[na]I accidentally told a coworker what I make[na]

SixPapaCharlie

SixPapaCharlie

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He is a VP and I am a director (different departments). We went to lunch and we were discussing some opportunities.

Without thinking I go "that's a 3 paycheck month so I'll have an additional x amount of dollars to throw at it". Then it got really weird. I quickly fumbled and said "Er I mean Y amount" which made it weirder and he goes "You make that much?" I just go "Uh no" and then I'm sure looked obviously uncomfortable for the rest of the conversation.

I don't give a rats behind what anybody in the company makes. If he had accidentally thrown out a number (high or low) I wouldn't have asked "You make that much?" The fact that he did has me feeling pretty uncomfortable right now. I'm not sure why though.

In 20 years of working I've only ever shared financial information with my wife, my dad and my CPA.
I consider it to be a subject that never gets discussed ever.

I'm not sure why but I feel like I just asked a heavy woman when the baby is due.
 
I wouldn't sweat it, especially if you mentioned your take home pay, since that varies quite a bit depending on deductions.

My wife's last paycheck was within a few hundred dollars of mine even though I make $35K more per year than she does. I have insurance and retirement taken out of mine, plus I have bumped my withholding up so we don't have quite as big of a bite at the end of the year.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
He is a VP and I am a director (different departments). We went to lunch and we were discussing some opportunities.

Without thinking I go "that's a 3 paycheck month so I'll have an additional x amount of dollars to throw at it". Then it got really weird. I quickly fumbled and said "Er I mean Y amount" which made it weirder and he goes "You make that much?" I just go "Uh no" and then I'm sure looked obviously uncomfortable for the rest of the conversation.

I don't give a rats behind what anybody in the company makes. If he had accidentally thrown out a number (high or low) I wouldn't have asked "You make that much?" The fact that he did has me feeling pretty uncomfortable right now. I'm not sure why though.

In 20 years of working I've only ever shared financial information with my wife, my dad and my CPA.
I consider it to be a subject that never gets discussed ever.

I'm not sure why but I feel like I just asked a heavy woman when the baby is due.
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"I'll invoke the fifth amendment on that!"

I don't know why it's such a taboo subject, but my guess is that it's a taboo that serves the interests of management more than anyone else.
 
It happens, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. Nowadays, a lot of salaries are posted online on sites like Glassdoor and LinkedIn, so it’s not too much of a secret if someone really wants to find out bad enough.
 
FormerHangie said:
My wife's last paycheck was within a few hundred dollars of mine even though I make $35K more per year than she does. I have insurance and retirement taken out of mine, plus I have bumped my withholding up so we don't have quite as big of a bite at the end of the year.
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We're in a similar boat. At my wife's last job her take-home pay was generally higher than mine, and just recently at this job it's gotten higher than mine, too. I make more money but mine has more deductions that come out of it.

Palmpilot said:
I don't know why it's such a taboo subject, but my guess is that it's a taboo that serves the interests of management more than anyone else.
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I'll agree that much of the taboo benefits employers over individuals since it makes it harder for Bryan to say to his boss "Why does Brian make $20k more than me, why?! Is it because his name uses less ink to print on the check?" So if Bryan was a bad negotiator coming in and Brian was a good one but they're otherwise equivalent, then yeah, all it does is let the company save the $20k on salary (plus whatever on matching, benefits, etc.).

At the same time, Bryan and Brian may have levels of experience or quality of their work output that makes Brian worth more. This gets more into the philosophical discussion of union-negotiated pay (where everyone gets treated equally) vs. a standard salary pay where the market, quality of your work, and your ability to negotiate/work the system towards a higher salary determine your pay. So it prevents uncomfortable conversations between employees like what Bryan ran into.

I've come across some coworkers who were nice enough folks normally, but really thought they were something special and would either use a pay discussion to 1) brag that they got paid more or 2) hold a grudge that you got paid more.

Personally, I'm with @SixPapaCharlie - it's nobody's business what I make and while I don't hide it I don't discuss it. Sometimes I'll give vague numbers or talk around it when talking with people who are either considering a job at my company or considering a career path similar to mine, just to give them ideas of what I've seen to help in the decision process.

I also wouldn't worry about it and would just move forward like it never happened. I mean, they've seen your Grumman with curb feelers, that will get rid of any thoughts about what you make.

Ryanb said:
It happens, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. Nowadays, a lot of salaries are posted online on sites like Glassdoor and LinkedIn, so it’s not too much of a secret if someone really wants to find out bad enough.
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That's more of a range rather than what the individual makes. What you make as an individual will depend on your where you came in salary wise, raises over time (merit, cost of living if your company does that, promotions, etc.), and your negotiating capability. Salaries of individual employees would not be posted online. At large companies no two people within a given department and the same roles should be too far off from one another, but they will be different.

Where you get a solid idea is with pay scales that are union negotiated. You get paid $X per Y time (usually in a $/hr realm), based on years of experience, job function you perform, etc. Then there's overtime and ways to work the system depending on what the job is.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
In 20 years of working I've only ever shared financial information with my wife, my dad and my CPA.
I consider it to be a subject that never gets discussed ever.
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I never had any idea what my Dad got paid. We in the midwest, at least, don't ever (EVER) talk about it. I know when I had people working for me out in NY and NJ, they seemed much more likely to discuss salaries with each other, so some of that may be regional attitudes.
 
When I sold industrial machinery (a job which I did very well) some desk snooper found out [from the accountant's desk] how much I was making and spread it around; after a year there I was the highest paid salesperson. There was immediate resentment, even though I earned every dime (following leads off the early electronic bulletin board, hanging around late to get some west coast biz, etc.)
It was my favorite job, and I had to leave it.
 
DaleB said:
I never had any idea what my Dad got paid. We in the midwest, at least, don't ever (EVER) talk about it. I know when I had people working for me out in NY and NJ, they seemed much more likely to discuss salaries with each other, so some of that may be regional attitudes.
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I grew up in NYC and I never heard anyone talk about what they made.

Now, they might talk about what something they bought cost (and in some cases brag about it) or other areas that may imply a salary or wealth, but not direct numbers. Was around people from a number of different parts of town (both affluent and the opposite) and different job types and backgrounds, so I got a good cross-section.

My guess is it might have been more the more specific culture in those offices. I actually once pulled a Bryan (so to speak) and slipped up what I got paid to my coworkers at the shop. Apparently it was higher than the other kids and not too far off from some of the adults...
 
Sac Arrow said:
If I had to take a WAG at what people make, I could guess @SixPapaCharlie makes computer code and Youtube videos, and @Ted DuPuis makes engines.
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I haven't made engines (other than the Cobra engine) in over 4 years. :(

But what I do is pretty fun. Ironically I'm really more of a software person, just not a code monkey specifically.
 
In most states the public employee’s salaries are public record and available online. Everyone’s tax returns should be viewable online - sure would end tax cheating.
 
So you think you make more than him or you make close to him and he is like Im VP no way? I wouldn't sweat it at all, I mean someone is always gonna make more than you, if he cant handle that then that's on him.

I work on a gov contract so my salary is public record and we all make the same so life is easy there. But Ill tell you this, people here are more sensitive to what you own. I mean we all make the same but I own an plane and everybody ask how in the world I can afford it, or they get butthurt when you build a house, or buy a new car or whatever. Its crazy, same with money, someone will always have more toys than you. Fact of life, doesn't bother me. If anything makes me work harder.
 
Clip4 said:
In most states the public employee’s salaries are public record and available online.
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For the first half of my career my salary was public info and easily checked. The second half, it's between me, my boss, and HR. I understand the need for the former in some roles but much prefer the latter.

Clip4 said:
Everyone’s tax returns should be viewable online - sure would end tax cheating.
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You go first.

Nauga,
whose returns are filed under N for nunya.
 
FormerHangie said:
that varies quite a bit depending on deductions.
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This is a good point. My direct deposit amount is pretty nice, but not as nice as it would look if I didn't max out my 401k and pay for health insurance.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
I'm not sure why but I feel like I just asked a heavy woman when the baby is due
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wow.. perfect.. really helps invoke the feeling

**People get weird with money. I agree, it shouldn't get discussed, ever.. but I am not sure that's same across industries. My friend, who works in consulting, openly discusses his bonuses, paychecks, etc.. so maybe it depends on your line of work

The weirdest thing to me was when I bought my first house a friend was over and completely casually asked "so how much did you guys put down?" .. kind of an odd thing to ask, even if you just give a percentage.. what does it matter?
 
Clip4 said:
Everyone’s tax returns should be viewable online - sure would end tax cheating
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I'm reminded of the prisoner's dilemma.. you think people would be busy ratting each other out?

In general I don't get the obsession with tax returns.. the fact that the IRS spends $12B stealing money from us is absurd.. why we care about what other people make or get thefted from them by the government seems to lack any productive value https://www.irs.gov/statistics/irs-budget-and-workforce
 
Amongst airline pilots we talk about our income freely, after all our contracts are easily available online. It also gives us something to ***** about, which is sort of a past time for us. ;)

I get so used to BSing with airline buddies that I have to remind myself when talking to non industry folks to shut the hell up about money.
 
kayoh190 said:
Amongst airline pilots we talk about our income freely, after all our contracts are easily available online. It also gives us something to ***** about, which is sort of a past time for us. ;)

I get so used to BSing with airline buddies that I have to remind myself when talking to non industry folks to shut the hell up about money.
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What about those corporate guys who BS about their salary being at the top of the chain? LOL
 
Thankfully the guy wasn't a CFI, and thankfully you didn't tell him of all the cash you rake in as a instructor :). [This comment is a inside joke on 6PC's visit to the FAA folks]
 
Clip4 said:
Everyone’s tax returns should be viewable online - sure would end tax cheating.
Click to expand...

I think that’s a pretty awful idea. First off there’s various privacy rights. Second it would make it a lot easier for nefarious individuals to target people for varying kinds of theft.

When it comes to the tax returns of non profits and salaries of publicly compensated individuals (i.e. taxpayer funded) that should be public. Otherwise I’m with @nauga on filing under N for nunya.

Tantalum said:
The weirdest thing to me was when I bought my first house a friend was over and completely casually asked "so how much did you guys put down?" .. kind of an odd thing to ask, even if you just give a percentage.. what does it matter?
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That could be someone fishing for info, or else someone more curious because they want to learn what others are doing. That gets into that indirect taking about money, which I don’t mind doing but some people do. Most people don’t mind saying they paid cash for a car or plane, which obviously implies some level of money in the bank (or at least that was in the bank). A house can get a bit different since it’s such a large purchase and thus can indicate much larger money on hand if you bought in cash or had a large down payment.
 
Clip4 said:
In most states the public employee’s salaries are public record and available online. Everyone’s tax returns should be viewable online - sure would end tax cheating.
Click to expand...

As a public employee, our salaries are public record and are even published in the local newspaper annually (I am told its a state law). Granted, most of us public employees are making the kind of dough that makes people jealous, just a nice honest wage.
 
kayoh190 said:
Amongst airline pilots we talk about our income freely, after all our contracts are easily available online. It also gives us something to ***** about, which is sort of a past time for us. ;)

I get so used to BSing with airline buddies that I have to remind myself when talking to non industry folks to shut the hell up about money.
Click to expand...

I am old enough to remember when any pilot, who wasn't moonlighting on the side doing drywall, could barely afford KD for the first 3 decades of their career (and then they got a widebody assignment and made it all up in the last 5 to mandatory retirement) :D

That's also the reason I decided not to pursue an aviation career of any sort (I even toyed with aeronautical engineering as a student, until I came across a Boeing employee who was an expert on trim tab hinges...and that was his whole career summed up :eek:).

Ted DuPuis said:
We're in a similar boat. At my wife's last job her take-home pay was generally higher than mine, and just recently at this job it's gotten higher than mine, too...
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I've never understood those studies that claim men are psychologically damaged and prone to becoming serial killers if their GF or wife makes more money than they do. I think every guy should aspire to be a kept man. ;) That's what I always tried to achieve.

But then I unknowingly, under completely false pretenses, got snagged by a woman who loves horses (unlike you, with the wife who likes 'dozers :thumbsup:).
BIG mistake. So there went my dream of upgrading to a 310, then a 414 and eventually an MU-2. :sigh:
 
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what we really want to know is how you spend your disposable income!
Publicly available credit card statement, yah!
 
GRG55 said:
I've never understood those studies that claim men are psychologically damaged and prone to becoming serial killers if their GF or wife makes more money than they do. I think every guy should aspire to be a kept man. ;) That's what I always tried to achieve.

But then I unknowingly, under completely false pretenses, got snagged by a woman who loves horses (unlike you, with the wife who likes 'dozers :thumbsup:).
BIG mistake. So there went my dream of upgrading to a 310, then a 414 and eventually an MU-2. :sigh:
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Horses are expensive.

I think any man who is psychologically damaged by his wife making more than him isn’t much of a man.
 
At my last company VP was lower than director. Heck, there were hundreds of us VPs in the building I worked in alone. At my new place, there are only two VPs.

I think it’s tacky to talk salary. It only results in hard feelings one way or the other.

Closest I came to your situation was when one of my reports saw me googling what the SS max was and took a guess based on the time of the year it was. He was wrong, but it was still uncomfortable.
 
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Never talk about what you make or any portion of what you make, it isn't any one's business. Remember that. I used to give employees who deserved it extra bonuses, I would always tell them if word got out it would stop. Never had an issue.
 
The only job I've ever had that wasn't a public knowledge scale was a B2B sales gig I did for a very brief period. Even then, It only took a reasonably intelligent person to work backwards from the deal sheet. Whenever conversation gets around to "pay inequality", I kinda have to shrug. Never seen it.
 
A long time ago, one of our admins was headed to the bank to deposit her paycheck (remember those?) and asked if anyone else needed theirs dropped off.

I endorsed mine, filled out a deposit slip, sealed everything in an envelope and gave it to her. A while later, she returned the envelope with the deposit receipt enclosed. What she didn't say was that she'd opened the envelope instead of just handing it to the teller, had found out what I made, and was aghast at the incredible amount of money I made. (It wasn't that much for an engineer.) Her next step was to tell her circle of admin friends.

A couple of days later I got a visit from HR. Uggh.
 
I saw a manager leave his W2 on the fax machine years ago, he was faxing his entire financial life to a mortgage broker and didn't use a cover sheet. W2 was the first thing he sent :)
 
Until last week I worked for a non-profit. My salary was a matter of public record.
 
Banking world, director and variants, are above VP and it’s variants. Anywhere else, I haven’t seen an exception to VP being above director.

My most eye opening experience with pay differences between team members was when I was approached to manage a new team that would be created from a subset of my then coworkers. It turns out corporate policy does not allow a staff member to make more than their manager. They wound up giving me a 30% pay raise, and had to do 2/3 of it just to meet that corporate requirement. Of course myself and all my current FTE staff are VP titled.
 
If the local FBO where I buy fuel and my mechanic got together, they could probably figure out how much I earn because they have it all. :D
 
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