did you help me?" Just a little he says. We do some slow flight, then head back. He handles the landing once we get to base because there's a bit of crosswind.

Another week goes by and I'm scheduled with my CFI yesterday. Something tells me to check the schedule, and I see the plane we're supposed to fly is down for maintenance and the others are booked. We text and cancel. 30 minutes later, the maintenance is complete so we plan to go. We meet up, start doing preflight and the right fuel tank isn't indicating anything (there's 15 gallons in the tank). He calls the maintenance guy, shakes the wings, but still no luck. He looks at the schedule and one of the other planes was available, so we take it.

I do the complete take off, probably my best one yet (not totally smooth, but much better than what I've been doing). We do some power on stalls and simulated pattern work in the practice area then head for one of the nearby uncontrolled airports. I don't do very well getting into the pattern, so he ends up getting me to the 45 and we start pattern work. I wish I could take notes on how things went, in what order, but I know we did the following:
1) He did a touch & go
2) I did a full stop (swerving to the right once on the ground).
3) I did a go around.
4) I did a full stop (started to swerve and he took over)
5) I did a full stop (swerved but was able to recover)

Then we headed back to home base. I landed there and again started to swerve but recovered.

None of my landings were great, there's of course a lot more to work on. Although I was a little nervous, it was NOTHING like what I've experienced in the past. I don't know why, but I'll take it.

 

[woodchucker]

Just commenting on your last post about taking notes, I audio recorded almost every lesson when working on my ppl. It was very helpful. Bought a digital voice recorder and a pigtail to connect to the headset and you can go back after the lesson and listen to it all again. I also listened to the audio while re-flying the lesson in the sim at home. Again. Super helpful.

Not sure about takeoffs ... why smooth or not smooth. Note the ball position on the ground and apply right rudder to keep that same ball position after takeoff. Sometimes there are wind gusts or bumps. In the small planes us students fly those tend to show up. No big deal.

 

[AirHare]

None of my landings were great, there's of course a lot more to work on. Although I was a little nervous, it was NOTHING like what I've experienced in the past.

At this stage of the game, your landings aren't supposed to be great. With where you're at in training, as long as you don't break the plane it's a good landing and what you should be expecting of yourself right now. Refinement will come with practice. And remember, even the 10,000+ hour airline pilots regularly have landings they're not proud of.

As to the difference of attitude, time away can help. I've had all sorts of things interfere with my flight training thus far. Each time I get into the cockpit after I've been away for awhile there's things I've forgotten, yet things I'm miraculously better at.

Glad to hear the update! Keep it up.

 

[Tango]

So I'm just under 10 hours into my PPL, and am having a problem that neither I nor my CFI have ideas on how to solve... I get extremely nervous at take off and landing (landings being the worst).

I've taken off 4-5 times, of which 2 have been "acceptable". I have a hard time staying on the center line (drifting left) and maintaining RH after lift off (again, drifting left).

Landings are absolutely terrible. Out of my 7-10 attempts, I have put two "on the ground" (calling them 'landings' would be a stretch), only one of which I accomplished the rollout. Once I get turned onto final, I have a hard time getting lined up appropriately. I know I'm not lined up, and end up over correcting (first one direction, then the other).

My CFI and I talked about it on the ground after one failed attempt, and I think I just have a fear of messing up so bad, I'm going to "break" the airplane. The CFI says he won't let that happen, and I believe him, but just hit a block the last 200-300 feet. He asked what I've done in the past to get over this kind of fear, but I haven't really faced anything that could truly be dangerous if I screw up (since I learned to drive 35+ years ago).

CFI will take me through a "normal" approach and he makes it look so easy and smooth, so I understand what it SHOULD look like, but can't associate it when I have the controls.

The CFI said he's not ready to give up on me, provided I'm not ready to give up on myself. I'd be lying if I said I haven't had doubts. I've told myself and my wife I'm going to give it another 10 hours and if there's no improvement (I don't expect perfect, I just want to see some improvement/confidence building), I may have to.

I'm debating investing in a flight sim system (with yoke, rudder pedals, and throttle quadrant) simply to build up my confidence, but I don't know if that will help.

My next lesson is with another flight instructor out of town (at Sporty's) so maybe he'll see something to help.

If you've read all of this, it's appreciated. I've debated about posting this, but didn't know who else I could share with who MAY understand what I'm going through.

 

[Tango]

So I'm just under 10 hours into my PPL, and am having a problem that neither I nor my CFI have ideas on how to solve... I get extremely nervous at take off and landing (landings being the worst).

I've taken off 4-5 times, of which 2 have been "acceptable". I have a hard time staying on the center line (drifting left) and maintaining RH after lift off (again, drifting left).

Landings are absolutely terrible. Out of my 7-10 attempts, I have put two "on the ground" (calling them 'landings' would be a stretch), only one of which I accomplished the rollout. Once I get turned onto final, I have a hard time getting lined up appropriately. I know I'm not lined up, and end up over correcting (first one direction, then the other).

My CFI and I talked about it on the ground after one failed attempt, and I think I just have a fear of messing up so bad, I'm going to "break" the airplane. The CFI says he won't let that happen, and I believe him, but just hit a block the last 200-300 feet. He asked what I've done in the past to get over this kind of fear, but I haven't really faced anything that could truly be dangerous if I screw up (since I learned to drive 35+ years ago).

CFI will take me through a "normal" approach and he makes it look so easy and smooth, so I understand what it SHOULD look like, but can't associate it when I have the controls.

The CFI said he's not ready to give up on me, provided I'm not ready to give up on myself. I'd be lying if I said I haven't had doubts. I've told myself and my wife I'm going to give it another 10 hours and if there's no improvement (I don't expect perfect, I just want to see some improvement/confidence building), I may have to.

I'm debating investing in a flight sim system (with yoke, rudder pedals, and throttle quadrant) simply to build up my confidence, but I don't know if that will help.

My next lesson is with another flight instructor out of town (at Sporty's) so maybe he'll see something to help.

If you've read all of this, it's appreciated. I've debated about posting this, but didn't know who else I could share with who MAY understand what I'm going through.

I have had the same issues… Just took a lot of time to overcome the fear

 

[Sudburian]

I'm just a student pilot like you, but I can still offer this: other skills and hobbies I've pursued have taught me that the process of acquiring any skill that takes many years to master very often makes you feel exactly this way. It's normal, so I urge some more patience as others have.

In your adult years, have you ever learned how to play a musical instrument? Learned a foreign language? Acquired a professional and/or work-related expertise? Or anything else in such categories? As a French-speaking, banjo-playing trial lawyer, I've lost count of how many times I wanted to conclude, "There is no way in hell I can [read this entire book] [learn this song] [cross-examine this slippery witness in front of a live jury]." But like everyone else who does those things well, I just plowed forward, failures and slip-ups and all. With time and practice the failures melted away.

 

[TommyG]

So an update...

At the lesson with the "sub" CFI... we do a briefing, preflight, climb into the plane, start it up, and as it's time to taxi, my nerves kick in. He has me take off, and I realize it was WAY too smooth. "Did you help me?" Just a little he says. We do some slow flight, then head back. He handles the landing once we get to base because there's a bit of crosswind.

Another week goes by and I'm scheduled with my CFI yesterday. Something tells me to check the schedule, and I see the plane we're supposed to fly is down for maintenance and the others are booked. We text and cancel. 30 minutes later, the maintenance is complete so we plan to go. We meet up, start doing preflight and the right fuel tank isn't indicating anything (there's 15 gallons in the tank). He calls the maintenance guy, shakes the wings, but still no luck. He looks at the schedule and one of the other planes was available, so we take it.

I do the complete take off, probably my best one yet (not totally smooth, but much better than what I've been doing). We do some power on stalls and simulated pattern work in the practice area then head for one of the nearby uncontrolled airports. I don't do very well getting into the pattern, so he ends up getting me to the 45 and we start pattern work. I wish I could take notes on how things went, in what order, but I know we did the following:
1) He did a touch & go
2) I did a full stop (swerving to the right once on the ground).
3) I did a go around.
4) I did a full stop (started to swerve and he took over)
5) I did a full stop (swerved but was able to recover)

Then we headed back to home base. I landed there and again started to swerve but recovered.

None of my landings were great, there's of course a lot more to work on. Although I was a little nervous, it was NOTHING like what I've experienced in the past. I don't know why, but I'll take it.

Are your heels on the floor when landing, or fully on the rudder pedal? You are over controlling or under controlling the rudders depending on the x wind.

 

[BryanAV8R]

Sometimes with the stress and pressure of training, the joy of flight is lost. I'm glad you have maintained it. Occasionally, I'll glance out at the top of my wing, forget the physics, and just let myself be amazed.

Bingo. We forget this is supposed to be fun! As I was nearing the end of my PVT training back in '88...our 141 school had 2 practice areas defined (A & B); A was if you took off to the west, B if to the east. But, as long as your CFI knew which one you were going to be in, he/she (I had both) was fine in signing your solo permission slip regardless of which rwy was in use. Yeah, go and practice MCA, stalls, ground reference (that took about 30 minutes), the rest of the time was sightseeing and just enjoying the sensation of being at the controls of the mighty 152 and imagining expeditions to aerodromes far beyond the geographic confines of the practice areas.

 

[Gary Ward]

So I'm just under 10 hours into my PPL, and am having a problem that neither I nor my CFI have ideas on how to solve... I get extremely nervous at take off and landing (landings being the worst).

I've taken off 4-5 times, of which 2 have been "acceptable". I have a hard time staying on the center line (drifting left) and maintaining RH after lift off (again, drifting left).

Landings are absolutely terrible. Out of my 7-10 attempts, I have put two "on the ground" (calling them 'landings' would be a stretch), only one of which I accomplished the rollout. Once I get turned onto final, I have a hard time getting lined up appropriately. I know I'm not lined up, and end up over correcting (first one direction, then the other).

My CFI and I talked about it on the ground after one failed attempt, and I think I just have a fear of messing up so bad, I'm going to "break" the airplane. The CFI says he won't let that happen, and I believe him, but just hit a block the last 200-300 feet. He asked what I've done in the past to get over this kind of fear, but I haven't really faced anything that could truly be dangerous if I screw up (since I learned to drive 35+ years ago).

CFI will take me through a "normal" approach and he makes it look so easy and smooth, so I understand what it SHOULD look like, but can't associate it when I have the controls.

The CFI said he's not ready to give up on me, provided I'm not ready to give up on myself. I'd be lying if I said I haven't had doubts. I've told myself and my wife I'm going to give it another 10 hours and if there's no improvement (I don't expect perfect, I just want to see some improvement/confidence building), I may have to.

I'm debating investing in a flight sim system (with yoke, rudder pedals, and throttle quadrant) simply to build up my confidence, but I don't know if that will help.

My next lesson is with another flight instructor out of town (at Sporty's) so maybe he'll see something to help.

If you've read all of this, it's appreciated. I've debated about posting this, but didn't know who else I could share with who MAY understand what I'm going through.

You are not alone.
Don't give up, 10 hours is nothing. I experienced the same thing. We spent many many days and hours just flying the pattern when I was learning. It helped me when I flew with a different instructor occasionally.

I added up how many landings I did before I took my PPL checkride...309!! I also was feeling air sick when I first started training, I did not learn a thing when I was feeling sick. My instructor was really patience and I bet frustrated with me. It took me 15 months and about 95 hours to pass my checkride. I was a slow older student. My instructor correctly predicted with enough time I would get better. Now 6 years later I can land my fair share of greasers. Luckily I learned to land in a school plane and not my own!! lol

 

[Southpaw]

You are not alone.
Don't give up, 10 hours is nothing. I experienced the same thing. We spent many many days and hours just flying the pattern when I was learning. It helped me when I flew with a different instructor occasionally.

I added up how many landings I did before I took my PPL checkride...309!! I also was feeling air sick when I first started training, I did not learn a thing when I was feeling sick. My instructor was really patience and I bet frustrated with me. It took me 15 months and about 95 hours to pass my checkride. I was a slow older student. My instructor correctly predicted with enough time I would get better. Now 6 years later I can land my fair share of greasers. Luckily I learned to land in a school plane and not my own!! lol

Just made my 339th landing today . Hard wind made it interesting . Still a student "Learner" 3 early morning landings in near calm winds. After an hour of flight , 4 with 15 to 20 mph gusting , smoke bad , but the plane is reusable with out repair.
Instructor was glad it is my own airplane not his doing the learning .

Its coming together now at 98 hours total with 47.4 solo.

 

[David Megginson]

I used to get stressed in turbulence; now I just get stupid.

After an hour or two of bouncing around, even though I've been relaxed and enjoying the flight, I find my mental skills deteriorating (forgetting to change a frequency, almost failing to descend below a controlled-airspace shelf, etc).

Fortunately, my physical skills like maintaining heading and altitude, landing, etc aren't affected by the bumps.

I guess my brain just doesn't like being bounced around. After 19 years, I'm not expecting any further improvement.

 

[rugger1869]

Good advice here. Some of us during training were anxious for different things. I was never anxious about landings - I looked forward to them and pushed myself to get better and better. For me and this went on quite a while, even after I got my PPL, I was anxious about getting in the airplane to begin with. I would talk myself out of a flight for various reasons, wind, thermals (I'm in Arizona) whatever. It took a few flights where I ran into un-forecasted cross winds where I had no choice but to land or running into turbulence that I had no choice but to just bounce around and hold on to put things into perspective. There's a saying that calm wind doesn't make a good sailor and it works with airplanes as well. We've all been there, you'll get there. It takes time and like someone said above, it isn't a race. There is no prize for getting your ticket in the shortest possible time.

I'm actually wanting to get back into training after two years off and this is some of the best advice I've seen on here. I HATE power-on stalls... I get how they work, I know why we do them, and I know I'm not gonna fall out of the sky, but ever since I spun the plane inadvertently... I have been gun-shy about them. But, as you say, it's not a race and one has to work to get through those things that cause discomfort to find other more uncomfortable things. That's how we learn.

 

[RRAT]

So I'm just under 10 hours into my PPL, and am having a problem that neither I nor my CFI have ideas on how to solve... I get extremely nervous at take off and landing (landings being the worst).

I've taken off 4-5 times, of which 2 have been "acceptable". I have a hard time staying on the center line (drifting left) and maintaining RH after lift off (again, drifting left).

Landings are absolutely terrible. Out of my 7-10 attempts, I have put two "on the ground" (calling them 'landings' would be a stretch), only one of which I accomplished the rollout. Once I get turned onto final, I have a hard time getting lined up appropriately. I know I'm not lined up, and end up over correcting (first one direction, then the other).

My CFI and I talked about it on the ground after one failed attempt, and I think I just have a fear of messing up so bad, I'm going to "break" the airplane. The CFI says he won't let that happen, and I believe him, but just hit a block the last 200-300 feet. He asked what I've done in the past to get over this kind of fear, but I haven't really faced anything that could truly be dangerous if I screw up (since I learned to drive 35+ years ago).

CFI will take me through a "normal" approach and he makes it look so easy and smooth, so I understand what it SHOULD look like, but can't associate it when I have the controls.

The CFI said he's not ready to give up on me, provided I'm not ready to give up on myself. I'd be lying if I said I haven't had doubts. I've told myself and my wife I'm going to give it another 10 hours and if there's no improvement (I don't expect perfect, I just want to see some improvement/confidence building), I may have to.

I'm debating investing in a flight sim system (with yoke, rudder pedals, and throttle quadrant) simply to build up my confidence, but I don't know if that will help.

My next lesson is with another flight instructor out of town (at Sporty's) so maybe he'll see something to help.

If you've read all of this, it's appreciated. I've debated about posting this, but didn't know who else I could share with who MAY understand what I'm going through.

Are you sure your anxiety is related to the flying? I feel really anxious about flight lessons. As I got more experience, my anxiety got worse. About the time I solo'd, I also got my own airplane flying and airworthy (I was restoring one). I discovered flying in my own plane without an instructor was great fun. I wasn't anxious about flying, I was anxious about damaging someone elses airplane, and about having someone in the right seat continually evaluating my progress. I love flying. I still hate lessons.

 

[Sam Gordon]

Are you sure your anxiety is related to the flying? I feel really anxious about flight lessons. As I got more experience, my anxiety got worse. About the time I solo'd, I also got my own airplane flying and airworthy (I was restoring one). I discovered flying in my own plane without an instructor was great fun. I wasn't anxious about flying, I was anxious about damaging someone elses airplane, and about having someone in the right seat continually evaluating my progress. I love flying. I still hate lessons.

My anxiety was tied (I think) to "don't screw this up, you don't want to damage the plane, you don't want to injure anyone". That being said, I'm now at over 30 hours and almost 70 landings (8 night). I can't say I'm 100% at ease, but I don't suffer the debilitating nerves like I used to. I'm now having fun in my lessons. I did change instructors. The one I was working with had to go out of pocket for over a month and suggested a temporary replacement. He made the lessons "fun". When the original CFI returned, I said I'd like to keep both of them, he said that's not a good idea (I understood), so I stayed with the one I was having fun with. Just two different styles. FWIW, I haven't soloed yet because I'm still waiting on my medical to come back (long story). But the current CFI said he would have had me solo weeks ago.

 

[Ed Haywood]

Different people are stressed by different things (says Captain Obvious).

I fly aerobatics. Some maneuvers point the nose straight down at the ground, dead vertical with full power, hold it there for 2 seconds, and pull out at 5G. Other times I am flying right at stall speed while inverted at full power, or intentionally spinning at 2500 AGL. None of this stresses me. In fact, when I'm not doing it, I daydream about doing it.

But talking to ATC fills me with dread. I have flown 4 hour XC trips trying to work up the nerve to call flight following. I have gone out of my way to avoid a fuel stop at a Class D airport.

The opposite of anxiety is confidence, and the path to confidence is practice and repetition.

 

[Crashnburn]

A lot of good advice on here. I haven't read the second page, but probably should. I saw a post another thread by a CFI who said, essentially, "It's neither talent, nor skill that determines whether or not you learn to fly. It's perseverance, and determination."

Don't worry about having problems landing after 10 hours. I spent about 20 hours doing air work in a Citabria before I got to the pattern, and later people said that was sooner than most made it to the pattern.

I'm still a student pilot. I restarted lessons this past summer, and was going great guns until a family emergency happened and my time is better spent with my wife than airplanes. My last flight was a 1.5 hour lesson, but I got tired after an hour, and my landings went to shiz. I couldn't tell I was tired because my adrenaline level was so high (from the excitement of being in the air). My instructor essentially said I had as much endurance as 50 hour pilots after about 15 hours of flying with him, so I'm ahead of the game, there.

I did well enough at air work, that he tried getting me in the pattern a little early, but that didn't work out, so I did air work for another hour, and the landings improved. My instructor aborted my last landing attempt because I rounded out way too high. What helped me before when that happened was what other people have recommended - try to fly as slowly and as close to the runway as possible, without touching it.

My training airplane is an Evektor Sportstar Max. It has a stick. I have a tendency to pull it to the left (the hand I hold it with) when landing. I decided my next lesson, I'll try pulling to the right when I flare, and if I'm lucky, that will compensate for trying to pull to the left.

Finally, as you get more hours, things will start to slow down for you, as your muscle memory takes over. It just takes a lot of time to train your muscles. I played a lot of volleyball years ago, and was never close to a superstar. Still, I enjoyed it. I remember playing back row defense when a powerful player spiked the ball at a point in front of me. I probably made the best dig of my life, and I didn't know I was digging the ball until it was headed to the setter. (I think I was more surprised than the coach). That's what muscle memory can do for you. (Just make sure you teach your muscles the right things!)

 

[Half Fast]

I have a tendency to pull it to the left (the hand I hold it with) when landing.

I had the exact same problem. Then a new CFI noticed I was resting my left elbow on the door, so when I pulled back on the stick I was curling my left wrist and causing a left bank. Once I picked up my arm, I started landing on center.

 

[mandm]

So an update...

At the lesson with the "sub" CFI... we do a briefing, preflight, climb into the plane, start it up, and as it's time to taxi, my nerves kick in. He has me take off, and I realize it was WAY too smooth. "Did you help me?" Just a little he says. We do some slow flight, then head back. He handles the landing once we get to base because there's a bit of crosswind.

Another week goes by and I'm scheduled with my CFI yesterday. Something tells me to check the schedule, and I see the plane we're supposed to fly is down for maintenance and the others are booked. We text and cancel. 30 minutes later, the maintenance is complete so we plan to go. We meet up, start doing preflight and the right fuel tank isn't indicating anything (there's 15 gallons in the tank). He calls the maintenance guy, shakes the wings, but still no luck. He looks at the schedule and one of the other planes was available, so we take it.

I do the complete take off, probably my best one yet (not totally smooth, but much better than what I've been doing). We do some power on stalls and simulated pattern work in the practice area then head for one of the nearby uncontrolled airports. I don't do very well getting into the pattern, so he ends up getting me to the 45 and we start pattern work. I wish I could take notes on how things went, in what order, but I know we did the following:
1) He did a touch & go
2) I did a full stop (swerving to the right once on the ground).
3) I did a go around.
4) I did a full stop (started to swerve and he took over)
5) I did a full stop (swerved but was able to recover)

Then we headed back to home base. I landed there and again started to swerve but recovered.

None of my landings were great, there's of course a lot more to work on. Although I was a little nervous, it was NOTHING like what I've experienced in the past. I don't know why, but I'll take it.

RIGHT RUDDER!!! My CFI was shouting this at me and I never really understood it until in my instrument training. But you really need to learn more about the rudder, left and right. Are you close up to them, able to push them all the way to the floor? I think you should ask your instructor to teach you "slips", you need to learn rudder control. When on the ground, you use the rudders, not the yoke (unless there is a crosswind). For me, I would perform differently depending upon the shoes I was wearing too.

Book a number of lessons, and go for it, check the weather before and if there is wind >10 knots then cancel, just go on the nice calm days. It's good to book like 3-4 lessons a week and just go when the weather is calm and beautiful.

Remember, once you get your PPL, it is a license to learn! I would not be going out flying with friends and family. You can earn your PPL with little knowledge of aviation and it is now up to you to make the decision. Go right into your instrument training and get more experience first. My thoughts.