I think I like that system except for the RPA. I'm not sure how that's supposed to work (or why). If I decide I'd like to buy a new heli, does she then need to find something she wants to buy that is similar in price (or vice-versa if she wants... a keyboard)? That seems like it would just make us spend more in lump sums than we otherwise would.
Right now, we're only buying essentials (trying to let the account recover after wedding expenses) but we're also reviewing the budget every weekend. We will probably relax on the budget after a couple months or so.
You guys review the budget every week? You
have a budget already? Pfffft, you’ll be fine.
The RPA is kind of a joke. I should have put a smiley face in there. We don’t literally follow it all the time. But the idea behind it is real. The term came about after a couple of incidents early in our marriage such as when he came home one day and announced, “I bought a sailboat.” I believe the purchase price was $14,000 and that was circa 1986 dollars. Newlyweds are so cute, thinking they can just go unilaterally do stuff as if they were still single.
In his defense, he did only make a down payment and said he could withdraw from the deal if I didn’t approve. Well even in my twenties I had already figured out that men, or at least my man, need “big toys” so I said he could have it but the point was made that big purchase decisions like that should be made jointly.
Having the RPA in the background makes us thoughtful about purchases of frivolous expensive stuff, mostly the $500~$1000 range (not huge ticket items like boats) because it effectively doubles the price, so we don’t do it unless we
really want it. The other person doesn’t always go out and get something, these days usually not. It’s become more of a joke. Stuff that used to be points of conflict have now become sources of amusement.
We've been married 35 years, we combined money when we got married, too much work to figure who got what Bill. We don't RPA, we generally agree on expenses. My flying addiction definitely trumps any discretionary spending she does. I work hard to fight every whim to buy stuff. Not so much that it's an issue to spend the money, but more to keep from filling the house and garage with junk.
Once again, just be reasonable and realistic. Money does not make you happy, but it can be a cause of misery if you let it be.
Yes, if both are reasonable and realistic then it works. If one is irresponsible with money you’ve got a problem. But likewise if one is a real tightwad and tries to impose that on the other it’s just as big a problem.
Especially considering that most of the time, my discretionary spending isn't lump sums - put together, my "hobby expenses" could be quite a bit, but I rarely buy enough at one time so that it would trigger the "expensive non-essential" clause, so even if he didn't have anything expensive he wanted to buy, technically I could just keep buying my stuff and it'd "fly under the radar", so to speak.
Obviously we don't have the years of experience to prove this will work for us, but I like approaching finances as a team so far.
We're trying to figure out how to make the money work best for *us*, instead of thinking only or mostly of ourselves as separate entities that happen to be sharing a bank account. And when we find ourselves both wanting something very expensive at the same time, hopefully we'll remember it's a team effort and not get too testy over it!
The bolded sentence is very well put. Whether you have separate accounts or pool the money is less important than the need to think of yourselves as a team rather than independent entities. Legally in most states your assets are considered shared anyway. Whether in separate accounts or merged, your combined worth and combined bills are the same.
It’s really just a matter of how you track it, and how you allow each partner to retain some sense of identity. That’s important too. I’m not implying you should give up your individuality and independence by merging accounts. We spend as we like without asking 99% of the time. This only works if the combined expenditures do not exceed income!
Because accounts are together we get around the issue of what the balance is at any moment by using credit cards for almost all purchases and paying them off every month so we don’t pay interest. That way the checking account never gets overdrawn, plus we get reward dollars back. And we don’t have to check with each other to see if there’s enough money in the account to make the purchase that day. Of course, using credit cards this way requires discipline. I can see where for some couples having separate checking accounts for your own fun money works better.
As for “flying under the radar”, shhhhhh! That was secret!
Seriously, this was very true during the kid years, but most of the small purchases I made were related to children and household, not my own personal desires. But I did probably spend more than he did all total, not counting the airplanes! And maybe car related expenses.
Flying and airplane expenses are a separate subject, as was rental property. Now you’re creating jointly held business accounts and you really do work as a team. At least we did. But you should know the law again, even if only one of you owns the business or plane you both might be liable.
Wishing blessings to you both on your new life together! Wishing blessings to you both on your new life together!
